


Dawn of a New Era

by marvelfan



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Avengers vs X-men, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Breathplay, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cerebro, Choking, Clint Is a Good Bro, Consensual Kink, Consensual Sex, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional pain, Emotions, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Face-Fucking, Feelings, Fighting, Flogging, Fluff, Foul Language, Graphic Violence, Human Experimentation, Hydra (Marvel), Interrogation, Kink Negotiation, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Love, M/M, Memories, Memory Loss, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Mutant Experimentation, Mutant Powers, Mutants, Nipple Play, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Orgasms, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Female Character, POV Original Female Character, Pain, Physical Pain, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Presents, Protective Avengers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Remy, Protective Steve Rogers, Retrieving Memories, Road Trips, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safewords, Science Bros, Sensation Play, Sex, Slapping, Smut, Spanking, Sparring, Steve Needs a Hug, Subspace, Super Soldier Serum, Super Soldiers, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Violence, avengers come in way later, avengers make their appearance in chapter 12, bruce is a good doctor, friendships, happiness, lots of pain, power of suggestion, power of the brain, protective Logan, the power of emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 00:27:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 95,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4898452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelfan/pseuds/marvelfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demeter is sent on missions to capture mutants like her, for her company to experiment on. Her escapades gain the attention of one Charles Xavier. Her latest mission is to capture a mutant known as Wolverine. What could possibly go wrong when a mutant assassin meets the X-Men?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How It All Began

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first LONG fic. It is a X-Men/Avengers crossover fic. The POV and main character is an OFC (original female character). I will do my best to include all of the tags - if I miss anything, please let me know and I will add them on.  
> This fic honestly came from a sex dream I had one night back in May or June, and somehow it snowballed into this fic before you today.  
> Comments, kudos, and suggestions are always welcome!  
> I am adding the first 11 chapters now, and when I finish editing the remaining chapters, I will add them on as well.  
> You can always find me on tumblr: loki-silver-tongued-god  
> This is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are mine.  
> (See the end of work for more notes)

_HELP! PLEASE, HELP! MOMMY! DADDY! HELP ME!_

*

It is 5:30a.m. This is the same time she wakes every morning. Demeter has had the same dream for the past fifteen years. It is of a little girl who has been taken from her parents by strange people. Her morning routine is the same unless she is on a mission. She gets up, goes to the bathroom, brushes her teeth, gets dressed, works out, showers, eats breakfast, and then reports for duty. This morning is no different. She walks into her handlers quarters to be told her daily assignment.

"You have a mission. Here is your assignment" He hands her a picture of her mark. "You are to bring him in alive. Understood?"

"Yes sir".

"Good. Now go to the equipment room and gather whatever equipment you will need. You leave in two hours. Dismissed". And with that, Demeter turns around to leave. She heads towards the equipment room like she was ordered. She always follows orders, even if she doesn't understand why. The selection of weapons  is vast, ranging from knives to guns to arrows, and so on. She takes two knives and one hand gun. She doesn't require much; she is a weapon herself. An hour and a half later and she is gone.

Demeter finds her mark in some stupid underground fighting ring. She could have easily entered herself in and fought her way through these pathetic wanna-be-badass idiots, but she opted to just watch and wait. Her mark is like her, he is different, special. He has powers. He is able to shoot a red energy beam from his hands. She watches and waits until the fights are over and follows him outside down into the dark alleyway. "Excuse me, sir. I, I saw you fighting in there. You were really great, and kinda hot. I was wonderin' if you wanted to grab a drink".

"No, I'm fine. Now please, leave me alone".

"Oh come on, just one drink. I promise it won't kill ya".

"I said no. Listen lady, you really don't want to push me, okay?"

"Okay". She watches as he turns around to walk away. She murmurs under her breath that they will have to do this the hard way. "I'm sorry. I really am, but you leave me no choice". Before he can even turn around, she throws one of her knives into his leg and is running towards him. He shoots an energy beam at her, but she ducks and rolls out of the way, coming back up to her feet and kicking him in his face, knocking him out. ' _Well, that was easier than expected. Oh well, another one bites the dust'_ she thinks.  She zip ties his hands behind his back and drags him to her car to take back to base.

That is the first time Demeter caught Xavier's attention. He has been tracking this mutant that she captured for some time now. He knows that Demeter was different, but can't quite tell what her powers are exactly. He just knows she is extremely powerful, maybe as powerful as he. He is able to track her movements through this machine called Cerebro. It helps him find other mutants, to bring them in to his facility and give them a safe place to stay. After she captures eight other mutants, he decides that he needs to bring her in and talk with her about what she is doing, hopefully get her to change her ways.

*

Demeter wakes, suddenly, gasping for air as sweat drips from her forehead. She just had the same nightmare that she has for the past fifteen years, but something is different this time. She is able to recall the names of the two figures of mom and dad. She never recalls meeting these people she dreams about, but she doesn't really remember much of her life prior to being with the company she is now.

This company trained her to be a killer, to use and expand her powers. She was taught every martial arts out there, gathering techniques from all around the world. She is fluent in four different languages (English, Spanish, Russian, and French). Her preferred weapon of choice is a knife, but she doesn't mind using a gun when necessary. She is one of their top, if not their best assassin. And this assassin just got called to do the toughest assignment she has ever received. She makes her way to her handlers, reading over the file they hand her once she arrives. "I'm going to need an extensive amount of tranquilizers for him. He heals, so his body will probably flush it out quickly".

The shorter handler speaks. "Agreed. He will be difficult to bring in, but someone like him is highly valuable to us. Do whatever is necessary to bring him in alive. We want to see how far his healing abilities go and if there are any other special tricks he can do. Don't worry about how messy or loud you need to be. We'll send a clean-up crew as soon as you sedate him. We want him. Do not fail us. Understood?"

"Yes sir, understood".

"You leave in twenty minutes. Take what equipment you need. Dismissed".

With a nod, she turns on her heel and is out the door, on her way to the equipment locker. She arms herself with two knives and one gun. She decids she wouldn't need a whole arsenal of weapons due to his healing capabilities. ' _Why waist ammunition if he's just going to heal_ '. She makes her way to the med bay to pick up the tranquilizers that she will need, hoping that it will be enough to sedate him until she gets him into the van. She walks towards the plane that takes her to upstate New York. ' _Farmland, my favorite. At least there won't be that many civilian casualties_ ', she thinks. She may be an assassin, but she isn't without feelings. Hell, her specialty is feelings, and how to use and manipulate them. She makes her way to the nearest town and begins her search for her mark. ' _What kind of a name is Logan, anyways?_ '. This one townsperson says that he comes in on his motorcycle every once in a while, but he doesn't live in this town. ' _Great, next town over_. _Stupid intel. How do these morons expect anything to get done when they can't even get a location correct_ '. As much as she wants to call her superiors up and tell them they are idiots, she has a job to do. She sets out for the next town over, hoping to find her mark. All she wants to do is capture him and get back to base. Rural areas make her uncomfortable. They are out in the open, hard to blend in, which is why she likes the big cities like D.C. better. No one notices anyone there.

She arrives and finds the nearest bar. The file on Logan states that he likes to drink and smoke cigars. ' _A class act this guy_ '. She sits at the bar and orders herself a beer, sipping it and scanning the room for him. Fifteen minutes later, she hears the sound of a motorcycle pulling up. ' _Game time_ ' she thinks. She watches him walk in, wearing butt hugging jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Her insides might have clutched a little; she has always been attracted to the bad-boy looking type or even villains in movies. He walks over and sits down at the bar, ordering himself a beer. They drink in silence for a few minutes as she keeps stealing glances of him in the mirror above the bar. She finishes the rest of her drink, pays her tab, and leaves. She waits in her car until he comes out an hour later. He walks over and hops onto his motorcycle and drives off. She quickly starts her call and follows him.

Twenty minutes later he pulls into this run-down looking place and walks inside. There are a few other cars in the lot, so she pulls in and gets out, following her mark into the building. As soon as she steps inside she knows it's a trap. Automatically falling into assassin mode, she scans the area for any feelings of fear or anger. She is picking up traces of it from behind a door in the back right. She pulls out her gun, ready to attack if need be. The door opens up and out walks Logan, looking smug. Reacting quickly, she shoots him four times, once in the leg and three times in the chest. He falls down to the ground, appearing unconscious. She moves across the floor to where his body lays, seeing his body already healing itself. ' _Cool_ ' was all she can think of. Before she can do anything else, the door behind her busts open and some man in a weird costume and mask shoots a red beam from his eyes at her. The shot hits her and throws her across the room, hitting the back wall with a loud thud. She shakes her head, clearing the fogginess that settled there after that hit. Standing up, her eyes turn black and her face as angry as it can look. "You fool" is all she says before she makes the man with the eye mask feel like he is being stabbed fifty times with a sharp knife.

That is part of her gift. She can make people feel anything she wants them to feel. She can even take people's feelings away. She is able to search someone's memory through their feelings. She also has the power of suggestion. She can't force anyone to do anything, but she can make them feel like they want to do it. Her eyes are always a dead giveaway. They are practically a mood ring. If she is angry or in pain, her eyes turn black. And right now, she is very angry.

The man she is making feel pain is on the floor screaming in agony. It's music to her ears. A woman with long red hair follows the masked man in and throws Demeter against the wall without even touching her. ' _Great, a fucking telekinetic. Just what I need_ '. She gets up and makes the red head feel like she is drowning, unable to breath and having a panic attack, all while maintaining the stabbing feeling for the eye-masked man. She turned to look at Logan, and is quickly hit square in the jaw, making her stumble and fall to the ground. "Ow... fuck, that hurt". He quickly follows her, kicking her in the ribs as she just gets onto all fours to push herself up. Angry and in pain, her eyes turning even more black, she lets out a loud "STOP", making everyone in the room feel like they had just been hit with a baseball bat all over their bodies. "I've had enough of you assholes". She pulls out the tranquilizer that she had hidden in her back pocket and stalks toward Logan. She only gets one in before an old man's voice overtakes her head.

"Please stop this. You don't have to do this. I just want to try and help you" the stranger says.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD" she yells, clutching her head in pain. She spins around in circles, looking for the source of the voice, unable to locate it.

The strange voice continues speaking to her. "Please calm down. I just want to try and help you. Let everyone go and come with us. I can help you".

"I don't need your fucking help" she snarls. Just out of spite, she ups the pain level for everyone, making it feel that much more intense and hurtful for them. "I swear I will kill every last one of them. This is the last time I'm going to say it. Get out of my head". She takes out her knife and starts walking over to the red haired woman. She kneels down behind her, grabbing her hair to pull her head up, revealing her neck. Before she can put the knife to her, there is this terrible pain in her head, making her cry out, dropping the knife, writhing on the floor. "Stop, please stop" is all she kept crying. She's never felt anything as terrible before. "Fuck, please stop… please" escapes her mouth as a whimper. She quickly drops her hold on the pain she made everyone else feel. She is in too much pain herself to keep it up.

Slowly the three of them get up. Logan stumbling over to where Demeter is, kneels down beside her as she still writhes and crying out for it to stop. "Sorry about this, kid" is the last thing she hears before Logan knocks her out.

*

"This poor girl has been through so much. She didn't even know what had happened to her" the strange voice from before says. She can't stay awake long enough to try and escape or listen further. She must be on sedating drugs, because she dozes right back to sleep.

*

The next time Demeter wakes, she awakes with a startle, not knowing where she is or who is there. She sits straight up, looking around while tugging wires off of her. The redhead from before is there, along with this woman with white hair. They rush over to her to try and calm her down, but she panics and resorts to her go-to method of making them feel pain to get them to back away. She quickly stands up and almost falls over, still dizzy from the drugs. She almost reaches the door before something pricks her neck and she is asleep in seconds.

*

Demeter awakes for the third time, but this time she is in a dorm looking room. It has a bed that she lays in, a desk and chair over on the other side of the room, and a closet by the foot of the bed. She attempts to sit up fast, quickly regretting that decision as her ribs and head are still in pain. From the feel of it, she probably has two broken ribs. ' _That bastard really packs a kick_ '. She brings her hand up to the right side of her forehead to feel the spot the pain is radiating from. There are stitches that have been bandaged up. ' _What did they do? Take a piece of my brain out or something? What kind of sick fuck would do that_ ' is all she can think."Great, I'm in some psychopaths house".

She can feel that something is different about herself. She doesn't have the exact need to obey and report. She feels like she is able to do things she wants to do, not needing to be told anything. "Weird". She needs to escape and report back to her handlers. She can't help but wonder why she needs to do this. Everything in her head feels mixed together, jumbled up. Whatever they did to her, she is not enjoying it. She looks around to find a pair of clothes at the bottom of the bed laid out. "At least they give me clothes" she mutters as she dresses.

*

Xavier is sitting at his desk talking with the men known as Logan and Cyclops and the women known as Jean Grey, Storm, Rogue, and Kitty. They are discussing their newly acquired individual.

"She didn't have a choice. The microchip in her head gave them complete control of her. She had to do what she was told". Xavier sounds calm, but angry with the people that previously had Demeter.

"She still aided them and helped them capture at least nine mutants that we know of, not to mention how many humans and mutants she's probably killed along the way". Cyclops has a point, but he is missing the main one that Xavier is trying to explain.

"Scott, think about it this way. If I used my ability to make you do something, would it be your fault"?

"No, I suppose not".

"The same applies to her. Only in her case, it was a microchip implanted by humans".

Scott lets out a soft sigh. "I suppose you're right Professor. What are we going to do with her".

"I say kick her out. She was trying to capture me or kill me. I take offense to that, ya know", Logan says, stepping forward to the group.

"We're not kicking her out, sugar. She needs help. We all needed help at some point, ain't that right professor".

"You're exactly right Rogue. She needs help. She doesn't remember what happened to her family or how she ended up with those people. They trained her and used her to be a killer. She deserves to have a second chance. And that is what we are going to try and provide. I'm hoping she'll let me help her with her memories. I also don't know how she's going to react to knowing she was implanted with a chip. I don't even know if she'll remember doing all of the things she did for them or not. There are a lot of unknowns at the moment. We just have to take our time with her and let her get reacquainted with herself and the world around her".

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll play nice. But if she gets rough, I'm gonna rough her up. That pain she made us feel was not fun. But we'll do it your way for now, Chuck". Logan is irritated, but he understands the professor's reasoning.

"Kitty, would you go take her some food and see how she is doing. You're around her age and she might react kindly to someone like you".

"Of course professor. Fingers crossed it goes well". And with that, Kitty leaves.

*

Demeter finishes getting dressed when she hears a knock on the door. She stiffens for a moment, but quickly moves next to the door, ready to strike as soon as the woman enters.

"I'm coming in" Kitty calls. She opens the door with one hand and has the tray of food in the other. As soon as she steps in, she is being grabbed at the collar of her shirt and thrown against the wall. Demeter follows up with the kick to the stomach and an uppercut to Kitty's face. Demeter moves to strike again, but Kitty phases, sending Demeter tumbling into the wall.

She quickly picks herself back up, ready to fight her way out the room if necessary. "What do you want with me? What are you doing here? Who are you? Where am I?". The questions are spilling out of her mouth, hoping the girl that walked in will be able to shed some light on the situation.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there horsey. My name is Kitty. I was told to come bring you some food and see how you were doing. I'm not here to hurt you, I promise". She puts her hands up to show that she isn't going to attack or try to harm her. "Let me go get the professor. He might be able to help you".

Demeter continues to stare at her, growling in an almost feral way, unsure of who any of these people are. She watches as Kitty opens the door and leave to go tell the professor that Demeter is awake. She lets herself relax slightly, but then the door is busting open with Logan. "You. What are you doing here?"

"I heard some commotion and came in to make sure you weren't hurtin' Kitty".

"She left, and you should too. I'm supposed to bring you in. You're my mission". That last part comes out slightly confused, not really knowing if he is still her mission or not. Her thoughts are all jumbled and she doesn't like it. She isn't used to not knowing what to do.

"Am I still you're mission, kid?"

"Stop calling me a kid. And I don't know... What did you people do to me? Why am I here?" The anger in her grows with each word, not knowing what else to feel. Her eyes are starting to darken, but not completely black yet.

"That's some weird shit you do with your eyes, kid. And we helped you. If you would calm down for a second and relax, you could find out".

"I don't trust you. What did you do to my head?"

"I don't trust you either, so I guess we're even, bub. And I didn't do anything to your head. That was the professor. Again, he was helping you".

"Liar". She jumps towards him, swinging her arm in a punch, landing it right across his cheek. He stumbles backwards and she quickly follows up with a kick to his ribs and a right hook. She isn't her fastest due to what felt like broken ribs, but she manages. After all, she's had worse and fought with worse.

"Fine, we'll do this the hard way then". He wipes the blood off of his bottom lip, and charges at her. She ducks and trips him, quickly jumping on top of him to pin him down. She delivers punch after punch to his face, sometimes throwing in body shots while he lays beneath her. She isn't heavy enough to hold him down, and he flips them over so that he is on top and her pinned underneath him. "You got a lot of anger in you, kid. Gonna have to learn how to control that". He hits her once in the face, and she is pretty sure that her cheek and nose are broken from that. Her eyes are fully black now as she uses her power to make him feel like he is being burned alive. The pain forces him off of her, and she quickly stumbles to her feet to find something to bind him in. For now, all she can find is the bed sheet. She makes due, wrapping his arms behind his back as tight as she can.

She knows she has to get out of here, has to call her handlers, but for the life of her, she can't shake the feeling that she shouldn't go back to them. ' _So this is what cognitive dissonance feels like_ '. Before she can get any further, that old man's voice is in her head again, telling her to stop. ' _God, this fucker again. I'm getting real sick of his shit_ '.

"I can read your thoughts, dear. Please calm down and talk with me. We can even talk face to face if that would make you feel better. That way I would be out of your head".

Her heart is beating fast, and she knows that if she talks to him she might get some answers, but if she runs, he might do that pain thing to her head again. Her thoughts are racing fast and she doesn't know what to do. She wishes she had an order right now, not a choice. She looks down at Logan and falls back into the mindset of her mission. "Sorry pal, but he's my mission. I need to complete it. If I don't…" she trails off, thinking about what her handlers will do to her if she fails. She grabs Logan's feet and drags him to the doorway before that annoying voice is back.

"Please don't go. Come talk with me. I promise I will clarify what has happened. If you don't want to stay, that's fine. You're not a prisoner here. But, you are not taking Logan with you. I'm sorry, but I can't allow that. Please release him".

"You know what? I'm getting real sick and tired of hearing that goddamn English accent of yours. Screw you. I have to complete my mission". She knows that the pain will be coming, so she tries to brace herself for it. It doesn't help at all. She drops Logan's feet and falls to ground clutching her head, screaming as loud as she can for it to stop. This reminds her of the chair her handlers would put her in if she got too mouthy or went to them about her nightmares. That was electrocution, but this, this is something far worse. While she is crying, memories of how she was punished by her handlers when she cried flooded her brain. She can't take it anymore. She is over-stimulated and overwhelmed with the memories and the pain. "Stop, please stop. I won't try and take him! Just please, please stop. I can't take it anymore, please!" The pain stops immediately after, but she continues sobbing. She finds her way to the bed and curls up underneath the covers, crying herself to sleep, still murmuring her apologies as she drifts off into a deep sleep.

*

Waking up this time is much better than before. She at least has a sense of where she is. She remembers the battle with Logan in the room and then curling up into bed crying. She feels rested, but still confused on a lot of things. Her ribs and cheek hurt, but other than that she feels decent. First things first is finding out what these people want from her, and then she can go from there. A minute later and there is a knock on the door. She tenses automatically, but has to remind herself not to attack.

"Hello?" Her voice is raspy from sleeping for so long.

"Hi sugar. My name is Rogue. Mind if I come in?".

"It's not my room. You can come in if you want".

"Alright, I'm coming in". She opens the door and Demeter immediately takes in her features. She is in shape, with long reddish hair with a white streak in it. Her accent is definitely southern, but a nice southern, not some of those annoying accents people have. "How'd you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess".

"Well good. I'm here to see how you're doing and to ask if you feel up to talking to the professor or not. It's okay if you don't feel up to it right now. We can always bring you some good ol' comfort food and let you relax and rest some".

"I, um... Sure. I guess I feel up for it. Might as well get it over and done with".

"Alright then. Well, I will let you get dressed. There are a change of clothes in the dresser there, and I'll be outside the door waiting for ya. Take your time. We're in no rush today". Rogue turns around, closing the door on the way out.

' _Well she seems pleasant. Maybe a little too pleasant. I mean I did just try and kill her friends. No, scratch that. I hurt her friends and attempted to kidnap one of them. Great. I'm sure everyone here just loves me. I wonder if they'll torture me for information_ '. Her train of thought is interrupted by the woman, Rogue, outside the door asking if she is okay. "Oh, yes. Sorry. I'll be right there". Getting dressed takes a little longer than usual, her ribs hurting every time she lifts her arms.

"No rush. I was just makin' sure you were doing fine, that's all".

Demeter opens the door to find Rogue to the right of it. "I'm ready".

"Great! Right this way, sugar".

Demeter follows Rogue through what appears to be a mansion, taking in every turn and detail that she possibly can. Never know when those small details are going to save your life. Three floors and a few minutes later, they arrive outside of an office-like room.

"We're here. Just a heads up, the professor is in there along with Logan. All they want to do is talk, okay? They're not going to hurt you".

All Demeter can do is just nod her head and mumble "okay". She is still unsure of the situation, but what other choice does she have. If she feels like they are lying to her, she can always read their memories through their feelings to find the truth.

"Great. Now go on in, and if you need anything, just let me know. I'm here to help you".

She looks up at Rogue and sees her big brown eyes looking down at her as if she is a lost little puppy. "Um, thanks". She turns back to the door, takes a deep breath, and opens it. ' _Now or never_ '.

Once she walks in, the man who she assumes is the professor, is sitting behind his desk in a wheelchair. ' _Great, I let a crimpled beat me_ '. He smiles up at her, telling her to have a seat. Logan is leaning against the wall to the right of her. Her heartbeat slightly increases due to being so close to a mark, especially one whose she's done battle with.

"Welcome. My name is Charles Xavier. I was the annoying English voice in your head, as you so elegantly put it. I believe you already met Logan".

She takes a quick glance over to Logan, her eyes steely fierce, not knowing what to expect from him. What she doesn't expect is him saying "Kid" and nodding towards her. Her brows furrow in confusion, not believing how nice and civil they are being with her.

"Hello". She nods back and then turns her attention to Xavier. "Hello". Her shoulders are tense and she is unable to relax. She doesn't know if they will attack at any moment or not. She seriously hopes not. Her ribs are hurting and she can feel the bruise she has under her eye.

As if reading her thoughts, Xavier replies "We're not here to harm you. You're safe here".

Her face falls flat. "You said you would stay out of my head. You lied. I don't like liars". Her face is devoid of any emotion, a trick she taught herself years ago in her training.

"I wasn't in your head, I promise. Like I said, we're not here to hurt you. All we want to do is talk. Is that okay?"

"Fine" she replies, still without emotion. "Talk".

"How about we start with your name. What is it?"

She wonders about whether or not she should give them a false name, but the man in the wheelchair will be able to tell if she were lying. "Demeter. My name is Demeter".

"It's nice to meet you Demeter. I first noticed you a month ago when you picked a man up outside of an underground fighting ring. He was a mutant and you captured him. You also did the same to a few others, if I'm correct. I want to know why you did it, especially being a mutant yourself" He is very calm and relax when he speaks, sounding without judgment, which is a rare occurrence with people.

"They were my missions. I was ordered to capture them, usually didn't matter if it was dead or alive. That depended on their ability and their willingness to cooperate".

"What did you do with them once you captured them?" The professor's voice is soft and caring. It makes her relax just a fraction.

She glances over at Logan to see what he is doing and then glances back to the professor. "I cuffed them and then took them back to the facility. From there the scientists would get them and perform whatever experiments their little hearts desired on them". Her face and voice is still not showing any in fluctuations or emotions. She doesn't trust them yet.

"Do you remember when you started doing all of that? How you began training and working for those people?"

This time, her face scrunches up, not knowing how to respond. She doesn't remember. "No. I do not remember".

"How long have you been with them?"

"Fifteen years. I don't remember anything prior to that. I just remember being there one day".

This time it is Logan who spoke. "What did they do to you?"

She turns in her chair to face him. "That's a very loaded question. In what regard do you mean?"

"I mean, how did they train you, did they hurt or torture you, did they experiment on you? Just what did they do to you".

She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking. "They trained me since the first day I was with them. They trained me in fighting, weapons, killing, languages, basic education, foreign education, politics, dancing, seduction, torture techniques, and sex. I also trained with my powers and abilities. To answer your second question, yes, they did torture me at times. I was only tortured when I acted out or failed. Trust me, I learned not to fail. As for the third question, yes, they experimented on me. They tested my powers and limits, seeing how far I could push them. They found a way to increase them, or at least sped up their development".

Logan's face is full of disgust, not at her, but at the people who did that to her. "I'm sorry you went through all of that. Christ, you were just a kid".

"It's fine. Do not apologize. There is no need for it. Now, my turn to ask some questions". Turning her attention back to the professor who is watching her intently. "How did you find me?"

"I have this machine called Cerebro. It helps me find other mutants. I find them and offer them a safe place to stay. The world out there can be very unkind to mutants".

"Second question", she speaks as she turns back to Logan. "How did you know I was coming after you. You couldn't possibly have known that".

"I can actually answer that one" the professor states. "I projected my consciousness into someone around you and got a look at your file and saw that it was Logan. From there, we set up the meet and waited for you. We didn't know who you were or what you were doing with the mutants you were capturing".

"Fair enough. What do you plan on doing with me now? Torture? Hold me captive? Put me through more of that mind pain who so love to do?" She flinches out of reflex, expecting a blow to come for being cynical.

Both the professor and Logan can't help but chuckle, but they both notice the flinch. "You got quite a sarcastic little mouth on you, don't you kid?"

"I told you to stop calling me kid, and yes I do. Now what do you plan on doing with me?"

"When you were in your room and had Logan there, your thoughts were scrambled. It seemed like you couldn't sort anything out. Also, you have no memory of what happened before you were with the people you are now. I want to help you with that, if you'd like".

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?"

"I can help you find those lost memories and sort out the thoughts and memories that are in your head".

"Speaking of my head. What the hell did you do to it? Why is it stitched up?"

"While you were unconscious back in the building, I went through your mind, looked at your memories. I found a few where it was the people you were with and they put a microchip in your head. We also did an x-ray to scan for it. Once we found it, I had Jean remove it".

"Who's Jean?"

"You met her. She was the redhead that was in the building with Logan and Scott".

"What did the microchip do? What did it have on it?" Her mind is swirling with ideas and theories, none of them she likes.

"The chip appeared to be a control chip. They were able to control you and make you do what they wanted without hesitation from you. I also believe that's why you still felt the need to attack Logan up in your room. Even though the chip was out, you still had the memory of that order that they gave you, and by proxy you felt like you had to complete it".

Her head hurts with all of this new information. "Wait a second. You're telling me that they implanted a microchip into me when they first recruited me or whatever it was, and that little chip made me their dancing monkey?"

"Essentially yes". Logan couldn't help the little smirk that made its way to his face.

"Son of a bitch. I'm going to kill them. Every last one of them. I swear to God I will rip them limb from limb and make a bloody mess of that damn facility". Her eyes start to darken ever so slightly.

"Relax Demeter. It's okay, no one is going to hurt you here. Out of curiosity, why do your eyes turn black?" The professor is genuinely curious about that. He wonders if they turned any other color.

Relaxing a little, her eyes returning to a normal color, she decids to answer his question. "The best way to describe them is like a mood ring. When I'm angry or hurt, they turn black. When I'm sad or depressed, they turn blue. When I'm feeling passion or lust or love, they turn red. I have to feel these feelings at a high level for my eyes to turn a different color. Although that is not especially hard for me".

"And why's that?" Logan peels himself off of the wall, making his way to sit in the chair next to her.

"It's because I feel everything at a heightened level. Everyone feels their emotions down here" she makes her hand point out straight. "I feel emotions at a level all of the way up here". She raises her other hand to a much higher position. "I feel emotions twenty times more intensely than anyone else".

"That must be very difficult". The professor is beginning to think that is why she gets so angry that she loses control. "Like I said, I want to help you regain your memories and sort out what's going on in your head. We can also explore your powers more in depth if you'd like".

She can't help it, she has to ask. "Why are you doing this for me? Why are you all being so nice to me? I hurt your people and tried to kidnap him so he could be experimented on. I don't understand".

"I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do. Everyone deserves a second chance, and you are no exception to that. I genuinely want to help you. Even Logan here wants to help you".

"It's true, kid. The professor helped me recover my memories. I was experimented on years ago, and they took away my memories of my past. Like I said, he helped me".

She nods, looking a little bashful at almost making Logan be experimented on again. "But what if I mess up? What if I accidentally hurt someone? It's not like I have the best anger management skills in the world".

"Don't worry. We will be here to help you, to guide you to a better path".

She thinks about it for a moment and then decides "Okay. I'm in".


	2. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demeter and Logan duke it out in the gym. Logan learns more about Demeter's past. Demeter and Xavier have their first session together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes lots of crying - it's kinda painful. Sorry!  
> *NOTE: Violence happens, and mentions of child/family deaths*  
> *NOTE: Mentions of torture and rape*  
> If I missed anything in the tags or warnings, please let me know.

Demeter still doesn't feel like herself the next day. She is in a new environment where she hardly knows anyone, let alone trusts anyone. She is anxious about her sessions with Xavier. He told her that her memories might not all come back at once, and that they should work on unscrambling her thoughts and memories that she does have first. In order to go to her session with him, she will have to stop outside her door, which she hasn't done since she got back to it yesterday. ' _Everyone probably hates me and wants to kill me. I hurt them. I was going to kill one of them just to get to Logan. How are they ever going to be able to forgive me? God, I hate this right now. Stuck in this room all by myself, not even talking, just thinking to myself like a loon. Great, I'm turning into a crazy. Just my luck'_. A moment later her bladder is dancing around inside of her, having to pee like no other. ' _Great. Now I have to go out there'_.

She puts on a shirt overtop of her undershirt and walks over to the door, opening it just enough to peak out and see if the coast is clear. There is no one in the hallways so she sneaks out, walking around to find the bathroom. Thankfully it isn't that far away, and she makes quick use of it.  Instead of going back to her room, she decides to take a little tour of the place and snoop around.

She walks up and down the halls on her floor, noticing that it is all living spaces, rooms for people, and a lounge area. She remembers Xavier saying that he offered mutants a safe place to stay. ' _What is this? Some kind of mutant hotel?_ ' The next floor down proves to be more interesting. There are what appear to be classrooms and kids in them with a teacher. ' _School and hotel?_ ' One teacher she passes has all white hair, another is blue and furry, and another is big and bulky. "What an odd assortment of people" she silently mutters under hear breath.

The next floor down is the ground floor. This has a huge entrance into the building, a big dining room, a big kitchen, a gym, and a huge lounging area. ' _This dude has to be freaking rich out of his ass to afford this place_ ' she thinks. She finds a door that probably leads to the basement, but before she can open it, Xavier, Jean, and Scott come around the corner.

"Hello Demeter. How are you this morning? Well I hope". Xavier still sounds as warm and caring as he did the day before. She is beginning to think that is how he normally is.

Her face blushes red, looking like she was just caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Hi. I, I swear I wasn't snooping. I just wanted to get a look around. I'm sorry". Her speech is increasing in pace, getting more and more anxious as she rambles. Her eyes immediately dart toward Jean and Scott, growing wide with fear of what they might do. She doesn't know if they will be angry at her for the pain she caused them, for almost killing Jean. Instinctively, she takes a step back, looking like an animal that is being pushed into a corner.

"It's okay Demeter. You're allowed to look around. There are no rules against exploring. I'm actually quite glad that you came out of your room. Feel free to roam the whole area if you'd like. If you want, maybe later Rogue or Logan would take you out into the town and have a night out if you'd like". Damn, he really does sound genuine and kind. How does he even exist. He notices that she is still watching Scott and Jean with wide, worried eyes. "This is Scott and Jean. They are two of my brightest students. They aren't going to harm you. No here is going to hurt you. It's okay. You don't need to be afraid here".

She risks a quick glance toward Xavier and then back to the two figures in front of her. The man, Scott, reaches out his hand and introduces himself. She slowly outstretches her hand to meet his and shakes it. "Hi. I'm Demeter". The redhead, Jean, does the same and they shake hands. "Hi. I'm, uh... I'm... I'm sorry I tried to kill you". She doesn't know what else to say. This situation is so awkward.

Jean smiles sweetly and assures her it is okay. "No worries. You're not the first person to try and kill me or any of us for that matter. It wasn't your fault anyways, you were just doing what you were ordered to do". Scott gives her a terse smile and agrees with Jean.

Demeter snaps at her. "Killing you was my choice. Just because there was a microchip in my head doesn't mean I didn't have any choices. I could have chosen to leave you alone. You weren't my mission, Logan was. Stop acting like I didn't have a choice".

Scott steps in front of Jean protectively. "Whoa. How about you calm down, okay, and stop getting so defensive. Fine. It was your choice to try and kill her, like a monster".

"Scott" is all the professor has to say. He sounds so disappointed in his young little pupil. Jean doesn't like his response as well, telling him to shut up and be nice. She tells him that is how Demeter was trained, that she couldn't help it.

"I'm gonna go". The professor asks her to stay, but Demeter shakes her head and apologizes.  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I just... I'm sorry. I need to go". She turns around and walks the other way, unconsciously finding her way to the gym, which is thankfully empty.

She looks around and finds a punching bag near blue wrestling mats on the floor. The tape and gloves are in the equipment room behind it. She decides against wearing the gloves, but wraps her hands up so that they won't get cut up too badly. She starts punching and throwing kicks in every once in a while. Her speed and power behind her punches increases as the memories of her training and missions flooded her brain. The memory of her first kill comes to mind. She was eight years old and was sent to kill a mother, father, and their nine year old child. Who better to get close to a kid than another kid? The mission ended with the mother and father being stabbed to death by Demeter, and her snapping the kid's neck. That was her first kill. She had other missions similar to that one. Her handlers made sure she didn't discriminate against killing a certain type of person like a child, or the elderly, or a woman. Everyone was fair game.

There was always a small voice in the back of her head telling her that what she was doing was wrong, but she never listened to it. The one time she went to her handlers about it, they practically beat it out of her head. From that moment on she learned to ignore that small little voice and focus on the mission.

The door to the gym opens, and she uses her powers to sense who it is. "Leave me alone" is all she says as she continues to strike the punching bag with all that she has.

"Those are some impressive moves". Logan moves behind her as he continues talking. "Scott is an asshole. Trust me, I've called him that many of times to his face. He had no right to call you a monster".

"Maybe. I am. A monster". Words are tough to speak, as she is huffing for breath, continuing to hit the bag. "Go away".

"Yeah, I'm not going to do that, and you are not a monster. You're just a kid that was put in a shitty situation and taught things you had no business knowing".

"You have no idea what I've done. And stop. Calling me. KID". Demeter lashes out against the bag, letting her anger and frustration pour out of her through her fists.

Logan steps up next to the bag, watching her destroy it. "Like I said, you got a lot of anger in you. And you are a kid. You never had a childhood. You were thrown into being an adult at such a young age. You definitely have a temper to you too".

"You have no idea what you're talking about. Stop thinking you know me or that we're friends or something". All Demeter wants to do is to be left alone with her thoughts for a while.

"I think I do know what I'm talking about. You never got to laugh or play with other kids, right? You just had trainings and missions. And, I do know you, at least part of you. Enough to understand some things. What I don't understand is why you think you're a monster".

She can't take it anymore. Her eyes turn black and instead of hitting the bag, she hits Logan, tackling him onto the mats, pinning him underneath her. "I am a monster". She strikes him twice in the face in quick succession. "I've killed people. I've killed children. I've taken their lives away from them". Tears are now falling down her face as she continues to hit him, her eyes beginning to turn into a shade of blue mixed with black. "I felt their hearts stop. I felt me taking their lives. I even took their pain away sometimes". She raises her hand as if she were going to hit him again, but instead slides off of him, still crying. "I felt their pain as they died. I felt how scared and alone they felt. I'm a fucking monster... I - I tried taking their pain away sometimes, but I hated doing that. It hurt. I felt everything they felt and it stayed with me. I killed them". She is shaking from crying so much, wrapping her arms around her tucked knees. She doesn't care about the pain in her ribs at the moment, she is too emotionally compromised. Her eyes are completely blue now.

Logan sits up, scooching closer to her and wrapping his arms around her, holding her in a tight embrace. It isn't like Logan to be all touchy feeling, but the situation calls for it. She tucks her head underneath his, and neither one of them care that blood from his face is getting on her. They just sit there, Logan holding Demeter as she cries into his shoulder, holding her tightly.

Her apologies come out as a soft murmur. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I was so angry. I'm, I'm so sorry Logan. Please forgive me". She buries her face even deeper into his shoulder, holding him more tightly. Even though she tried to capture him a few days ago, she feels the safest she has been in years in his arms. She knows he isn't going to punish her for crying and showing emotions, unlike her handlers.

"It's okay, kid. I forgive you. It's okay. I've got you". They sit there for ten more minutes, just holding each other while Demeter cries. "Hey" he says, stroking her head. "Hey, come on. I'm taking you to bed. You need to sleep. Come on". He helps her up and when he sees her legs wobble, he decides carrying her would be the best option. "Let's go". He carries her out of the gym and into his room which is on the same floor. "Here you go, kid". He lays her down and tucks her in. "Sleep".

"Whose room is this?" she asks, still sniffling from all of the crying she has done.

"It's mine".

"Are you staying?"

"No. Sleep here until your rested. I'll tell the professor that you two can meet tomorrow. Go to sleep".

Yawning and already half asleep,  she mumbles "night". Logan shuts the light off and closes the door on his way out. He has no idea how babysitting became his job, but he doesn't seem to mind this time. The two of them have a lot in common, most of it being bad. But he feels hopeful that she will get better in time. He has to believe. After all, he has gotten better.

*

Demeter wakes later that day, still feeling groggy from her emotional breakdown with Logan earlier. She can't believe she let herself cry, and she certainly can't believe there were no consequences for her crying. She looks down at her hands and notices there are a light shade of purple on and around her knuckles. ' _Great. Just fucking great'_. She gets up and uses his bathroom that he has in his room. She splashes water on her face and looks at herself in the mirror, not sure of who she is anymore. She makes herself look somewhat presentable and heads out to the kitchen.

She doesn't know how many people stay in this place, but she surely isn't expecting to see the boatful of kids roaming the hallways. She scurries her way into the kitchen, trying to avoid as many people as possible. Logan is seated a table, along with Rogue, and the white haired woman that was in the medical bay when she originally woke up the other day, and some hot looking guy with a headband next to Rogue. Logan stands and walks over to her to see how she is doing. "I'm fine, just hungry. Am I... Am I allowed food at this time?" She can see the quick flash of anger on Logan's face, but then it was gone.

"Oh course you can have food. You don't have to ask".

She isn't used to being able to eat whenever and whatever. She is used to her handlers telling her when she was allowed to eat and what she had to eat. Rogue waves at her and invites her over once she gets some food. Demeter makes a scrambled egg, half a piece of toast, and a glass of orange juice. She sits down at the table next to Logan, close enough to fill his body heat. She is shy and doesn't know what to say to everyone.

"Hey sugar, good to see you. How you doing?" Rogue is still as happy and as pleasant as she was before.

"Um, fine, I guess. H-how are you?"

"I'm just dandy. You're bruise is looking a little better". Rogue smiles sweetly at her and continues talking. "Since Logan here has no manners, let me introduce you to everyone. This hear is Ororo, or otherwise known as Storm. You met her the first day you were here". Demeter gave her a small, tight smile and a small wave. "And this uncharmin' fellow is Remy. Don't let his charm fool you, he's nothin' but trouble, huh Remy".

Remy gasp. "Me? Trouble? Nah. I'm notin' but a good ol' Cajun boy. It's nice to meet you mon ami".

"Um... It's nice to meet you too". Demeter gives him a slight hand wave and small smile.

"So mon ami, what are your plans tonight? Doin' any'ting fun?".

She can't help but like the Cajun's accent. She doesn't know what she is doing that night or if she is even allowed to do anything. She anxiously glances up at Logan, not knowing what to say.

"She's just staying in and watching a movie. Nothing exciting Cajun". Logan galnces down at her,  raising an eyebrow as if asking if that sounded okay. Demeter gratefully nods yes. She doesn't want to be around people tonight. Logan is okay, but she isn't ready for a whole group yet. She leans over and whispers to Logan if it is okay if she leaves and goes back to his room. He tells her yes and she says her goodbyes to everyone at the table. Logan follows her not long after.

Demeter makes it to the room first and snuggles up underneath the blankets. A few moments later Logan walks in and stands by the door. "Your eyes are still a hint of blue".

"Yeah, well, I guess it means I'm still a hint of sad than, huh". She rolls over in the bed to face away from him, not wanting him to see her sad. ' _Stupid eyes_ 'she thinks. She doesn't feel like talking to anyone, all she wants to do is hideaway and not be around people.

He catches the slight wince in her face from having to roll over on her hurt ribs."Sorry about hurtin' your stomach". He waits for a reply, but doesn't get one. "You know you're going to have to talk about it sometime, right? Maybe not to me, but probably with the professor. He wants to help you, you just have to let him in. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for ya, it's gonna to be difficult. It'll probably hurt some, but you can push through it and end up on the other side. You can get better". She still doesn't turn around to look at him and it feels like he's definitely dealing with a child. "Listen. You can sulk in here tonight if you want, but come tomorrow, you better be up and at em'. If you want to have a movie night tonight, you are welcome to join me. It'll be in the lounge area down here. I don't know who all is going to be there, but you're welcome to join. Night, kid". Logan turns around and shuts the light off, quietly closing his door on the way out.

Demeter lays in bed for another hour, alternating between crying and being silent. She decides to get up and join Logan for the movie night. She is a trained assassin, not a sulky teenager, she can do this. She tries to think of something happy to change her eye color from blue back to their normal brown. This is what makes her a good spy when she needs to be. She can change her emotions to fit the situation. She fixes her face and looks in the mirror to see her eyes are now their dark brown selves. ' _Good_ ' she thinks. She doesn't want to start off not being herself with these people, but what other choice does she have. Before she leaves the room, she gathers the comforter from Logan's bed to take with her. ' _Might as well be comfy, right'_.

She finds Logan in the lounge area by himself. "What, no one else likes movies around here" she asks.

"If you hadn't noticed, I'm a bit of a loner. I like to do things by myself. Most people don't join me for a lot of things". Logan takes another sip of his beer and glances up to see Demeter frozen in place. "What? What's wrong kid"? He's unable to help the exasperation bleeding through his voice. He's had a long day and doesn't know how much more feelings he can shovel out.

"D-do you not want me to join then? I can leave if you want. I'm sorry". She turns to leave, but stops when Logan tells her she can stay. She nervously takes a seat at the opposite end of the couch he is sitting on, and she wraps the blanket around herself, like a cocoon.

"I wouldn't have invited you if I didn't want you here".

"Thanks". Her voice is soft, not wanting to upset him. She figures old habits are hard to break. "What movie are we watching"?

"Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Have you ever seen it?" She shakes her head no. "Well, you are in for a treat. It's stupid action, but it does the job of just numbing the mind". They sit back and he start the film. Not even ten minutes into it, Demeter is pointing out all of the flaws and mistakes the characters were making as spies. She makes comments like 'that would never work in real life' or 'an explosion of that size wouldn't have happened' or 'he makes a terrible spy'. One comment in particular makes Logan freeze and struggle not to get up and destroy the people she worked for, right then and there. She mentions that if she made a mistake like the character in the movie did, her handlers would have whipped her and put her in solitary for a week. What he doesn't know is that solitary meant being alone in a room that ranged from being scorching hot to absolutely freezing. Temperature play was one of their favorite forms of punishment, but Logan doesn't need to know that.

They finished watching the film and Logan looks over to see Demeter yawning. "Alright, bedtime, kid". She gives him the most incredulous face she can muster, but before she is able to protest, he says "I'm serious. You're yawning and I don't feel like carrying your sleeping carcass up to your room if you fall asleep down here".

Her voice and demeanor shift into a more serious and soldier like tone. "I've had to be awake for 96 hours straight before. Trust me, I could manage staying awake".

"This isn't a mission".

She shakes her head, getting out of the daze she put herself in. "Right. Here's you comforter". She hands him the blanket back and adds "Good night, Logan". She travels the two flights of stairs to get to her room, and when she does, she crashes on the bed. She never guessed an emotional breakdown would consume so much energy.  She sleeps better than she had the night before.

*

Demeter wake the next morning feeling better than she had in a long time. She feels rested, but she isn't looking forward to her meeting with Xavier in a few hours. Out of habit she falls into her normal morning routine. She goes to the bathroom, brushes her teeth, dresses, and then heads down to the gym. It is still early so there are not many people floating around and no one is in the gym this early. ' _Lazy_ ' she thinks, reflecting on the lack of discipline around the mansion. She ends up running 15 miles, using the free weights, and practicing her hand-to-hand against the punching bag and doing some shadowboxing. One thing she does miss about her previous facility is the abundance of weapons. Here, there were no weapons lying around, just people. She has an itch to shoot a gun or throw a knife at something. Checking the time, she sees that she still has time to shower, eat, and make it on time to meet Xavier in his office.

The shower feels fantastic, despite only using it for seven minutes. She could have showered in two, but she decided to splurge on some hot water for once. As she wraps the towel around herself the thought hist her that she doesn't have any clothes. "Shit". She searches in the drawers in her room and finds a shirt that fits her, but the jeans are too big so she grabs a pair of shorts and rolls them up to fit.

Breakfast isn't bad, but she doesn't each much. She still feels odd eating when she isn't told she can and what to eat. She settles on a yogurt and a banana with a glass of chocolate milk. Her attitude is calm and somber, trying to stay as calm for the meeting as possible. She decides it was now or never and makes her way to Xavier's office. Knocking, she opens the door when she hears his voice say come in. "Hello".

"Good morning Demeter. How are you today?" He sounds quite chipper for it being early.

"I am well". She looks around his office, taking in her surroundings. Quickly realizing she forgot her manners, she follows up with "how are you?"

"I am doing well. Come, have a seat". Demeter walks over to the seat in front of his desk and sits down. "How are you getting along here? Is everyone treating you okay?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Everyone here is fine. Logan has been very helpful and Rogue seems nice".

He can tell there was something else on her mind, something she wants to ask. "Is there something you want to ask?"

She ends up blurting out "Are there any weapons here?"

Xavier is taken-back by the question, but soon understanding dawns on him. "Do you miss it?"

"I miss the routine. I miss my knives. Oddly enough, I even miss firing a gun. Weapons were an important part of my life, of my job. I feel naked without them, at least my knives. The gun I can do without, but I like my knives".

He nods his head in understanding. "It must be difficult not having them with you. Let's see how everything goes today and how you're feeling after and then we can discuss weaponry, yes?"

"Sounds fair". She knows she won't be getting any weapons any time soon. "Speaking of my old job, they might be coming for me. Think about it. I'm their lost weapon, their best assassin. They're not just going to roll over and forget about me. I know their secrets, I know how to get in and out of their base. They'll want me back, and they won't ask nicely" she says all matter-of-fact.

"I have considered the possibility that they would come for you. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. If they do come, I assure you we will be ready. Now, let's get started, shall we?"

"Sure. What exactly are we going to do?"

"First I want you to try and relax. This is a safe space. What I would like for you to do is to tell me everything that you can remember about your life and what seems to be confusing you or jumbling your thoughts up".

Taking a deep breath she begins telling him about herself. "The furthest thing back I remember is waking up in their medical unit with a bandage on my head. The doctor said I hurt my head and that's why it was bandaged. Clearly it was because of that damn microchip. I remember being told that I was special and that I could help them. They asked me if I remembered anything, but I couldn't, and that seemed to satisfy them. I was given a room and a schedule. I had to follow that schedule, I had to follow orders. I always had the need to follow orders, but I guess that was mainly due to the chip. I never truly understood why I had that need until you told me". Taking another deep breath in and then releasing, and repeating the process again, she continues on with her story. "I remember all of the training that I went through. If I failed a training I was beat and put into solitary. I hated solitary. They would randomly switch it from being scorching hot to freezing cold. They loved temperature play. I remember each of my missions and kills". She pauses thinking about each life that she had taken over the years. "I remember mouthing  off a few times and regretting it. Any time I mouthed off they would handcuff me to bar or beam of some sort and beat me, burn me, spit on me, and..." she trails off thinking about the other thing they would do to her. It wasn't like she was a virgin, but it was never consensual.

"Demeter. It's okay. You're safe. I'm here with you". Xavier is reassuring, so she continues on.

"They started to rape me once the physical punishments weren't being that effective.... I only mouthed off one other time before I learned my lesson. I remember everyone's feelings. Everyone that I killed. I felt them die, I felt their life drain away from them. I would sometimes take their feelings away. I tended to do that more with the kids. They were so scared and afraid and in so much pain. The shitty thing about that is, once I take a person's pain away, it's stuck with me unless I make someone else feel it. Even still, there is always some portion of pain that stays and I still have their memories. I can still hear the one's I took my time with  scream for me to stop. They begged me, but I didn't. I had orders and I followed them. The best moments of killing were the real scumbags of the earth, the ones who I had to sleep with to gain information from. I enjoyed killing them". A slight smirk appears on her face.

Clearing his throat, Xavier snaps her out of her reverie. "What seems to be confusing to you now?"

"I... I don't know. I guess just everything… Was it really me that did that or someone else? Am I a monster or was I just a weapon the monster pointed? Were my feelings genuine during those moments? Was that voice in the back of my head my subconscious telling me what I was doing was wrong? And what are my fucking nightmares about?"

"Nightmares?" he asks curiously.

"Yes, my nightmares. I've had the same one for the last fifteen years. It is of this girl screaming for her mother and father as she's being taken from them. I've never been able to finish that dream. It always cuts off at the same point".

"I see". Xavier ponders over the thought for a moment. "Do you think that nightmare might actually be a memory that was trying to make its way back to you? That maybe you were that little girl?

Demeter appears dumbfounded at that statement. "That thought actually never occurred to me. But then again, why would it? I had a microchip in my head. It makes sense though. The girl looks to be about five years old which would have been the age I was taken at".

"I want to try and help you recover those lost memories. I will warn you that it might be uncomfortable and it might hurt a little".

"That's fine. I've been through worse than a little pain. Let's get this done and over with".

"Okay. I need you to lie down on the couch over there", he pointed to the left side of the room where there was a couch. "It will be more comfortable than the chair". He waits until she is laying down before continuing. "I'm going to probe your brain. I am going to search for the wall that was built by them in your brain".

Demeter cuts in. "Electroshock. They took my memories away by electroshock".

"I'm so sorry. That does help me though. Are you ready?" he asks.

"Yes".

"Okay, on the count of three I am going in your mind. One. Two. Three". Demeter grips the couch arms, squeezing at the feeling of Xavier searching her brain. Logan and Xavier were right, it does hurt. She grits her teeth and squirms around on the couch. She can't go anywhere, she is trapped. Thankfully they didn't take that many years worth of memories away. It is fairly easy for Xavier to find that place in her mind. "I need you to help me break through this barrier". Demeter tries to focus her attention inward, catching up to where Xavier is. After what feels like an hour, but is only a few minutes, the floodgates are open and the memories begin to wash through.

Demeter screams at the sudden intrusion, it i painful. All of the memories that were taken from her are right there. She remembers playing with her parents, remembers the couple friends she had, her dog that would snuggle up to her. She also remembers the night she was taken. The memory hurts, causing her to thrash on the couch. The strange men were people that she worked with for years, people she went on missions with. They came into her house, grabbed her, and then shot her parents dead. She lets out a loud "NO" at the memory. Jolting awake and back into consciousness from that memory. Demeter feels like she can't breathe. She's having a panic attack. Xavier attempts to calm her down, but it isn't working. "I can't... I can't. Breath... Help". She begins to hyperventilate, trying to suck in as much air as she can. It isn't working. Quickly, she gets up and is able to get out "I need air" and runs from the room. She continues running out the back door, through the yard, and ends up by the lake that is 500 feet away from the house. She stops there, trying to catch her breath, trying to breathe.

There are a few kids, probably no older than fourteen, by the lake. They run over to her and ask if she's okay, if she needs help. Demeter fiercely shakes her head no, waving at the kids to get away. "Get away from me, now". Her voice is harder, but still panicked. When they don't leave and insist that they help her, Demeter looks at them with her eyes turning black. "Get. Away. NOW". That sends them running away in the opposite direction. She doesn't want anyone to be there if there is a chance she might lose control of herself. She is bent over, trying to catch her breath when she hears someone in the distance yelling her name. She isn't sure if it is real or in her head. She grabs her head and squeezes, yelling as if she were trying to yell the pain away from her. Her eyes were a mixture of black and blue; she is angry and hurt all at the same time.

Logan is there a few seconds later, sliding to his knees in front of her, making sure she is okay. "Hey. Hey, kid, listen to me. I need you to focus on me, okay? That's right, look at me. Just focus on me, that's right".

Her head is still reeling with painful memories while she her brain tries to piece everything together. It almost hurts as much as Xavier's brain blasts. She thrashes and tries to pull away from Logan, but he just grabs her wrists and holds her in place. "No, get away from me! Let go of me". When he won't let go, something in her brain finally snaps. She has to get her anger out, and unfortunately Logan is the only available target. Thank heavens he heals. She kicks him in the stomach, causing him to let go of her wrists. She quickly punches him in the face and kicks him again and again as he topples over on the ground. "Just stop. Stop trying to help me. Don't you see what they made me into? Look at me, I'm a fucking monster made to kill people". She keeps kicking him, but now she is using her powers to make it feel like each time he is being hit by a sledgehammer. She gets in a good kick to his face, almost knocking him out. She takes the opportunity to get on top of him and is now punching him. "They killed my parents. They killed them to get to me".

Somewhere in her mind she knows that Logan isn't the bad guy and that she shouldn't be doing this. On the other hand, Logan knows that she needs this, knows that she needs to release all of that pent up rage, especially after finding out what happened to her parents. He will heal, he knows that. He just lays there, taking the beating and watching the tears stream down her face. With one last punch, she lets out a loud, angry yell, collapsing next to Logan on the ground. She curls up into the fetal position and is full on sobbing now. She is crying because of her memories, her lack of control of herself, and what she's just done to Logan. He lays there letting his bones heal after that brutal beating. ' _Damn, she can pack a punch_ '. He can hear Xavier coming out into the backyard, making his way towards them. Once he feels like his ribs are healed, he sits up and gets to his hands and knees next to her. "Hey" he says, putting one hand on her shoulder, rubbing in soft calming circles. "Let's get you inside, huh, kid"?

She shakes her head no, still in the fetal position and crying. "No. Please, just please leave me alone. I can't - I can't do this. Everything hu-hurts".

"I know it hurts. I've felt that pain. Maybe not all of the pain you're feeling, but I've felt the pain of old memories flooding into the brain. It doesn't feel good. It's overwhelmin'. And right now, everything on _me_ kinda hurts. So let's just go inside and deal with it all later. That sounds like a plan to me". He picks her up and cradles her in his arms, her head pressing into his shoulder as far as it will go.

They come across Xavier on their way back, and he and Logan have a mental conversation about what happened. Xavier nods and turns back to go inside, Logan with Demeter right behind him. He wonders how bad his face must look with his blood all over it. Oh well, that wasn't the most important thing right now. To him, taking care of Demeter is the most important thing. He carries her inside and immediately takes her to his room. No use dragging her through the whole mansion to her room for everyone to see. He lays her on the bed and gets in next to her. He pulls the covers over them and she hugs him tightly, not letting go as she continues to cry. Logan knows that she will have to talk to Xavier tomorrow about what happened and to sort out everything in her brain. Like he said, he's been there, and he knows that Xavier will help her. But for now, she just presses herself completely against Logan, crying herself to sleep as he holds her tightly and rubs her back up in down. They both fall asleep this way. Demeter trying to go through everything in her head and just letting herself feel everything. Logan thinking about how he might actually care for this woman that has stumbled into his life. He won't say it is love or anything like that, but he feels a connection to her and feels like he wants to get to know her better. But for now, they sleep.

*

Demeter wake feeling like she is being engulfed in flames, not knowing where all of this heat is coming from. She slowly opens her eyes and realizes that Logan is still pressed up against her with his arms around her. No wonder she feels so hot. She takes the opportunity to watch him sleep She can see his eyes moving behind his eyelids, dreaming of something. If she really wants to, she can use her powers to find out what he was dreaming about, but she figures that is an invasion of privacy. After all, he has been so nice to her since the moment she arrived at the mansion. She starts taking in all of his features; his never ending five o'clock shadow, the way his breath constantly smells of beer and cigars, his messy and fluffy hair, and his muscular physique. He is attractive in that one-night stand sort of way, but he seems more like a _friend_. She doesn't know him well enough to feel comfortable doing anything like that with him, nor does she trust herself enough not to treat him as a mark or mission, the way she has with many men in the past. ' _The_ _past'_ she thinks, as if it were so long ago, when in reality it is only three days. Her body tenses up thinking about the past couple of days, her old employers and her old life. So much has changed in only a few days.

Logan stirs and opens his eyes to see what is going on. "Hey, how ya feelin'"?

"Alright I guess. Just exhausted. And hot".

It takes him a minute to realize that his arms and legs are wrapped around her."Oh, uh, sorry". He untangles himself but doesn't move away. "Do you feel any better now"?

"Sort of. I just… Everything is jumbled up here now" she says, pointing at her head. "It's all so confusing. I didn't know it would hurt this much. I just... I don't know who I am anymore". She inhales a deep breath, holding it for four seconds, and then releases. "Three days ago I was an assassin for some company. I captured mutants to be experimented on. I did bad things. As bad as it sounds, I at least knew who I was. I had a purpose in life. But now... Now I don't know who I am or what I'm even doing anymore".

"Whadaya want to do?" he asks.

"I don't know. I know that I don't want to kill people anymore. Not that I wouldn't if I were in that kind of a situation, I've just done enough of it to fill my quota for a lifetime. I don't want to capture people anymore. Other than that, I don't know what I want. I'm not even sure I know how to want for myself". She makes a pained face at how unsure of her life she is.

"At least that's a start. Take it day by day. Figure out who you are and then what you want. You have all of the time in the world, kid".

"Thanks, Logan". She shuffles closer to him again, wrapping her arms around him. "I mean it, thank you for everything. Thank you for not killing me yet, or kicking me out. And thank you for dealing with me during these stupid emotional breakdowns. And thank you for letting me take my anger out on you". Her voice almost drops to a whisper on that last part.

"It's okay, and you're welcome. I want to help you. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to do it, but I do want to". He wraps one arm around her, hugging her back. "You do have one hell of temper though. That you need to get under control".

"I know. I just don't know how yet. It was easy before. They would just give me an order and I would follow it. My emotions never really played a part into my life. Now I don't know what to do with them".

"You can start by admitting that you have them and that they're real for you. I think the professor would probably be better at talking about this part with you. Although..." he trails off into thought.

"What? Although what, Logan?" she asks, looking up at him.

"Although, I think I have a way to help with your anger situation. It's not a permanent fix, but it might help you while you sort everything out".

"Well, what is it Houdini?"

"I think you should come to me when you're feeling angry or feel like you might lose control. Each time you've gotten angry, you seem to come down from it after you've beat the shit out of me. Which by the way, you pack a mean fuckin' swing, kid".

Demeter gives him a shy, uneasy smile. "Um, thanks I think".

"I think whenever you're angry you should come find me and we'll go to the gym, and you can work out your aggression there with me. I'm gonna start fightin' back though, but that might get you to calm down quicker. You seem to come back down after a fight".

"What if we're out in public?"

"We'll cross that road when we come to it. But for now, when you're here, come find me and we'll go to the gym, okay?"

"Alright" she says reluctantly. "Sounds like a plan".

"We might even get to find out if you would have been able to capture me or not".

She sits up, giving him the 'are you fucking kidding me' look. "Um, excuse you. I would have captured you if dick face and red didn't show up. Actually no, scratch that. I would have captured you if the professor hadn't been there. If I recall, you were all on the floor writhing in pain. I was that close to getting you" she speaks, pinching her thumb and index finger close together, "but then the professor had to go and do his mind blast thingy".

"I have been on the receiving end of those blasts - they are not fun".

"No they are not. But I definitely would have captured you if it weren't for him". She is actually smiling now. It feels good to be able to joke around a little.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll see. Well, I don't know about you, but I am starvin'. How about we get some food and then have another movie night?"

"Food and movies sounds perfect". She pauses for a minute before speaking again. "Would you mind if I brought the blanket out with us for the movie?" She looks nervous and shy asking.

"Wouldn't mind at all".

They get up and go out to scour the kitchen for food. They heat up some left over Chinese food and pick a movie to watch. Neither one of them wants anything that requires a lot of thought, so they decide upon "Big Trouble in Little China". She curles up next to Logan with the blanket draped over them. Halfway through the movie, she drifts off to sleep, thinking about how this place might actually work out for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you there was going to be pain and tears! Please stick with me through it - I promise, it will get better!


	3. Secrets Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demeter sneaks around the mansion, and the X-Men's secrets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter. Much like Demeter, I love exploring new places. 
> 
> As always, if I missed anything in the tags, please let me know.

It is day four at the mansion and she is on her way to meet Xavier to have their second session together. She has all of her memories, but they are still scattered about in her head. She isn't particularly excited about someone being in her head again. but she at least gets to go to the medical unit after this and get checked out - she wants to know how her ribs are and is she can get her stomach wrapped. She arrives at Xavier's office and knocks, still feeling too weird to just walk in unannounced. She goes in and closes the door behind her.

He looks up from the book he is reading and greets her. "Hello Demeter, how are you today"?

"I'm, uh, I'm okay... How are you"? She still isn't good with the whole small talk or chit chat thing.

"I am well. Please, have a seat on the sofa", he gestures over to her left. She sits down and he moves over to where she is and stares at her like he is waiting for her to speak.

The silence is unnerving. She doesn't know if he is looking into her head or what he wants her to say. "Um... So what are we doing today"?

"I'm going to help you organize and unscramble your thoughts. But first, I'd like you to tell me about yesterday, if you wouldn't mind".

Of course she minds, but she figures she might as well tell him. Logan said she should talk to the professor, to trust him, so she will. "I, um... it... it was too much". She automatically flinched at admitting failure, still waiting for the strike to come, but it never does. When she quickly realizes he isn't going to hit her, she licks her lips and continues speaking. "I, um, I remembered my parents and the night they... the night... the night they died because of me". She trails off, thinking about that memory.

"It wasn't your fault Demeter. Please know that. You couldn't have done anything to stop them".

"I know, but it still hurts. It hurts being able to have that memory now. It hurts feeling things. I didn't need to feel before, I just needed to do. Don't get me wrong, I still felt things, but they were controlled. Nothing was over the top for me, and if they were, I was punished. I learned not to feel. Now with these stupid memories and that godforsaken chip out of my head, it's like feelings central in here".

"I'm sure it must be difficult having to experience all of that at once".

"It does. It sucks and I don't like it. I know it's better that I know the truth now and all, but sometimes I wish I could go back to not knowing, not feeling. I hate not being in control of myself. I just... I just want the pain to stop".

Xavier looks sorry for her. She hates that look. "I know it can't be enjoyable, but at least you know the truth. And I know if might not mean much, but it will get better in time. The pain will lessen. Maybe once everything is sorted out up there, you will feel a little better. Is that why you ran out yesterday, because of the pain?"

She looks down at her feet, not wanting to look him in the eyes as she describes her failures, her feelings. "Yes. It was overwhelming - all those memories, the pain, the thought of someone being in my head again, just everything. I was overwhelmed and I panicked. I felt like I couldn't breathe, which just made everything worse". She finally looks up at him and sees that he has nothing but empathy in his eyes. "And then I ran out to the lake and snapped at a couple of kids there. And then Logan ran out and tried to calm me down. I panicked again and lashed out at him. I felt bad. I knew in the back of my head that he wasn't there to hurt me, that he was just there to help, but I couldn't stop. I was so angry".

Xavier nods his head in understanding. He knows how hard it is for her to contain her emotions now. He is glad that Logan was there to help. "It's okay that you panicked. It was actually to be expected. This is all new for you, and I can understand how that would be overwhelming. On the bright side though, you didn't hurt those kids that were at the lake. You waited until they were gone before you let go. I am very proud of you for that. That took some self-control, whether you realize it or not".

She never thought of it that way. "I, uh, I guess... I was just glad that it was Logan that showed up and not anyone else".

"Yes. He does seem to have a way of helping you calm down, doesn't he".

"He lets me beat the shit out of him until I feel like I can't anymore. He told me I really need to learn how to control my temper. I'm trying, I swear to you that I am. It's just hard. It's going to take some getting used to, that's all. But he did come up with a way to help me, at least for a little while".

"Oh, and what way is that?" The professor is genuinely curious to know what idea Logan thought up for her.

"He said for me to find him whenever I'm angry and we'll go to the gym and work it out. Like he said, I seem to do better after I hit something, so it makes sense. He said he was going to start hitting back, which will actually be good".

"Hmm.. I see. Well, hopefully we'll think of something less violent to help you along the way".

"Not much for violence, huh doc" she asks, a smirk playing on her lips.

"No, I don't like violence. Never have. I suppose I never will. I have no doubt that Logan will help you though. He seems to be taking a liking to you. You should feel honored - he doesn't like anyone that much".

"Honored it is then" she says, clasping her hands together. "Now, getting down to business for today. I think we should get this show on the road, don't you".

"If you feel ready, then sure. I need you to relax and help me guide you through your head. Ready? One. Two. Three". On the third count, he is in her head. She clutches at the couch cushions, gritting her teeth, but it isn't nearly as bad as yesterday. It ends up taking them three hours to sort out all of the memories and feelings. Demeter is a sweaty mess by the time it finally ends. "How are you feeling, Demeter?" he asked.

"I feel better. Things seem to be in their right spots up there, so that's good. Now all I have to focus on is getting my emotions under control. Yay me".

Xavier smiles at her sarcasm. "No wonder Logan likes you. You both have the gift of sarcasm. But I am glad you are feeling better. The emotions will take time, but you have that here".

Demeter feels accepted by him, by Logan, by everyone here. She feels a ping in her heart, and decides that this is what acceptance feels like. "Thank you". She gives him a small smile, but it is better than nothing.

"No need to thank me, it's what I'm here for".

"So... um... I, uh, I have a question. And please answer honestly".

"Of course, Demeter, what is it"?

"I was wondering, now that my memories are intact and stuff, and I'm not trying to kill everyone, how long am I allowed to stay here?" She looks anxious and worried, afraid that he might tell her to get out today.

A smile spreads across his face as he answers her. "You can stay here for as long as you'd like. There is no time limit on how long you can stay. You're welcomed to live out all of your years here if you'd like. You are more than welcomed to be here".

"Really?" She can't keep the hint of excitement and shock out of her voice. "Thank you. Seriously, thank you so much". She is beaming at him with glee, but that look soon turns into one of curiosity and anxiousness as she has another question to ask. "That um, that brings me to my next question. Are there any other clothes I could wear? I'm only asking because the pants in the room I'm staying in are too big and I didn't know if it would be too much trouble to get a pair that fit?"

"Of course you can get clothes that fit. I'll see if Rogue can take you out to the store today. Never be afraid to ask for something. You never have to be afraid here". He hopes that one day she will understand that. He knows it will take a long time for her to truly be comfortable, but he hopes she will eventually be happy here and with herself.

"Thank you, Xavier". She looks around and back at the door behind her. "Are we done for today, or do you have more freaky mind tricks to do?" She feels comfortable enough around him to joke, especially about his powers.

"No, no, we're done. Again, if there's anything you need, feel free to ask".

"Thanks". She stands, waiving at him, telling him to have a good rest of his day, and then leaves. As soon as she steps outside his office, she wants to go exploring again - the medical unit can wait. She was interrupted by the professor, Jean, and dickhead last time. But now? She is free to roam, and roam she will do. She knows there has to be more to this place, because Jean and Scott were wearing matching outfits the night they ~~captured~~ , rescued her. It isn't like matching track outfits, but they were black leather outfits, like a weird creepy club they were in. Something is definitely going on, and she wants to find out.

She goes to the door leading to the basement, figuring she might as well work her way from the bottom up. Looking around to make sure the coast is clear, she opens the door and makes her way down. Demeter switches the lights on once she is at the bottom and is disappointed to see nothing but a regular looking basement. It has storage boxes around, an old punching bag, more washing and drying machines, an old stove, a bathroom, a couch and tv, and a closet. It looks like an old rented floor that was abandoned in the 90's. It is dark and dreary down there, despite the lights being on. "Creepy" she mutters to herself.

Because she ~~is~~ was a spy, she has the instinct to look for secret doors or hidden passageways. She searches the closets first and finds nothing. Next, the walls. She goes wall by wall, searching from high to low. No one can accuse of her of not being thorough. She gets to the second to last wall before she feels a change in emotions, sensing someone is behind her. She does't like that someone is able to sneak up on her - that requires training. She quickly looks around for something to use as a weapon and finds an old baseball. ' _It'll do_ 'she thinks as she grabs it and turns, throwing the ball at the figure standing on the other side of the room. Whoever it is ducks and rolls, and quickly throws a glowing card at her that explodes, sending her back against the wall. She is dazed for a few seconds, and before she knows it, the figure is straddling her, pinning her to the floor. "Hello mon ami" he says pleasantly.

"Remy? What are you doing?"

"I was lookin' for ya. Rogue supposed to take you shopping or somethin' and she asked me to look for you. Here you are. What you doin' lookin' and knockin' on all the walls down here?"

"I was, uh, just looking around. I was told I could explore, and explore I was doing. You can, uh, you can get off me now".

He looks down at her and smiles. "The lady's wish is my command". He stands up and offers her a hand. She takes it and he pulls her off the ground. "Those were some quick reflexes, love".

"First off, not your love. Secondly, I know. You had some quick reflexes too. And how did you sneak up on me? I know I hit at least three creaky steps on the way down here". She crosses her arms over her chest, one eyebrow raised, looking at him awaiting an explanation.

"I use to be a thief. I'm quiet when I wanna be". He flashes her that cunning smirk of his.

"And the glowing card of death? What was that?"

He lets out a laugh at that. "Glowing card o' death, eh? Dat's my power. I can kinetically charge objects and dey explode. I just like my deck o' cards, is all".

"I see..." she ponders it for a second before continuing. "So, you could technically charge a person and have them explode, right?" She is genuinely curious about that. He could be a potentially huge threat and murderer if he wanted to be.

"Yes, technically I could, but I wouldn't. I only ever charge inanimate objects, like my cards".

"Interesting..." They just stand there staring at each other for what seemed like minutes. Demeter doesn't trust anyone that can sneak up on her, so she secretly uses her power to pry a little. She doesn't look that far into his feelings, but she definitely finds something interesting - he has a thing for Rogue. Also, she sees the secret passage way, something called a danger room, and the people known as the X-Men. "Well, this has been fun, but I should probably go find Rogue and go shopping. Nice running into you, Remy".

"You as well, mon ami. Let me walk you upstairs. Rogue's waiting in da entrance". They walk up the steps, Demeter in front of Remy. Once they are up on the first floor, they spot Rogue. "Have fun ladies. Get me sometin' nice".

"Bug off, Remy". Rogue waives him off and turns her attention to Demeter. "You ready for a shopping trip, sugar?"

Demeter thinks she will never get used to the nicknames people are calling her - sugar, kid, mon ami. But, Rogue is nice and she decides to not let it bother her too much. "Yeah, I'm ready". She thinks about it for a second and quickly stops. "Wait".

"What is it?"

"I don't have money on me. I never needed money unless it was for a mission, and I didn't need any for my mission with Logan. I can't buy anything".

"Oh, Meter, don't worry about it. This is on us. This here is a school and gets grants from the government and stuff to provide kids with supplies, includin' clothing".

' _Meter, huh. That's a new nickname'_ she considers. "Okay... Only if you're sure".

"Good, now let's go do some shopping".

*

Four long, grueling hours later and Demeter and Rogue finally return back to the mansion with bags upon bags of clothes. Demeter looks as if she was in a battle for years, and Rogue looks as if she fought Demeter in said battle. Remy greets them as they walk in, jabbing at them about how they look. They both turn in unison and glare at him. Demeter uses her powers to make him feel a quick pain in his stomach. They take the bags up to Demeter's room and she turns to Rogue, hugging her and says their goodbyes. It was a long four hours of going back and forth on what to buy, what looked best on Demeter, the cost, what Demeter's style was, etc... Rogue was tempted to drain her of her energy at least three times during their adventure, but didn't. Each learned a lot about the other in the battle of retail, and each needed some time to recuperate. Demeter crashes face first into the bed and clonks out for two hours.

When she wakes, Demeter puts her newly acquired clothes away and throws on a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. She doesn't need anything sexy to sleep in, she isn't trying to impress anyone, so comfy clothes it is. It is around 6pm and her stomach is growling at her to put food into her belly. She makes her way down to the kitchen to make a sandwich and have a glass of milk. She still isn't used to being able to eat whenever and whatever, but she is slowly getting accustomed to it. No one appears to be around, so she decides to look into that secret passage way she saw in Remy's head. ' _Thank God he felt emotions in there_ '. She makes her away through the first floor, finding the space she saw in his head that opens up if a certain book is taken out. ' _How cliché, using a bookcase as a hidden door_ '. She pulls the book out and the bookcase slides open, revealing a hidden room. She steps inside and the bookcase closes behind her.

The room appears to be a computer or research/file room. "Well, let's see where door number one leads" she says to herself as she opens the door leading out of the room. It leads to a long hallway that has openings on either side. "Hmmm, which one to choose". Deciding to go left, she marches down that side of the hall, and then looks down the hallway that it leads to. She goes right and it leads her to a medical unit. She goes back into the hallway and the entire way down it to the opposite end. That door leads her into some kind of control room. "What is this place?" She flicks the lights on and putts around, looking for anything that will give meaning to where she is. She notices there is a glass wall, overlooking a huge arena looking thing. She remembers Remy's memory and knows it is the danger room. "So that's what a danger room looks like. Huh".

Demeter leaves and goes back to original hallway she was in. "One side down, another to go". She strolls down the hallway and starts with the right side. There is no door at the end of the hall, but it leads to another hall. ' _How big is this fucking place, dear God almighty_ '. This underground lair of theirs is huge. She follows the hallway and passes by a set of lockers that have people's names on them: Wolverine, Storm, Jean, Cyclops, Gambit, Nightcrawler, Rogue, and Beast. "The fuck kind of names are these?" Before she can do anything else, she hears voices approaching from the hallway she just came from. Panicking, she jumps into Logan's locker, not knowing what else to do. The voices got closer and she can hear the professor, Logan, Scott, and Jean talking. ' _Shit'_. They are in the hallway now, making their way down. As they pass by, Logan sniffs the air, stopping him in his tracks. The professor asks him what it is, and he tells them that something smells off. He tilts his head to the side, using his animal-like hearing. He turns towards the lockers, and Demeter feels herself tense up. She knows she's been caught. Her thoughts are running wild and before she knows it, Logan rips his locker door off its hinges, reaches in, grabbing Demeter and throwing her across to the wall behind him.

The professor, Scott, and Jean all just stand there and look at them. Logan has his claws out ready for a fight before he even realizes it is Demeter. Demeter picks herself up off the ground and look at Logan, her eyes looking a little black. "What the fuck was that for" she growls at him.

Logan immediately retracts his claws and looks at Demeter as she watches him in partial terror. "I'm sorry, kid. I didn't know it was you". He puts his hands up in a nonthreatening manner as if she were a feral animal, slowly moving over to where Demeter is, looking at him like she doesn't know if he is going to attack her or not. "It's okay, kid, I ain't gonna hurt ya, alright. How's about you change those black eyes back to their normal browns, eh?" He finally makes it over to her where she is still looking confused and unsure of what is happening. He puts his hands on her shoulders and gently rubs them. Her guard immediately drops, and she hugs him, her eyes turning back to brown. Everyone is still staring at them, well, they are really staring at her, hoping she will give them an explanation as to what she is doing here.

She turns her head and looks at the three of them watching her and Logan. She pulls back, straightening herself out. "I, um… I was just, you know… looking around" She gives them her best don't-kill-me face and shrugs her shoulders.

Xavier smiles at her, thinking how funny it is that she looks like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar. "It's okay, Demeter. If you don't mind me asking, how exactly did you know about this lower level and where to enter it?"

Demeter really doesn't want to admit reading Remy, and she just sort of looks down at her feet shifting her balance from foot to foot, and biting her bottom lip. Everyone has their arms crossed except Xavier, and they are all looking at her expectantly. "Well, kid?" Logan asks, nudging her arms a bit.

"I didn't mean to. I mean, I did mean to, but I also didn't. I was just curious as to what you all were hiding, and I was cut off from exploring the other day" she glances up at Scott and glares at him for a couple of seconds before looking back down at her feet.

"What did you do, Demeter?" The slight shift in the professor's voice is small, but noticeable. He went from caring and affectionate to curious and slightly worried.

"I might have read Remy's emotions and memories when he found me in the basement earlier". Her voice becomes quieter and quieter as she speaks.

This time, it is Scott who spoke first. "You did what? That is a complete invasion of someone's privacy and personal life. Why would you do that to him". His voice is accusing and his posture on the offensive as he takes a threatening step toward her.

Demeter takes a step back, but doesn't run. She knows she should be punished for what she's done. Her handlers would have beat her, probably raped her, and definitely would have thrown her in solitary for two weeks. Logan steps in front of her, shielding her from Scott. "How's about you back off, bub".

"How about _you_ back off, Logan. She invaded Remy's head. As much as I don't like the guy, he still deserves his privacy".

Demeter looks at the professor, he eyes desperately pleading sorry. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please". The 'please don't punish me' is left out, but the professor knows what she is trying to convey.

"Enough" he says, scooting in between Logan and Scott with his wheelchair. Scott opens his mouth to protest, but Xavier holds up his hand to silence him. He turns toward Demeter and speaks. "Demeter, I'm not mad that you roamed around and found this part of the mansion. That's okay. You were going to find out eventually. However, what you did with Remy was wrong. You should tell him what you did and apologize to him, okay?"

Somehow she makes herself seem even smaller than what she already was. Logan looks down at her and is amazed, but also saddened to see her like this. He hates seeing her scared or sad. He isn't particularly sure why he cares, but he finds himself caring regardless. She nods her head at the professor and practically runs out of there. She can hear the others say something as she leaves, but she is unable make out what it is. She opens up the bookcase door and walks out into the normal part of the mansion. She sets off to find Remy to apologize.

*

Demeter eventually finds Remy on the basketball court. She pulls him aside and asks if she can talk to him for a minute. "Sure mon ami, what is it?"

"I need to tell you something, about earlier. About when we were in the basement".

"Look, if it's to tell me you have a crush on me, you could just kiss me" he says, smirk on his face.

"What? No! That was definitely not what I was going to say". She makes a disgusted face at him, like she's just eaten something sour.

"Then what is it?"

"I needed to tell you that I used my powers on your earlier". He gives her a confused face as she continues on. "I felt something was up with all of you, and I used my powers to read your emotions, and therefore, your memories. I saw the danger room and x-men, and I also saw how you feel about Rogue. I am so sorry for what I did. Please forgive me".

 Remy stares at her for a few minutes, not really knowing what to say. He clears his throat. "Well I guess dat makes us even den, don't it".

That is definitely not what she expected him to say. "What do you mean, 'we're even'?'

"Well, the way I see it, I used my power on you first by throwing dat charged card at you. You seemed to forgive me for dat, so I s'pose I can forgive you for dis".

Her mouth hangs open in shock, not knowing how else to react. "Really? You forgive me? Just like that?" She can't believe it.

"Just like that, mon ami". He flashes her his charming smile and tells her it is okay. "Trust me, I've done a few things in my life that have needed some forgivin'".

She thanks him and walks away, still not believing what just happened. ' _These people are like fucking saints_ 'she thinks. She still feels like she betrayed their trust, so she  travels to Logan's room to apologize to him as well. After all, she did hide in his locker.

*

Demeter spots Logan in the kitchen grabbing a beer from the fridge. "Hey, Logan" she says, walking up behind him.

"Hey, kid" he replies, popping the cap off of his beer with his finger.

"Who needs bottle openers when we have you". She looks so awkward and embarrassed. "So, I um, I wanted to apologize for hiding in your locker earlier. I panicked when I heard people coming down the hall, and that was the closest hiding place".

He gives her a bemused look. "It's okay. No harm, no foul, right? I'm sorry I scared you".

She looks bashful, remembering seeing his claws for the first time. "Yeah, well… I guess I kinda had it coming… So those were the claws that I read about in the file".

"File?"

"Yeah, you know, the file I had on you when I was trying to capture you. That file".

Giving her a look of understanding, he nods his head. "Yeah. Again, sorry you had to see them".

"It's okay. Like I said, I probably had it coming. I shouldn't have been hiding".

"Well, now you know our little secret. We're doing a danger room session later, want to watch?"

"Sure!" She is excited getting to see them all in action and finally see what this danger room does. It will also be a good learning opportunity for her - she will get to observe their cohesion as a team, and also their individual styles in battle.

"Okay. Meet us down there in two hours".

"Okay". She can barely contain the grin on her face.

*

Two hours later, Demeter is up in the control room of the danger room with Xavier. "So, how exactly does this work?" she asks him.

"I can control what the setting is and add in variables at any time. It acts as a virtual simulation. There are real dangers in there when activated. For instance, there are machines that shoot lasers at them. It only stings them, it doesn't permanently hurt them. I can add in flying discs and other sort of objects into the equation as well". Xavier speaks into the microphone, telling the team they are getting started. "Watch". He starts up the simulation.

Demeter watches in awe as the room suddenly looks like a forest. The team is split into two groups. The first being Scott, Jean, Remy, and Ororo. The other team is Logan, Rogue, Beast, and Nightcrawler, whom Demeter learned his first name is actually Kurt, and that Beast's is Hank. The simulation is apparently a giant game of capture the flag, but in this game, they can use their powers. Demeter learns that Scott is a strategist; he is able to assess a situation and quickly call out plays. Jean isn't a physical fighter, but relies heavily on her brain. Remy is agile and extremely flexible like a gymnast. ' _So that's how he was able to dodge that baseball in the basement'_. He also seems fairly skilled in hand-to-hand combat. Ororo relies heavily on her abilities as well, but has some skill in hand-to-hand. Rogue is pretty decent at hand-to-hand combat and she loves to fly. Beast is more calculated in his moves, but he still fights like an animal. Kurt relies heavily on his ability to teleport himself. He also likes to stick to high places and in the shadows. Logan is the best fighter of them all. He uses his heightened senses to track the other team and can have take each of them in a fight if he wants to, well, maybe at least Remy would give him a run for his money. She tells Xavier all of this as she observes it.

After an hour, the game eventually ends with Logan's team winning. Xavier thinks of an idea for Demeter. "I have a question for you" he asks her.

"What is it?"

"How would you like to train the team?"

"Train them how? Are we talking weapons training, martial arts, espionage…"

"I was thinking more along the lines of fighting. You are clearly skilled in it, and as you pointed out, there are people on the team who rely heavily on their abilities and do not know how to fight, if it ever came to that".

"Uh, sure, yeah, I could teach them"

"Good. I was thinking you could start, maybe after you gained some more control of your emotions. Also, this gives you more time to observe the team and what they would each benefit from".

"Uh, yeah, sounds good. How about this: if I go one month without incident, then I will start to train the team".

"I think that sounds reasonable" he says. The shake hands on it and go out into the hall to join the others.

"Well, kid, what did ya think?" Logan looks all sweaty and gross.

"I thought it was awesome. You guys were great by the way".

"Thanks". Logan shoots Scott and Remy a 'ha ha ha, suck it' face. He puts his arm around her and leads them upstairs, where he showers and then sits down to watch a movie with her on the couch. This was slowly becoming Demeter's favorite thing to do - to snuggle up with a blanket and watch a movie with Logan.

Demeter is finally starting to feel more accepted and comfortable at the mansion. She hopes she will be able to keep her cool long enough to begin training the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter finally gives you all some smut to enjoy!


	4. The Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something sets Demeter off, but thankfully Logan is there to help (in more ways than one). Also, an awesome bonfire ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT happens. Filthy, shameless smut. You have been warned.

It has been three weeks since Demeter watched the team known as the X-men train in the danger room. She has been doing really well with keeping her emotions in check. There have been a few hiccups along the way, but nothing more than a few eye rolls and a couple walk offs to cool down. Everything was going pretty well… until today.

Demeter has nightmares all throughout night. She dreams about her past missions with her former employer, the night she was taken from her parents, and has a nightmare about killing everyone in the mansion. She wakes up in a crappy mood, scared to be around anyone after her nightmares. She eats breakfast alone, and sulks about in her room for a couple of hours reading and just laying in bed. She gets up to take a walk outside, hoping that wills help brighten her spirits. She bumps into Scott and Jean outside - they are down by the lake having what she can only describe as an "intimate moment". They are kissing and cuddling with each other; it actually looks like they are having a picnic. She rolls her eyes and keeps walking, trying to avoid saying 'hello'. It has been three months since Demeter had any form of intimate or sexual contact. She might be a bit sexually frustrated and seeing Scott and Jean all lovey dovey with each other makes her realize that even more.

She continues walking through the huge year and sees a bunch of students playing Frisbee, other students playing baseball, and another group playing soccer. She stops walking and decides to watch the Frisbee and the baseball games that are happening. Everyone is smiling and having a good time, which puts a small smile on her face. ' _I guess today's not so bad after all'_ she thinks. Someone from behind yells "look out!" Before Demeter is even fully turned around, a soccer ball flies across the field, hitting her in her head, knocking her onto the ground. "Ow, fuck that hurt". She rubs at her head and slowly getting into a sitting position.

The kids that kicked the ball come running over to see if she is okay. "I'm fine" she says, still rubbing her head where the ball hit it. The three kids that are there start snickering at her and that makes her angry. Her eyes turn a shade of black, and she looks up at them. "What? You think that's funny? How about I show you what pain feels like?" Demeter stands and the kids cower off the other way calling for the coach to help.

Demeter high-tails it out of there, moving back to the mansion to find Logan. She needs him, needs him to help her fight the bad mood right out of her. She searches the first and second floors looking for him, but is unsuccessful in locating him. She walks back down the steps and spots Remy walking through the door. "Remy, where is Logan?"

He looks over at her, his smile quickly dropping once he sees her eyes. "Woah, mon ami, slow down. What's wrong?"

"I just need Logan. Where is he?"

"He's coming. He's just grabbin' a few tings from da car. Just hold on". Remy goes outside,  shouting for Logan to hurry up, that Demeter needs him.

Logan rushes in, dropping the box he is carrying, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, kid, what's wrong?"

"I need you. Now".

"Let's go". Logan and Demeter make their way to the gym and go straight to the blue wrestling mats. There isn't a boxing ring there, so the mats will have to do. They get into their fighting stances. "Tell me what's wrong".

"I had nightmares" is all she says before lunging at him.

He side steps her, but she quickly bounces up and does a roundhouse kick to his face. He stumbles back a few steps, but is right back in it, throwing a right jab at her. "What were they about" he questions.

"They were about before". She throws a fake left jab and then lands a right hook. She quickly brings her knee up to his stomach and then again to his face. "One was about my past missions". She goes to kick him in his side, but he catches her leg and throws her onto the mats.

"What about em'" he asks, bringing his foot down to stomp her in the stomach, but she rolls out of the way.

"About the people's feelings as I killed them". She moves to her feet and circles Logan, looking for the best way to attack. She runs at him, but quickly slides below and tries kicking his knees out, but he jumps up as she slides by. She bounces up, attempting to follow it up with an elbow to his face, but he catches her arm, pulling it behind her back and grabs her hair to hold her in place.

"You gotta let that go, kid. It's gonna eat you up inside if you don't".

Demeter hisses in pain, but stomps on his foot and grabs his arm, twisting it behind his back, reversing their positions, while kicking his legs out, making him drop to his knees. She grabs his hair and tugs backwards, jerking his head up to look at her. "Let it go, huh? Fine, I'll let it go". Her eyes grow even darker as she uses her powers make Logan feel like he is getting stabbed repeatedly.

"Ow, god damn" he grunts. He grabs a hold of her arm that she has in his hair, shifting his weight, flipping her over him. She hits the mat hard and lets out a loud groan. He makes a move to drop on top of her, but she rolls out the way, springing to her feet. They are now both on their feet circling one another. "You said that was just one nightmare you had. What're the other?" He throws a few jabs that she easily blocks, hoping that she will answer his question.

"Another was about the night I was taken from my parents. But the worst one was the last nightmare". She kicks at his head, barely making contact. They exchange blows back and forth - a punch or two there, a kick here and there.

"What was your last nightmare about?"

"I dreamt that…" trailing off thinking about the nightmare of her killing everyone in the mansion, not really paying attention to the fight.

Logan uses this opportunity to tackle her to the ground, flipping her over onto her stomach and pinning her right arm behind her back while his other hand pushed her face into the mats. "You dreamt about what?"

She struggles to try and get away, but Logan is too heavy to buck off of her. "I dreamt that they got me and put the microchip back in my head, and…" Logan tugs up and over on her right arm, making her shout in pain. "Owwwww!"

"And what?" He tugs her head up by her hair.

 "And they ordered me to kill all of you. This whole place was littered with everyone's blood".

"That's not going to happen" he says, shoving her head back into the mats.

"How do you know, huh? How do you know that they won't find me and put that thing back in my head?" She still attempts to wiggle to get free from underneath him, but to no avail.

"I know for a couple reasons. One, we would never let them get near you. And two. I'm pretty certain that if you ever saw them again, you would kill them on the spot". He is still on top of her, not wanting to let her go yet. "Anything else got you angry today that I should know about?"

"Yeah actually". She uses her powers to make him feel pain again. He immediately lets go of her. She quickly turns around and tackles him to the ground, pinning him beneath her. She takes a few shots at his head before speaking. "I was out in the field watching the kids play sports, and a soccer ball hit me in my head. The kids came over to see if I was alright, but then they started to laugh at me. I took offense to that". She throws another punch, but he grabs her wrist and uses his other hand to grab her throat, flipping them again so he is above her.

"You didn't hurt them did you" he asks, concern lacing his voice.

He is squeezing her throat, so it is difficult to speak. "Of course not" she chokes out. He eases up some on her throat so she continues. "That's when I came to find you". Her eyes are starting to lose some of the darkness to them, slowly returning to their normal color.

"Anything else before we're done?"

Demeter has a feral grin on her face. "Yeah, there is". She punches up, hitting this throat, causing him to let go of her. She surges up and topples onto him, pinning him beneath her. She is holding his wrists to the ground beside his head, her eyes turning red. She still has that feral grin on her face, staring down at Logan.

"What the hell does red eyes mean again?" Logan looks slightly worried, not knowing what the color of her eyes mean.

"I saw Scott and Jean out by the lake earlier. They were cuddling and kissing. It reminded me of how long it's been since I've had that kind of contact". She leans in so her lips are right above his, but not quite touching.

Understanding washes over Logan and his eyes widen. "Lust. Red means lust".

"And pleasure". She closes the gap between them, kissing Logan, sliding her tongue into his mouth, grinding her hips down on his.

' _Ah what the hell'_ he thinks. He sits up, never breaking his kiss with Demeter. His hand roams through her hair, tugging back and exposing her neck. He begins kissing her neck, biting down on her pulse point and then sucking it, marking his spot.

She lets out a soft moan. "Bed" she breathes out. "We need a bed" She is kissing him back with the same ferocity he is kissing her with.

"We could just stay here" he mumbles against her lips.

"No. I've done exhibitionism before, for a mission. Tried it, didn't like it. Bed".

Logan growls in annoyance, but picks her up by grabbing hold of her ass. She wraps her legs around his waist and continues kissing him as he carries her out of the gym to his room. Logan quickly opens the door to his room and then slams it shut behind him. It has almost been as long for Logan as it has been for Demeter without having any sex. They both need this.

He carries her over to the bed, dropping her down, moving atop her. He holds her wrists above her head with his left hand. "You sure you want this" he asks, looking at her like he is about to ravage her.

She nods her head and says "yes" as confidently as she can in the moment.

Logan practically growls, bending down to kiss her again. His right hand roams over her chest, grabbing and squeezing her left breast before doing the same to the right one. "I'm going to fuck you so hard" he snarls at her. He releases her wrists, and tugs her shirt off. He tugs off her sweatpants, and slowly makes his way up her thighs, squeezing and massaging her legs. His face moves in between her upper thighs, and sniffs. "I can already smell you" he says, putting his face up to her underwear. He mouths over her entrance and presses his pointer and middle finger on her clit. She lets out a loud moan, arching her back, not able to help it. He feels so good on her.

"Please Logan, fuck me. Please". She looks down at him eating her through her underwear. God, it looks so primal and hot.

"As you wish" he says. He unclasps her bra and tares her underwear clean off. "Don't move". He quickly stands up and removes his clothing, grabbing a condom and lube out of his dresser drawer. He places the items on bed next to them has he straddles her. He moves up her body so that he is sitting on her right below her breasts. "Suck" he huffs out, leaning forward so that his cock is at her lips.

She licks her lips and then teasingly licks the head of his cock. She grabs his length and licks from the bottom to the tip before taking him in her mouth. This time, it is Logan who lets out a moan. "Fuck. Your mouth feels so good". She hollows out her cheeks, making it feel tighter in her mouth. He starts to slowly rock his hips, his cock almost coming all the way out before pushing back in. Demeter moans around his cock, and that almost sends him over the edge. He pulls out of her mouth and advances further down her body so that he is aligned with her entrance. Logan rolls the condom on, making sure to coat his cock with lube. Without any warning, he slides inside of her, filling her quickly.

"Oh, fuck, Logan" she cries out. He leans down and engulfs her mouth in a kiss. His hands slides to her breasts, playing with her nipples. "Fuck, please, Logan". She sounds so gone already, but wants him to go faster. She starts rolling her hips up, meeting him thrust for thrust. He brings his mouth down to her breasts, sucking on her left nipple before biting down on it. "Ahhh!" she cries out, arching her back up in pleasure. He does the same to her right breast and she starts to whimper. "Logan… pl - please".

He looks down at her and sees the need in her eyes. He grabs her wrists and pins them above her head again as he starts pounding into her faster and harder than he has before. The bed is rocking with each thrust. "That's right. Fuckin' take it" he growls out. Demeter wraps her legs around his waist, taking him in even deeper. On the next thrust, he hits her g-spot, causing her to cry out his name. He rides her like that, increasing the speed and hardness of his movements as he rocks. "Look at you. God, you take it so well" He is straining not to come first - she feels so good around him, but he wants her to come first. "Is this how you like it? Huh? Fast and rough?"

Demeter moans louder each time he speaks. She has always been a sucker for dirty talk. She fervently nods her head, "yes, just like that. Fuck, yes". He moves his hand to her clit to start rubbing it. On the next thrust, he hits her spot and rubs her clit at the same time, causing her to cry out, yelling his name as she comes. He rides out her orgasm, rubbing her clit as he finishes. By the time she is done, she is almost in tears from being over sensitized as he continues fucking into her. It doesn't take him long after that till he stutters in her, growling out his orgasm which almost sounds like a battle cry, filling the condom as he thrusts two more times. He slumpes forward onto his arms, making sure not to crush her. He catches his breath for a moment before pulling out of her and discarding the condom in the small trash can next to the bed.

He rolls over so he is laying next to her on the bed. "That was amazing" he pants.

Demeter nods her head in agreement, unable to form words at the moment.

"You alright, kid?"

She can't help but roll her eyes at the nickname. "Yeah, I'm alright". She rolls over so that she is on top of him, straddling his stomach. She traces her hands along his torso, mapping out every inch that she possibly can "Next time, I want you to be more rough with me".

"Next time?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah, next time. Let's face it, neither one of us is getting any from anyone else at the moment. And it's not like we're in love with each other or anything. I like you, Logan. I like you in a best-friend type of way. But I also kind of want to have occasional sex with you. Like friends with benefits". She continues tracing his chest and arms, liking the way he felt.

"I never had a best friend, and don't need one".

She glares at him skeptically. "Please, you like me and you know it. Don't even try and hide it. Remember, I can sense your feelings. I know you like me. Like I said, friends with benefits. We're still going to hang out as usual, I'm still going to come to you when I'm angry, and all that fun stuff. We can still cuddle and watch a movie. I'll still fall asleep in your bed with you wrapped around me occasionally. But now, whenever one of us is in the mood, we can go to one another and take care of it".

He thinks about it for a minute before answering. "Fine, friends with benefits".

"Good. Now I should warn you, fighting is kind of a turn on for me. Whenever I'm in a bad mood and I come to you and we go to the gym, if I'm not crying at the end of it, I will probably be turned on. As in the case today".

"Yeah, it was weird seein' your eyes turn red like that for the first time. But I understand. It's primal. What do you mean by 'rougher' next time?"

She smiles down at him, happy he is on board with this. "I mean, I want you to slap me around a little bit, or order me around, or tie my hands up, or any combination of them. I like it rough. I also don't mind the use of toys, and two of my favorite kinks are knife play and breath play".

"Jesus Christ, kid". This is a lot for him to take in. He's never been with someone so open about what they like and don't like.

"You forget, I was a spy and I did have to sleep with quite a few people, both men and women. I've had to endure many types of sex: the good, the bad, the kinky, and everything else in between. I know what I like".

"Jeeze, I guess so… Alright, next time I'll be rougher with ya".

"Good" she bends down, kissing him softly. "Thank you" she says seriously. "I mean it. Thank you. You helped me today".

"You're welcome. Did anyone ever tell you that you hurt when you hit?"

A smile blooms across her face. "Yeah, a few people told me that over the years. And what about you? I'm gonna have to ice my whole body after that fight".

"I told you I was gonna fight back, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did. You just failed to mention that you are an incredible fighter". She is looking at him with one eyebrow raised.

"I've traveled a lot throughout the years. I learned the fighting style wherever I went. I spent a long time in Japan. You should see me with a samurai sword".

"Shit man. No wonder you were able to put up a hell of a fight against me. Why didn't Xavier ever ask you to train the team?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he asked me last month to train the team in hand-to-hand fighting. During that capture the flag game in the danger room, I was pointing out each person's strengths and weaknesses. He asked me that once I get my emotions under control, if I would want to train the team".

"No, he never asked me. Probably figured I would have said no, which I would have. When are you planning on doing this?"

"I don't know. I hope soon. We agreed that I have to go one month without an incident before I could train the team. I think he doesn't want me getting angry while training and then try and kill everyone".

"Sounds like the professor. I guess we'll have to see how the next month goes then, huh?"

"Yeah. Fingers crossed". She kisses him on his luscious lips once more before rolling off of him to stand up next to the bed. "Alright, let's go. That fight and fuck made me hungry. It's almost dinner time anyways. Let's go. We're cooking"

"We're cooking?"

"Yup, that's right. Up an at em'. Come on, one two, one two. Move those feet". She s giggling as she snaps her fingers at him. "We gotta get dressed and then we're going to cook, and then we're going to set up a bonfire".

"A bonfire? Seriously?"

"Serious as a heart attack". She pulls her sweatpants back on and hooks her bra on. "I've never gotten to experience a bonfire before. I've set people on fire and watched them burn, but I've never experienced a bonfire".

"Jesus Christ, you had a messed up childhood". She gives him her classic 'no-shit-Sherlock' face. "Alright, fine. We'll make your stupid bonfire". He got up and started to get dressed.

Demeter was full on grinning now. "Yay! We're going to make smores too. I haven't had one since I was eleven. That night didn't turn out so well for the smores maker if you know what I mean". She is fully dressed now, waiting for Logan to throw on a shirt and zip up his jeans.

He shakes his head in exasperation. "Sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with a child".

"Ew gross. I hope not, especially after what we just did". She winks at him as he pulls his shirt over his head.

"You're disgusting, you know that, kid?"

She shrugs he shoulders at his accusation. "Meh, sometimes. Now let's go. My belly wants food". She opens the door for them, making sure to shut it as they leave to go to the kitchen.

*

Logan and Demeter finish eating their buffalo chicken pasta that they made - there were a few arguments as to how much hot sauce goes into it, but it turned out alright in the end. "Okay, I'm going to go find people to come to the bonfire. You go set it up".

"What? Why do I have to set it up? You're not a child, you can do it".

"Would you rather go socialize with other human beings and ask them to come to the bonfire, or would you rather get the wood and start the fire?"

"I'll start the fire, but I'm not happy about it".

"When are you ever happy? Go".

He rolls his eyes and goes outside to gather the wood.

"Now, time to find some people". Demeter searches around the first floor and finds Rogue and Remy. She finsd Ororo and Hank on the second floor going over lesson plans for the next day. She invites them all out to the fire. "Oh hey, if any of you see Kurt, or Jean, or Scott, let them know we're having a bonfire and they are welcome to come. We're gonna have smores and beer. It's gonna be great".

Demeter grabs the bag full of smores supplies and the beer, walking out to where Logan is. "I found Rogue, Remy, Hank, and Ororo. They're all coming".

"Fine. Kurt popped in and said he'd be here". Logan drops he wood from his hands and grabs the lighter fluid. "This how you burned those people?" he asks mockingly, while pouring the lighter fluid on the wood.

Demeter shoves him, making him trip over the fire wood. "Real nice, Logan. And no. If you must know, they were unconscious and tied up as I poured alcohol all over their bodies and threw a match on them. They lit up like a Christmas tree".

"Jesus, kid".

"Jesus had nothing to do with it, trust me. Now, hurry up and get this thing going. People are going to be here soon. I'm gonna go grab some chairs and a blanket. I want this to be a real bonfire experience. Chop, chop".

By the time Demeter returns with fold-out chairs, Logan has the fire lit and burning. "Oh, look at it! This is nice". She sets the chairs up around the fire, and places the smores ingredients on the little drink stand they brought out. "I hear people coming!"

Rogue and Remy are the first to arrive. "Hello, sugar, what's cookin'?"

"Hello mon ami". Remy reaches for Demeter's hand to kiss it. He nods towards Logan, and Logan nods back.

"Feel free to help yourselves to some smores and some beer. We have plenty of everything".

"Don't mind if I do" Logan says, grabbing a beer from the cooler he brought out. Rogue and Remy each take one. Demeter goes to grab a beer, but Logan swats her hand away. "Uh uh. Not old enough".

"You're fucking kidding me, right? Logan, I'll be twenty-one in two and a half months. I've drank beer before. I've been drunk before. I've had to drink marks under the table. Trust me, one beer is not going to hurt me". Demeter can't believe that he isn't going to let her drink.

"Oh, Logan, let the poor girl have a drink. She can probably out drink all of us, minus you of course".

"Thank you Rogue. See, Rogue says it's okay".

"Let the girl have a drink. What's it gonna hurt, Logan?" Remy can't help but pile on in defense of Demeter.

"I could always make you feel like letting me drink". She crosses her arms, raising one of her eyebrows at him.

"Fine, have a drink. Don't come cryin' to me if you get drunk".

"Logan, I assure you there is not enough alcohol here to get me drunk". She picks a beer from the cooler and pops the lid off. "Now, smores!"

Everyone makes their smores and sits around the fire. Ororo and Hank join a few minutes after the beer debacle. Kurt pops in ten minutes after them. Scott and Jean are twenty minutes late, but at least they showed up.

Logan leans over to her, asking if she is happy. "I am. Thank you, and thank you for this, Logan. I really appreciate it".

"I'm glad you like it, kid".

"How could I not? It's my first ever bonfire. I've had a blast. And what better way to say goodbye to summer than a kickass fire?"

He chuckles. "Yeah. No better way".

They both sit back and enjoy the night. It turns out to be a really nice evening for everyone. Eating, drinking, good conversation, and even a really bad dance off ensued. Seriously, Hank and Kurt should never dance - it was bad. All in all, Demeter considers the night a success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter has some butt-kicking in it - yay! Also, more sex happens. The end might not be so great though...


	5. Training, and Sex, and Nightmares, Oh My!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter literally tells you everything that is going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning: Sexy times happen*
> 
> *Warning: Self-harm and thoughts of suicide*
> 
> My apologies for the angst. As always, if I missed anything in the tags, please let me know.

It has been two  months since the bonfire. Demeter had two other incidents after that day, but finally makes it one month without incident. Her and Xavier set up today's training day with the entire team. She has been looking forward to this day since Xavier first suggested it. She hasn't gotten to do anything like this since she was at her old company, and she kind of misses it.

Demeter walks into the gym underneath the mansion and sees the team lined up and ready to go. She can't help the smile that is on her face - she is looking forward to whipping these people into shape. "Hello all. Welcome to what I am referring to as 'training day'. Today I am going to assess each of your fighting styles, tell you what you need to improve on, and teach you basic fighting skills. Any questions?"

"I have one. Why are we here? We've done well as a team thus far, why do we need you to train us?" Scott looks annoyed and like he doesn't want to be here.

"I'm _glad_ that you asked, Scott. Step right up please". Demeter has been wanting to do this since she first met him. Scott takes his place on the mats. "Now, charge at me".

"What? Are you serious?"

"As serious as I can be. Now woman up, and charge at me".

"Okay" he says.

Scott charges at her with his hand pulled back like he is going to punch her, but Demeter easily steps to the side as she kicks him in the stomach, and then quickly grabbing on to his collar and tumbling him onto the floor with her on top of him. She pulls her arm back as if she is going to punch him, but she doesn't. "This is why I'm training you". She leans in so her mouth is right next to his hear and whispers "you might think I'm a monster, but I'm the monster that just kicked your ass". Demeter gets off of him, turning back to the team. "Now, even though I easily took him down, it was still a learning experience. I learned that he has had training in boxing - he took a boxers stance when we first set up. He needs to learn other forms of fighting, specifically ones that deal with kicks and flips. Now, whose next?" She looks over the team and decides. "Jean, you're up. Come on, don't be shy, I promise I won't hurt you".

Jean looks unconvinced, but she steps forward anyway. "Okay, if you're sure".

Demeter gives her an easy smile. "I'm sure. Now remember, do not use your powers. This training is power-free, understood?"

"Understood". Jean looks so uncomfortable and helpless without being able to use her powers.

"Okay, now, come at me however you want".

They each take a fighting stance and Jean eventually moves forward slowly. Demeter matches her movements, inch by inch. Jean eventually takes a swing at her, but Demeter steps to the side and moves behind her, grabbing her throat in the process. Jean tries to elbow Demeter in the side, but she catches her arm and kicks her legs out, effectively dropping her to the floor. "Alright, not too bad. Did I hurt you?" she asks while releasing Jeans throat from her grip and helping her up.

Jean sighs in defeat and takes the offered hand to help her up. "No, you didn't".

She gives her an easy smile. "Good. Now, what I learned from that was that Jean needs some training, but that's okay. That's what I'm here for. You did good Jean. You had a natural swing to your punch, so it at least lets me know that you've punched someone before". Jean looks at her with a shy smile. "So, Hank, you're next. Step right up".

"No problem" he says smiling. He walks over to the mats and looks completely at ease.

Demeter knew he's fought before, and she's seen the way he uses his limbs and power to jump and swing from tress. But there are no trees here, just mats. They take their spots on the mats and she nods at him. "Whenever you're ready".

Hank kindly nods back before quickly jumping at her. She dodges it and counters with a swinging right hook that he blocks. They dance around like that for a minute, before she slides around him and jumps on his back and wraps her legs around him as tightly as she can, putting him in a headlock. He tries to throw her off, but her grip is strong and she is pressing on the right pressure points to make him woozy fast. Three seconds later he is tapping out. She releases him from the headlock and hops off of him, patting him on the back.

"Alright, good job Hank. That was actually really good". She turns to look at the group. "He was able to keep me dancing for a minute by exchanging blows. If you know you're outmatched in a fight, try to outlast the person. Run circles around him or her if you have to. This gives other team members time to find you and help you". Turning to look at him as he passes by her, she says "good job". He says thank you, and returns to his spot on the side. "Remy, you're up".

She knows that Remy will give her a run for her money, but she also knows that she can beat him. "Remember, no powers, so try to dial down that agility of yours, yeah?"

"I would never cheat, chère". He looks loose and languid on the mats, ready for a bout. He waits for her to give him the nod before he charges at her. They exchange a few blows, and he even lands a really hard kick to her stomach, causing her to stumble back. He uses that opportunity to try and tackle her, but she anticipates the move and jumps over him as he attempts to tackle her. She quickly jumps on his back and puts him in a rear-naked choke hold, forcing him to tap out.

She helps Remy to his feet and they high-fived into a handshake. "You're a fast little Cajun, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. And you're one tough little cookie. How's your ribs after dat kick?" He feels kind of bad for hitting her that hard, and he hopes she is okay.

"I'll live". She glares at him, but it lacks any real heat. "Alright" she says as he makes his way back to the line, "I learned that Remy is ridiculously good at Savate. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a French style of foot-fighting or kick-fighting. Clearly you can handle yourself in a fight, so I won't have much work to do with you. Okay, next up is Ororo".

Demeter takes her place back on the mats and waits for her to get there. "Remember, no powers".

"Understood". Ororo takes her own stance and then attacks.

Demeter is pleasantly surprised to learn that Ororo is a skilled fighter. In between exchanging blows, she tells her "didn't know you could fight like this".

Ororo smiles as she attempts to kick Demeter, but misses. "I usually never have to".

Demeter lands a hard left hook to her face, following it with a quick kick to her stomach, and then sweeps her legs. She rolls on top of Ororo as soon as she hits the ground, and shoves her forearm onto her throat. "That was fun".

"You have an odd definition of fun. Now, please get off of me".

Demeter examines her face and sees that she is uncomfortable having someone on top of her like this, making her feel trapped. "Oh, uh, sure. Here" she says, reaching out her hand to help her up. "Well, Ororo can hold her own in a fight. Good. Less work I have to do with you". She is starting to feel tired, but not nearly enough to stop for the day. "Okay. Let's see, who is next... hmm… How about Rogue. You're up sweetheart". Demeter likes Rogue, and the two have bonded over her time here. She also knows that Rogue packs a mean punch. "Try not to punch through my face, yea?"

"Will do, sugar. Now get ready for a beatin'". It is nothing but smiles from Rogue as she prepares for their fight.

"Not a chance, friend. Anytime you're ready".

"Aye aye, captain". Rogue moves forward as they circle each other before she finally advances to attack. Demeter takes a hard hit to the face - that is definitely going to leave a mark. Rogue follows it up with a  kick to her head, but Demeter ducks and kicks her stomach. She slides in front of Rogue, does a handstand and wraps her feet around her neck, and brings her legs down, bringing Rogue with her. Once Rogue is on the floor with Demeter on top of her, her thighs encasing Rogue's neck, Demeter put her hand into a fist and stops her punch an inch away from Rogue's face, winking at her.

"I said to try and not punch a hole through my face". She lightly slaps Rogue's face before helping her up. "Well, besides fightin' dirty, you seem alright. I'll help you with your takedowns - tackling doesn't always go so well".

"Thanks, honey".

The light nicknames make Demeter feel loved and accepted by these people. It means more to her than any of them know. "Alright, who do we have left. Let's see… Kurt and Logan. Let's go with Kurt. Now remember Kurt, no teleporting. If you do, I will make you regret it, okay?"

"Yes ma'am. Let's just get this over with so I can go and eat a pizza".

"A whole pizza?" She is baffled that he can eat so much.

"A whole pepperoni pizza for me. Yum" he says, patting his stomach.

"Good Lord, man. I might have to put you on a diet too".

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. No one said anything about a diet. I'll train, but no diet".

She just looks at him in shock. "Okay, no diet. Let's just get this done then".

"Good".

"On your mark, get set, and go". This time, Demeter moves quickly and jumps, wrapping her legs around his waist, and takes him to the mats. Out of panic, Kurt teleports himself. "KURT!"

He pops up a few seconds later. "I'm sorry. It was out of habit. I panicked".

Demeter raises her right eyebrow questioningly at him. "Oh really?" She uses her powers to make him feel like his stomach is upset. When she sees his worried look on his face, she simply says "sorry, out of habit". She can't stand to look at him in pain any longer, so she stops making him feel like his stomach is about to blow. "Go. I'm done with you for the day. But next time, you will not use your powers and I am going to be extra harsh on you. Enjoy your pizza". And with that, Kurt teleports himself away to the kitchen most likely..

Shaking her head in exasperation, she turns back to the team. "There is a reason I don't want you all using your powers during the training. What if someone depowers one of you and you don't know how to fight? You'll be defenseless. I'm doing this to try and help you all. Okay?" The team nod their heads in unison at her. "Alright" she says, getting a small grin on her face. "Last but not least, Logan. Step right up, buddy".

"I don't see why I have to do this. I've already fought you multiple times. You know I can fight. This seems pointless and a waist of my time". He has a point there.

She gives him the 'I know this is pointless, but please go along with it' look. "I know, Logan. But I have to be fair. Plus, it might be a little fun". She wiggles her eyebrows at him, her smile practically splitting her face.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just get this over with". He takes his position on the mats and waits for her to do the same.

Just to be a douche, she actually curtsies at him, laughing when he deadpans at her and flips her off. Without saying a word, she quickly moves to attack him. Out of everyone, her and Logan are the most evenly matched. What she loves most about this is the fact that she doesn't have to hold back or pull any punches with him. She can be as hard and ferocious with him as she can be, knowing that he can take it.

A few team members actually sit down during the fight around the ten minute marker. Neither is able to pin the other down thus far. They keep at it for another five minutes, exchanging blows and glances at each other. As much as she wants the fight to continue - this is like foreplay to her - she also knows she should end it for everyone else. She gets a running start and jumps up, wrapping her thighs around his neck, twirling a little, and brings him down on the mats hard. Hopping on top of him, she pins his wrists by his head, winking at him in the process. "That was fun" she says as her eyes flash red.

"Loads of fun" he replies, hiding a tiny smirk that threatens to show. "Where'd you learn that one?"

"The Black Widow. I watched some of the videos of her kicking ass. My handlers had me watch some of her stuff to learn the moves. It came in handy". She moves off of him to help him to his feet. She turns her attention back to the team who look completely un-amused and like they want to leave immediately. "That took longer than expected, but I hope it was helpful for at least one of you. Well, I know how you all are in a fight now, so go, scurry off. I'll set up a time with each of you to show you some stuff to work on. Thanks everyone". She watches as they all stand and wave their goodbyes, dragging themselves out of the room. Demeter turns her attention back to Logan who stays behind. "Well, what did you think?"

"I think you kicked everyone's asses. I especially loved how you took Scott out. That was nice".

"Thanks. He needed to come down off of his high horse".

"That was one of my favorite sights to see".

She grins at him, happy that the training went well. "So, you wanna..." she trails off, biting her bottom lip.

"Let's go".

*

Logan begins undressing her as soon as the door to his room shuts. He tugs her shirt off a little too harshly, making her curse in pain as she grabs her ribs. He takes one look at her side and sees a huge bruise forming there. "Whoa. That's a big bruise. Who gave you that one?" The annoyance is clearly written on his face.

"I think that one was from Remy when he kicked me". It hurt, but she's had worse. At least that's what she keeps telling herself to make herself feel better.

"I'm gonna kill that Cajun" he says, growling at what Remy did.

"No, don't. It was a fight. Bruises happen in fights. Doesn't take away from what we're doing here. And I don't want you taking it easy on me. If you do, I swear to God I will break your arm".

"You're always so violent. Fine, I won't kill him, yet…"

"Good. Now that that is settled, fuck me".

Logan wears a smug grin on his face, knowing exactly what that fight did to her. He hoists her up to kiss her, then throws her on the bed. "Whatever you say". He tugs her shorts and underwear off of her at the same time. He quickly does away with her sports bra, and gazes down at her while she lays naked in his bed. She always feels so exposed like this with him, like he can crush her at any moment. "What to do with you first".

"What do you want to do with me" she asks in her sultry voice, batting her eyelashes at him and biting her bottom lip.

"I'm going to make you beg". His words go straight to her heat, letting out a soft moan in anticipation. "This is going to be fun". He undresses and then grabs the lube and condom out of his drawer and moves over to the bed. He sits down next to her, slowly and delicately tracing his finger along her body. He purposefully avoids her nipples each time he passes the breasts, knowing that she loves him playing with them. He gently trickles his fingers over her sex, teasingly brushing her fingers up and down before he moves down to her thighs.

"Logan, please" is all she is able say. Her body is on edge and wanting release. She loves being teased and what it does to her body.

Logan shifts his left hand up, grabbing her throat and lightly squeezing. "Not yet". He moves his right hand up her thigh and ever so slightly inserts his finger into her. He can feel her squirming and moaning, knowing how badly she wants this. He squeezes her throat a little harder as he experimentally moves his finger further into her, moving it around inside. He pulls his finger out, easing up on her throat and ushers his finger into her mouth. "Suck".

Demeter opens her mouth, taking his finger in, sucking and licking around it, tasting herself on it. He guides another finger into her mouth and she happily welcomes it, moaning around them as soon as they enter. As soon as he feels they are wet enough, he pulls them out and inserts them into her hole, making her gasp.

Logan cuts her gasp off by clutching her throat once more. "That's it baby, work for me" he says as she begins to move her hips, trying to get him to move faster. He keeps this up until he finally has four fingers in her, stretching her for him. He licks up her sex, making sure to swirl around her clit before bringing her in for a kiss.

"Logan… Pl- please. I want you". She already feels so blissed out and in the right headspace for him.

He flips her over so her butt is facing up, slapping it as he does. "Is this what you like? Huh, Dem, is it?"

"Y- yes… Please, Logan". Her words come out shakier and needier than she thought.

He keeps her like that and inserts his fingers back into her, pumping in and out as he continues to spank her ass. She is shaking with need, so close to coming just from this. "Look at you all ready for me. You should see yourself right now. You look like a greedy slut ready for my cock".

She can't even speak right now she is so far gone. She just nods her head and makes some kind of sound of acknowledgement.

Logan quickly rolls on the condom and applies a hefty amount of lube to his length. He removes his fingers from her and flips her back over. He brings his mouth down on her nipples and sucks, causing her to arch her back in pleasure.

"Logan" is all she gets out before he grabs her throat and thrusts into her. She clenches hard around him and he can tell she is close.

"Not until I say you can come". They had this discussion already - they discussed what each of them likes and doesn't like, and what safe words they would use. His is "adamantium" and hers is "red". They previously discussed that she likes breath play and he likes to do orgasm denial. They make a great team.

He is pounding into her fast and hard, hitting her spot almost every time. Most of the time she needs her clit touched to make her come, but she is damn-near not needing it tonight. Every time he thrusts into her, he squeezes her neck, making her closer and closer to release. He knows she likes being roughed up, so he slaps her and then follows it up with a harsh kiss, biting her lip as he pulls away.

"I'm s'close. S'close". She is rendered useless, unable to even form full words right now. Logan is one of the only people on the planet that she has ever allowed herself to be so vulnerable with to be put down into the headspace that she is in right now. She knows that he will be there to bring her back up when she is ready.

"Not until I say". Demeter actually whimpers when he says that, which makes him squeeze her throat until she can barely breath. "That's right, I know you like that you dirty slut. Like it when I choke you. Fuckin' whore". They both know he doesn't mean any of those names, but she loves him calling her names and talking dirty to her. He sees tears dropping down her face, knowing she won't last much longer.

"Ple.. plesase". He takes pity on her and tells her to come. On his next thrust he slides his finger over her clit and lightly presses on it, making her arch off the bed and yell his name as she comes. He continues his ministrations for another minute before he allowes himself to come.

He pulls out of her and slumps down on the bed next to her. They lay there trying to get their breathing under control as they both came down from their highs. Logan is the first to move as he sits up and disposes of the condom. He swipes his finger inside of her, causing her to shudder. He pulls it out with her cum on it and sucks it. "Mmmmm. You taste delicious".

Demeter is coming up from her headspace, but she isn't ready to talk yet, so she lays there. Logan moves down on the bed, lapping up her cum around and in her, making her shudder from overstimulation each time he swipes his tongue.

"S-stop, p-p-lease". She started crying from the stimulation, her body not able to handle it right now.

Logan pulls himself up, cupping her face, softly kissing her. "Hey, I got you. I'm right here".

"Please, Logan. I can't…" she trails off shaking her head.

"I know. I'm done. I've got you". He scoots her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her, engulfing her in a huge hug. He quietly whispers "I got you" and "It's okay" in her ear, slowly rubbing soft circles on her back. He always makes sure to comfort her after a scene like this and makes sure she is okay. He also knows that after a particularly rough scene, she sometimes needs him to hold her as she falls asleep in his arms. He knows this is one of those times. Logan pulls the blankets over them as she drifts off to sleep in his arms.

*

Demeter opens her eyes to a rustling sound, finding Logan moving his head back in forth in his sleep. He looks like he is having a nightmare. "Logan, hey Logan, wake up" she says as she gently pushed him. He springs awake, pushing her away from him as his claws came out. He looks wild and confused, and she quickly uses her powers to make him feel calm. It is slowly working and she tries taking whatever pain he was feeling away. As soon as the pain reaches her, she starts to cry and shriek in pain, as the memory and pain of his nightmare overtakes her.

Hearing her cry out is enough to snap him out of it and go running over to her. "Demeter, hey, Demeter! Look at me. Hey, look at me, kid. What's wrong? What happened?"

She manages to get out "you had a nightmare" in between all of her crying and shaking. He gets her back onto the bed, wrapping her in a cover.

A moment later the door busts open with Rogue and Remy coming through. "What's wrong?" she asks, hurriedly taking in the surroundings.

Remy is already over to the bed, pulling Logan off and slamming him against the wall. "What did you do to her?" he asks, his eyes turning a hint of red, threatening to use his powers on Logan.

Logan shoves Remy off of him. "I didn't do anything. I was sleeping". Logan looks horrified when he glances over and sees Demeter sobbing into Rogues shoulder.

Remy shoves him against the wall again. "You must've done somethin' cause she's cryin' and in pain. Now I'm only gonna ask you nicely one more time. What did you do?"

"Nightmare… pain" is all Demeter mutters, still crying onto Rogue.

"What'd she say?" Remy asks, still holding Logan against the wall. It is a real miracle that no one notices, or if they do, they don't mention that Logan is completely naked at the moment.

"She said nightmare and pain". Rogue continues holding Demeter as she cries.

Realization dawns on Logan as he understands what she means. "Oh no" he breathes out, sadly looking over at Demeter.

"Oh no, what, Logan?". Remy's eyes still have some red in them as he asks Logan the question.

"I must have had a nightmare and she woke me up. I started feelin' calmer, which I think was due to her. Then the pain went away". He looks at her on the bed as if he stabbed her with his claws. "I think she took my pain away".

"Oh, sugar" she says, hugging Demeter more tightly. "It's okay, I've got you". She pats and rubs her back, trying her best to calm Demeter down.

Demeter glances over at Logan and sees him staring at her. "I saw… I saw your nightmare. I felt all that pain..." Her words come out trembling as she shakes. "I saw what they did to you. I felt it".

This time, Logan pushes Remy off of him and moves onto the bed, wrapping his arms around her, effectively taking over what Rogue was doing. "I'm so sorry" was all he can say. He remembers the pain he felt when Strucker experimented on him, and now Demeter feels it too. "I-I… I'm sorry". He holds her tighter to him as she presses her face into his chest, tears still streaming down her face.

"We're gonna go. Sugar, if you need anything, let me know". Rogue walks over to Remy and has to push him out of the room because he doesn't want to leave Demeter alone with Logan. "Come on Remy, they'll be fine".

"If you need anyt'ing mon ami, I'm only a few doors down". He waits until she nods her head to leave, giving Logan the death eye as he shuts their door.

"I'm sorry" she says to Logan once they are gone.

He looks down at her like she just grew three heads out of nowhere. "Sorry? You have nothin' to be sorry for, Dem. I'm the one whose sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you and shown my claws". He can't believe that she is trying to apologize right now.

"I'm sorry I saw that memory. I'm sorry you went through all of that". She is terrified at the image of him being pumped full of adamantium while underwater. She feels even worse knowing that she almost put him through more experiments if she would have been successful in capturing him all those months ago.

"It's not your fault. I promise. I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm more sorry you had to feel that". He doesn't know what to do or say in this situation. Besides the professor, Rogue is the only other person whose seen that memory. He feels like shit knowing that not only does Demeter see it, but she feels everything he felt. "Please, sleep. I'm so sorry. I'll do my best to never let that happen again. I'm sorry, kid". Demeter falls asleep shaking in his arms as he keeps murmuring his apologies to her.

*

Demeter wakes the next morning still feeling like shit. She didn't sleep well and she kept having nightmares about what happened last night. Her head hurts and she feels the dried snot on her face. ' _Gross_ ' she thinks, picturing what she probably looks like at the moment. It takes her a moment to realize that Logan is still next to her and still has his arms around her. She looks up at him, trying to give him a smile but failing miserably. "Morning".

"Hey, kid. How ya feelin'?"

"Like shit".

Logan winces at that one. "You had quite a few nightmares last night".

"How do you know?" she asks, not sure how Logan knows she had nightmares.

"Aside from the shaking and crying in your sleep, you also make everyone around you feel pain when you're having a nightmare". He can see that she is tense and he hates himself for making her feel that way. He starts stroking her back in hopes of helping her relax, which it does to an extent.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Logan. I didn't mean to hurt you". Her body tenses right back up, feeling bad about causing him pain and about last night. She pretty much just feels bad in general.

"Hey, no, you have nothing to feel bad about. I'm the one whose sorry". He holds her closer, unsure of what else to say other than sorry. "You should never have had to see what you saw or felt. Sorry I put you in the situation where you would need to calm me down like that".

"What? Hey" she said, scoots up to look at him, just now feeling that her ribs hurt almost as bad as her head. "Ow" she mutters, holding her ribs as she tries to get into a comfortable position. "Logan, look at me. You are my best friend, and I would take your pain away again if it meant helping you". She cups his face in both hands, looking at him with  such sincerity. "Okay?"

"No. Listen to me, kid. I never want you to take my pain away. It's my pain to bare, not yours. I don't need you to take it, alright. No one should ever have to feel that".

"Okay" she says, but thinking 'agree to disagree' in her head.

He sees her holding her stomach with the sheets covering it. "Let me see your ribs" he demands, nudging Demeter to lay down. She tries to protest but he gives her the 'don't-fuck-with-me' look. He pulls back the covers and almost has a conniption as he stares at the huge black and blue bruise that has formed on her side. "I'm gonna kill that Cajun" he says, moving off the bed to get dressed.

"No, don't kill Remy. It wasn't his fault. It was training and stuff happens. Look at my face" she says, pointing to right underneath her eye. "This bruise is from Rogue and I don't think you're gonna kill her. So just relax".

Logan sees the slight traces of blue in her eyes and knows she is sad and in pain. "Alright, fine. I won't kill the Cajun today". He finishes getting dressed and opens the door to leave when he hears her ask where he is going. "Food" he answers looking over his shoulder and then leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Demeter just rolls her eyes and figures she might as well get dressed. She moves slowly, attempting to get out of bed without stretching her bruised side too much. She knows she can make herself feel better, make herself feel like she isn't in pain, but she doesn't want to. Much like Logan, Demeter is self-deprecating and feels like she deserves the pain. By the time she finishes getting dressed and puts her brown hair into a messy bun, Logan walks back in with a tray of food.

"You're up" he says, moving over to the bed with the tray.

"Yeah. Figured I should get dressed".

"Sit. Eat some food".

"Sir, yes, sir" she cracks out with a mock salute as she gingerly walks back over to the bed to sit down.

"You should take it easy today. Just rest". He picks up the fruit off the tray and starts feeding her. She feels like an invalid with him feeding her, but she is too sore to care. "Try some O.J." he encourages, passing her the cup. "Stay in bed today and relax".

"I think that sounds like a plan". She eats the piece of peanut butter banana toast and drinks the rest of the orange juice. Once Logan moves the tray away, Demeter snuggles further under the blankets.

"Sleep tight, kid".

*

"How is she doing" Xavier asks as Logan steps into his office, the rest of the team already there.

"Not well, but she'll get there".

"Does she need anyt'ing?" Remy is concerned for her - she feels like a sister to him.

"She needs rest. She might need to see you professor. She took a lot of pain, and" he looks over at Remy before he continues "her stomach has a huge bruise on it. She might need some pain meds too".

"I see… Let's just let her rest today and I'll speak with her tomorrow if she feels up to it". Xavier is worried about her. He knows how much pain she must have taken from Logan to be in this position. "Now, if you all will excuse us, I need to speak to Logan alone". Xavier waits until everyone but Logan is gone. "Now Logan, how long have you been sleeping with Demeter?"

"I don't think that's any of your business, Chuck".

Xavier blanches at the nickname Logan affords him."Logan, I only ask because right now, she is fragile. She's come  a long way since she first arrived, and I know you have had a lot to do with that. I just want you to be careful with her. Do not hurt her. She's young and has been through more than any person her age should ever have to go through".

Logan can't help but roll his eyes at the professor. "What are you, her dad? Listen professor, her and I have an understanding. I won't hurt her" he says, and then thinks about it for a second before speaking again. "I won't intentionally hurt her. She was stupid is what she was. I know she was trying to help, but she was stupid. She should have never taken that pain". Logan still feels like shit about the whole situation and wishes he knew a way to fix it.

"You can't change what happened, Logan. All you can do is be there for her and help her. She needs you as much as you need her".

"That's not sayin' much, doc".

"I think it says more than you give either of you credit for. If she wants, she can come in tomorrow and see me. I'm sure she'll be upset at herself for what happened. Keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't hurt anyone, including herself".

Logan gives a curt nod and walks away, hoping Demeter will be okay.

*

So far today, everyone except Scott and the professor have been by to see her. Rogue brought her soup, Remy brought her pain meds and a big apology for the ribs, Kurt brought his comedic jokes, Ororo had nothing but kind and comforting words to say, Hank did impressions of everyone on the team, and Jean came by to make sure she was okay and to send Scott's "regards". ' _What a prick_ ' she thought. Regardless of everyone stopping by, she still feels like crap and isn't sure how to get better. She is using all of her energy - the little amount that she has - to keep the anger away that comes with Logan's memory/nightmare. It is difficult, but she is trying. She knows that she is in no shape to be fighting anyone and knows she can't handle more pain, so she keeps it to herself.

Logan stops by later that night to bring her dinner and check up on her. "Hey ya, kid. How you feelin'?"

"Dandy" she says, rolling over to face away from while pulling the covers over her head.

' _Yup, definitely a child sometimes_ 'he thinks. "I brought you food if you want any".

"Not hungry" she mumbles from underneath the pillow.

He rolls his eyes and lets out a big sigh. "Listen, kid. You gotta eat somethin', alright. You need to keep your strength up. Not eatin' isn't the way to go about all this".

"Fine". She huffs, rolling over and crouching up on the bed. She figures she will eat and then he will leave. Demeter takes the bowl of  Cocoa Puffs he has and eats it. She feels a ping of happiness in her heart knowing that Logan remembered cereal is her comfort foods. "Thank you" she says after she finishes the bowl and hands it back to him.

"Here, drink some water" he says, exchanging the empty bowl for a bottle of water. He waits until she is halfway done to continue talking. "I, um, I figured I would sleep in a spare bedroom tonight to give you some space. I won't be far away". He hopes she will be okay with that.

Her face twists into a hurt look, not understanding why he is abandoning her. "Is it… is it because of my nightmares? Because I hurt you?" She doesn't understand why he doesn't want to stay with her.

"No, of course not. I don't want to hurt you. That's why I'm not staying in here tonight. Okay?"

Demeter nods her head, but still hurt that he isn't going to be with her. Maybe it will be for the best. At least this way she won't be able to hurt him in her sleep.

"Get some rest, kid. The professor said to stop by tomorrow if you're feeling up for it. Night".

"Night, Logan".

*

Much like the night before, Demeter sleeps terribly. She keeps having nightmares and Logan has to keep coming in to calm her down. It would have been easier if he just stayed with her. Demeter has no desire to speak to human civilization today, but she figures she should at least speak with Xavier. Forcing herself to get up is not one of her better ideas at the moment, but she does so regardless. ' _Life sucks_ ' she thinks as she slips into a pair of loose sweatpants and a t-shirt and makes her way to Xavier's office.

' _Does he ever leave this place? Does he live in there?_ ' she thinks, knocking on his door and waiting for him to tell her to comes in. She opens the door and walks in when she hears his voice. Demeter takes her usual spot on the couch, knowing that her ribs cannot handle a chair at the moment.

"Hello, Demeter. Nice to see you again" he speaks, moving over to greet her.

"Good to see you too, professor". She inhales a deep breath and then exhales "I guess you want to talk about what happened the other night…"she trails off, not particularly wanting to continue.

"Yes, I would like to discuss that. How's your head feeling?"

"It hurts" she says softly, looking down at the ground.

"And your heart?" he asks, sincerity creeping through his words.

She is fidgeting with her fingers, still looking down at the ground. "That hurts more" she whispers, now looking up at Xavier with tears forming in her eyes. "Everything hurts".

Xavier moves closer to her, reaching out and placing his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure it does. You were so strong and brave to do what you did to help Logan".

She looks at him quizzically, not expecting him to have said that. "Brave? How was that brave?"

"You didn't hesitate to help, you just helped. That takes bravery. And not knowing how bad it was but still doing it, that was also brave. I am sorry that it hurt you".

"He was so angry…" She starts to shake just thinking about that memory.

"Logan? No, he wasn't angry. He was worried about you. He didn't want to hurt you".

"No, no" she says, shaking her head. "He was so angry and in so much pain when they did that to him". Her tears are starting to drop from her eyes. "I feel all the pain and anger he felt. I'm trying".

"Trying to what, Demeter?" Xavier has no idea what she is trying to get at.

"I'm trying not to let it out, to keep it in. All I want to do is to scream and shout and hit something. All that anger and rage". Her heart begins to race and her eyes turning dark.

"Demeter, look at me, hey, look at me. There you go, just focus on me, okay? You are stronger than this. I know you. You've made so much progress while you've been here. I know you have all that anger in you and I promise to help, but I need you to calm down. Please. Calm down, Demeter". He can see her fighting herself, trying to calm herself down. "Think back to the night of the bonfire and how happy you were that night. Think of something happy to help you".

His words are barely registering as she struggles with herself to calm down. The anger is there, all she has to do is let it out. Shaking her head, she repeats "I can't. I can't do it". She is in so pain and wants it to stop. There is only one way she knows how.

"Yes you can, Demeter. I know you can fight it, I've seen you do it before. You can do it again. You're stronger than those emotions. Don't let them consume you. Don't let them win".

"I just want it to end" she says, her eyes turning blue instead of black. "I don't want to feel anything… I don't want these feelings. I don't want their pain". She is crying now, unable to help herself. She genuinely doesn't know how she still has tears left in her body, but somehow she is crying.

Charles remembers back to when he was younger and said something similar, about not wanting people's pain. He understands what she is going through, and he wants to help her to the best of his abilities. "That pain can help you. You just have to embrace it, feel it. That is the greatest gift you and I can give to people - to bear their pain without breaking. You just need to have hope and faith that you can do it".

Demeter can't believe the amount of trust and faith that Xavier has in her. She can't remember the last time, if any time, someone believed in her this much. She nods, but continues to cry for another five minutes before her tears dry up. "I don't know what to do".

"You need to believe in yourself, in your abilities, in what you can do".

"And the pain? What do I do with that?"

"Use it, learn from it, grow from it, embrace it, and most of all, feel it. I know you don't want to feel it, believe me, I know. I've been there. But you can help people. You just have to learn how to control it".

"But how?'

"By letting me help you through this". He waits until she nods her head in acceptance to continue. "Let's begin".

*

It is another two hours before Demeter cannot physically handle any more training with Xavier. She is so physically exhausted that she passes out on Xavier's couch and has to be carried back to Logan's room by Remy. He lays her down and covers her with the comforter. He lays on top of the bed next to her for an hour, wanting to make sure she doesn't have any nightmares. Thankfully, she doesn't and he is able to leave.

Demeter wakes up four hours later, feeling better physically, but not mentally. She can still feel all the pain from the people she took it from and their memories associated with those feelings. The majority of them are from the people she killed. The most recent is Logan's, and that's the one haunting her now. All she wants is for the pain to end. She thinks back to her exchange with Xavier and how he said she should embrace it, but she can't see how. She tried in those two hours with him, but it didn't work, she just felt more pain. Her mind keeps slipping to thoughts of a permanent ending, but she pulls herself away from those as soon as she has them. Suicide isn't the answer, but it is looking better by the minute.

She needs to scream, to release the pain she is feeling. Demeter puts her shoes on and peeks out of the door, making sure no one is watching. She wants to get away, find a place where there is no one around for miles. Thankfully the mansion is out in the middle of nowhere in upstate New York - no one is around for miles. She creeps out of her room and then slips out the front door, knowing most people are either in their rooms, somewhere in the mansion, or in the backyard.

Demeter walks toward the main road for half a mile before turning off of it and hiking through the wooded area, finding a secluded spot away from everyone. She continues walking for roughly two miles before deciding this is a good place to stop. Her body is still sore from the training with the team, and she doesn't want to go any further due to that. She looks around to make sure no one is around, and is satisfied when she does not see a single soul. Demeter drops to her knees and lets out the loudest yell she has ever done in her entire life. Her whole body is shaking as she yells, gripping the ground beneath her in agony. She doesn't care at the moment that there are animals around and can feel the pain she is giving off - the forest sounds like an animal death musical from the noises the animals are making. She sits there on the ground, continuing to yell at the top of her lungs, punching and kicking the nearest rocks and trees.

*

Logan returns from the grocery store - he had to buy more cigars and alcohol - and hears about Xavier's session with Demeter and how Remy had to carry her out. He goes straight to the room to check on her, but she isn't there. He finds Remy and asks if he knows where she is. Remy tells him that the last time he saw her was when he left the room. His next logical place to look is in her own bedroom, but he doesn't find her there either. He searches all through the third and second floor, asking if anyone knows where she is. It isn't much of a shock none of them had seen her - Demeter always tries to stay clear of the students. Logan searches the first floor, but still is unable to find her. He asks Rogue and Hank if they have seen her, but neither has. He is starting to worry. ' _Come on, kid, where are you?_ ' he thinks.

Logan decides he should go to the professor for help, after all, he does have Cerebro. Logan barges in on his meeting with Scott and Jean, not really caring what they are discussing.

"What are you doing here Logan?" Scott asks, already annoyed at the intrusion.

"Logan, what is it" Xavier asks, in a much calmer manner than Scott.

"The kid, where is she?"

"Kid? You mean Demeter?"

"No, I mean the other kid that I brought back and have been spending my days with. Of course I mean Demeter. Now where is she?"

"I'm not sure Logan. I haven't seen her since our meeting this morning. Have you searched the school?" Xavier is already using his powers to search through the school to try and locate her.

"Yes I've looked. I can't find her. She didn't leave a note or anything. It's not like her to run away".  Logan's mind wonders to her being kidnapped by her former employers, but quickly disregards the thoughts, thinking that there would have been a struggle or at least a body or two left behind.

"Let me check Cerebro" he says, already moving towards the door. "My apologies Scott and Jean".

"It's okay, professor. Let us know if you need us to help find her" Jean says, smacking Scott's arm when he huffs at the idea.

"Thank you, Jean. I will be sure to let you know. Logan, come with me".

Logan follows the professor out of the room, through the secret entrance to the lower levels of the mansion and into the giant room with Cerebro."Wherever she is, she couldn't have gotten far. We'll find her Logan". He starts up the machine and concentrates on Demeter, locating her within a minute. "She's in the forest, about three miles away".

"Thanks, doc" he says as he practically sprints out of the room. As he runs outside, he remembers which direction she is in and runs towards her. He is surprisingly fast for how much adamantium he has in his body, making it to the spot she is in ten minutes. He finds her on the ground, hands bloody from hitting the rocks and trees, her yells turning into whimpers. "Dem, what happened" he asks, quickly moving to where she is curled up on the ground.

"Leave me alone" she mutters, her voice raspy from yelling so much.

"Not gonna happen, kid. Why'd you run away?" He is now sitting down next to her, his arm wrapping around her shoulders holding her close.

"I just wanted the pain to go away". She grips Logan tighter as she fully wraps herself around him.

"Ah, kid, I don't know if it will every fully go away. You gotta find a way to live with it. I know it sucks, but that's life" he speaks, stroking her hair and holding her closely.

"Life sucks"

"How well I know kid, how well I know". They sit there holding each other until he can feel her heartbeat is calm and steady. "Ready to go back?" She nods into his shoulder, and he takes it as yes. "Alright. Let's go" he says, picking her up as he stands. Thankfully she isn't heavy at all, because she holds on to him like a spider monkey the entire way back to the school.

When they arrive, Logan takes her straight to his room, not wanting her to be out of his sight. He lays her down on the bed and sits next to her, stroking her hair until she falls asleep.

*

Demeter wakes into consciousness sometime later to someone playing with her hands. She pops one eye open to see Logan cleaning and wrapping the wounds on her hands. She makes a sound that roughly resembles a grunt. "You don't have to do that" she mumbled, trying to turn over, but to no avail.

"Shut up. They need cleaning so you don't get an infection. Now stay still".

"Fuck you" she mumbles, closing her eyes and going pliant.

"Not today, kid", smirking to himself at his joke as he hears her make what sounds like an attempted growl. "I will growl right back at you. I'm almost done". She sighs in exasperation, hoping he'll go away soon. "I talked to the professor while you were clonked out".

She pops her eyes open and glares daggers at him. "And what did you and the professor have to say" she asks defensively, knowing where this is going.

"We agreed that you shouldn't be left alone for awhile".

"I don't need a fucking babysitter" she spits, yanking her hands away from him, "and I don't need you taking care of me". She is starting to get pissed at him. She doesn't need anyone to watch her. She isn't going to hurt herself and she doesn't need the pitying looks she knows they will give her.

"Really? Cause earlier you ran away and I found you in the woods crying with broken and bloodied fingers. Tell me, did you think about it" he asked, matching her level of annoyance.

"Think about what?" she snaps at him.

"You know what I mean. You said it yourself, you wanted the pain to go away".

She rolls her eyes at him, knowing exactly what he is talking about. "The thought flickered through my head, but I dismissed it just as quickly. All I wanted to do was get away for a minute. I needed space. I'm not a fucking prisoner here. If I want to leave, I should be able to leave". She is still glaring at him. She wants to hit him, but knows her hands are broken and it really isn't worth it at this point.

"You still thought about it". He rubs his hands over his face, thinking it is his pain that started this whole mess. "Look kid, if you feel low again, find someone to talk to. It could be me, the professor, Remy, Rogue, anyone. We want to help you".

"What if I don't feel like talkin' or being 'round people?" she asks, still slightly annoyed, but her defenses are starting to fall.

"That's when you come to me and we work it out on the mats, or you tell me that you want to be alone for a little while. Just be honest with us".

Demeter rolls her eyes again, growling in her throat. "If I say fine, will you leave me alone now?"

"No. Like I said, you're not be alone for a while" he says, pushing away the medical supplies and propping his feet up on the bed.

She lets out a defeated moan, flopping back down on the bed. She knows it is going to take some time before the team trusts her to be on her own. She also knows it is going to take her time before she feels comfortable around them again, to feel like she won't hurt them. It is going to take even longer for her to trust herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it was a difficult chapter. Please don't kill me!  
> The next chapter is much better - it has fluff and happiness in it, I promise!


	6. What Could Go Wrong With Shopping and Games?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly what the title says: shopping and games happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, this chapter is less angsty and much happier!

It has been a few weeks since her meltdown in the forest, and Demeter is finally doing better. She has her moments here and there, but the team is there for her and supports and helps her through these times. Her and Logan have it out on the mats a few times, her and Remy go for some runs together to work off the mood, and Rogue lets her cry as much as she needs to.

It is now September 30th, one day before Demeter's twenty-first birthday, and she cannot wait for the clock to strike midnight and be October 1st already. It is still early afternoon, and she is outside playing a pick-up game of basketball with a few others - it is at least one way to pass the time until her birthday. It is her, Remy, and Logan versus Rogue, Scott, and this kid named Bobby. Kurt and Hank are on the sidelines watching and refereeing the game. Demeter's team is up by one point; the score is 6-5 with the first team to 10 wins.

There is the occasional push and shove in the game, but no one pushes anyone down or is too physical thus far - just a friendly pick-up game. Scott passes the ball to Rogue, who dribbles a bit before passing it back to Scott. Normally Demeter covers Bobby, but him and Scott switched sides so that it is Demeter covering Scott. She keeps up with him, and despite her height disadvantage, she covers him fairly well. He dribbles the ball while reaching his arm out to keep a safe distance from her trying to steal the ball. Scott makes a quickstep and she matches him with her own before he decides to just barrel his way through her, knocking her down to the ground. Hank immediately calls a foul and has to step in between Remy and Logan before they get to Scott to yell at him for knocking Demeter down.

"It’s alright guys" she says as Rogue helps her to her feet. "I'm fine, see", gesturing to herself. "No harm, no foul… Well technically there is a foul, but that's just in the game. No need to be upset".

"Yeah, we'll see kid" Logan says, glaring over at Scott who just raises his hands defensively.

"My apologies, Demeter. I didn't mean to purposefully knock you down" Scott apologizes, putting on his best face in hopes of conveying his apologies.

"It's fine, Scott. Plus, I'll just get you back during training next week" she says, winking at him as she grabs the ball from his hands. "According to Hank, I believe I have a foul shot". She walks over to the foul line and waits until everyone lines up before she takes her shot, which she of course makes. The game continues on until Demeter's team wins 10-8.

"Look at dat, mon ami. Looks like Rogue 'n Scott are on dish duty tonight."

"I believe you're right, Remy. That was the terms of this little game, wasn't it?" she asks.

"I believe it was" he replies, smiling back at her, happy they don't have to do dishes tonight.

"Now what do I do?" she asks.

"Whaddya mean, kid?"

"I mean" she sighs, rolling her eyes and voice sounding like a complaining child, "what do I do now to waste some time before midnight tonight?"

"And what's happenin' at midnight tonight ,mon ami?" Remy teases, already knowing what is going on that night, but he feels like messing with her.

"Yeah, kid, what's tonight?" It is amazing that they are all able to keep at straight face when Demeter is ~~looking~~ glaring at them.

"You know what tonight is. More importantly, you know what tomorrow is. And" she speaks so matter-of-factly, "I expect lots of presents from everyone".

"Presents for what, Sugar?" Rogue chimes in, poking Demeter in her sides at the teasing.

"Presents for me! In all seriousness though. This will be my first birthday that I get to celebrate in sixteen years. All of my birthdays with _them_ meant nothing. I didn't do anything for them. Hell, I was out on missions for most of them.  This year is different. This year I get to celebrate it with people who I care about. This year's will actually mean something".

Logan and Remy each hug her at the same time, and everyone else except for Bobby (who is gone by then) joins in, including Scott.

"We care about you too, you little Rugrat". Logan kisses her forehead and then gives her a noogie.

"Yeah, we's fond of ya, Chère".

"All right, all right, enough mushiness" she says, lightly pushing everyone off of her. "Now, what to do to keep me occupied until midnight?"

"You could always do a danger room session" Scott suggests.

"That's a last resort" she deadpans back. "Any other suggestions, anyone?"

"You could come see a movie with me? We can make it a girls day out, even grab Ororo and Jean too".

"Can we?" she questions, suddenly excited at the idea.

"Of course, Sugar. Let's freshin' up a bit and then we can grab them and go. I hear the movie 'This is Where I Leave You' is pretty good. We can see that and then go to the mall for some shopping".

"That sounds like a plan to me!" She turns to look at everyone else and say "bye!" before she runs off to get her shower and ready for her girls day/night out.

*

Forty minutes later Demeter, Rogue, Ororo, and Jean are leaving for their adventure.  They see the movie first and absolutely love it. It is a good comedy/drama and does its job of passing time. Next, they hit the mall to do some shopping. Rogue purchases two shirts and a pair of cute shorts. Ororo buys a long black dress with a new pair of sandals. Jean buys a new pair of shoes and a new purse. Demeter takes more the fragrance section of stores and ends up buying Gucci Guilty Black fragrance for women, and she buys a Mountain Lodge scented candle.

They are walking past the food court to the exit when they se a man and woman arguing in front of everyone. Rogue is about ready to go over and punch the man because he is full on shouting, but before she can, the man suddenly appears ill and runs to the bathroom, giving the woman enough time to make a getaway. Once the women reach their car and settled in, Jean turns around to face Demeter who is in the backseat.

"So, want to tell us what that was about back there?" she asks, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

Demeter replie "I have no idea what you mean" as calmly and straight-face as she can.

"Uh-huh, and I'm blond" she retorts.

Demeter looks around and everyone in the car is staring at her, waiting for her answer. After a dramatic eye-roll she answers. "That guy was being a jerk. All I did was make him feel like he was sick and needed to go to the bathroom. I don't see what the big deal is".

"We do not use our powers on humans, at least those who are not harming us or others" Ororo says, sounding solemn and somewhat disappointed.

"He was embarrassing her. I read her emotions and she didn't deserve to be yelled at like that". Demeter can't understand why they are disappointed in her.

"He was still human. We shouldn't abuse our powers like that. If he was hitting her or being aggressive in any other way, then maybe. But we can't interfere like that, it's not fair to them. It also wasn't fair for you to have read her like that" Jean rebukes.

"Okay, fine, whatever. Can we just go back the school?" Demeter still doesn't understand what she did wrong and why they scolded her for it. She was just trying to help that woman out. Demeter sulks in the backseat, looking out the window the entire time and not saying one word the rest of the trip back.

Thankfully the trip is only thirty minutes of pure silence and awkwardness. As soon as they pull up, Demeter hops out of the car and heads straight in, leaving the three women in the car staring at her and shaking their heads.

Logan sees her walk in and greets her with a half smile and wave. "Hey kid, how was the girls day out?"

"Fine. I'm going to my room". She barely glances at him before she makes her way up the stairs and to her room on the third floor. She throws her bags on the chair once she is inside and walks over to the bed, laying down, and pulling the blankets around her in a cocoon.

*

Logan waits for the rest of the bunch to walk in to ask them what happened. As soon as they are through the door he is asking them "What happened? Why is she in a bad mood?"

"She used her powers on a human and we told her she shouldn't do that" Ororo replies.

"What did she do? What happened?"

"She saw some guy yelling at some woman and she made him feel sick enough that he ran to the bathroom". Rogue shrugs her shoulders, not really taking any side in this argument.

"Ah, I see. Was he being a dick or something?"

"Nah, he was just yellin' away. She said she read the woman's emotions and felt her embarrassment, so she did something about it. She was discreet, no one knew or anything".

"Ah great. I'll go talk to her" he says, already turning to go up the stairs. He makes his way up and finds himself in front of her door. He takes a deep breath and then knocks, hoping that she will answer.

"Go away" is all he hears.

"No can do, kid. Let me in".

"No. Now go away".

"I'm not leaving until you let me in and talk about this".

"There's nothing to talk about, now GO AWAY"

He sighs to himself. _'They always want to do it the hard way_ ' he thinks. "Kid, open this door right now or I swear I'll break it down".

Letting out a loud and annoyed "ugh", Demeter gets up and unlocks the door, turning around and going right back to her bed. She lays back down, making sure that she is facing away from Logan as he walks in.

"Tell me about it" he says as he takes a seat on the edge of her bed.

"Why, what's the point? I'm sure one of them told you and I'm sure you sided with them."

"You know what assuming makes don't you" he asks, waiting until she shakes her head no before continuing. "Assuming makes an ass out of 'u' and me". She can't help the snort that escapes her throat on that terrible saying. She rolls over so that she is staring at him with sad eyes. "There you are. Now tell me what happened".

She takes a deep breath and explains what happened. "This woman was getting yelled at by this dude, and I didn't like it. She was embarrassed so I helped her out a little bit. All I did was make him feel like his stomach was upset. I don't see what was so bad about that. I feel like people should be proud that I didn't kill him".

"Trust me, we are proud. I think why Jean and Ororo were upset was because they don't think mutants should use their powers on humans, unless it's a life or death situation. I on the other hand think humans suck and that sometimes we should use our powers on 'em. Maybe not all the time, just sometimes, you know, if people are being assholes".

"He was being an asshole".

"I'm sure he was. Maybe next time, just let people handle their own battles, okay? Don't always need to meddle in other people's business".

"Fine, alright. Next time I'll just let the person be a jerk".

"Good. Now, you wanna come downstairs and eat and then have game night with the rest of us chumps?"

"I suppose". She holds out her hands for him to help her up out of bed. "Let's go, big guy".

*

Game night proves that these people should never play board games or card games of any kind with each other. The group kicks game night off with a game of Sorry. That isn't so bad - people keep their cool during the game. The next game up is Yatzee, which isn't so bad. The third game is Monopoly. This makes people be a little edgy and competitive with each other. Uno is next, which ends up with Remy and Demeter not speaking to each other afterwards. Let's just say that she uses one too many skip and reverse cards and he hits her with a draw four card. Remy wins Uno which Demeter is not too happy about. To end game night, the group decids to play Risk - big fucking mistake. Logan storms off after he loses to Ororo; Jean and Remy have a glare-off; and Remy and Demeter fight it out for first place - Demeter wins and rules the world. Everyone is up and arms with each other and does not speak one word to anyone for the rest of the night, which subsequently ends right after the game. Demeter grunts at everyone and heads upstairs to bed. It is almost midnight by the time she falls asleep. When she wakes up in the morning, she will officially be twenty-one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is cause for celebration in the next chapter (whoo whoo)! 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me though this story. I know it's a rollercoaster of emotions, but it does eventually have a happy ending.


	7. Birthday Delight!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demeter has a birthday! Lots and presents and dancing happens. Hangovers are the worst. Comfy couches and blankets are the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fun, happy chapter (finally, I know)!

Demeter is woken up by the team as they barge into her room singing Happy Birthday. Needless to say she throws all of her pillows at everyone for waking her up at the ungodly hour of 8am. Granted, she used to get up much earlier than this at her previous facility, but since then she's let herself sleep in to seven or eight (depends on if it is a rough night or not) in the morning. Through all of their singing, Demeter notices Kurt is carrying a tray full of breakfast foods - her absolute favorites. Ever since being with the team, breakfast foods have become her favorite. She doesn't know why, and she doesn't care. The group wraps up the song and cheer at the end of it. She thanks them and throws a not so subtle side glance at Kurt for him to give her the food. Thankfully he obliges.

"Thank you all so much" she says, taking a bite from the bagel with strawberry cream cheese on it. "I really appreciate it. Thank you". She feels so lucky to finally be around people who love and care for her. She hasn't gotten to celebrate a birthday since she was five, but she imagines that this is the right way to kick a birthday day off.

"You're welcome, kid. Happy birthday".

"Happy birthday, Sugar! We're gonna have so much fun today". Demeter will never understand how Rogue can be so cheerful so early in the morning.

"I hope you got a good night's sleep. We have a busy day planned for you" Jean informs her, looking over at Ororo and Kitty, who are each smiling in that 'we-know-the-plans-but-you-don't' look.

"Oh, we're going to have so much fun!" Apparently Kitty drank whatever Rogue did this morning because she is practically bouncing.

"Happy twenty-first mon ami. It's gonna be a fun night".

"Is anyone going to tell me what they have planned for me today, or no?" Demeter really wants to know, but at the same time she really wants to be surprised.

"Nope. Finish eating and get dressed" Logan says.

"Why?"

"Because you're commin' with us, that's why". Rogue gestures to herself, Jean, Ororo, and Kitty as she speaks. "We're takin' you out this morning. And you're gonna love it".

"Okay". She fight the grin that wants to take place on her face. From the sounds of it, she is going to have a great birthday.

*

It is almost nine-thirty by the time the girls leave the school. Jean tells her to dress comfortably, so Demeter decides to wear a pair of yoga pants and a loose fitting t-shirt. She has no idea where they are taking her, but everyone assures her that she will like what they have planned. From what she's gathered, the women are in charge of planning the morning and afternoon, and the men are in charge of planning the evening.

As soon as they pull up to their destination, Demeter almost shrieks from happiness. The women are treating her to a spa day. "Oh my God, you guys are taking me to a spa!"

"Yes we are. We all thought that you were deserving of a very relaxing day. We also figured you've never been to a spa before, so we thought you would like it" Jean says, pulling into the parking space and turning off the car.

"I love it. I have actually been to a spa, but it was for a mission, so it doesn't count. This is going to be great". Demeter can barely contain her enthusiasm as the ladies get out of the car and walk into the building.

The receptionist for the business greets them with a friendly smile and has each of them fill out the paperwork that is requires before getting their treatments.

"Just wait and see what we picked out for you. You're gonna love it". Kitty is just as excited as Demeter. They're both young and have never gotten to fully enjoy a spa before.

"What all am I getting?" Demeter can't help but be a little curious as to what treatments they picked for her.

"A massage, a body wrap, a facial, and hot stones". Ororo looked like she is ready to be pampered by the staff as well. In fact, all of the women are ready and deserving of a little pampering.

"That's a lot. All you sure?" Demeter hates people spending money on her, although she does love gifts.

"Yes we're sure. This is a gift from all of us women. Happy birthday Demeter". Jean gives her a quick hug before they are led back to their individual rooms of their treatments.

Every treatment that Demeter receives is pure gold. Her Swedish massage lasts half an hour, which relieves almost all of her muscles in her body. Parker, the masseuse, really knows what he is doing. The next treatment she receives is the body wrap. Her skin isn't bad before hand, but boy can she tell a difference afterwards. She feels like she is able to breathe better because her skin feels clearer and more open. And she gets to have mud on her for an hour - what could be better. The next treatment is a mini-facial. Her pores never felt more open and unclogged before in her life. ' _Why have I never done this before_ '. To wrap up her amazing and relaxing spa day, Demeter gets a hot stones massage, which feels like heaven on her body. She is going to have to start treating herself to some of these massages on a monthly basis if it always feels this good.

She looks and feels so relaxed and at peace with the world when she emerges in the front lobby to find everyone waiting for her. "Hi" she mumbles.

"Looks like someone had a good time" Jean says.

"We need to do this more often". Kitty is absolutely right, and Demeter couldn't agree more.

"That was relaxing, I must admit" Ororo saus, always sounding so somber but happy.

"Well, Sugar, let's get you some lunch and then we'll head back to the school. Sound good?"

"Anything sounds good right now. I feel like I'm floating".

"If it keeps you this calm, we might just have to hire a personal masseuse for you at the school" Jean jokes.

"Mmmm, I like that".

Rogue chuckles at her. "Keep dreamin', darlin'. Now let's get outta here".

The women take her to her favorite Chinese restaurant. Demeter never orders anything but the crab rangoon and sugar doughnuts (which she splits the dozen of doughnuts with the group). Crab rangoon and the doughnuts are her second favorite comfort food, next to her favorite cereal. "I might have to have a birthday more often if this is what it gets me. Seriously, thank you all so much. I've enjoyed everything so far. You all are amazing and I'm incredibly lucky to have you all in my life".

Everyone at the table lets out a collective "aw" and each tell her how happy they are to have her in their lives. Half an hour later they leave to head back to the school. Everyone is in such high spirits. Demeter can't be more grateful for that fateful day when she went to capture Logan all those months ago. It led her to these amazing people, and for that, she will always be grateful for.

It is close to 1:30 in the afternoon by the time they return from their outing. Rogue tells her to go relax for a few hours, but to be ready to go out by 6 o'clock. Demeter, still feeling relaxed, walks up to her room to take a nap for an hour. When she wakes up, she finishes reading "The Picture of Dorian Gray". This is the last of her Oscar Wilde books that she's wanted to read. The next author up in her lineup is F. Scott Fitzgerald and then Ernest Hemingway - she is a sucker for the classics. It is around 4 o'clock when she finishes reading her book. That left two hours to spare before she leaves to do God knows what. She hops in the shower real quick, washing her hair and shaving her legs and armpits. ' _Probably should have asked for a waxing while I was there'_. When she finishes with her shower, she blow dries her hair and decides on what she is going to wear tonight. She picks out tight fitting black pants, a cute white shirt that crisscrosses in the back, and a lightweight, black leather jacket. Before she is able to apply any make-up (not that she needs it), there is a knock on her door. "Coming" she yells. She opens the door to find Remy staring at her. "Hey, Rem, what's up?

"You look beautiful, mon ami". She blushes at the compliment. "I was sent to come see if you was ready".

"Ready? I thought we weren't leaving for another hour".

"We're not. But you didn't really tink we'd take you out on an empty stomach did ya?"

"I don't know. I don't even know what you all have planned for me later".

"Oh trust me, chère, we have some'ting fun planned for you tonight. In da meantime, come eat".

"Okay, lead the way my good sir". She shuts her door, linked arms with Remy, and walks downstairs with him. She did not expect the entire kitchen and lounge area to be decorated with birthday decorations.

"SURPRISE" everyone yells in unison.

"Oh my God! This is fantastic". Demeter is so touched that they would do this for her.

"Happy birthday, kid".

"Thanks, Logan" she says, hugging him and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "This is amazing".

"We put most of the decorations up while you were out. Hope you like it".

"I love it. Thank you".

Everyone comes up to wish her a happy birthday. She thanks them all and is unable to help the face-splitting smile on her face.

"Let's eat" Kurt announces to everyone.

"Like he said, let's eat". Logan pats Kurt on the back while he passes him to get to the food.

The men made tacos, burgers, french fries, a salad, grilled chicken, and potato salad. Everything looks and smells delicious, and Demeter can't wait to have it all in her belly. She never noticed it before she started living with them, but she can pack away the food just as good as a guy. Everyone grabs their plates and sits down wherever there is space, whether it is in the kitchen or the lounge area.

Midway through the meal, Scott glances over at Logan and Remy and nods at them, nudging them on to the next step in their plan. "Alright everyone, listen up" Logan announces.

"I tink dis is da part when Dem gets to open some presents" Remy says, looking over at Demeter and winking with a huge grin on his face.

"Really? You guys got me presents?" She is so excited to open presents. The only presents she's gotten to open in the past fifteen years are ones from marks on her long missions.

"Of course we did. You didn't think we wouldn't get you any presents, did you" Hank asks.

"I didn't know. I haven't gotten presents, in well, fifteen years. The ones I got in between don't really count".

"I suppose not" he says, chuckling at the honesty and enthusiasm in her answer.

"This one is from me". Hank hands her the present he got her.

"Oh, thank you" she replies, grabbing the gift from him and tearing the wrapper off. She feels like what she imagines a kid on Christmas feels. Hank got her a series of films he thought she will enjoy: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", "The Breakfast Club", "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", "Warrior", and "Shame". Since being at the school, Demeter has turned into a huge movie buff, and is always excited to watch a new film she hasn't seen yet. "These are awesome, thank you so much Hank" she beams, giving him a big hug in the process.

"You're quite welcome, dear. I hope you enjoy them".

"I don't think you have to worry about that" she says.

"Me next" Kurt says, hopping up from his spot at the table. He grabs his bag of gifts and hands them over to her. "Here you go".

"Thanks, Kurt". She opens the bag and sees four amazing wall art pieces for her room. Three of them deal with film, and the forth is an inspirational piece that reads 'create something every day, let life be imperfect, be kind, have a grateful heart, be yourself, dream big'. She didn't have any personal belongings when she first got to the school, and she's never decorated her room since moving in. She loves each piece that Kurt got her, knowing that they are personal to her. "Aw, thank you so much, Kurt. I love them". She gives him a hug, squeezing him tightly. Kurt feels like a younger brother to her, even though he is older than her.

"You're welcome. Happy birthday Demeter".

The professor rolls up to her and handing her his gift next. "Happy birthday Demeter".

"Oh, professor, you didn't have to get me anything. You already let me live here rent free. And you put up with my moods. I'd call that present enough" she says, taking the present he offers her.

"Nonsense. I love having you here. Now, please, open your gift and enjoy".

Demeter opens the box and sees that there is a Captain America journal, a painting of an arrow, a first edition copy of the book Frankenstein, and a gift card to Target. "Oh, thank you so much, professor! These are amazing". She is so happy about these gifts. Frankenstein is one of her favorite books, so she is thrilled at the first edition copy. "I can't believe you remembered that my favorite Avengers are Captain America and Hawkeye".

"Of course I remember. Who knows, maybe one day you'll get to meet them. They are only a few hours south of here, you know".

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. We'll see. Maybe one day I'll take a road trip and see all of the places I never got to when I was… younger".

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. I do hope you do it. Happy birthday Demeter".

"Thank you, professor".

Scott is apparently up next in the line of gift giving. He hands her his gift and wishes her a happy birthday. "Thank you, Scott" she says, reaching out and lightly squeezing his arm in appreciation.

"I didn't really know what to get you, so I hope you like it" he sounds uneasy and not sure of himself.

Demeter opens the card and sees it is a gift card to the local movie theater. "Scott, this is amazing. I love it. Thank you" she stands, giving him a quick hug, letting him know that she means what she says.

"You're welcome. Happy birthday, Demeter".

She smiles back at him, knowing that Scott is making huge strides in getting to know her better - they didn't start off on the best of terms, so each person is taking steps to get to know the other better and feel more comfortable around the other.

"Looks like I'm next, kid" Logan says, walking up to her, handing her his gift. "Hope you like it. If not, too bad".

She snorts at him. "Thanks, Logan". She opens the card and sees a hundred dollars cash and two tickets to a major league baseball game. "Logan". She sounds awestruck at his gifts. "I love it, thank you" she says, wrapping him in a big hug. "I guess this means you want me to take you to a game" she teases, jabbing his sides and laughs.

"Take whoever. They're your tickets and you're free to take whoever you want. Happy birthday, kid".

"Thank you, Logan".

"And last but not least, dat leaves me. Here you are, mon ami. Enjoy".

"Thanks, Remy" she says, taking the box he hands her. Opening it up, she gapes at the contents. There us a new hunting knife (much like the one she used to use for torturing and killing people), a bottle of some fruity Champaign, chocolate, and a couple of movies ("Master of Disguise", "Mercy", "Crazy, Stupid Love", and "The Town"). She practically screeches as she drops the box on the table and jumps up on Remy, giving him a full hug with her legs wrapping around his waist and her arms around his neck. "Thank you so much" she says in excitement, giving him a big, wet kiss on both of his cheeks. "I love it".

He laughs at her excitement. "I'm glad you like it, Dem. I thought you were missin' a certain weapon, so I figured I'd get it for ya".

"Remy, this is amazing. Thank you". This is the first time since she arrived that she is allowed to use a weapon (other than a knife for cooking and stuff like that). Not only does it mean that they know her really well, but that they trust her enough to have it.

"Thank you all so much for everything. To the wonderful ladies, thank you for this morning and afternoon. I am all for spa day whenever you want to do it. And to the fellas, thank you for all of these gifts and cooking. I absolutely love everything that you all got me. You all are the best. Thank you for making this birthday special".

"Aw, Sugar, you're welcome. We all love ya" Rogue says, grabbing Demeter and giving her a tight hug.

"All right people, finish eating. We're leaving in fifteen minutes" Scott announces.

*

When they said they were taking her out, Demeter never expected this. They pull up to a popular nightclub in the closest city, easily getting in without any hassle - one of them knows the owner or bouncer. Once they are inside, they are greeted by a beautiful blond, who introduces herself to Demeter as Alison - the rest of the team knows her as Dazzler.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you, Alison".

"It's nice to meet you too. Come in, have fun, dance the  night away, get drunk, sing a little. I hear you're twenty-one today, so your first official legal drink is on the house - I'd make it the most expensive thing we have if I were you" she welcomes her with a smile, hugging Demeter and then saying her hellos to the rest of the gang.

"She seems nice" she says to Logan.

"Yeah, she's a clubber. She sings and dances, it's sorta her thing. She actually owns this place".

"Oh, well that's cool" she says as she is being shuffled over to the bar. "So, what should I get for my first official legal drink?"

"A shot of Gray Goose" Scott shouts - it is loud so everyone has to shout.

"Nah, a shot of Johnny Walker" Remy suggests.

"Get a shot of Gran Patron" Rogue shouts.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you all were trying to get me drunk". Turning to the bartender, she orders "One shot of Gray Goose please".

"Coming right up".

When the bartender brings her the drink, she turns around to the group, yelling "Cheers"! She downs the shot and makes the nastiest face - that kind of alcohol never tastes great, no matter how expensive it is. "Alright, time for a fruity drink".

"Bartender, five Sex on the Beach's for the ladies please". Thank God for Rogue, because she is amazing and knows just what to order.

"Four beers for the men, and a shot of scotch". Leave it to Logan to order the "manliest" drink he can. Men don't know what their missing out on by not drinking the fruity drinks. Seriously, they're sweet and delicious and get you the perfect amount of buzzed and tipsy.

"Let's dance!" Kitty grabs Demeter's arm and drags her to the dance floor, all while never spilling one drop of her drink. "This is so much fun!" Kitty is twenty-two, so she had her fun night out last year, but she sure does love to party.

They dance for hours and drink just as long. Throughout the night, Demeter is given a Bahama Mama, a Blue Hawaiian, a Pearl Harbor, a Wet Pussy (and yes, that is a real drink), a few more shots, and a Zombie. The worst, yet best dance off happens between the ladies and men. Kitty falls at least once, Demeter trips over her feet but manages not fall, and Kurt falls after tripping over himself. They dance off to the best song ever - Dancing Queen by the A*Teens. The men feel ridiculous, but who honestly cares at this point. They also dance to It Take Two by Rob Base, and It's Like That by RUN-DMC and Jason Nevins. Demeter learns that Logan and Hank have absolutely no rhythm to them at all, and Scott is terribly uncoordinated on the dance floor. Jean and Ororo surprisingly have great rhythm and out-dance most people there. Demeter knows how to dance; she had many lessons when working with her former company. Her, Rogue, and Kitty are in a circle dancing sexy with each other. They attract a group of dudes over, but like any group of sane women would do, they shut them out and dance the night away with each other.

It is around 1:30 in the morning by the time they decide to leave. Logan, Hank, and Scott are the only ones who aren't completely hammered or plain old drunk. Scott assists Jean to the car, Logan carries Demeter, Rogue has Kitty (even though Rogue is a little drunk), Hank helps Kurt to the car, and Ororo manages to walk to the car herself.

They get back to the school and everyone wishes Demeter a happy birthday before stumbling off to their own rooms. Logan takes Demeter up to her own room - no way he is dealing with that mess in the morning - and tucks her in, leaving two Aspirins and a bottle of water on her nightstand for whenever she wakes up. Before he leaves, he hears her slur "Tanks, Logan. Night's good. S'love ya".

He whispers "night, kid" before shutting her door and going down to his room for a well deserved night of sleep.

*

Needless to say, when Demeter wakes the next morning, she has a pounding headache raging inside her brain. "Ugh, why…" she grumbles out. ' _God bless Logan_ 'she thinks as she sees the Aspirin and water on her nightstand. She takes the pills and considers her life and the decisions she made last night. ' _Maybe shouldn't have taken those last couple of shots_ '. She also thinks about how yesterday was the best birthday she could have ever asked for. ' _Should have had the spa day this morning'_ , thinking that she could use those massages now instead of yesterday. Begrudgingly she slowly sits up, wanting to puke, but manages to keep it down. "This is gonna be a hell of a day" she mumbles. She slowly dresses and makes her way downstairs. She figures she is going to spend her day lounging on the couch watching movies and sleeping, or laying in Logan's bed curled up under the covers thinking how she should never drink like that again, or a good mixture of both.

She heads toward the kitchen for some more water, finding Logan there reading the paper and drinking coffee. "Hi" she grumbles.

"Morning, sunshine. How ya feelin'" he asks, a smug grin on his face.

"Fuck you"

"I don't think you're in the right condition for that right now. Want some orange juice or coffee?"

"Ugh, no. Don't. I swear I will puke on you". She shuffles over to the cupboard to grab a cup and fill it with water. "I think I'll stick to water, thanks".

"Suit yourself. If it makes you feel any better, Kitty isn't doing much better than you, neither is Kurt".

"That doesn't really help. And will you stop yelling". Her head hurts so badly. She doesn't want to hear people talk or see a single light.

"I'm not yelling. What are your plans for today?"

"Dying. That's my plan. I'm going to die".

"Sounds lovely".

"Yup. I'm going to go die on the couch".

"You're gonna have to share it with Kitty".

"Don't care". She passes Logan to get to the couch in the other room, noting the stupid grin on his face. "Fucking healing factor. It's fucking bullshit. Fucking-son-of-goddamn-asshole-fucker." she mumbles under her breath. She makes her way to the couch and cuddles up under the blanket with Kitty. They both lay there with the television on, barely audible, and slipping in and out of consciousness. About three hours later she wakes up and decides she should eat something. She makes her way to the kitchen to get something to eat. She makes herself one egg and has a banana. It isn't much, but her stomach isn't able to handle much more. After she finishes eating, she shuffles herself to Logan's room and curles up under the blankets on his bed. "Mhmm, comfy". She closes her eyes and lets her mind carry her off to sleep.

She wakes up for dinner, but her body finally decides to purge the alcohol out of her. Luckily she makes it to the bathroom, puking in the toilet. ' _Never fucking again_ ' she thinks. Demeter rinses her mouth out with water and returns to the kitchen.

"Feel better" Logan says.

"No". She eats a piece of peanut butter banana toast and returns to Logan's room to sleep the rest of the day away. She considers how lucky she is to finally be surrounded by people who love her and actually care about her, despite letting her get bat shit drunk last night. She finally starts to feel like this is family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next three chapters are holiday chapters - Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas/New Years.
> 
> I hope you all are enjoying the story!


	8. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The going on's of the mansion on Halloween.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a ridiculously short chapter. It just deals with Halloween.
> 
> As usual, if I missed anything in the tags, please let me know.

Much like every other holiday so far this year, this is the first Halloween that Demeter actually gets to enjoy. She asks everyone if they got dressed up and went out trick-or-treating with the younger kids, and some say yes while others say no. The professor asks Demeter to take some of the children out to go trick-or-treating; who safer to be with and know if anyone is trying to give the kids bad candy or abduct them. Other chaperones include Jean, Ororo, Hank (who loves Halloween because people don't question that he is blue and furry), and Scott.

Demeter decides to dress up as the Greek Goddess whom she is named after. She wears what can basically be described as a white sheet made to look like a Greek toga, and gladiator sandals. It is a little chilly outside, but nowhere cold enough for her outfit to be weather inappropriate. Her group of children consist of three 6 year olds, two 8 year olds, and three 10 ten year olds. It isn't  a bad group. Three of the girls dress up as Disney princesses, and one girl dresses up as Black Widow (she even has the naturally red hair to match). Two boys dress as Captain America, one dresses like Thor, and one like Batman. ' _At least we have a good theme going here, minus the princesses of course_ 'she observes.

The group head out and hit each and every house that has a bucket of candy in front of it. Some houses are decked out with decorations, while others are not decorated but still possess candy. The kids love getting to go up to each house and ask "trick-or-treat".

There is this one house that was crazy decorated. It has the music from the film Halloween playing, and the man who owns the house is dressed up like Mike Myers from the film (the killer), and actually has the movies playing in the background. ' _Dear Lord, someone likes the Halloween films_ 'she thinks. "Okay kids, who wants to go up and ask 'trick-or-treat'?" The younger ones shake their heads no, too afraid of the man dressed as a killer. She can't blame them; if she were in their shoes, she probably wouldn't go up either. The older ones are all too excited to go up and face the man in the mask. Demeter of course does her job and makes sure that the guy isn't actually some lunatic and isn't trying to harm the kids.

The boy and the one girl who brave going up come back down so excited. You would have thought they were Thorin who just defeated a mighty Orc. She congratulates them and makes sure they each gave the three younger ones the piece of candy they grabbed for them.

They continue on in their pursuit to hit as many houses as possible before they have to return back to the school. Each of her kid's has full pillow cases when they return home. They honestly look like little dwarves who are carrying bags of gold. It certainly is a sight to see. She helps the six year olds carry their bags back - the cases are practically as big as the kids are. She helps each of them sort out their candy and oversees the Great Candy Trade of 2014, in which each kid trades a candy they don't like for one they do with another kid. ' _Thank God they're not my kids and I don't have to deal with their inevitable sugar high they're gonna have_ '.

She commissions a piece of candy from each kid in her group as her reward for a successful mission of taking them out to do their bidding without any casualties. She meets up with Kurt and Kitty on the couch to watch a slew of bad Halloween themed movies. Seriously, the old black and white versions of "Dracula" and "Frankenstein" are not the best ever, but they are good enough to keep her focused on the movies. They finish the night out by watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas". It is the first time she's seen any of these movies, so she loves the experience of watching them with her friends. "Happy Halloween" she says, putting her arms around her two friends and relaxing after a fun-filled night with the youngsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two holiday chapters are longer, I promise.


	9. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demeter learns what Thanksgiving means to her. New traditions and memories are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing terrible happens in this chapter, which is always nice. It's another short chapter, but at least it's a little longer than the Halloween chapter. Enjoy!

"What the actual fuck is happening?" Demeter doesn't say it to anyone in particular, just more of a shocked general statement at what she is seeing. All Demeter wants to do is go to the kitchen for get a glass of orange juice after she wakes up, but no. She is greeted with the sight of six women and three men scurrying all over the kitchen, baking and preparing dishes to be cooked later. ' _I don't even know half of these people… Seriously, who the fuck are they? Why are they in the kitchen. What are they doing?_ '. She can't stop her mind from racing with questions. "Seriously, what the fuck is happening" she asks a little louder, still to no one in particular, but hoping someone hears.

"We're cooking. You know, getting ready for tonight" Piotr (aka Colossus) says.

Demeter's seen him around some, but his presence is more like a swinging door. "I get that, but why so early and why so much?"

"There's a lot of students here who weren't able to go home for the holidays, so we have to feed them plus us" he says, moving over to sprinkle cheese onto God knows what.

"Right… I'm just gonna get a glass of orange juice". The kitchen looks like a stage for a terribly strung ballet. She has to dodge a few bodies to get to the refrigerator and quickly pours herself a glass and leaves the war zone that is the kitchen.

Holidays don't mean much to her. It isn't like she got to celebrate them or anything. Most of her holidays were either spent on missions or at the base training and preparing for future missions. She certainly never had a full spread meal like the one they are concocting in the kitchen. Demeter figures it best if she just plays along with the flow of things when it comes to holidays.

*

She locates Jean in the library, organizing the books in alphabetical order. "Glad to know I'm not the only one whose a little OCD when it comes to that" Demeter announces, clearing spooking Jean who didn't hear Demeter walk in.

"Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack" she gasps, clutching her chest to add to the effect.

"Glad to know you think of me as Jesus" she replies, winking at the other woman.

"So, what are you doing here? Do you need anything?" Jean and Demeter do not interact much, but it isn't like they aren't friends or anything.

"Yeah, actually. I wanted to talk to you about something". Demeter is nervous to have this conversation. She doesn't talk about her lack of experiences when it comes to events like this, so she doesn't really know how to approach it.

"Sure, what's going on?" Jean looks concern, knowing that Demeter never comes to her for _talks_.

"I um… I wanted you to tell me about… you know, like… holiday stuff… Traditions and stuff like that. I never had the chance to experience them, not really. I never even had missions that dealt with holidays. There was one in Russia, but that doesn't count. He threw a box of earrings at me and called it Christmas". She shrugs on that last part, but is looking down at her feet, unsure of how Jean will respond.

"Of course I'll tell you. Here" she gestures to the empty chair, "come sit". Jean waits until she is settled before she continues into a full on information overload with holidays. She tells Demeter that Thanksgiving is typically when people eat turkey (amongst other foods) and share what they are thankful for.

Demeter had history lessons as a kid, so she knows the history of the holiday. She's also watched videos of families during holidays, getting to see how a "normal" family should look like during those types of situations (in case a mission required it) - she just doesn't know if that is how families actually interact or not. Jean goes on to describe that someone will most likely bring up embarrassing stories about someone else, and how that will kick off the embarrassing stories war of the evening. She also informs her that there are football games on tv for Thanksgivings and live coverage of parades. There is also quite a lot of pie eating and people chatting with each other about this and that, catching up on what they have missed since they've last seen each other.

"Wow… Okay. That's a lot to take in, but I think I can handle it all. Nothing too hard". She thinks about it for a second, then has to ask "Do I have to help bake?"

"Only if you want. Although, Piotr and the others might kick you out of the kitchen - they're pretty possessive of it on holidays. Have you ever cooked a holiday meal?"

"I've cooked items that could be eaten on a holiday,  but never an actual holiday meal. I had to learn how to cook for missions and stuff. I'm pretty handy in the kitchen when I want to be". Demeter has cooked for everyone before, but it is always simple, elegant meals, nothing too fancy or difficult to make. "So, what do I do before this big dinner of ours?"

"You could do anything. The day is yours to spend how you like. Once dinner happens, you will be required to come and eat as much as you can. Knowing Piotr, there will be enough food to feed the Russian army". Jean is being extremely nice, making sure to keep the topic light and happy, not wanting Demeter to feel awkward for never having experienced Thanksgiving. "I think the guys, and probably Rogue, are outside playing football. You could always join them or watch. Or, you could watch the parades on tv or the football games later on. Do whatever you want".

"Thanks Jean" she says, hugging the redhead out of appreciation. "I think I might have to spy on said football game".

*

After putting on some warmer clothes (it is winter in NY - it is freezing out), she goes out to the field behind the school and watches the football game. The teams are pretty evenly split; they make it a no power game. With Kurt playing, it wouldn't even be fair since he could just teleport into the endzone. The group looks like they are all having a good time, except of course when they're being tackled to the ground - some of those hits look like they hurt. But everyone gets up with a smile on their face. Demeter decides to cheer equally for both sides, not really caring which team wins and which team loses.

Unlike a real game of football, there are no field goals, just touchdowns. Nothing is funnier than seeing Hank do a touchdown dance in the made-up endzone. Most people rotate being the quarterback and being receivers. It actually turns out to be a pretty fun game to watch - it lasts for an hour after Demeter arrives outside to watch it. Scott's team, consisting of him, Rogue, and Remy win, with the final score being 35-21.

Afterwards, everyone goes inside to warm up and watch the real football games. She loves sports, so she knows that the Detroit Lions always play on Thanksgiving. The Lions beat the Bears 34-17; the Eagles beat the Cowboys 33-10; and the Seahawks beat the 49er's 19-3. Demeter never really had a home team, so she doesn't particularly care who wins and loses; she just likes watching the game.

During half-time of the second game, it is announced that dinner is ready. Everyone gets up and makes their way to the dining room and kitchen. There are not enough space for everyone in the dining room, so people sit where ever they want. Before anyone is allowed to eat, the professor wants to say grace and thanks for such a wonderful day and evening. Once h finishes, there is a collective "amen" at the end and everyone digs into their plates of food. Demeter has turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, two types of stuffing, and corn soufflé. It is an absolutely delicious meal and she makes sure to pay compliments to each person who helped prepare it.

It is hard to keep up with all of the conversations that are floating about; some people are discussing the game, other people talking about their families, others talking about the food, and so and so on. Demeter mainly sticks to talking with Logan and the rest of the X-Men - she doesn't know any of the students that are left behind and she doesn't know anyone that cooked, except Piotr. The group is telling stories from past Thanksgivings that they've had before Xavier found them or helped them (pretty much the same thing). Demeter decides to join in and share her one mission in Turkey, when she was in the capitol Ankara. Her mission was to gather information from one of the higher ups in the political atmosphere (she wasn't sent to kill and capture all the time). The politician ended up taking her out for a beautiful dinner,  but ended in a ridiculous car chase, her gaining the information she needed, her being shot at, jumping out a window, and her hiding out in a burlesque club until it was safe enough for her to leave. She was able to make it back to her randevú location and return back to D.C. fairly safely. By the time she finishes telling her story, almost everyone that is listening is looking at her like they can't believe she lived or they can't believe that it actually happened. "Spy, remember" she says, pointing to herself like it is obvious.

"Were most of your holidays like that" Kitty asks.

"Some of them, but not all of them" is all she says on the matter. She dreads having to discuss the topic of Christmas in a month - she has some not so fond memories of Christmas. The group picks up on her note of finality of the topic and moves on to someone else. Demeter makes it a habit to not discuss most of her missions; she doesn't want to poison her teammates with what she has done in the past.

The conversation is dwindling down by the time people start cutting the pies. Whoever baked them made three Pumpkin Pies and two Lemon Meringue pies. She is not a fan of pumpkin pie, so she had a slice of the lemon meringue, which melts in her mouth. "Seriously, whoever made this needs to bake more often" she says in between bites.

"Agreed. Holidays need to happen every week if we get food like this" Kurt says.

By the time people are finishing their slices of pie, it is already nine o'clock. The kids are starting to go to their rooms, too hunkered out from their earlier excitement. Demeter watches "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" movie on the couch with Kitty, Jean, Ororo, Scott, and Kurt. The rest of the team are being party poopers and not joining them, claiming to be too old for a kid's movie. The rest of the evening is peaceful. She does ask one important question. "So, does anyone here do Black Friday shopping".

"Would you dare go into those crazy crowds" Kitty replies back, sounding like she is crazy for even asking such a question.

"Well… I mean I _could_ make someone give me their item that I wanted if I so desired. I could also make them let me walk out of the store without paying if I really wanted".

"No. You are not stealing or using your powers to make someone give you their stuff". Scott is always so damn righteous.

"I never said I _was_ going to, I just said that I _could_ if I wanted to. No need to be such a hard-ass Mr. Perfect. I know the policy on using powers".

"Good" is all he said back.

' _Someone needs to pull that stick out of his ass and let him relax some_ '. She makes a mental note to talk to Jean about that.

"Most of us do not go shopping tomorrow, but you are free to go if you want. Just be careful and try not to kill anyone". Ororo is much nicer about it than Scott.

"Thanks Ororo. I don't think I'm going to go, but I was just curious. I didn't know if that was part of tradition or not".

Understanding clicks in their heads, but Jean is the first to speak. "You don't have to follow every tradition that we do. You can always make your own traditions, Demeter. We're not a cult; we're not going to kick you out if you don't completely conform to what we do".

A soft smile fills her face at Jean's words. "Thanks, Jean. I don't think I'm going out tomorrow anyways. I don't need anything. Plus, I already bought everyone's Hunneka and Christmas gifts for the most part. I only need one or two more things then I'll be done with holiday presents".

"You're already done shopping?" Kitty sounds amazed at Demeter's punctuality of gift buying. "When did that happen? Where did you even put the gifts at?" She is so confused.

"It happened throughout the past two months. I used to be a spy - I didn't want you to know, so I made sure that you didn't. The presents are hidden in a safe location, one that you will never find. And don't go looking for them. If you do, you won't get yours".

"That's mean" she says, making a stupid pouty face.

"Maybe, but that's life" Demeter replies, sounding so proud of herself. "Well, I am off to bed. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, and thank you all for making it yet another memorable holiday experience for me". They all wish her a Happy Thanksgiving and tell her goodnight. It is another successful holiday for Demeter, and she falls sleep feeling great about herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are enjoying the fic. The holiday chapters were fun to write. It's nice to write fluff every once in a while. Next up is Christmas/New Years.


	10. Christmas Extravaganza with a New Years Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas and presents are exchanged! New Years in New York City to watch the ball drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the holiday chapters. I really enjoyed writing them, and I hope you all enjoyed reading them.
> 
> This is a happy, fluffy chapter.

Christmas at the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters is even more hectic and loving than Thanksgiving. Demeter wakes up early - like 5 a.m. kind of early. She falls into her normal schedule - wake up, workout, and shower. She gets a fairly decent workout in, having run twenty miles and used the free weights for half an hour. When she is all done and showered, she goes to wake everyone up - she is excited for her first real Christmas, and she even googled normal things to do on Christmas.

There are once again people already in the kitchen by the time she makes it downstairs. The team is already up, some of them looking like they are going to murder someone if they don't get any coffee in them pronto. She asks if anyone wants breakfast, and they all just stare at her like she's crazy.

"Breakfast will be ready in fifteen minutes" a voice says from behind the crowd of people. It is one of the people who did part of the baking for Thanksgiving. The woman is apparently making some kind of breakfast casserole, which smells fantastic. Demeter gets in line for coffee and is relieved when the warm drink is going down her throat into her awaiting stomach. "Soooooooo" she says, stretching the word out, "When do we open presents?"

"After breakfast" Xavier says as he wheels into the kitchen. "After that, most people watch a movie or use their new gifts, while others prepare dinner".

"Oh, okay. That sounds cool".

The breakfast casserole turns out to be an egg, bacon, sausage, and cheese casserole. They also make a french toast casserole, which is equally tastey. They hum and moan in happiness as they eat their breakfast. As soon as everyone is finished, Demeter announces "Present time"!

All of the students are away with their own families, so that just leaves the professor, Scott, Jean, Logan, Demeter, Kurt, Hank, Kitty, Rogue, Ororo, and Remy. Also, everyone that is cooking, whoever they are. Seriously, Demeter thinks she should make more of an effort to get to know all of the other people outside of her ~~group~~ family.

Everyone puts their dishes in the sink and dishwasher, then heads to the lounge room that has the tree with all of the presents under it. Each person's gifts are separated in their own pile under and around the tree. They each take turns distributing their gifts and opening theirs. The professor gets Demeter a Target gift card and some lottery tickets (he is so weird with gifts). Scott and Jean get her some clothes and a general gift card to use anywhere. Kurt gets her a nice pair of earrings and a matching necklace. Hank gets her an Alfred Hitchcock movie collection, along with the Star Wars and Jurassic Park movie collection. Ororo bought her a sweater and a general gift card to use anywhere. It isn't like these gift cards are cheap or anything, most of them are for fifty dollars or more. Kitty bought her an itunes gift card, which Demeter is so thankful for - she has a whole list of music she plans on buying. Rogue gets her a gift card to the spa they went to and a gift card to the movie theater. Remy gets her an Amazon gift card and some cash. Logan gives her an envelope with a hundred dollars in it. She is so grateful for each and every one of their gifts. What they don't know is that she saves all of the cash and general gift cards that she receives from Christmas and her birthday. She is planning a road trip in a couple of months. She just has to find the right time to tell everyone.

The rest of the group exchange their gifts with each other, including Demeter giving everyone their gifts from her. She gives the professor head shinning oil (as a joke since he's bald), and a book that he has been wanting for quite some time. She gives Scott and Jean a gift card to that spa so they can have a couples massage. She gives Kurt a book in German that he wanted. She gives Hank a gift card to Amazon, knowing that he is a closeted shopper. She oddly enough gets Kitty an itunes gift card as well - they have quite a laugh about that. She gets Rogue some famous southern hot sauce along with a hot new outfit. She paints  (somewhat terribly) a picture of the night sky during a lightning storm for Ororo - it's the thought that counts, right? Demeter gives Remy two new decks of cards, his favorite Cajun sauce, and a gift card to his favorite Cajun cuisine place in town. She has a tougher time with Logan; she had no idea what to get him. She ends up getting him a new flannel shirt, a box of cigars, a bottle of his favorite liquor, and a twenty-four pack of his favorite beer. She also writes in his card a certain other present that she will give him later that night.

Everyone loves their gifts from each other and they give one another a hug afterwards. It is apparently tradition for them to watch "A Christmas Story" on repeat until dinner is ready. When the pink bunny suit scene comes on, Demeter immediately knows what she's getting Logan for Christmas next year. They all have a good time bumming out and watching movies with each other. Demeter tells them she has never seen "A Charlie Brown Christmas", and they all tell her that they are immediately watching it so she can bare witness on the greatest Christmas movie of all time. Surprising to everyone, Demeter actually sheds a few tears during the movie - she loves the sense of family and friendship that takes place throughout the entire film. They sort of bum around until Piotr comes to tell them that dinner is served.

Dinner is just as good as it was for Thanksgiving, if not better. Demeter learns that she really loves ham, and pineapple stuffing. There are other foods there, but these are the only two she cares about. Most people in the group are not religious, so they don't really dwell on that aspect of the day. They ear and talk, just like they did during Thanksgiving. Everyone at the table seems to share her feeling of happiness and her sense of family. She even convinces Logan that he is going to make snowmen and an igloo tomorrow in the snow with her. He would rather shoot himself, but she finally gets him to agree. Christmas might have just become her new favorite day of the year.

*

New Years isn't that odd for her exactly. She's had a mission where she went to New York City on New Year's Eve to kill someone. It wasn't like it was hard - they were surrounded by thousands upon thousands of people who were too busy watching performances and a ball drop to notice one tiny girl plunging a knife into someone. The mission was easy, but she never got to watch the ball drop or just enjoy herself. This time around is different.

This year, she is going with the X-Men, and she is determined to have a good time. There are plenty of parties around the city, including a celebrity party at the Stark Tower. To her, it is a building in the middle of the city that houses a group of extraordinary people known as The Avengers. Her group is of course not on the invite list to that party. She wonders if any of the X-Men know any of the Avengers. She makes a mental note to ask Logan some time.

The city is packed with people, but that is the environment she feels most comfortable in. Almost as if picking up on her thoughts, Logan wraps his arm around her shoulder and tells her she isn't that person any more. "I know" she says, licking her lips. "It's just easy falling back into that feeling and mindset, ya know?"

"I know, kid. This isn't a mission. This is about you enjoying yourself and getting to see the ball drop in person".

"Thanks, Logan" she says, wrapping her arm around his waist, pulling herself closer to him. It is extremely crowded, so it is better to stick close to her group instead of wondering off and getting lost.

There is drinking and eating happening around them - people bringing their own booze and snacks to keep them going throughout the day and night. Most people are hammered by the time the countdown begins, but not Demeter. She is wide awake and sober, watching as the ball in the sky is slowly lowered until the clock strikes midnight and everyone there yells "Happy New Year's". Logan and Demeter take part of the tradition of kissing someone as it turns to the new year, as do Remy and Rogue, and Scott and Jean. It is a quick kiss, but an endearing one at that. She feels some part of her melt away on the inside, like another layer of her old, cold self is melting away into oblivion and nonexistence. She is becoming more her own person, and she has her new family to thank for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hit you all with the fluff these past three chapters, because the next chapter is angsty and painful. Beware!
> 
> Again, thank you all for reading and sticking with me through this.


	11. First Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demeter goes on her very first mission with the X-Men. Also, a major decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter compared to the rest of them. With the way it, I didn't feel like breaking it up into much smaller chapters, because I didn't think it would flow well.
> 
> *Warning: PAIN and Violence*  
> Lots of tears happen. Lots of sadness.   
> If I missed anything in the tags or warnings, please let me know and I will add them.
> 
> The end of the chapter is happy and promising, that I can assure you!

This is Demeter's first mission with the group. They've had missions since she's been there, they just haven't allowed her out on one until now. The Brotherhood is attacking some city in New Jersey, and the X-Men take notice. They've done battle in the past; the X-Men typically win. The leader of the Brotherhood is a mutant by the name of Magneto. ' _Seriously, they have some weird names for each other…_ ' she thinks. The Brotherhood sends Sabretooth, Toad, Mastermind, and Pyro to wreck havoc on some poor town in New Jersey. Scott, being the leader that he is, reminds everyone of each of the Brotherhood's members powers. Demeter isn't too worried about them - she can make them feel like they can't move, or she can just suggestively tell them to stop. People underestimate the power of suggestion, but it serves its purpose.

When they land, Scott calls out the orders and everyone takes their positions. Sabretooth and Logan have history together - more than he is letting on, but it is clear that they hate each other. Pyro looks no older than that kid Bobby who Demeter played basketball with. Toad, well… he looks like a toad. And then there is Mastermind. Thankfully, Demeter is partially immune to his psychic powers and is able to see through the illusions he is casting. He tries making it look like the Brotherhood isn't there, but Demeter calls out their positions. Toad, being the little bastard that he is, shoots some sticky substance at her that lands on her eyes and temporarily blinds her. Logan is too busy fighting with Sabretooth to help, and Jean takes over at calling out their positions (her being a telepath gives her immunity from his psychic powers as well). Rogue and Storm take care of Toad - Storm calls on the lightning to strike at Toad while Rogue throws him in the air. Scott is thankfully able to get over to Demeter and blast the hard, sticky substance off of her eyes without damaging her. "Thanks, Scott".

"No problem. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine". Demeter gets up and assesses the situation. Toad is fried (literally thanks to that lightning), Mastermind is busy with Jean, and Logan is still battling with Sabretooth. "Scott, help Jean with Mastermind. I'm going to help Logan with Sabretooth over there".

"Got it".

Demeter moves closer to where Logan is, but stays back some. She uses her powers to make Sabretooth feel like he is unable to use his hands. His momentary lapse of functioning awards Logan enough time to slash him with his claws and knock him out. "Thanks, kid".

"No problem. Glad I could help". She turns around and sees that Rogue and Storm have Toad handcuffed, while Jean and Scott have Mastermind apprehended. They tie them up and leave them for the authorities - not like they will be able to actually hold them for any amount of time, but it is still the right thing to do. Demeter actually feels let down by this fight. She heard about Magneto and his right hand woman, Mystique. She wanted to get her hand at fighting them, especially since she heard that Magneto wears a helmet that blocks any psychic interference and powers. She wants to see if her powers would be able to work on him, since they technically aren't psychic; she deals with emotions, not thoughts - it's a whole different ball game.

"Are all battles with them that easy" she asks.

"Not usually" Scott replies.

"I don't like it. I mean, if this was their main goal, why isn't that Magneto guy here with Mystique? It doesn't make sense". Demeter understands battle and strategy better than people give her credit for. If she thinks something isn't right, then it most likely isn't. And with Scott agreeing with her, that just makes her all the more suspicious.

"Something's rotten in Denmark". Leave it to Logan of all people to make that reference.

"Logan's right. Something's not right. Jean, see if you can get inside one of their head's and see if you can see anything we're missing".

"Okay" she says. Jean walks over to where Sabretooth is sitting, and reaches her hands out to touch his temples. She concentrates on her power and focuses it to read his thoughts. She sees that Magneto and Mystique are planning something on the next town over - they want to destroy a government building there that is anti-mutants. "They're after a government building in the next town over. Let's go".

*

Storm calls Kurt to transport them to the building Magneto is planning on attacking. They arrive just in time to meet Magneto outside on the streets.

"Ah, the precious X-Men come to foil my plans, yes? Not this time" says the man with the weird helmet.

' _Must be Magneto_ 'she thinks. "He's a bit old, isn't he" she states.

"Don't let his age fool you. He's extremely powerful".

Demeter takes a second to see if she can feel his emotions or if his helmet blocks her powers. She is able to read his emotions, making her think that she can make him feel whatever she wants. "Keep him busy" she says before running off in the opposite direction.

"Where is she going" Logan asks, walking over to Scott.

"No idea. All she said was to keep them busy". He turns to face the group and gives directions. "Me, Storm, Jean, and Rogue are going to focus on Magneto. Logan, you see if you can sniff out Mystique - she's bound to be here somewhere".

As the team keeps Magneto and Mystique busy, Demeter makes her way over to the building that is two doors down from where the battle is located. She makes her way to the roof, making sure she is able to still see Magneto and read his emotions. She figures if he can't see her, than he won't be able to stop her. Logan is busy fighting a blue woman  who must be Mystique, while the others are focusing on Magneto. She reads his emotions and finds the worst pain that he has ever been in - it is when he was just a boy in Nazi Germany, being thrown into a concentration camp and watching his mother be killed right in front of him. Even Demeter has to admit that is terrible, but that doesn't give him a right to be doing what he is doing.

She see's that he operates mostly from his anger, so she tries a different tactic. She uses her powers to make him feel calm and relaxed, even sleepy. She can feel him slowly losing the energy to fight, so she keeps up her assault on his feelings. That gives the others time to formulate an attack plan. When Logan lunges for him, Magneto stops him by controlling the metal in his body and throws him into the next building. ' _Well, that didn't work out the way I thought it would. Okay, new plan_ ' she thinks as she switches her game plan. Instead of making him feel pleasant emotions, she makes him feel the worst pain he has ever felt in his life - she makes him feel like he is back in Nazi Germany. She watches as the older man drops to his knees, crying out in pain, yelling for it to stop.

Magneto hasn't felt what he feels now in years. He thought he put that part of him behind him. He doesn't understand how someone is doing this to him - he has his helmet on. He uses his powers to control a huge metal bar and wraps Logan, Scott, and Jean up. Rogue and Storm take flight before he can trap them in it too. Not matter, because he uses his powers to break away another metal beam from the one building and knocks them out of the sky with it. He is still in pain and agony, still not understanding what is happening to him. Mystique runs over to him, trying to help, but he just pushes her away, yelling at her to find whoever is doing this to him.

Demeter watches to see where Mystique is running off to. If she can stop her, then she will go help the others. She follows the blue woman into a store, quickly losing her in her sight as the blue woman switches forms to look like a "normal" person. Demeter acts like anyone else in the store, but uses her powers to search for the imposter. She feels Mystiques feelings over by the exit. When Demeter looks over, she sees a woman exit the store and goes back out into the streets. Demeter follows her out a minute later and is immediately kicked in the face. "Ow, fuck" she says as she looks over to see the woman changing back to blue. "Fine, we can do this the hard way" she spits as she lunges at the other woman, knocking her to the ground. They fight for a few long minutes, exchanging blow after blow. Mystique is a great fighter, but Demeter is better. Demeter uses the famous Black Widow move on her to bring her down to the ground, knocking her out. "I really wished people would do this the easy way once in a while" she mumbles to herself, wiping blood off from her face, as she handcuffs the woman and drags her over to the side of the road.

Demeter runs over to where the rest of the action is happening. Because of Mystique, Demeter lessens her power on Magneto, making it easier for him to cause havoc onto the government building there. She gets closer and focuses her power on making him feel that pain again, causing him to stop what he is doing. He frantically searches for whoever is causing him pain before he finally spots Demeter. He is able to just barely use his powers to somewhat tug at the metal that is inside Demeter's body - damn everyone for having natural iron in their bodies. Demeter feels like her insides are pushing to break free from her body, she feels like she is about to burst from the inside out. There they are, two powerful mutants on their knees in the middle of the street, crying and yelling out in pain. If he pulls any harder, Magneto is going to kill her. Demeter yells the hardest she ever has, using the full extent of her powers to make him feel pain, her eyes completely black. Much to everyone's surprise, a small black aura begins to surround Demeter's hands. She has never felt such power before. Before Magneto is able to do anything else, Demeter throws whatever weird black energy aura at him, knocking him back a few feet, along with his helmet off his head. Demeter collapses onto the ground, her nose bleeding and her body going still.

Storm, being the smart one and one who isn't captured, must have called Kurt to teleport the professor here because he shows up moments later, using his power to make Magneto release his people. As Logan runs over to where Demeter lays, professor Xavier uses his power to make  Magneto stay where he is. Scott runs over to retrieve his helmet, making sure that no one else will be able to take it. Xavier makes sure that Magneto complies with the authorities and makes him not use his powers while in their custody. Xavier hates having to use his powers, especially on his old friend, but he has no other choice.

Rogue searches for Mystique, but she is unsuccessful in finding her. She returns to the rest of the X-Men and waits for Kurt to teleport them back to the jet. Logan has an unconscious Demeter in his arms, still not understanding what happened with her earlier. Kurt makes sure that they are all touching and transports them to the jet so that they can all head home.

*

"What happened to her" Xavier asks, looking at Demeter while she lays in the medical bay of the basement in the mansion.

"I don't know" Logan says, looking worriedly at her. He doesn't understand why she is still unconscious.

"It was like a weird black energy thing formed around her while she was battlin' Magneto. She shot somethin' at him, like a black ball of energy. It was weird professor" Rogue helps.

"It could be possible that her power manifested in a physical way when she was under such duress" he speaks, thinking that she might not be able to control that part of her yet. "We're going to have to keep an eye on her. It might become a new part of her power, and I don't know if she'll be able to control it right away or not".

"Before we even talk about that, how's about we talk about why she hasn't woken up yet". Logan is genuinely worried about her - she's never been out this long before.

"Whatever she did must have taken a lot out of her, both physically and emotionally. We don't know for sure what it did to her body. Her nose was bleeding when we transported back to here. Her body and mind might need extra time to heal". The professor is worried about her as well, but he is much better at hiding it than the others. "I'm going to look into her mind to see if I can connect with her". The professor moves closer to her body, putting his hands on her temples, using his power to search her brain. He quickly pulls his hands away moments later, almost as if he is burned by her.

"What was it? What did you see, Charles?"

"I saw darkness. Whatever it is, it seems to be protecting her brain, her unconsciousness. I don't know if it will go away or not. This is all very new".

"We should let her rest. If anything changes or she wakes up, we'll know" Scott says to them.

"I'm stayin' with her. We don't know what she's gonna be like when she wakes, and she might turn violent, especially after what you saw. I'll be here to calm her down". Logan doesn't plan on leaving her side for quite some time.

"Very well. When she wakes up, let us know. Let's leave them be" the professor says, turning around and leaving Logan to stay with Demeter. The others follow suit. Remy, who wasn't with them on the trip, wants to stay with her as well, but Logan doesn't want anyone else there in case she is unstable when she wakes up.

*

Demeter can hear everyone around her talking, but she can't open her eyes. Something in her head is blocking her, preventing her from being conscious. It is dark inside her head, as dark and black as her eyes get when she is angry. She doesn't know why she can't open her eyes yet. Everything inside of her is screaming to get out, but it is trapped within. She struggles through it, trying with all her might to break free of the hold on her mind.

Logan is watching on as Demeter struggles on the metal table. Her whole body is writhing, like she is having a terrible nightmare that she can't wake from. "Hey, kid, wake up. Demeter, wake up! Come on kid, wake up!" Logan is shaking her, hoping she will wake up, but she doesn't. Her face pinches up, shaking her head from side to side. She starts making hurt noises, like she is injured from fighting. He doesn't know what to do. There aren't many instances in which Logan feels helpless, but this is one of them.

Demeter struggles inside her mind, battling through the darkness, hoping to find the light. Or wake up. She isn't sure what she is fighting to get to at this point. No matter how hard she fights, the darkness doesn't budge. It stays right where it is, making sure Demeter doesn't wake yet. She eventually gives up, and lets the darkness take her over fully. She figures if she can't beat it, might as well join it. And who knows, maybe it's helping her.

Logan watches in mild horror as her body finally stops thrashing. She goes completely still, rigid even. Her breathing levels out, but she still doesn't wake up. He wishes he knew what is going on inside her head, wishes he knew how to help her, but he is at a loss. He will stay with her as long as it takes for her to wake up from this coma.

*

Demeter finally feels the darkness seep away. She lets herself succumb to it, and now it is leaving her. She doesn't understand what is happening. She decides that the darkness is protecting her, helping her. She is unsure of why or where it comes from, but she is grateful for it. Her body feels better, more rested than it had the last time she was "awake" in her mind. She tests her eyes to see if they will move. Much to her joy, her eyelids flutter and she opens them fully to find Logan sitting next to her, looking lost as ever. "Hey, you" she speaks, her voice raspy from not using it.

Logan gazes down at Demeter, seeing her eyes open, looking at him and talking to him. "Oh thank God" he breathes out, surging forward and wrapping his arms around her in a hug. "How'ya feelin', kid?"

"Rested" she says, surprised by his show of emotions. "How long was I out for?"

"Sixteen hours". He looks guilty, like it is his fault, even though it isn't.

"Jesus Christ. What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"The last thing I remember ios battling with Magneto. Him and I were on the streets. It felt like he was trying to pull all of the metal from inside my body. It hurt so much" she says, her face turning into a look of hurt, as she tries to remember what happened. "I felt so much pain and anger. I remember giving it my all, making him feel as much pain as I possibly could make him feel".

"And after that" prompting her on to talk.

"Then darkness. I heard you all at one point. I think I was here. You all were discussing what had happened to me. Xavier tried getting in, but my brain didn't let him. I saw nothing but darkness. I tried fighting my way through it. I tried waking up, but the darkness wouldn't let me". She sounds broken, scared even. Logan squeezes her tighter, letting her know that he is there, and that she is okay. "Then I let it overtake me. I couldn't beat it, so I let it take over. Next thing I know, I'm waking up and here we are".

"Is it still there? Can you still see or feel the darkness or whatever it was?"

"No. Like I said, I feel rested. I think whatever it was, it was trying to protect me. I know that sounds weird, but that's the only explanation I have".

"Let me get the professor down here. You should explain what happened to him. And we'll tell you what we all saw. I'm just glad you're awake, kid".

"Me too, Logan. Me too".

Logan gets up from his chair, walking over to the phone, calling the professor to let him know Demeter is awake. When he hangs the phone up, he walks back over to Demeter, and sits on the bed with her, engulfing her in a tight embrace. "I was worried about you".

Demeter hugs him as tight as she can. "I was worried too. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know if the darkness would ever let me wake up".

They stay like that, holding each other like they never want to let go, until the professor and everyone else comes down.

"Jeeze, the whole gang's here, huh" she says, feeling a bit overwhelmed by everyone in the room. The professor, Rogue, Jean, Scott, Ororo, Kurt, Hank, and Remy all came down. The room feels a bit cramped.

"We's was worried 'boutchya" Remy says, looking relieved to see Demeter awake and talking.

"Never do that to us again, Sugar". Rogue looks like she is holding back a tear as she speaks.

"I'll try not to. I don't particularly plan on doing that whole charade again".

"Logan said you remember what happened". The professor looks relieved as well, but curious as to what happened with Demeter.

"Yeah, at least some of it". Demeter tells Xavier and the group the same thing she told Logan. She can see their faces scrunch up when she mentions the darkness taking over in her mind. "The next thing I know, I'm waking up and looking at Logan" she finishes her story. "Now, Logan said you all would tell me what happened. What does that mean?"

"When you were fighting Magneto, I believe your power manifested in a new way" Xavier says, looking at her for any indication of acknowledgement of what he is talking about.

Rogue decides to chime in. "You shot a weird, black energy ball lookin' thing out of your hands".

"I did what now" Demeter pipes out, looking like she can't believe what Rogue has just said.

"I believe the extraneous strain on your mind and body caused your powers to manifest physically, in the form of an energy ball, as Rogue so nicely put it. It's rare, but it does happen to a few mutants with psychic or emotional abilities like you".

"We could always run tests to see what it was or if it would do it again under such pressure" Hank speaks, looking at her with mild interest.

"No" she snaps. Shaking her head and taking a deep breath, she continues. "No. I don't want to experience that again. I don't care what it was or how it happened. I never want to feel the way I did then. I never want to feel like a prisoner in my own head again". She holds on to Logan tighter than she has before as she speaks. "Please don't make me do it" she pleads to Xavier.

"We won't. It's okay. We're not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. Just keep an eye out on how you feel the next time you get angry or use your powers. I don't want you to accidentally hurt yourself, or others. I know you don't want that as well".

Demeter sinks into Logan as Xavier speaks. She is so relieved that he isn't going to put her through testing to see what her new found power is or how it manifests. She has been through enough experiments in her life, she doesn't need any more. "Thank you" she says.

"I'm glad that you are awake, Demeter. If you want, you can sleep down here, or you can come upstairs. Whatever you'd prefer. I do think you should take it easy today, though".

"What time is it? I know Logan said I was out for sixteen hours".

"It is nine in the morning. You were out all night" Scott informs her, standing next to Jean.

"Well, I don’t really feel like sleeping anymore. Pretty sure I got enough last night".

"Like the professor said, you should try and take it easy today" Ororo encourages, sounding just as somber as she normally does.

"I second that. We don't know if there will be any residual effects from what happened to you or not. Maybe try and stay at the mansion today" Jean agreeing with Ororo and Xavier.

"I will. I don't feel like doing too much of anything. I think I'll just bum around today, it that's okay".

"Of course it is. If you want, we can order your favorite pizza - nothing says bumming out like extra cheesy pizza". Kurt looks so happy at the idea. She swear that man is food motivated.

"Sounds like a plan, Kurt. I might just hang out in the library and read, and watch some movies in the lounge room. I don't feel like doing anything physical today".

"I'll stay with you" Logan promises, looking down at her sprawled over his chest. "We'll take it easy today. And if you need anything, you tell me".

"I will. Scouts honor" she says, holding up her index, middle, and ring finger. "Now, am I allowed to leave this room, cause this table is uncomfortable".

"Yes, of course you can leave" Xavier chuckles.

"Good. Let's go".

*

Logan makes Demeter a light breakfast, making her eat even though she doesn't particularly want to. He is always looking out for her well-being, even when she isn't. "Thanks, Logan" she mumbles in between bites of her eggs.

"No problem, Dem. What do you feel like doing?"

"I just want to lounge around. Think maybe we could set up shop on the couch and throw on some Netflix or somethin'?" It is too early for her to read a full length novel, so she figures movies will do for now.

"Sure. Want the blanket from the bed and a pillow or two?"

"Yes please" she murmures, finishing her food and putting her plate in the dishwasher.

"Kay. Go on in and find a movie. I'll be right there".

"Okie dokie". She is already making her way into the lounge room. She plops herself down onto the couch, turning the television on, and pulling up Netflix. She wants something that doesn't require a whole lot of thinking and that she can lazily watch. One of her favorite movies is Disney's animated "Robin Hood", so she chooses that one and waits for Logan to come in with the comforter and pillows for them.

"What movie did you chose" he asks as he walks into the room, lightly tossing a pillow at her.

"Robin Hood" she replies, spreading the comforter over both of them and snuggling up to Logan as soon as he sits down.

"Really, a kids movie? Couldn't find anything, you know, more adult like?"

"Hey now. Robin Hood is a wonderful movie, and you will shut up and enjoy it. We'll watch something you want to afterwards, okay?"

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am".

Demeter presses play, snuggling to Logan as her favorite animated movie plays across the screen. She doesn't fall asleep during the movie, but she isn't quite mentally present for it either. She drifts off into her thoughts and sort of forgets about the movie. She reminisces about the last twenty-four hours and what happened to her. It is scary. She didn't know her powers were changing, she didn't know about the darkness. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to wake up from it, but was relieved when she did. She couldn't remember anything after the darkness took over, but she remembers feeling calm and peaceful. It is a strange sensation, but one she never hopes she has to experience again.

As the movie nears the ending, she faintly registers that Logan is talking to her. "Oh, uh, what? Sorry" she says, shaking her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts.

"I was saying that I want to watch Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, if that's alright with you". He glances down at her to see that she looks a bit spacey. "You alright, kid?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm uh, I'm fine. I was just thinking. Sorry. Yeah, that sounds fine. I've never seen it before, so why not" she says, looking up at him and giving him a small smile.

"Alright. As long as you feel up for it".

"I do. I promise".

"Okay. Can I get you anything before we start it"?

"Nah, I'm good. Thank you though".

"No problem. Settle back, and enjoy".

Demeter settles down, placing her head on Logan's chest and wrapping one arm around his waist in the front, and one around his back. This is comfort. This is safe. It is all she wants in the moment.

They watch on, Demeter intrigued by the concept of the film. It is about a guy who has a gambling debt, so he decides to rob some gangsters. It is interesting enough to keep her attention, plus, she figures Logan likes it, so she might as well give it a go. It ends up being a good film.

After it is over, Demeter has a bit of cabin fever. "Hey, do you think we could go for a walk or something? Maybe just around the lake outside or up the road some? I just wanna stretch my legs".

"Sure, kid. We can do that. Go put your shoes on and I'll meet you at the back door, okay?"

"Okay" she replies. She makes her way up to her room to put on a pair of socks and her tennis shoes. She is still sore from yesterday, but not sore enough to keep her from a nice nature walk. She has something important to talk about with Logan anyways; this walk is providing enough privacy for her to discuss what she wants to with him. She leaves her room and walks down the steps and over to the back door where Logan is waiting.

"Ready?"

"Yup, let's go".

They make their way outside and onto the trail that leads to the massive lake by the forest. It is a beautiful spring day outside, warm but with a light enough breeze to make it comfortable. When they walk to the part of the trail that doesn't have anyone on it, Demeter stops walking.

"Why'd you stop? Ya feelin' okay, Dem?" Logan is worried that maybe something is wrong or that there might be residual effects from yesterday.

"No, nothing's wrong. I just, uh, I just wanted to talk to you alone for a sec". She has been planning on telling him back around New Years, but never got around to doing it. This feels like the right time to bring it up.

"What's going on, Demeter?"

"I've been, uh, thinking about this a lot over the past few months. I wanted to tell you back on New Years, but I didn't. I've been thinking about taking a trip".

"Okay… a trip where?" He is taken back and confused with what she is saying. Where does she want to go? Does she want him to join her or any of the other X-Men? What is the purpose of the trip? He has many unanswered questions swirling around in his head.

"A cross country trip. I want to visit the major cities and their sites that I never got to before. When I traveled to places, it was always for a mission. I had my target and needed to get him or her as quick as possible. My job didn't leave a whole lot of time for sightseeing if ya know what I mean".

"I get that… When were you planning on taking this trip? Where all are you going to go? How are you going to get there? Do you want any of us to come with you -"

"Logan! Whoa, buddy. Just chill out for a sec, okay. That's it, relax. I plan on leaving the end of April. I figured that gives me a month to plan everywhere that I want to go and where I'm gonna go first and all that stuff. I'm not sure exactly of everywhere that I'm going to go yet, but I know I'm going to start up north and make my way over to the west, then head south and then east. Eventually I'll make my way back up, and New York City will be my last destination. And no, I don't want any of you to come with me. I kinda just wanna do this on my own. I feel like I need to. A lot's happened in the past year, and I think this trip feels right for me. I think it's gonna help. Like I said, I've been thinking about it for a while now. I've saved up all my money and gift cards from my birthday and Christmas. So, I should alright on money. I just need to plan the thing now".

Logan looks as if someone just bombed his favorite bar. He is confused, and sad, but also happy for her. He isn't quite sure what to call this feeling. "Okay… That's a lot to take in, kid. You kinda just dropped a bomb on me".

"I know. I'm sorry, but I felt like I should tell you. I'm going to tell the professor later, but I wanted you to know first. I just, I feel like I need to do this".

"I get that, I do. Well… if you need anything from me or help in any way, let me know. Road trips can be fun, as long as you don't kill anyone".

Demeter smiles at him, happy that he is taking it so well and seems to support her. "Thank you, Logan. I mean it, thank you. It means the world to me that you support me on this". Demeter wraps her arms around him in a big hug, standing on her tippy toes and giving his cheek a little peck.

"You're welcome, kid. Is that why you brought me out here?"

"Well that, and I really did want to stretch my legs. Now I just have to break the news to everyone else".

"Yeah. Not sure how the Cajun is going to react. He's takin' a likin' to you".

She snorts at that one. "Yeah, me and Remy have gotten pretty close over the last year. He's kinda like the big brother I never had. I'm gonna miss him. I'm gonna miss all of you. But it's not permanent. I am coming back. I just need to go for a bit".

"I get it, I do. You tellin' everyone tonight?"

"Yup. When we get back, I'm going to talk to Xavier, then I'll tell everyone else tonight. I hope they understand".

"They will. And if anyone gives ya a hard time, I'll knock some sense into them" he assures, winking at her.

That makes her laugh. "Thanks, Logan".

"You're welcome. Let's head back. You got a lot of hearts to break tonight".

"Gee, thanks. When you put it like that, you make me sound like an asshole".

"I call 'em like I see 'em".

"Jerk".

"Only ever sometimes, kid"

*

Demeter is not prepared for her talk with Xavier, but it is now or never for her. She needs to do this. She owes him this much. She just hopes he will let her and be okay with it. That is her greatest fear as she stops in front of his office door. She fears that he will say that she isn't ready or doesn't have control of her powers enough, or because of what happened on the mission she isn't able to go. All of these scenarios and thoughts are racing through her mind. Taking in a deep breath, holding in all of the anxiety and worry that she is feeling, she opens the door.

"Hello Demeter".

"Hello professor".

"What can I do for you?"

"I, um, I wanted to… I wanted to talk to you about something".

"Sure. Come, sit down". He waits for her to sit on the couch before continuing. "What is it?"

' _Moment of truth_ ' she thinks. "I wanted to tell you something that I've been thinkin' about for a while now. The idea came to me back around the time of my birthday. I've been thinking of doing this for a while, and I wasn't sure how or when to tell you, but after everything that's happened, I think now is the perfect time".

"This sounds serious. What is it?"

"I've been thinking of taking a road trip - around the country". She can see his face falter for one second before it is back to its neutral self. "For the majority of my life, I was an assassin. I went to different cities and countries to kill people. I've been all over, but I've never seen all over. I want to take a trip to some of the places I've been but never gotten to see, and a few places that I haven't been and want to see. Now I know what you're going to say. You're gonna say that it's too soon or that I'm not ready, or I don't have my powers under control, or I can't go because of what happened yesterday". ' _Dear Lord, how was that only yesterday_ ' she thinks. "However, I know that I'm ready. Granted, I might not have my emotions under control a hundred percent of the time, but I have enough self-control not to hurt someone else. As much as I disagree with it sometimes, I know not to use my powers of humans unless it is a life or death situation. And yesterday… well… I'm still not sure what to make of yesterday, but I don't think that’s going to happen again. Or at least I hope it won't happen again". Demeter lets out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding.

Xavier watches her as she explains her situation and what she guesses he will think of the entire situation. He can tell that she is passionate about the idea of going on a cross country trip to see the world she never got to see as a child. He is able to tell how much this means to her and that she needs to do this for herself. It is a growing moment in her life, and he couldn't be happier that he gets to bare-witness to it and for her to feel comfortable enough to share with him.

"Demeter" he speaks, moving closer to her so that he is only an arms way away, "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea for you. I am so happy that you wanted to share that idea with me. If it was my blessing you were looking for, you of course have it" he says, watching as her face light up with excitement and joy. "I would never stop you from doing something that you needed to do for yourself. I think this trip is going to be a great experience for you. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know".

Demeter springs herself forward, enveloping Xavier in a tight hug, repeating "thank you" over and over again. "Thank you so much professor. You have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that" she says, smiling like a fool as she pulls away to sit back down on the couch.

"You are more than welcome, my dear. Have you told anyone else about this?"

"Logan. I told him right before I came to see you. I plan on telling everyone else tonight. It's not like I'm leaving for this trip tomorrow or anything. You all are stuck with me for another month or so. I kinda figured next month would mark my one year anniversary of being here, and what better time to take a trip than an anniversary, right?"

"I am incredibly happy and proud of you, Demeter. You have changed and grown so much over the past year".

"Aw, thank you, professor. I'll probably be gone for a month or two. I still haven't worked out all of the logistics and what not, but I think it's going to take me some time to go everywhere that I would like to go. I'll probably start plannin' tomorrow".

"I think that sounds lovely. Take as much time as you need. You know you are always welcome here and that we will support you and help you".

"Thank you, Xavier. I truly appreciate it".

"You're welcome, Demeter".

She inhales another short, deep breath, and exhales. "Okay, thank you for this talk. I think I'll tell everyone tonight at dinner" she repeats as she gets up to shake Xavier's hand. "Thank you again".

He takes her hand to return her handshake. "You are more than welcome".

With that, Demeter smiles at him, turns around, and walks out of his office feeling like she is on top of the world. She didn't expect that conversation to go as well as it did. In fact, she thought quite the opposite. But man is she glad that her expectations fell completely short of reality. The professor is extremely supportive and completely understands her reasoning to why needs to do this. All she has left to do is tell everyone else and actually plan the trip.

*

Dinner has a light atmosphere to it that night. Everyone is sitting around the table talking, laughing, just having a good old time. Kurt is going on about something silly that happened to him today; Rogue and Remy do their endless banter, which translates into "I love you but we can't ever touch because then I would suck all of the energy out of your body and you would die"; Hank is talking some nonsense about science and medicine with Jean and Ororo; and Logan is sitting next to Demeter, glancing over at her every few minutes to see when she is going to make her announcement. After the twelfth glance over, Demeter rolls her eyes, clearing her throat and says that she has an announcement to make. A couple of them cease talking and pay attention to her, but there are still some that do not hear her.

"Excuse you" Logan announces loudly, "Demeter has somethin' she'd like to say".

"Thank you, Logan" she says with raised eyebrows. "Like Logan so kindly put it, I have an announcement to make -"

"What is it, mon ami?"

"I've been thinking of doing something for the past few months now, and I think this time in my life is the right time to do it. I haven't gotten to live _my_ life over the last sixteen years; it has been filled with being a dancing monkey for an evil organization. I've been to so many different places in my life, but I've never really gotten to see them. It's always been eliminate or capture my target, and then get out. I really want to see the world and all of the places that I've been to but never got a chance to look at. That's why next month I'm leaving to go on a cross country road trip". She glances around at everyone's faces at the table - Kurt looks like a mixture between confusion and sadness, Rogue looks sad, Remy looks lost and confused and sad, Scott looks indifferent, Jean looks reserved, Hank looks mildly surprised but happy, Ororo looks slightly worried but masks it with a small smile, and Kitty looks like she is losing her best friend. "Well, not that I don't love a good awkward silence or anything, but will someone please say something… anything…?"

Scott is oddly enough the first one to break the silence. "Where are you going exactly?"

"I haven't planned it all out yet. I know I'm going up north first, then making my way back down and then over towards the west, then I'll move south, then east, and then make my way back up north. I know the last two places I'm probably going to visit are D.C. and New York City. I know we were at NYC for New Years, but it's not the same. I want to see the city, explore it".

"How long are you gonna be gone for" Rogue aks.

"I'm hoping for no more than two months or so. It's going to take me a while to get everywhere and see each city that I want to see".

"Are you going to keep in contact? Phone calls, emails, text, Skype" Hank questions.

"Of course I plan on keeping in contact with everyone. I don't plan on making this a forever trip. I do plan on coming back" she says, surprised that people are looking at her as if she is never coming back. "And, I'm going to call every day, or at least every twenty-four hours I should say. That way you all know I'm safe and that I haven't killed anyone that day" she says with a smirk.

"About that" Ororo interjects. "Do you think it's safe for you to be going on a long cross-country road trip by yourself? Especially after what happened yesterday?"

Logan sounds offended by her comment. "Of course it's safe. It ain't like she's gonna kill someone".

"I have it under control, Ororo. I already talked about this with Logan and the professor. We agreed that I have my temper and powers under control enough to take this trip. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't ready".

Jean finally pipes up. "What about yesterday?"

"I think yesterday was an anomaly. It's never happened to me before. I've never been under that much stress and pressure and pain. If he would have pulled the natural metal inside of me any harder, he would have killed me. I think what happened yesterday was my bodies way of reacting and protecting itself. I don't think it's going to happen again unless I'm in that kind of situation again". That seems a good enough answer for them, as Jean, Scott, Ororo, and Hank all nodd their heads.

"Are you going to take lots of pictures" Kitty asks, looking like she is hoping to get every detail of the trip.

"Of course! Are you kidding me? I wouldn't go to all of these places and not take pictures".

"As long as you take pictures and have a good time, then I'm all aboard for this trip. I think you're going to have so much fun". Kitty is so sweet and encouraging, always telling people to do what makes them happy.

"Thank you Kitty".

"I could always teleport you anywhere that you needed to go, you know".

That gets a small chuckle out of her. "I actually thought about that Kurt, but I think it defeats the purpose of a road trip. If I need you though, trust me, I will call you".

"As long as you're sure".

"We's gonna miss you, Dem"

"I second that"

"I'm gonna miss you too Remy. You too Rogue. Actually, I'm gonna miss all of you. Even you Scott" she teases, winking at him. "I'm not leaving yet. You're all stuck with me for another month".

"No one is stuck with anyone, kid" Logan says, looking at her with sincerity. "We like having you around".

That almost makes her want to cry right then and there. "Thank you, Logan. I like being around. You all have become the family I never had, and for that, I am eternally grateful". Demeter is unable to help but roll her eyes as everyone lets out their "awes".  "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough with the mushy stuff. Let’s get back to eating". Demeter is grateful for Logan holding her hand under the table the entire conversation. He is her rock, her anchor. He keeps her grounded when no one else can.

The rest of the dinner continues on normally. People chime in and ask her questions about where she wants to go and if she needs any help planning. She can tell that a few of them are not sold on the idea of her going out on her own, but that does not matter. Demeter knows she's ready. She feels it. And by golly, nothing is going to stop her.

Over the next month, Demeter plans everywhere she wants to go. Of course everyone in the mansion has to be a backseat driver and give their opinions and input from the peanut seats, but she trudges through. Scott and Jean suggested Boston, which is one the places that Demeter wants to visit anyways, so that is on the list. Portland, Maine is also on the list - they have great seafood there. Other places get added, like national parks, such as the Great Smokey Mountains, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, and Zion Canyon. Of course fun places such as Cedar Point, Kennywood, Disneyland, and Disneyworld are added to the list as well (a girl's gotta have some fun). The last two places she plans on touring are Washington, D.C., and New York City.  Demeter wants to visit the monuments and museums in Washington, and then leave to go to NYC last. She knows she is going to miss her friends here, but this is something she needs to do for herself. She isn't doing this alone though; she knows she has the support and love of everyone at the tower. Also, Kitty made her promise to take pictures and video her every time she visits somewhere on the list. Logan wants her to check in everyday as well, just to make sure she is okay. It's going to be a great trip.

*

Today is the day that Demeter is leaving for her cross-country, find-herself, I’m-my-own-person road trip. She has planned out everywhere that she wants to visit. She feels different this morning, like a new part of her life is about to begin. Demeter has spent her last night with Logan, so in the morning, she wakes him up, having him go with her to workout. It is only a thirty minute workout, but his reward comes after in the form of a blowjob in the shower, followed by a quick, but loving fuck. Demeter is probably going to miss Logan the most, but she promises him that she will call every day. She also tells him that if she misses a phone call, to start to worry – there are people out there that still want to kill her, or worse, capture her and make her a killing machine again. They make a deal that if she misses one phone call, Logan is to go to the professor to have him psychically find her to see what is happening. If what is happening is bad, Logan promises he will have Kurt transport him there in a heartbeat, along with the rest of the X-Men. She's happy with that agreement.

After their morning activities, Demeter finishes packing up the remaining items that she has left; hairbrush, deodorant, tooth brush, phone charger, etc… She doesn’t pack a whole lot, just the bare essentials that will get her by for a month or two, or however long it takes her to complete her journey. She has one big suitcase and a much smaller one (pretty much a carry one type bag). When she brings her suitcase downstairs, she shares one last breakfast with the team; Kurt cooks her two breakfast bagel sandwiches, which is one of her favorite breakfast foods.  After she finishes eating, everyone walks her out to her car (rather one of Scott’s cars, but he is nice enough to let her use it for her trip). Logan places her suitcase in the car for her, while she loads her GPS up, clicking for it to be set to Portland, Maine – her first destination. Everyone says their goodbyes; Scott of course reminding her not to let one scratch come to his car – she of course rolls her eyes to him.

“Remember to call every day and send pictures of all the places you see. Kitty will kill you if you don’t send pictures”.

“I will, I promise”.

“I’m gonna miss you, kid”.

“I’m going to miss you too, Logan” she says, wrapping her arms around him for one last hug. “I love you”.

“I love you too, Demeter. Be safe and text or call when you get there”.

“I will” she promises, pulling back from the hug and stepping into the car. She sets her GPS into place, rolls down the windows and waves goodbye to everyone as she drives off to begin her journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! I know that was a tough chapter to get through, but you made it!
> 
> I will not be posting anything till the weekend. I have to finish editing the last remaining chapters, and then I will post them. I promise that no matter what, I will have the next chapter up by the weekend.
> 
> The next chapter is when the Avengers get introduced!


	12. An Unexpected Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demeter unexpectantly meets the Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is finally it! The long awaited crossover moment! Welcome Avengers to the fic.

It has been a long, wonderful, stress free month. Demeter has driven all over the United States, visiting places that she has wanted to for a very long time.  She especially loved getting to compare Disneyworld to Disneyland - two Disney's in one trip, what could be better? She finishes visiting Washington, D.C., the nation's capitol. While there, she visits each of the Smithsonian's Museums, plus all of the monuments. Her favorite exhibit, she has to admit, is the Captain America exhibit. He is a man who has been through so much in his life and still ends up on top. He's lost so much, but he continues to strive to be the best he can. Demeter admires him for that, even looks up to him a little bit (join the rest of the nation on that one). Even though she had a great time in Washington, and everywhere she went, Demeter is excited to get back to New York. The city is the last place that she is going to visit. She was there for New Years Eve and for a mission, but those don't count because she never got to really explore the city at all.

Once she arrives, after driving a ridiculous six hours on fucking 95 to get there, Demeter finds a parking spot (by the grace of God) and parks her car. The main places she wants to visit are Central Park (mainly because of that scene in Home Alone 2), Time Square, and Madison Square Garden. There is literally so much to do in New York that she could easily spend a week there and still not see everything. She figures Ellis Island, Coney Island, the 9/11 memorial, and the Statue of Liberty can be done on her next visits in. Today is about the big kahuna, the hustle and bustle of the city.

Demeter decides to do Madison Square Garden first because that is what she is closest to (efficient this one). When she walks up, she immediately takes out her phone and starts to snap pictures. She still hasn't text anyone back at the mansion to let them know she is in NY, but she figures she'll do it later tonight. Right now is for pictures and taking in the city. She walks around the huge building, thinking about all of the events that have taken place here - hockey games, fights, and concerts amongst others. It is such a national icon, and Demeter is thrilled to see it (the outside of it at least). ' _Maybe one day I'll actually come here and see a show or a game_ ' she thinks.

After walking around Madison Square Garden for a while, she walks towards Time Square, which is in between MSQ and Central Park. Demeter of course takes selfies and pictures of buildings in what is probably one of the most iconic places in the United States. She has a blast walking around and taking in the feel of the city and the high energy that is never in short supply. There aere billboards and posters, and people, and buildings everywhere. It is so beautiful, that pictures do not do it justice. Although she loves seeing it, Demeter thinks that she can never live there.

It is still light out, but the sun is starting to go down a bit, so Demeter decides to make her way to Central Park before it gets darker outside., She takes pictures on her way, and eventually wines up in the spot that was used in Home Alone 2. She snaps pictures, a selfie, and even has some stranger take her picture with her phone. All in all, Demeter is satisfied at the experience. It is around seven at night when she finishes, and the sun is starting to set (isn't summer quite yet so the sun still sets kind of early). The game plan is for her to walk back to where her car is parked, find a bar around there, have a few drinks, sleep in the car for the night, and then drive back to Xavier's tomorrow.

Demeter eventually finds a somewhat reasonable bar around where her car is and goes in to have a well deserved drink or two. She walks in and up to the bar to sit instead of grabbing a table or booth. She does a quick scan of the people around her at the bar, just to make sure none of them are creepers or anything. What she finds is that there are mobsters in the bar, specifically the head of a very prominent mob in the city. Deciding not to get tipsy, Demeter slowly sips her beer while discretely reading the emotions, and therefore memories, of the mobsters. She learns that they are there to make a trade - money for information and weapons. ' _Great, fuckin' weapon dealers and buyers. Just my luck_ ' she thinks. Two hours, and a beer and a half later, the mobsters emerge from the back room of the bar, one with a briefcase shaking hands with the other. Demeter gets up and casually walks up to the man holding the briefcase after the other descends to the back room. "Hello there" she says.

"Fuck off lady" the mobster barks, shooing her aside like she is nothing.

Demeter gets right back up in front of him, grabs his arm, and whisperes "you really feel like taking all of that money and donating it to some children's foundation, immediately after you leave this bar. You feel like it will make you the happiest man on earth if you did that. After you do that, you really feel like going to the police and turning yourself in and the man you just did business with". She leans away from him, watching as he nods his head and replies "yes", walking away and going to go do what she had suggested. ' _God bless the power of suggestion_ ' she thinks, turning around to leave and head to her car. Walking around, being a tourist, and essentially taking down one or two mobs in a day wears a person out, even a mutant.

As she leaves, Demeter notices two people from the bar, a man and a woman, following her out. She  continues walking, albeit a bit cautiously, taking unnecessary turns to see if they are following her or not. Once she realizes that they are still following, she stops and turns around, waiting for them to approach. Much to her surprise, the male has disappeared, while the female is still there. ' _Huh, maybe he wanted her for the night and she told him to fuck off_ 'she thinks. "I couldn't help but notice you followin' me sweetheart. If you're looking for sex, I at least have to get your name first -"

"What business did you have with Alexi?" the redheaded woman asks.

"What business is it of yours?"

"I don't have time for this bullshit. I'm going to give you one last chance to tell me what I want to know". The redhead moves into a fighting stance, but keeps her arms down, awaiting an answer.

"You really don't want to get on my bad side. I suggest you kindly turn around and fuck off, bitch". Demeter is bracing herself for a fight. She can easily make the redhead feel pain using her powers, but that isn't the code of the X-Men. ' _Ugh, stupid code_ '.

"Wrong choice" the redhead speaks, quickly striking out and hitting Demeter in the face. Before she is able to even retaliate, the redhead is throwing a kick to her stomach.

' _Alright, fuck this_ ' Demeter assess, quickly moving out the way of the next attack, barely missing being hit with a left hook. Just as soon as Demeter is about to hit the woman, something hits her neck. "What the -" she says, grabbing a tranquilizer dart out of her neck, falling to the ground, trying to use her powers to read her emotions, but it is too late. She is unconscious.

*

Eyes fluttering open, Demeter scans the enclosed room that she's located in. ' _Where the fuck am I_ ' she quickly thinks, trying to move her hands, but much to her dismay, they are handcuffed to a chair. ' _Great. What's this going to be, a fucking interrogation_ ', thinking that it will not work out so well for the interrogator. There is only one way to get in or out of the room, which is the single, lonely door on the opposite side of the table that is in front of her. There is also what is clearly a two-way window, meaning that people are observing her from the outside. Falling back into assassin mode, Demeter relaxes her body, clearing her mind. While whoever it is, is interrogating her, she will be reading their emotions and memories.

A man in a bland suit walks in, carrying a manila folder in his hands. Pulling out the opposite chair, the man sits down, staring at Demeter. "Hello. My name is Agent Coulson. I'm with S.H.I.E.L.D., or what used to be S.H.I.E.L.D. anyways". He watches her face, looking to see if Demeter's face changes or gives anything away in the slightest. She of course does not; she just continues looking at him with the same blank, schooled expression she was taught by her former company. ' _If this guy's Shield, he could also be HYDRA_ ', making this whole scenario that much more interesting. "My colleagues" the man continues, "spotted you in a bar having a conversation with a Russian mobster. Care to explain that" he asks. Demeter doesn't say anything or even move an inch, just stares at him with a blank face. "No, that's okay. How about you tell me what you said to him, or how you're involved with the Russian mob" he questions. Again, Demeter says nothing. "Ma'am, I will inform you that I will get the answers I'm looking for one way or another. For your sake, you should choose the easy way and tell me what I want to know, before this starts to get physical". Demeter again, says nothing. "Your choice" he says, standing up and leaving the room.

While he was talking, Demeter reads his memories. She learns that he was in fact part of SHIELD at one point, but technically died during the alien invasion a few years ago. His memories came back after he was revived. He works with the two people that followed Demeter, their names being Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff, aka Hawkeye and Black Widow. ' _I feel a little better knowing that it was them who captured me_ ' she thought. She learns that Agent Coulson has technically taken over the newly revived, but still underground, SHIELD. He works in tandem with the Avengers, and that they are currently tracking down HYDRA employees, trying to figure out a way to restore the memories of the man known as Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier. Demeter heard rumors of him during her time with her former company. She never knew if they were real or not, but now she does. She also learns that she is in an interrogation room, on a floor below Stark Tower (which is now Avengers Tower), and that all of the Avengers are on the other side of that window, watching her. ' _Fantastic. I have the Avengers as an audience. Well, guess I'll see what all they want'_ she thinks, knowing that each of them is going to interrogate her, one by one. ' _Should be fun'_ she thinks, knowing that she is going to learn everything she wants to know about them.

While Demeter is having her internal dialog with herself, she manages to keep her face blank, just like she did with Agent Coulson. Next up in the interrogation process is Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye. He enters the room looking as relaxed as any one man could. He doesn't say anything, he just sits down on the chair and stares at Demeter with an equally blank face. Unlike him, Demeter is reading his memories, going through his tragic life. She learns that he had an abusive father who hit him and damaged his ear even more than it already was, leaving him practically deaf. Him and his brother ran away to the circus, where he learned how to shoot a bow and got into some criminal activity with them. When he left the circus, he was basically an assassin for hire, until Agent Coulson recruited him to SHIELD. Demeter also learns that Clint Barton recruited the infamous Black Widow to the organization, and that they have been a couple for some time now. She also learns that Clint had his mind taken over by Loki, the Asgardian terrorist that led the alien invasion on New York. ' _Poor guy. He's been through so much_ ' she thinks. After twenty minutes of staring blankly at each other, the archer gets up and leaves.

Next up is Tony Stark of all people. He comes prancing in like he owns the joint (which he technically does). He's like a peacock, always showing his feathers for attention. "Hello. Welcome to my lovely interrogation room. Now kindly tell me how you are involved with HYDRA. We know you are, you might as well tell us. In fact, I'm already running a search on you. Fess up now and this will be a whole lot painless for you". The man never shuts up, he just keeps going and going and going. ' _That must be tiring_ ' she thinks, as he continues being himself, talking up a storm. Little does he know that Demeter is reading his memories through his emotions. Again, another sad story. She learns that he thought his daddy never loved him, that his dad loved Steve Rogers more than his own son. She learns that his parents mysteriously died in a car crash when he was a kid, and that he took over his father's company after that. She sees the memories of his former mentor and how he tried to kill Tony, the accident and kidnapping in Afghanistan, his struggle with nightmares and PTSD, his love life with Pepper Potts, his version of the battle in New York against the aliens, his fall from the sky, and everything since. Demeter almost feels tired after riffling through his memories - the man is an absolute workaholic. "Well", he continues speaking, breaking her train of thought, "just sit back and relax while you can. Soon enough I'll know all of your dirty little secrets". ' _Good luck with that'_ she thinks, as he leaves the room.

Demeter wonders if each person tags the other one in, like they do in tag team wrestling. What a funny idea, tagging interrogation partners in like that. ' _I should try that out with Logan sometime'_. Before her imagination is able to go any further, the redhead from the bar walks in to the room. Demeter knows that this is the famous Black Widow, the woman she had to watch videos of to learn her fighting moves and style. The woman that she, for lack of a better word, idolized, while with her former company. Natasha Romanoff, formally known as Natalia Romanova, the Red Room's most prized possession.

"How's your face?" she asks, looking Demeter straight in the eyes. Demeter still says nothing, just looks on with a blank stare. "I know this game your playing. I was trained with it too. Stay silent and learn as much as you can from the interrogator. It's a good tactic. It worked for me many of times. How's it working out for you"? Still, Demeter says nothing, not even batting her eyelashes. "Your handlers must be wandering where you are. Tell me, did they put a tracking device in you? Do they know where you are"? There is silence for a  few moments before Natasha stands, calmly walking over to the right side of Demeter. "Tell me who you work for". Nothing. Natasha deliveres a quick backhand to Demeter's face, hoping a little physical violence will get her to talk. Nothing but silence. This time, Natasha punches Demeter in the stomach, quickly following up with a right hook to the face. "Who do you work for" she asks, still hoping to get an answer. Demeter keeps silent, but is secretly learning all she can about Natasha through her memories. ' _Silly Avengers_ ' she thinks, while Natasha lands yet another punch to the face. ' _Great, I'm going to have fucking bruises all over my face after this_ '.

Right as Natasha brings her fist down again, delivering another blow to the face, Agent Coulson walks in. "That's enough Agent". Natasha, much to Demeter's surprise, schools her features and effortlessly walks out of the room, Agent Coulson on her heels. The door shuts, and Demeter is left with her thoughts. She thinks how there are only three more Avengers to go: Hulk, Thor, and Captain America. ' _Yippie_ ' she thinks, ' _the three strongest for last_ '. It is probably twenty minutes before the door opens again, and Demeter can't believe who walks in.

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes walk through the door, quickly sitting down in the two available chairs. "I don't know who you are, or what you want, but one thing I do know is that I'm not in the mood for playing games. Tell us what we want to know. No more harm will come to you, I promise" the blond beauty speaks, sounding as patriotic as possible. Demeter is reading his memories, when there is a sudden blankness in his brain. It only lasts for five seconds before his memories pre-crash are filling her head. It is the first time since she woke up that her face moves, quickly furrowing and then un-furrowing her eyebrows. After she reads his memories, her eyes flick over to the other man who was sitting silently, watching Demeter for any small changes in her face. The blond is still talking, something about honor and dignity she is sure, while Demeter attempts to read Bucky's memories. Much to her dismay, there aren't many to read, mainly ones from the last time he was brought out of cryo. Her entire face scrunches up this time, head tilting, trying to understand why she can't read further. She registers the last part of what the blonde is saying, "if you are working with HYDRA and you know how to get Bucky's memories back, you will tell us. So help you God". Her head whips back to look at Steve, taking in his features again. She watches as the two super soldiers share a quick glance, then glare back on her.

' _They took his memories_ '. Her mind is racing, knowing how it feels to be controlled and at the mercy of some terrible company. She tries think of how to help him. Her frantic mind finally settles upon the only solution she can process - the professor. He helped her with her memories, and he helped Logan with his. If he could help Logan, then Xavier can certainly help Bucky. Locking eyes with Bucky, Demeter finally speaks. "I want to talk to you in private. Just me and you". She can see the soldier being taken back by her speaking for the first time. Before they can say anything, she continues. "I'm not HYDRA or any other evil organization. Now, I have a question for you. It's a question that you, and only you can answer, which is why I want our conversation, if you agree to hear me out, be in private. I'll agree to having the good Captain here for the conversation as well, but that's your choice. All of this is your choice. If you agree to talk to me, it has to be in private. I don't want the rest of your team listening in, because what I can offer is your decision, not theirs. If you want to share what it is, you can do so afterwards. If they listen, and you say no, they're going to want an explanation, but you don't owe anyone an explanation about anything. Now, do you want to hear what I have to say or not?"

Demeter sees the wheels turning in the soldier's brain. After a few moments, he speaks. "I want Steve with me".

Demeter gives him a small smile, nodding her head. "Okay, that's fine. Now we need somewhere private to talk. This whole building isn't secure. I'm sure Mr. Stark has camera's everywhere" she says, looking at the glass window, knowing he is on the other side. "Where can we go where there are no cameras, just us? If it makes you feel better, you can keep the cuffs on me. I promise I'm not here to hurt you".

"I know where we can go" the blonde soldier says, looking as earnest and determined as ever.

"Great, than let's go. The sooner you hear me out, the sooner you can make your decision".

Steve removes the cuffs from her wrists and chair, leaving her unsecured. "I'm taking your word that you won't try anything on us. If you do, we will take you down. Understood?"

"Aye aye Captain" Demeter retorts with a shit-eating grin on her face, unable to help the saying.

*

Steve and Bucky take her to a nearby park, sitting down at one of the tables there. "Now that we're away from cameras, tell us what you want". Bucky still hasn't said a word since leaving the interrogation room. He keeps a watchful eye on Demeter, making sure she doesn't try anything stupid.

"Like I said, this question is for him, and him alone". She turns her attention to the dark haired soldier. "Steve said that HYDRA took your memories away, right?" She waits until he nods his head before continuing. "I had problems with my memories a while back. I wasn't sure who I was or what was real or fake. Thankfully someone took me in and helped me. He helped restore my memories and get my head back on track. He's a professor in Upstate New York. Memories and thoughts are sort of his specialty. He's not with any political or powerhouse organization, nothing like SHIELD or HYDRA. I know he'd be willing to help you with your memories. He can help you get your memories back. I can tell you it's not going to be easy though. It will be painful, but no machines or equipment will be used, just him. Are you interested in him and me helping you with your memories?"

It is nothing but silence for what feels like two hours, but is only five minutes. "How can he do that" was all Bucky says.

"He's gifted. Not in the way you two are, but in a much different way. I promise if you let us help you, we will do all that we can to restore your memories. Again, I promise I'm not here to hurt you or trick you. If you agree to our help, I can have him up here within a day".

Steve and Bucky shared glances, but it might as well be an entire conversation between the two. Long, drawn out minutes pass before Bucky speaks again. "Fine, I agree to it. But first, tell me your name".

Demeter can't help but smile from relief. "Demeter. My name is Demeter".

"Like the goddess" Steve asks.

"Yes, like the goddess. Now, shall we return to the tower? If you want, you can tell everyone, if not, you don't have to".

"No, I'll tell them. They deserve to know".

"Okay, that's fine. Like I said, it's your choice. All of this is your choice... I do have one request" she says, looking almost guilty for needing to ask.

"And what is that" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Can I use the phone when we get back? I really need to contact the professor I was telling you about. I've been on a road trip for the past month, and I need to check in with him to let him know I'm still alive. I promised him I'd call every day, but _somebody_ decided to kidnap me yesterday and I missed my phone call. He's probably worried sick".

"Wait, let me get this straight. You were on a road trip? You weren't here specifically for Bucky or the rest of us?" Steve looks genuinely confused.

"Uh, no. I was just enjoying a drink at the bar. I didn't know I was ruining some kind of operation. I'll explain everything to everyone once we get back and I make my phone call".

"Wow… Okay. Let's go".

*

When they arrive back at the tower, Steve lets Demeter make the phone call to the professor.

"Hey professor it's me"

"Demeter, thank God. Where have you been. We've been worried sick. Logan is about to tear the world down to come looking for you".

"I'm okay, just a little banged up. Nothing to worry about. It's actually a funny story, but I'll tell it to you later. I have a question slash favor of you?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"I'm at the Stark Tower here in New York. They captured me thinking I was HYDRA, but I told them I'm not. They have someone here whose memories were taken away by HYDRA. I wanted to know if you would help him recover his memories. He's the best friend of Captain America. His friend from before the war days. Bucky Barnes is his name. I kind of did my thing, and saw that he has memory troubles. Please don't be mad".

"Demeter, you know you aren't supposed to do that unless it's a life or death situation".

"It was life or death. They were interrogating me. Trust me, I have the bruises to prove it. But that's not the point. The point is, will you help or not? He really needs it, professor. He's so scared, I can feel it. He doesn't know who he is, not completely at least. I told him the process would be painful, but that's where I come in. I haven't told them about myself yet, but I'm going to as soon as we get off the phone. I just need to know if you'll help".

"Of course I'll help. How soon do you need me?"

"Great! Can you be here for tomorrow? I want to talk to the Avengers, tell them who I am, what I do, and my part in this recovery process. Is that okay?"

"That sounds fine to me. I shall see you tomorrow Demeter".

"Oh, and professor?"

"Yes, Demeter?"

"Bring Logan. I'm going to need him to help with the pain for this one, I can already feel it. There's going to be a lot of pain and anger. I'll need him".

"He'll be there".

"Thanks. See you tomorrow"

"Goodbye".

After hanging up, Demeter walks over to where the rest of the Avengers are sitting - it is the biggest living room looking thing that she has ever seen. "I talked to the professor and he'll be here tomorrow. Have you told them?"

Bucky nods, "Yes, I told them".

"Not to switch the subject of anything, but who the hell are you? Why can I only find information on you from before you were five" the billionaire questions.

"That is a long story, and one that I'm prepared to share with you all. My name is Demeter. Yes, like the goddess. When I was five, men broke into my house, killed my parents in front of me, and kidnapped me". She glances around, seeing all their faces turn into sad, confused looks. "I woke up not knowing who I was, but only that I was to follow orders for this company that I was at. They kidnapped me, took my memories, and implanted a microchip into my brain. That microchip allowed them to control me - I had to follow their orders, no matter what. They trained me to be an assassin. I've killed men, women, children, whole families, even animals because they told me to. Once I was older, I started capturing people for them to experiment on. People like me".

"What do you mean 'people like you'" Bruce asks.

"I mean special people. You call them enhanced, but that's not what we are. People like Steve and Bucky are enhanced. People like me are not. People like me were born with our abilities. It's a genetic mutation. We're actually called mutants.  There are so many types of mutants and powers out there".

"And what's your power" Bruce asks. Leave it to the scientist to want to know.

"I actually have a few powers. One of my abilities is reading people's emotions. I can tell exactly what emotion you're feeling at any time. I'm also able to manipulate emotions and make people feel whatever I want them to feel. I'm also able to read people's memories through their emotions. I can also take people's emotions away. And last but not least, I have the power of suggestion". She looks up and they are looking at her like she is crazy.

"No way. There's no way" Tony announces, filling up his glass with Scotch.

"I'll prove it to you". Demeter looks at him, making him feel pain in his hand that is carrying the glass.

"Ow" he calls out, dropping the glass on the counter, shaking his hand in pain. "What did you do?"

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. I made you feel a shooting pain in your hand. I have to admit though, that wasn't the first time I used my powers on you all".

"What do you mean" Natasha asks, straightening her spine.

"While you all were interrogating me, I sort of read your memories. To be fair, you all were _interrogating_ me. The only ones I didn't read were you Doctor Banner, Thor, and Bucky".

"I was in the room with you, why didn't you read my memories"  the dark haired soldier asks.

"Because of whatever HYDRA did to you. It almost looked like static in your brain when I tried to see. I could only clearly see your memories since they took you out of the freezing machine last. Which is where the professor comes in at".

"What's his power" the archer asks.

"Professor Xavier can break the walls in a person's head, help them recover memories. He can also make a person do what he wants, he can implant a thought into someone's head. He can also take over a person's body using their mind and consciousness to do so. He's a telepath so he can read your mind and communicate with you telepathically. He's one of the strongest mutants on the planet".

"Holy shit" Clint breathes out, walking over to where the alcohol is and pouring himself a glass.

"Yeah, it's a lot, and that's just the tip of the iceberg for his powers… He helped me. He took me in when he had no reason to. I was actually sent on a mission to capture one of his people. They set up a trap and were finally able to render me unconscious. He was able to send this mind blast, which was the worst pain I have ever felt in my whole life. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in his mansion, with the microchip gone. Him and the rest of the mutants there helped me learn who I was again. They gave me a home".

"That's a lot to take in… What were you doing at the bar last night?" Demeter likes Bruce. He has such a calming effect on everyone.

"Like I told Steve and Bucky, I was actually on a road trip. I've been visiting places that I've wanted see, but was only there for missions with my former company. New York City was my last stop. I stopped in that bar to have drink before I slept for the night. When I saw the mobsters making a deal, I got up and kindly suggested that he give the money he had in the briefcase to some children's foundation and for him to turn himself and the other mobster in to the police. He agreed. Then I left, and was ambushed by these two little assassins" she accuses, pointing at Clint and Natasha.

"Why didn't you just read our memories to know who we were and inform us you weren't HYDRA" Natasha asks.

"Because, the professor and all of them sort of frown upon using our powers on humans unless it's a life or death situation. Before I decided to use my powers, you so kindly sucker punched me and then archer over here shot me with a tranquillizer thank you very much".

Clint just shrugs. "Sorry".

"It's alright. You're forgiven".

"So all of this was just one giant mistake?" Tony can't help but sound amused.

"Yup. But I'm here now and I'm going to help the professor help Bucky here recover his memories".

"What's your part in the process" Bucky asks, finally piping up and talking.

"I'm going to help take the pain away. Like I told you, this process is going to hurt. You're going to be remembering everything. We'll take it chunk by chunk too. If you were to recover all of your memories at once, you wouldn't be able to handle it, and I would also kill all of you from the pain. So we'll take it slowly. You're still going to feel some pain, but I'm going to be taking the majority of it. Trust me, you don't want to feel all that". Her face hardens at the memory of how she handled getting her memories back - Logan finding her broken down crying in the forest, wishing it would all end. She isn't going to let that happen to Bucky.

"How does that work exactly, taking the pain away?" Bruce, ever so curious about people.

"Well Mr. Scientist, it works by me just using my power and taking their pain away. It's not a pleasant experience for me, but I do it in extreme cases. The part that sucks is that pain is always with me. I can always make someone else feel it, and it helps alleviate it some, but there's always a portion of that pain that stays with me. So does their memories associated with that feeling. It’s not something I take lightly, and I wouldn't do it if I weren't a hundred percent positive I could handle it".

"So you're going to have my pain. I don't want to cause anyone any more pain or suffering. What are you going to do with all of that?" Bucky looks like he has already hurt Demeter. He's caused so much hurt in his life, he doesn't want anyone else to suffer because of him.

"Hey, no, it's okay. This is my gift. This is what I do. I help people who need it. And the professor is brining someone along to help me with the pain. Someone that can heal. He can take the punishment I give him. You're going to be okay, Bucky, I promise. None of this was  your fault. You deserve your memories back, and I want to help with that".

"It's okay Buck. You're going to start getting your memories back. We're all going to help. We're all here for you". Steve places his hand on Bucky's shoulder in a comforting gesture. Demeter easily sees that they care for one another, that they loved each other. It makes her miss her family back at the mansion.

"Well, now that we just had a huge bomb dropped on us, I say we order pizza and have a movie night. Demeter, mutant woman, you're more than welcome to join us". It has always been said that Tony lacks tack.

"Oh, um, thanks I guess. I actually need my car. It has my change of clothes, my phone charger, all that kind of stuff". Demeter looks a little bashful.

"No worries. I'll have someone pick it up for you and drive it to the tower. You're stuff will be brought to the guest bedroom".

"Um, thanks. That's very nice of you".

"Well it's the least we can do seeing how we kidnapped you, interrogated you, and accused you of being an evil nazi".

"Well, when you put it like that…"

"Come. Sit. Enjoy. The pizza will be here shortly. Help pick a movie. What movies do you like? Horror, comedy, drama, dramedy, documentaries, sports, chick flicks? Tell us what you like and we'll find it".

"I, um… I'm sort of still discovering what movies I like. I was a mindless assassin for fifteen years of my life. I just sort of got my memories and life back last year. Whatever movie you guys want to watch is fine with me". Demeter feels everyone's gazes on her, looking at her with pity for what she's been through.

With a loud clap of his hands, Tony announces "Comedy it is! Pick one and pull it up. We all need a little comedy in our lives, especially after today". Tony pours himself another drink while Thor picks the movie "Rat Race" to watch. It is going to be an interesting next couple of days.

*

Tony is alerted that Xavier and a man named Logan are here for him. Tony lets them up, almost wanting to say something about the guy being in a wheelchair, but for once in his life, refrains from making a joke. "Welcome to Avengers Tower. We're your lovely hosts for the duration of your stay. Come, I'll have you meet everyone". The professor and Logan exchange looks, but follow Tony into the huge living room area where the rest of the Avengers are seated, plus Demeter.

Demeter gets up, walking over to Logan, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. She gently whispers "I missed you".

"I missed you too, kid" he whispers back, returning her hug.

Pulling away, Demeter looks at the professor and says her hellos. "It's good to see you again professor".

"You as well, Demeter. Everyone has missed you".

Demeter smiles - it feels good knowing she is missed. "Come, let me introduce you to everyone". They enter further into the room. "This is Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Tony, Steve, and Bucky. Guys, this is professor Xavier, and this is Logan".

"It's very nice to meet you all. Thank you for having us and for taking care of Demeter last night. I'm glad that you're giving us a chance to help".

"Logan? How are you still alive" Steve asks, looking surprised to see someone he actually knows.

"I age a lot slower than the rest of ya. It's good to see you again, Rogers". Logan and Steve shake hands, like a couple of old buddies from the war.

"Wait a minute. You know Captain America?" Demeter waits for him to nod his head. "You know him and you didn't tell me? You let me go own about how he's my favorite Avenger and you never mentioned you know him? Are you fucking kidding me, Logan?" Demeter smacks him on his bicep, upset that he never told her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd ever meet him is all. Guess I was wrong".

"Oh, I'm going to kill you one of these days man" she says, her voice lacking any real threat. In the corner of her eye, she can see Steve blushing.

The professor clearing his throat, turns his attention to Bucky. "Now, let me explain the process to you, that way you know what is going to happen. Seventy years is a long time to lose memories over. Because of that, it's going to take a few sessions for me to help you. I'm going to have you relax in a room, and I'm going to be inside your head. You're going to guide me to the last thing you remember, and we'll work from there. Does that sound okay so far?"

Bucky replies "yes", nodding his head, but still looking anxious.

"Demeter told me that she informed you it would be painful. She was not lying. Her and Logan both went through this process. It can be a lot to take in, having all of your memories swoop in at once, or even in chunks. Did Demeter inform you of her part in the process?"

"Yes, she did". Demeter's heart is breaking for Bucky. He looks like a little sad, lost, kicked puppy. She hates that look on him.

"Okay. She'll be there to take your pain away. We're going to take this slowly, but it will require work on your part. You're going to have to help guide me through your brain. I'll help you with the walls set up in your head. You're going to need rest after each session, and maybe even someone to talk to. It could be me if you'd like, or someone else. I've learned it helps to talk after something like that. Does this all sound okay?"

"Yes".

"Good. Now" he says, looking back over to Tony, "is there a room that is close to a gym or anything of the sorts? I only ask because Demeter and Logan will need to go immediately after I am done with Bucky. No one else should be around her until she works it off with Logan. And don't be alarmed when her eyes go black".

"Your eyes turn black?" Tony barely keeps the excitement out of his voice. Clint looks weirded out, Natasha makes a face, Steve looks like he can't believe it, Bucky makes a similar face to Natasha's, and Bruce looks like he wanted to examine that.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to mention that. My eyes are kind of like mood rings. If I'm angry or in pain they turn black. If I'm depressed or sad they turn blue. Don’t worry, you'll see them turn black soon enough".

"Weird... Let's go. Jarvis just set a room up for us downstairs by the gym. Come on".

"One more thing" the professor says, stopping everyone before they head down. "It should just be me, Bucky, and Demeter in the room. If you all want to watch from an outside window you can, but no one else should be in the room. The only other time is if Logan comes in for Demeter".

"Agreed. No matter how loud we scream, or how in pain we look, don't come in. You will ruin the process and one of us could potentially hurt you. And Bruce, I'm not really sure if you want to watch or not. I don't know how that works with the Hulk, but if pain is a trigger, don't watch".

"I'll be fine, I assure you".

"Then we're good to go. Let's help you get your memories back" the professor says.

Everyone heads down to the room Jarvis set up for them. No one but the professor, Demeter, and Logan know what they are in for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters are going to be rough. There is going to be pain - lots and lots of pain and crying, and feels, and angst. I warn you now.  
> Thank you to all of you who are still reading and enjoying the story.


	13. Memories Rediscovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Demeter, and Xavier have their first session together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning: PAIN - lots and lots of pain*  
> The process of memory recovery is painful, so beware if it seems like a trigger or anything.  
> Lots of crying and feels in this chapter. Seriously, poor Bucky and Demeter.
> 
> *Warning: violence (sparring) between Logan and Demeter).
> 
> There is fluff, I promise. It's little, but it's there.
> 
> As always, if I missed anything in the tags, please let me know. Thanks.

The room isn't large, but it isn't small either. It has a double side mirror in it, that way the rest of the team is able to look in and observe the whole process without the others being able to see. The room is an off-white color, and has a couch and a comfy looking chair in it. Tony informs Logan that the gym is right down the hall. Bucky, Xavier, and Demeter enter the room, while the others wait on the other side, watching through the window.

"Please, get comfortable. The more comfortable and relaxed you are, the better". Xavier patiently waits for Bucky to lie down and even his breath out. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready".

"Okay. Are you ready, Demeter?"

"Yup, I'm ready".

"Alright. Bucky, we are going to start of the count of three. One. Two. Three". Bucky grunts, gripping the armchair of the couch as tightly as he can. Demeter is sure itias going to break soon from that metal arm of his.

Not long after Xavier starts with Bucky, Demeter's eyes start to go black from taking Bucky's pain away. "Holy fucking hell" she grits out. Everything inside her hurts, but she continues on. After three minutes have passed, Demeter is full on screaming in agony. Bucky is still on the couch, his entire body writhing. Demeter drops to her knees, grabbing at her head while she screams, taking in the pain of this particular memory Bucky is remembering - it is of him asking why he felt July 4th was so special to him. He couldn't place it, but knew it meant something to him. His handlers used electroshock on him to wipe his memories. They decided to beat him for partially remembering. The torture he went through was terrible.

Demeter begins punching the wall - she has to start getting the anger out somehow. The professor is still working with Bucky on the couch. The room filling with their screams of misery, hoping it will end soon.

"Dear God. How are they doing this?" Bruce asks, observing them.

"Bucky looks tough. It's painful getting those memories back, but he'll be okay. As soon as they're done, I'm going in for Demeter. No one come near there until we're cleared".

"This is madness" Tony says. He can't believe what is happening.

"Is Bucky going to be okay?" Leave it to Steve to be worried.

"He'll be fine, bub. He's tough. He'll make it through. Just be there for him afterwards".

"I will".

"It's so creepy how her eyes turn black like that". Eyes turning a different color reminds Clint of his time with Loki, when everyone eye's under his spell turned blue.

"What is she going to be like after?" Natasha doesn't know if she should be on high alert after this session, or if Demeter will be okay.

"She'll be bad immediately after, which is why I'm taking her straight to the gym. After she works it out of her system, she'll be tired and'll probably sleep for hours. She might also cry. After she sleeps, she's usually good. Her eyes might be a little blue, but she'll be fine". Logan looks on, watching as Demeter hits the floor and walls. He knows the session will be over soon.

Bucky is actually crying from the memories flooding in and the pain he is feeling. Xavier ends the session after about two hours. Bucky is absolutely exhausted. He is curled up in a ball on the couch, facing away from everyone. Demeter is doing her best not to kill the two men in the room. That's when Logan opens the door and drags her to the gym. "Let's go kid".

Natasha, Steve, and Bruce all stay behind with Xavier and Bucky. They want to make sure Bucky is okay and get him to bed. Clint, Thor, and Tony move to observation deck in the gym to watch Demeter and Logan viciously fight.

Logan has Demeter in a headlock, but she uses her powers to make him feel some of the pain she has bottled inside. He releases her and she quickly punches him square in his face, followed by a kick to the head, knocking him down to the ground. She jumps on top of him and starts throwing punches left and right at his head. Logan finally catches her wrist and bucks her off of him, switching their positions. He lands a few good hits to her face before she uses her power again. They exchanged blows back and forth, Demeter using her powers to hurt Logan, and Logan using his healing powers to stay in the fight. After twenty minutes of it, Logan can tell Demeter is starting to slow down, her punches not landing all the time, and her response time is slowing. Logan lands a hard kick to her stomach, causing her to double over. Before she can do anything, he punches her in the face, knocking her down to the mat. He jumps on her and they wrestle for position, before he effectively pins her beneath him. "Sorry, kid" is all he says before throwing two hard hits to the face. The first one daze her, but the second one knocks her out cold. Logan slides off of her, laying down next to Demeter for a  few moments. He can hear the others mumble up above, but doesn't have enough energy to say anything to them. He lays there, letting his healing factor take over.

After the five minutes of laying there, Logan scooped Demeter up in his arms and leaves the gym. He carries her up to the main area where he finds the others. They look at him in horror once they see his face and the knocked out Demeter in his arms. "Bed. Where is the bed?"

"Down the hall to the left" is all Tony manages to sputter before Logan walks down the hall, finding the bedroom Tony directed him to. Once there, Logan deposits Demeter onto the bed, before he goes to the bathroom to get a wash cloth to clean their faces and knuckles with. Once he finished wiping the blood away, he lays down on the bed with Demeter, the two sleeping off what can only be described as the most exhausting fight of their lives.

*

It is around 4:30 in the afternoon when Demeter stirs in bed. She tries opening her eyes, but something heavy is on them. In a moment of fear, she grabs what is on her face and throw it off, hearing it bounce off the wall. Her heart is beating fast, trying to figure out where she is.

"Glad to see you're awake. How ya feelin', kid?" Logan is standing off to the side, near the bathroom.

Demeter turns her body, wincing in pain as she grabs her stomach. She manages to grunt out "fuck" before returning to her original position on the bed.

"You took a hell of a beating. We probably went at it for half an hour in the gym. That was the worst I've seen you".

"I'm sorry".

"Hey, don't be sorry. You did a good thing for Bucky. Tell me, how are you feelin'?"

"I hurt all over, physically and emotionally... He went through so much, Logan. I… I don't know how he survived. Any time he even remotely remembered something about his past life or Steve, HYDRA would take it all away. I felt everything he remembered". Demeter is shaking now, recalling the memories she felt as she took Bucky's pain away.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay. I'm here for you. You did so good in there. I'm proud of you, Demeter. And I know everyone out there is grateful for what you did".

"How is he? How's Bucky?"

"He's holding up. The professor and some off the other took him to bed as soon as we left for the gym. He's been resting. He's up if you want to see him".

Demeter nods her head. "Yes, I want to see him. I want to make sure he's okay".

"Okay. Can you move, or do you want him to come in here?"

"I'll, uh, I'll go to him. How does my face look? How bad is it?"

"Jarvis ran a scan on your body and said you have one fracture in your cheek. The rest are just bruises. You should keep an icepack on your face and ribs. They got the worst of it. The one on your ribs is tapped, so you don't have to worry about that coming off". Logan walks over to the discarded icepack on the ground and brings it over to Demeter. "Just keep this one on your face, alright? Bruising should go down within a day or two".

"Okay" she acknowledges, taking the icepack from Logan and holding it on to her face. "Will you help me up?"

"Of course". Logan slowly helps her move to the edge of the bed, and then slowly helps her stand up. "Think you can walk"

"Yeah, I can walk. Where's everyone at?"

"Tony and Bruce are down in their lab, and everyone else is in that huge lounge room. Steve and Bucky are on the couch".

"Okay. To the couch it is". Demeter inhales a deep breath in and exhales, mentally preparing herself to see everyone.

*

Demeter and Logan walk through the archway leading into the oversized room, immediately spotting Steve and Bucky on the couch. Clint, Natasha, and Thor are in the kitchen cooking dinner, but they're the first to spot her as she walks in. "Hey, how are you , feel - oh god, you look like shit".

"Thanks, Clint. Always good talking to you", she sasses, ignoring them and walking over to the couch. She sees Natasha smack Clint's arm in her peripheral vision. As soon as she is in Steve and Bucky's line of sight, she sees the look of horror on their faces as they take in her appearance. "Yeah, yeah, I know. It looks worse than it feels" she assures, a soft lie, knowing that the two soldier are able to easily see past it.

"Did I do that to you?" And oh God, Bucky's voice sounds so small and horrified in that moment.

"No, no, of course not! You didn't do anything" she proclaims, gently reaching her arm out and placing a reassuring hand on his knee. "No, this was all me and Logan. How are you holding up? I'm sure that first session couldn't have been easy for you".

"I'm fine" he says, but Demeter catches the way he tightens his muscles. "You felt everything I did, right? You saw it all?" Demeter nods her head, looking sorry that she knows such intimate details of his life. "You're eyes are blue. That means your sad, correct?"

"Yeah, it does. Sometimes after I do things like this, the feelings don't always go away immediately afterwards, or even after working it out with Logan on the mats. Sometimes they linger". Demeter attempts a smile, but it falls short.

"Come here" Steve gestures to the space in between him and Bucky. "Come join in on the cuddling. I always told Buck a good cuddle can fix anything". Demeter manages a small smile this time as she slowly nestles herself in between the two super soldiers. "There you go" he says, one hand wrapping around her. Logan takes a seat on the other couch, wanting to be close to Demeter incase she needs anything. It doesn't take long before Demeter is asleep again, her head nestled on Bucky's tense shoulder, while Steve massages her head.

Tony and Bruce are pulled out of their labs to come eat dinner. Everyone is sitting around on the couches, watching television, with Demeter still snuggled against Bucky. They are having a relaxing time until everyone begins to feel a stabbing pain through their bodies. Demeter starts moving around, whining and whimpering in her sleep. Logan is up and over to Demeter in a second, gently trying to wake her up. "Hey, Dem, come on, snap out of it. Wake up, Demeter. Come on kid, wake up". He shakes her with a little more force, effectively waking her up and ending the pain for everyone. "Hey, it's okay, you're okay. Look at me. That's right, just look at me. You're okay. You're safe, Demeter".

"Demeter, are you alright" the professor worries. She almost forgot he is even there. "What was your nightmare about?" He isn't sure if it is a nightmare about her past or if it is a nightmare from what she took from Bucky.

"Hurt… and p-pain. So much suffering" she whispers. She notices everyone staring at her, their faces filled with mixed expressions of pity and sadness, not knowing what to do in this situation. "Why are they all looking at me like that?" If it were the X-Men, she wouldn't care that they are staring, but these people are still new to her, she still doesn't feel comfortable around them yet.

"Hey, it's okay. They're just worried about ya, is all. How 'bout we get ya to bed, yeah? Come on, let's go".

Before Logan gets her up, Bucky interrupts. "Let me, please. Let me help get her to bed. I, uh, I want to".

Logan looks from him to Demeter and back to him again. He can hear the professor telepathically telling him to let Bucky help her. "Alright, bub. Don't do anything stupid".

"I won't" he growls out, annoyed that Logan thinks he would hurt her. Bucky stands and helps Demeter up from the couch. He hugs arm around her shaking body, leading her to the guest room where she is staying. "Here you go" he says, as he helps her lay down on the bed. "What do you need?" He wants to help her, to take it all away, but he doesn't know how. He knows she is only feeling this way because of him, and he hates himself for that.

"Just stay with me" she quivers, voice barely audible as she is already starting to fall back asleep.

Bucky lays down next to her, rubbing his hand up and down her back in a calming manner. "Okay" he whispers back. He still isn't himself, but he is slowly remembering bits of the old Bucky, and the old Bucky would comfort someone that was hurt. They stay like that for an hour, before Logan comes in to take over.

"She have anymore nightmares" he asks, walking through the door.

"No. She's been sleeping peacefully".

"Thanks, bub. I'll take it from here. Steve's out in the room waiting for you".

"Night" he replies, leaving the room to go to Steve.

*

The following day is a day off for everyone. The professor contacts Scott and Jean to let them know that they are okay and that they will probably be gone for the week to help Bucky. Scott and Jean update him on everything going on at the school - nothing exciting to report. Logan bums around the lounge area with Demeter all day. She doesn't feel like doing much, but at least her eyes return to their normal brown color. Steve and Bucky do the same thing, but they mosey around in their room for the day. Everyone else goes about their normal business.

That night is movie night in the Avengers Tower. Thor picks the movie "Air Bud" to watch, a movie about a dog playing basketball. Bucky and Steve even come out of their room for movie night. They all lounge around eating pizza and popcorn, cuddling with each other. After the movie is finished, no one wants to move quite yet, so Clint throws on the animated version of "Robin Hood", the one where Robin Hood is a fox. It is cute and had fun songs - Demeter likes it. She can also see why Clint likes it so much. The rest of the night is filled with more eating and cuddling, until everyone decides to go to bed. The next day is going to be another session with Xavier, Bucky, and Demeter. Demeter has a feeling it is going to be worse than the first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay. Made it through the chapter with arms and legs intact. Good job! The next few chapters are probably going to have the same warnings. It is extremely angst and emotion filled from here on out until the last chapter (probably). I do promise a happy ending, so there's that.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me through this and continuing to read the story. You all are amazing!


	14. Violent Remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Demeter, and Xavier have another session. Bucky and Demeter go for a walk alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, again, this chapter is filled with angst and pain. 
> 
> *Warning: descriptions of torture and violence*
> 
> There is some happiness thrown in - squint and you miss it.
> 
> As always, if I missed anything in the tags, please let me know.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!" This time around, they are smart enough to give Bucky a mouthpiece, so he doesn't end up crushing his own teeth from gritting them together or chomping down, trying to contain his screams. Demeter feels his memories of killing children and families. She can see the indifference the Winter Soldier had towards it, but she feels what Bucky felt during those times - hurt, sorrow, and regret. She knows he wishes he could take all of the terrible, vile acts he committed as the Winter Soldier away, but he can't. Demeter wishes he knew that it isn't his fault, that all of that blood is on HYDRA, not him. The next memory to pass through his brain is one that Demeter does not know how to handle - it's of the asset killing Stark's parents, Howard and Maria. Through black eyes, Demeter watches as Bucky trembles, getting ready to lash out. She makes it over just in time to stop him from hurting the professor. She acknowledges the fact that he is desperately trying to escape the memories that are flooding back into consciousness. Demeter, despite her wanting to stop this for Bucky, continues to take his pain away, but it is getting to be too much. They've been at this for two hours, and Demeter is right - today is much worse than the first session.

Demeter is down on her knees, body trembling from the pain. She silently whispers "stop", but it falls on deaf ears. Another vicious memory attacks Bucky, causing Demeter to yell in agony, tears streaming down her face. She doesn't know how much more of this she can take today. Her nose begins to bleed, but she continues absorbing his pain, not wanting Bucky to have more than he can at the moment. Demeter manages to stand up, eyes practically glowing black, ready to start dishing out this torment to the nearest person. Right as she is about to, another memory crashes over Bucky's mind, causing Demeter to scream at the top of her lungs. She barely manages to stay conscious long enough to see the professor end the session with Bucky, before she passes out from the amount of pain she absorbed.

*

' _What? Where am I? Hello? Who's there?_ ' Demeter hears people around her talking, but she is unsuccessful at making out what they are saying. She attempts to open her eyes, but to no avail. She knows this feeling, she went through it before - she is trapped in her mind. The "darkness" is back, not wanting her to wake sooner than necessary. Demeter learned her lesson from the last time this happened, and accepts her fate to rest until it feels she is healed enough to wake. Demeter feels peaceful as the cold, delicious darkness reigns over her.

*

Blinking her eyes open, Demeter is abruptly hit with the sight of everyone around her, talking and murmuring amongst themselves, waiting for her to wake. "Hi". Her voice is raspy from not using it for so long, and from all of the yelling she did not long ago.

"Hey, kid. How are you? How you feelin'? Logan is right there by her side, just like he has been since the two met a little over a year ago. His hand is around hers, his fingers stroking her hand.

"I'm alright". She takes a worrying glance around the room, shrinking in on herself from the looks each person is giving her. Demeter hates being the center of attention, especially when people feel bad for her.

Logan of course notices the way Demeter curls in on herself, as he sets a protective hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Dem. No one here's mad. They're ain't gonna hurt you, alright? You did nothin' wrong". He rubs her shoulder with his hand, trying to get her to relax.

Demeter still cannot shake the feeling that she did something wrong, which is why she thinks they are all staring at her. Her gaze lands on Bucky. He looks like shit; like he was put through the ringer. There are dark circles below his eyes, his hair a mess, and he looks as if he'd been crying. It is like a punch to her gut. She doesn't want to cause him more suffering. "Hey, you" she says, getting his attention. "Are you okay? Cause no offense, but you kinda look like shit" she attempts to smile, but fails miserably.

Bucky looks at her like she just grew three heads. "Am I okay? Of course I'm okay. You're the one who decided to pass out for ten hours. And, you look shittier than I do". He can't help but notice the way she flinches when he says she is out for so long.

Turning her head back to Logan, she asks "ten?"

"Yeah, kid. Ten hours". He is still rubbing circles on her shoulder, not wanting to stop touching her, to feel connected to her again.

She turns her attention to the professor, tapping her temple twice, indicating that she wants to have a telepathic conversation. ' _Ten hours this time? I guess it's at least shorter than the last time_ '.

' _What do you remember?_ '

' _I remember seeing you pulling away from Bucky when you ended the session. The next thing I know I'm waking up inside my head again. Then I woke up and here we are… The darkness was back again. I think it's trying to protect me_ '.

' _Protect you from what?_ '

' _I_ _think protect me from my emotions. Anytime I've gone into emotional overload, I pass out for long periods of time. The darkness washes over inside my head, like it's healing me. I don't know how else to explain it_ '.

' _I think for now we should consider it as something good. We'll keep a further eye out for it, if it ever manifests physically again. Now, I think we should turn our attention back to the group_ '.

' _Okay_ '. Demeter focuses back on the group, who are all still staring at her. "Sooooo… Is everyone's plan today to just stare at me like I'm some kind of pity party, or…?" She tries keeping her voice light, but the sound of disdain creeps in.

"Dem -"

"What? I don’t need people's pity. I'm fine, I promise. Just let me get some sleep and I'll be right as rain, alright. No one has to worry about me".

"Okay, you heard the crazy emotion lady, everyone out". Oh Tony, such a sweetheart, yet an asshole at the same time. Gotta love him. Everyone but the professor, Bucky, and Steve have already cleared out. Before he leaves the room, she hears Bucky murmur "I'm sorry" before being dragged out by Steve. She feels terrible knowing that Bucky thinks this is all his fault. She doesn't  dwell on it long, her sadness turning into fury as she listens to Logan.

"I'm stayin'. I don't want you bein' alone". Logan sits back in his chair, propping his feet up on her bed.

"I don't need a fucking babysitter, Logan" she bites out, anger lacing her words.

"I know this isn't like the last time. I just want to make sure you don't need anything while you rest. So shut your damn trap, and go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up".

Demeter huffs in defeat, laying back down on the bed, fingers woven between Logan's. She quietly whispers "thanks" before drifting back to sleep.

*

When Demeter wakes next, it is morning already. One would think ten hours the previous day is enough, but one would be wrong. She realizes Logan is still in the chair next to her as she sits up yawning, stretching her arms out. "Morning?"

"Mornin', kid. I's startin' to think you were never gonna wake up".

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't get rid of me that easily... Where is everyone?"

"They're all putzin' 'bout. You know they're all worried 'bout you, right?"

As much as Demeter hates people worrying about her, she is grateful that she has people in her life that do worry for her. "Yeah I know. I just don't get why. I mean, I'm fine. I'm awake, I'm talking, I don't think my eyes are blue. It's all good".

"I smell bullshit".

"Oh fuck you" she adds, her words lacking any heat.

"I would, but you have plans today". He sits back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What do you mean I have plans today? What plans?" Demeter feels herself starting to panic. "Tell me we're not doing another session already?" She is about ready to flip shit if she has to endure a session today.

Chuckling, Logan replies, "no, kid, not another session. You are going on a walk with Bucky. He wants to talk to you".

"Great. I'm sure it'll be a riveting conversation". It's amazing her ability to deadpan a delivery like that.

"Suck it up. I think you both owe each other a talk. Now hurry up and get ready. He's been waiting for you all morning".

"All morning? What time is it?" ' _Geeze louise. Someone's in a fucking rush this morning. I just woke up'_.

"It is 7:46 a.m.".

"Good Lord. Alright, tell him to give me like ten minutes and I'll be ready".

"You got it. See you out there. If you need any help, just holler. I'll be right outside". Logan stands to leave, giving Demeter the once over to make sure she feels up to the walk. He leaves the room to tell Bucky that she will be ready in a few minutes.

"Just what I want to do first thing in the morning. Have a fucking heart to heart with a trained assassin whose having memory problems. Fuck my life" she mumbles to herself, reluctantly getting out of bed. Her muscles are stiff from not using them for almost 20 hours. "Next time, remind me to have someone move my legs so they're not so stiff". Talking out loud to herself is becoming more and more frequent. She doesn't mind though - keeps her occupied. Logan is nice enough to leave her a change of clothes in the room - a pair of jeans, a plain white t-shirt, an infinity scarf, underwear, a bra, socks, and a pair of shoes. The whole shebang. She takes one look in the mirror to make sure she looks somewhat decent before stepping out the door to meet Bucky.

Opening the door, Demeter is hit with the smell of bacon. "Oh dear God" she whispers to herself, quickly moving closer to where the smell is originating from. Once she reaches the end of the hall that opens to the kitchen and living area, she sees Clint Barton, extraordinaire, cooking breakfast. She stands there watching, practically salivating, taking in the aroma as it fills the air. Breakfast foods are her favorite after all.

Without even turning around to look at her, Clint simply states "Sit. Your food will be ready in a sec".

Like the good girl that she is, Demeter takes her seat at the table, beaming at Clint as he cooks her breakfast. "Thank you" she replies, smiling like a little school girl.

"You're welcome". Clint flips her egg over, then puts a slice of toast on the plate for her. After placing her nicely cooked egg on the plate, Clint kindly walks over to her, handong her the plate. "Now eat".

Demeter is full on blushing at this point - Clint is her second favorite after all, and he cooks her breakfast. He is a swell guy in her opinion. "Thank you". She eyes the plate of food up as if she hadn't eaten in a month. The contents of the plate are devoured in two measly minutes. To be fair, Demeter hasn't eaten in twenty-four hours - the girl needs food in her belly. "Oh my God, Clint. That was fucking delicious. I love you".

With a smirk, he simply replies "I am a good cook if I do say so myself". He enjoys Demeter, especially since she compliments him on his cooking.

"I'll marry you if you cook breakfast for me every morning. Ask Logan, I love breakfast foods. Doesn't even have to be for breakfast - it can be for lunch or dinner too".

"As tempting of an offer as that is, I think I'll pass. Natasha might not be too happy with me if I did that. She'd find me and kill me".

Nodding her head, Demeter replies "yeah, I don't want to get on her bad side. We'll always have this moment of breakfast, Clint. Our hearts will go on". She likes that Clint laughs at her jokes, and enjoys her sense of humor. Sarcastic folk gotta stick together.

"To breakfast" he raises his cup of coffee in the air as a toast to their moment. "Incoming" he softly warns as he moves past her.

Demeter turns in her chair to see Bucky walking up to her. "Good morning".

"Good morning. Did Logan tell you I wanted to go on a walk?" He looks determined, as if this talk is his mission for the day.

"Yes, Logan told me. Just let me put my plate in the dishwasher and I'll be ready". She stands to go over to the dishwasher to dispose of her plate. "Ready" she announces as she turns around and walks back over to a waiting Bucky.

"Let's go" he turns on his heel to walk towards the elevator.

' _Oh yeah, this is going to be fun_ ' she thinks, already dreading the decision to get out of bed.

*

The weather outside is warm, but it has a cool breeze passing through. It is the perfect spring weather in New York. The perfect weather for what is inevitably going to be a not-so-perfect conversation. Bucky and Demeter have been walking in silence for the past fifteen minutes - ever since they left Avengers Tower. Nothing like a good old fashioned awkward silent walk to fill the morning. Bucky occasionally glances down at her with a look of conflict. Demeter catches him and counters with her own look of confusion and fleeting patience. They continue walking in silence, neither of them wanting to break the seal.

They walk for an additional thirty minutes, only to stop in front of an old abandoned warehouse. "We're here" is all Bucky says before picking the lock (even though he could burst through if he wants) opening the door for Demeter. "Come in".

"Is this the part where you kill me? If so, just tell me now" she teases, walking through the entryway. She's only been catching up on movies for a year, but she's seen enough of them to know that this is how a good majority of horror movies start.

"No. Why would I kill you?"

"I was just joking. I don't think you're going to kill me".

"Good".

"Now, are you going to tell me what we're doing here, or are we going to sit an awkward silence until one of us gets bored?" She wishes Bucky had his memories back, or at least had a better sense of humor.

"We're here to talk. No one will be listening here. It's just you and me". Bucky towards what appears to be an old sitting or waiting area. There's a table and a couple of chairs. "Come sit…please". At least he said please.

"Okay…" Demeter walks over, sitting down on the chair across from where Bucky is resting. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I want to talk about what we're doing. How my memories are affecting you. You didn't wake up for ten hours. That's not normal".

"You did not drag me out of bed for this. Bucky, I already told you that I'm fine. Me not waking up was good - it meant my body was resting, was healing. Now, if we're done, I'm gonna get going. Good talk". Demeter stands to leave, but Bucky stands as well, not letting her go. "Bucky, move".

"No. We need to talk". He keeps his stance towering and powerful, not backing down from this fight.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bucky. Let me go".

"You can't hurt me more than they already have".

Her heart breaks as she confides. "Yes I could… Please, Bucky".

"You shouldn't have to go through this. You don't deserve it. I've caused you harm, and I don't want that".

"JESUS CHRIST, BUCKY! You're not causing me harm. How many times do I have to tell you. This is what I do. This is how I help make up for what I've done. I've seen what you've done, I've felt it. I've seen what Natasha's done. I know what I've done. We're all pretty similar. We all have done things we wish we hadn't. I wish I never killed before. I sometimes wish I didn't have my powers and that my parents never got killed. I wish for a lot of things, Buck. Doesn't change the fact of the past. All we can do is move on, learn from our mistakes, and grow to be better people".

"How could you want to still help me after seeing everything I've done? After feeling everything I felt? Why would you still want to help me?" Bucky sounds lost, still not realizing his true worth to everyone around him. He is loved, but he is still blind to it.

"Bucky… Listen to me" she pleads, moving so that she is sitting right next to him. She gently places her hands on his shoulders, making sure he is looking her directly in the eyes. "You are worth it. I know you don't see it yet, but you are worth everything. Steve literally put a plane in the arctic because he couldn't live without you. He loves you more than anything or anyone in this universe. He would move heaven and hell for you. People don't do that for other people if they're not worth it. I wouldn't be taking your pain if I thought you weren't worth it. Natasha probably would have put a bullet through your head if she thought you weren't worth it. You, James Buchanan Barnes, are worth it". Demeter is tearing by the end of her speech. She's seen and felt everything Bucky has been through. She's seen his courage to continue fighting and living. She's seen moments where he begged HYDRA to kill him. She's seen him at his worse, but also at his strongest. Demeter hopes that one day he will understand how much he is worth.

"Thank you". His voice is so small, so fragile. He hasn't let anyone see him vulnerable since Steve found him in that abandoned warehouse, his arm caught in a trap. "Thank you for helping me".

"Oh, Bucky, you are more than welcome". She throws her arms around him, squeezing him in a hug.

"What was the worst thing you've felt so far? I could faintly hear you scream when the professor was in my head. You had to have been in so much pain".

"The worst was the emotional pain I felt. It this one time when you vaguely remembered Steve, or at least his birthday. You weren't sure why that day meant something to you, but you just knew it was important. HYDRA tortured you. They electrocuted you, stabbed you, cut you… They made you never want to remember that day again. They took its significance away from you. I could feel… I could feel the hurt and confusion in you. You were fighting so hard to remember, and they kept taking it away from you". Tears stream down her face as she recounts that memory of his. "I'm so sorry you went through that, Bucky. I'm so, so sorry".

Bucky appears as if he is going to cry as well. He remembers the exact moment she is talking about. It hurt like hell for him. He remembers how torn he felt. He knows back then that, that day meant something to him. He remembers feeling confused as to why his handlers were torturing him for not even knowing what that day meant. He remembers his heart breaking all over again in that moment. Each time they took something about Steve away, a part of Bucky died. He holds her tight, now crying into her shoulder. He whispers "I remember".

The two of them stay like that for ten minutes, embracing each other, not wanting to let go. Bucky i the first to pull away, rubbing the tears from his face as he does so. "What's it like? Taking it away?"

"It's powerful… It hurts. A lot. The worst part is the pain never goes away. It's always right beneath the surface, trying to claw its way up. It's physically exhausting. Even when I'm fighting Logan, my body feels beat. The best is when I get to rest, especially after a fight. When I'm fighting with Logan, my body wants to get rid of all the anger and pain inside. It takes a toll on the body. But it's nice too, because I always remember why I did it. I know that in times like this, I'm helping someone".

"What about in times when you aren't helping someone?"

"In times when I'm not helping someone, it still feels nice. It feels like a weight is taken off my shoulders. I know that I'm causing someone else pain in the process, but there's those tiny, flickering moments of relief when I can get rid of some of those feelings. Then I feel like shit afterwards, because I realize that I hurt someone".

"It must suck. And you feel just like we did in those moments".

Demeter wants to inform him that she feels at a heightened level, but it will just make him more upset. "Yeah, it does suck. But like the professor said, it's our greatest gift - to bare the pain other's cannot. To help them, to guide them".

"That's one hell of a burden to have".

"It's one hell of a gift. Don't get me wrong. It can feel like a burden, especially when I lose control of my emotions. But it's still a gift. I can still use it to help others. I'm using it to help you. Just like you can use this" she assures, tapping his metal arm.

"Steve keeps looking at me, hoping I'll remember him. I do remember him, just not completely. I remember snippets of information about him. I remember his mother's name was Sarah, and that he used to wear newspapers as shoes because he was so poor. It's little pieces of information that I remember".

"That's good, Buck. That's really good. Have you told him this?"

"Yeah, I told him. He got that stupid smile on his face, like what I just told him could end world hunger".

"It's because he loves you. And he'll love you not matter what. You know that, right? No matter if you remember him, or if you aren't the same Bucky as before, he'll still love you just as much. He will always love you… I've only known you guys for a couple of weeks, but I read his emotions. I know how he feels about you. He loves the old you, and the new you. He just loves his Bucky".

"What if I can't be the old Bucky? What if I never become him? What then?"

"Then you never become the old him, and Steve will still love you. I don't think you'll ever be the old Bucky. I also don't think you're ever going to be the winter soldier again either. I think you're gonna be an odd mixture of the two. You'll be have your qualities of the old Bucky, but you're going to have some qualities of the asset as well. It's just the way it goes. You just have to find the right amount of each to work. And you will. You have a great support system here".

Bucky is silent for a moment before speaking again. "Do you… absorb any attributes from a person when you do what you do?"

Understanding dawns on her as to why he is worried about her. Or, at least part of the reason. "No, Bucky, I don't. The only things I'm getting from the Winter Soldier is the memories and feelings. That's all".

"Good".

"No one can ever make you go back to being him. You know that, right"? Bucky doesn't make eye contact with her. He continues staring at the ground. "Hey, look at me" she softly requests, gently putting her hand under his chin to have him look at her directly in the eyes. "No one can ever make you be him again. I pity the poor fool who would dare try". Bucky shows a small smile. "No one will ever hurt you again. You're safe with Steve and the rest of the Avengers". She releases his chin, fidgeting with her hands and shifting in her seat. "There is, uh, one question I want to ask you. You can, uh, you can tell me to fuck off if you want". She can see Bucky shifting himself to face her, looking confused and slightly worried about why she is suddenly nervous. "Are you going to tell Tony that you're the one who killed his parents?"

Demeter instantly watches Bucky's face fall flat. "No. Not yet".

"Okay" she responds, putting her hands up to show she is backing off. "Fair enough. Now, is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Yes. If it ever gets to be too much, will you stop?"

Demeter knows exactly what he means. "Yeah, Buck. I'll stop the session. I promise". She doesn't tell him that she tried stopping this past session and that no one heard her. "We should probably get back. I bet Steve's pacing the floor".

"I bet he's in the gym".

"The bet is on, Mr. Barnes. If I win… hm, let's see… If I win, then you have to sing in front of everyone. Can be any song you want".

Bucky flashes her an actual smile. Not only a real, genuine smile, but a little smirk too. "Okay. And if I win, you gotta do everyone's chores tomorrow".

"Deal"

*

"OH, FUCK YOU STEVE" she shouts, turning around and walking out of the gym where Steve is working out. Bucky almost doubles over from laughing. This means Demeter has to do everyone's chores tomorrow.

"What was that about" Steve inquires, walking over to where Bucky stands, still trying to steady his breath from laughing.

"We made a bet. She lost".

"What did ya bet" he curiously asks with a small smile forming on his face.

"She bet that you would be pacing the floor when we got back. I bet you would be in the gym. I won". Bucky looks so proud of himself.

"I'm proud of ya, Buck". Steve is able to slowly see the changes in his best friend. He is shedding more of his Winter Soldier self, and becoming a new Bucky. And Steve loves him just the same.

*

Demeter does end up doing everyone's chores the next day. A bet is a bet, and she always keeps her word. The bet never specified what mood she has to be in, so any time someone gives her another chore, she flashes black eyes at them, threatening them with pain.

Demeter even cooks everyone dinner that night. The whole group sits around in the living area, telling old stories from their lives. They eventually settle in and watch the movie "Animal House". The professor compares the movie to his school for gifted youngsters. Demeter chimes in every now and then with a quip about something that happens at the mansion. It is a fun filled, relaxing evening for everyone. A little R&R does the soul good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, what a chapter! Please don't kill me for all the pain I'm putting them through. It get's better. The next chapter is going to be rough as well. The same warnings will apply.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me and reading this monstrosity of a fic. You all are the best!


	15. You Break To Be Put Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Demeter, and Xavier have their last session. Clint takes Demeter to the carnival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning: mention of past suicidal behavior*  
> *Warning: mention/description of past torture*
> 
> More pain and angst, but it does progressively get better this chapter. There is fluff and happiness towards the end, I promise.
> 
> As always, if I missed anything in the tags, let me know.

It has been four days since Demeter and Bucky's "talk" in the abandoned warehouse. Xavier has worked with Bucky twice since then, just tiny session along the way. They are more for figuring out where all of his memories stand, putting them in chronological order. Demeter isn't a part of those sessions, which is nice. It gives her a break, and it also gives Bucky some privacy with the professor. Today is a different story. Today is going to be an intense session. Bucky is determined to retrieve the rest of his memories today.

Bucky lays down on the couch that is in the room, with the professor right next to him. Demeter is stationed on the other side of the room, putting as much distance from them as possible. Steve, Natasha, and Logan are the only ones on the other side of the wall today. Tony and Bruce are spending the day in their lab, and Clint left to join Coulson on a quick mission.

Demeter gives Xavier a nod, letting him know she is ready. He checks in with Bucky to make sure that he is okay. When they are all ready, Xavier counts down from three, and then they are off.

About thirty minutes into it, Bucky begins screaming Steve's name. Demeter feels the memories coming back to him - the memories of Zola and HYDRA experimenting on him, how we wished he was with Steve, and how Zola informed him of Steve's death. Demeter feels that it took months of trying to convince Bucky of Steve's death, but once he believed it, Bucky broke down and gave in to the experiments. He stopped trying to fight HYDRA. He lost himself the day he believed Steve was dead.

On the other side of the wall, Steve turns around, "I'm stopping this".

Logan quickly grabs his arm to stop him. "No you're not".

"Get off of me Logan. He's screaming for me. It's too much today".

"Too much for him, or too much for you? Listen, bub. I know he's your best friend and you want to help him. But going in there and stopping them isn't helping".

"Fine. But if this goes south, it's on you". Steve turns back around to look through the mirror at his best friend, his lover, his soul mate. He is helpless to only watch as Bucky continues to scream for him.

It is quiet for a few minutes after that. Both Bucky and Demeter are shaking from the toll the memories are taking on them. Out of nowhere, Demeter lets out the loudest, most in-human sound imaginable. Her eyes are completely black as she's grabbing her left arm in agony. Bucky reflexively grabs his left arm as the memory of Zola performing surgery on his arm flies through his mind. He feels the surgical saw cut through his mangled bones, sawing off what was left of his arm. He remembers what it felt like having the new arm put on, how it is laced through his body in case he ever tried to remove it.

On the other side of the wall, it is Natasha who speaks first. "He's remembering what they did to his arm".

"Oh, God. That means the next memory is going to be of -"

"STEEEEEEEVE". Bucky lets out the same sounds as he did when he fell of the train that fateful day back in the war. His arm reaches out, trying to grab hold of Steve's hand, but nothing is there.

Steve is sobbing on the other side of the window, remembering the fall like it was yesterday. It has been a sore subject for him since it happened. He blames himself for Bucky falling and everything that has happened since. He tells himself if he had only been a little faster, a little stronger, he could have saved Bucky.

The screaming eventually subsides. Bucky is reduced to small whimpers. His body relaxing just a tad, remembering his times with Steve in the war before the fall. Demeter, however, is curled up in a ball on the opposite side of the room. Her eyes are completely blue, crying all the tears in her body. She is shaking on the floor, unable to do anything else. Once she senses the shift in Bucky's emotions, she unfurls herself a smidge, but not much. Underneath all the happiness that Bucky is now remembering, Demeter feels his pang of guilt - he feels guilty because he was unable to remember the happy memories for so long.

The memories of Bucky before the war are starting to shine through. These are his favorite. Memories of him and Steve going to science conventions, Bucky picking up women and trying to get one for Steve, Bucky saving Steve in the majority of his fights (or at least Bucky later kicking the crap out of whoever hurt Steve), him and Steve building pillow forts on the floor during their sleepovers. These are the memories to bring a genuine smile to Bucky's face. His body is loose and relaxed on the couch, soaking up each memory that passes through his brain.

Demeter ceases taking his emotions away since these are all happy memories for him - no pain associated with them. She continues to read his emotions just in case, but no pain surfaces for the rest of the session. Demeter is in a tight ball, knees tucked up to her chest, arms around her knees, and her head ducked. Her eyes are completely blue. She is still depressed over the emotions she absorbed today. She knows Bucky is remembering the good times in his life now, and that helps her some, but it isn't enough.

On the other side of the wall, Natasha is inquiring why Demeter isn't feeling as relaxed as Bucky. "Because she stopped taking his feelings. He's feelin' good stuff now, and she ain't takin' that away from him".

"How does she get better?" The redhead shifting her gaze from Demeter to Bucky, and then back to Demeter.

"Time. Support and comfort. Dem doesn't come up from moods like this as easily as regular people. It takes her longer because of her power".

"What do you mean in takes her longer? Why? She feels the same feelings as the rest of us".

"She feels the same feelings, but at a much different level. She -"

"They're done" Steve announces, practically running out of the room to go to Bucky.

"Shit. Steve wait". Logan runs after him, hoping Demeter won't take any emotions out on him when he enters the room. When he gets in there, Steve is already at Bucky's side, helping him stand. He can see the look of relief mixed with elation mixed with sadness on Bucky's face. Logan shifts his attention to the still depressed woman on the floor. "Hey, kid" he whispers, crouching down to her level. "Hey, look at me". Demeter barely glances at him, but it is enough to convey what state she's in. "Come on. I'm taking you to bed". Logan picks her up, quickly vacating the room. He sees the confused and hurt look written on Bucky's face as the soldier catches a glimpse of what shape Demeter is in. He barely hears him mumble something to Steve and Xavier about it.

When Logan arrives at their room, he undresses Demeter, taking her sweaty, smelly clothes off and replacing them with clean ones. He tucks her in under the covers, staying with her until she falls asleep.

*

Steve escorts Bucky back to their room. As soon as they arrive, Bucky breaks down crying. These are tears of joy mixed with sadness from everything he's remembered. Steve assists him getting to his bed, wrapping his arms around Bucky as he cries into Steve's shoulder. Bucky repeating "I'm sorry" and "I remember". They stay there like that until Bucky is unable to cry any longer. They are two soldiers, two friends, two lovers finally reunited after seventy years apart. Life is finally looking up for Steve and Bucky.

*

Later that night, Xavier, Logan, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Bruce, and an exhausted Clint are discussing their days. Tony and Bruce don't make much headway in their lab. Clint tells them about his mission, how he helped Couslon take down a gang of wanna be thugs for HYDRA. He asks how the session went, and Bucky tells him.

"Logan, before their session was done, you were saying something about how Demeter feels at a different level than the rest of us. What does that mean?" Natasha has her interrogation face on, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"Wait, what? She feels differently than us?" Bucky and Steve are both confused.

"Demeter didn't tell you" Xavier asks incredulously. They all shake their heads no. "Demeter has many talents as she's told you. One of the drawbacks to her powers is that she feels emotions at a heightened level. What you and I feel, she feels twenty times more. Every emotion is twenty times more intense for Demeter. It's why she's had such a difficult time with her anger once the microchip was removed from her head. She's gotten it under control, but in situations like this, where she's taking pain away, she has a harder time keeping control".

"Wait. You mean to tell me that she felt everything I did at a higher level?' Bucky sounds like he is attempting to contain his temper.

"Yes. I thought she would have told you that. I guess I was mistaken".

"I'm gonna kill her" he spits out as he stands. Steve quickly grabs his arms to pull him back down to the couch. "Steve! She felt all that more than I did! She's gotta be in a shit ton o' pain right now".

"She'll be alright, bub. Trust me. Just give her time to recover and she'll be good". Logan knows that she won't be fine for a while, especially if no one goes to talk to her. But he doesn't want Bucky to worry or blame himself even more.

"I'm not gonna let her go through this alone. She should have someone there. There were times when I wanted to kill myself under HYDRA's rule. How d'ya think she feels? She could hurt herself". Logan and Xavier exchange worried looks, knowing full well that Demeter felt that way last year. "What? What aren't you telling us?"

Xavier lets out a small sigh. It isn't his style to tell on people or share their secrets, but Bucky does bring up a valid point. "Last year when I helped Demeter regain her memories, there was a day when she wanted it to end. Her emotions took over, she ran out into the forest, and Logan found her with her hands bloodied and bruised. It took her quite some time to be truly okay with herself".

"And you left her in there alone?" At this point, he is shouting. Bucky wants nothing more than to punch Xavier and Logan. "I'm going to talk to her".

"Wait, Bucky. Let me talk to her. Please?" Everyone is a little taken back that Steve is the one that wants to go talk to Demeter.

Bucky stares at his best friend, but eventually caves, letting him go. "Fine. But I am talking to her tomorrow. No matter what".

"Fair enough". Steve turns around to walk to Demeter's room. He faintly hears Bucky seething on the couch, knowing how upset he is about the situation. When Steve reaches her door, he knocks gently, announcing himself in the process. "Hey Demeter, it's Steve. Is it okay if I come in?" He waits for a reply that never comes. "I'm coming in". He opens the door to find Demeter laying in bed with her back facing him. She is quiet as he listens to her slow, steady heart rate. He sits on the edge of the bed, hoping that she will turn over to look at him. "Hey. How're you doing?" Still, no reply. Not even a flinch of acknowledgment. "Everyone's worried 'bout you. Especially Bucky… You never told us that you feel emotions at a higher level than the rest of us". Still nothing. "That's okay. It was your decision. Don't know if you know this or not, but this serum makes me feel sensations more than other people. Touch feels more intense, cold feels colder, hot feels hotter. That was probably the thing that took me longest to get used to with this new body. I don't know what it's like to feel emotions more, but I do know what it feels like to feel sensations more than others. It's not fun. Sure, it has its upsides. Sex is more intense." He smiles softly at his own joke, hoping it would elicit some kind of reaction from Demeter, but it doesn't. She just continues laying there motionless, listening to Steve. "I also remember how I felt after I lost Bucky. I know you know how I felt. You read me in that interrogation room. After he died, I felt broken. Hopeless. Like nothing could ever be right again. Peggy was there, but she wasn't Bucky. When I was in the plane by myself, I started thinking that I could join Bucky in death. At least we'd be reunited… Turns out fate had a different ending for us. He's alive. He remembers me now. I mean, he really remembers. And that's thanks to you and Xavier. You helped him. You helped give him his life back. And more than that, you helped give him his identity back. That means more to him than you could imagine. And it means somethin' to me too. You helped give me Bucky. You helped the only person that I have ever loved. You did that. And I want you to know that you're not alone in this. I'm here for you. Bucky's here for you. We're all here for you. If there is anything me or anyone else can do to help you, please let us know. You're worth it, Demeter. I know I haven't known you for very long, but I do know that you are worth it".

Demeter rolls her body to face Steve (which is a battle all its own). Her face is puffy around those bright blue eyes, dried tears on her cheeks. "I don't want to be alone… But I don't want to hurt anyone".

"There you are" he comforts, wiping the stray hairs from her face. "Do you want me to get Logan?"

Demeter ever so slightly nods her head.

"Okay. He'll be right in. I mean it, if you need anything, let us know. We owe you everything". Steve got up to leave.

"Thank you" she whispers, curling in on herself.

"No. Thank you, Demeter" he replies, bending down to place a small kiss on her forehead. Steve gently closes the door on his way out. He makes his way out to the lounging area where everyone is still seated.

"How is she?" Bucky is on his feet and ready to go if she needs anything.

"Her eyes are bright blue. She said she doesn't want to be alone, but she doesn't want to hurt anyone. I asked her if she wanted you" he points towards Logan, "and she said yes".

"Alright. Night everyone". Logan walks away as Bucky continues questioning Steve about what was said. When Logan enters the room, he is hit with the sight of Demeter looking at him like a lost, broken puppy. "Hey, kid. I'm here". He removes his jeans and socks, leaving his shirt and boxers on as he climbs into bed with her, wrapping her up in his arms. "Go to sleep. It'll be better tomorrow". He feels her head move up and down in a nod. Within minutes she is fast asleep against his chest.

*

Steve brings Bucky back to their room after an intense conversation with Xavier about Demeter's health and well-being. Bucky is still rightfully upset that Demeter was left alone for so long when she could have easily tried to hurt herself. "I'm just saying, Steve, she's been through enough because of me. She shouldn't have to be going through this at all".

"I know, Buck. I'm hoping that my talk with her helped. Maybe she'll come out of her room tomorrow. We just gotta wait and see".

"What did you two talk about?" Bucky changing out of his clothes from the day.

"I talked about feelings. I told her how it took me a long time to adjust to feeling sensations more than I did before. I also told her how I felt after you fell. And I told her why I crashed the plane".

"Steve… I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Stevie. For everything I put you through. You deserve better than me. I just-"

"Stop. Stop that right now. You didn't put me through anything". Steve is standing in front of Bucky now, cupping Bucky's face in his hands. "HYDRA, and the army, and war, and life put us through everything. I need you to listen to my next words very carefully. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. I've loved you since we were kids. You are my best friend and the only person I have ever loved. And I am never letting you go, ever again".

"I love you too, Steve". Steve hugs Bucky with such ferocity, that if Bucky were a normal human, he would have crushed his bones. Bucky pulls away to get a good look at Steve's face, searching for permission to kiss him. He hears Steve whisper "yes", and that is all the confirmation he needs. The kiss starts off slow, but powerful. It quickly grows more frantic as the long lost passion surges through each man. Steve and Bucky share their first night together in the same bed after finally being back together.

*

The next morning is not better. Demeter refuses to come out of her room. Hell, she refuses to leave her bed unless it is absolutely necessary (i.e. going to the bathroom). Logan encourages Demeter to eat breakfast, but she refuses. Logan stays, laying on the bed comforting her, until it is lunch time. "I'll be right back. You need to eat, Dem" he offers, getting up off the bed to go to the kitchen. When he walks out of the room and down the hall, he sees Bucky and Clint at the kitchen table. "Afternoon".

"How is she?" Bucky's been wanting to talk to her all day, to see how she is doing.

"She's not talking. I'm lucky to get her to look at me when I ask her a question. She doesn't want food, but she needs to eat something. Figure cheese and crackers are tiny enough for her right now".

"I'm going to talk to her".

"Just hold on a second there, bub. You're not going anywhere near her yet".

"Yes I am. Now get out of my way". Bucky is prepared to fight his way through if need be.

Logan, being the drama king that he is, protracts his claws. "Let me try to get her to eat, and then you can have your little talk with her". He smirks as Bucky examines his claws with mild interest.

"Fine" he grumbles, turning around to get a cup of coffee.

"You superpowered folk are a bunch of drama queens" Clint teases, walking away with his massive cup of coffee in hand.

Logan flips Clint off  with a  smile on his face, as he passes him to leave the kitchen. Logan returns to the room he shares with Demeter, hoping that she will at least eat one cracker or piece of cubed cheese. Demeter is in the same position as she was before Logan left the room - curled up holding a pillow to her chest. "Hey, I brought you something to eat. It's nothing big, I promise. Just some cheese n' crackers". He sits down on the bed, setting the plate down in front of Demeter. "Please eat something". Demeter stares at the plate like it is going to eat her if she goes anywhere near it. She shakes her head no, hoping Logan will take it away. "You need to eat. You're gonna kill yourself if you keep refusin' food. Please, Demeter. Please eat somethin'". Logan is getting ready to force feed her if she won't eat.

Demeter steals another look at the plate, putting all of her effort into picking up a cracker with a cube of cheese on it, and bringing it to her mouth to eat. She takes one bite of it and looks miserable as she chews it, like it is the worst tasting food she's ever had. Much to Logan's delight, Demeter eats five whole crackers and cubes of cheese. A victory is a victory in his book. After she is done, she pushes the plate closer to him, wanting him to take it away. "You did real good, Dem. I'm proud of you. Now, there is one annoying super soldier out there who wants to talk to you. I told him if he'd let me try and get you to eat lunch, that he could come in n' talk to you after. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. Just listen to him. Hear him out, 'kay?" Demeter glances up at Logan with sad, blue eyes. "You can do this, kid. Think of it as a mission if you want. Your mission is to listen to what Bucky has to say. If you need anything or he does somethin' you don't like, yell and I'll be here in a second". Demeter nods at him, still not ready to verbally communicate.

*

Bucky walks in moments after Logan leaves the room. His heart aching at the sight of Demeter on the bed, curled up into the fetal position while she clings to the pillow at her chest. She avoids eye contact with him through his walk to the bed, or as he sits down next to her, placing his arm on hers, rubbing it up and down in a comforting manner. Finally, he breals the silence. "Hey". Demeter shoots him a quick look in acknowledgement. "I guess a look's better than notin'". It is amazing how quick his Brooklyn accent is coming back to him. "I wanted to apologize… for everything. You should never have had to feel the things I've felt. It ain't fair to you. 'M grateful for everything you've done for me. You helped me get better, and I can't thank you enough for that. I just hate that I had to cause you pain in the process".

In the time it takes for him to lick his lips before continuing, Demeter actually speaks. "Don't be sorry". Her voice is hoarse from not using it since yesterday. That, and not to mention the amount of yelling and crying she did.

"I am sorry. 'S not your fault what I went through. It was my burden, not yours. I'm the reason you're in this bed right now".

Demeter musters up the strength to reach her hand up and cover Bucky's mouth before he can speak anymore. "HYDRA is the reason, not you". She squeezes his lips together, which basically tells him to shut up and not blame himself.

"I was HYDRA… for seventy years".

"No… you were a prisoner of war". Her voice is small and gravelly, but her words are powerful, much like her.

"Maybe if I tell myself that enough, I'll actually start to believe it". He lightly squeezes her shoulder in appreciation. "So, you wanna tell me why you didn't tell us that you feel emotions at an enhanced level than the rest of us?" He raises his eyebrow at her questioningly. Demeter tries rolling over, but Bucky holds her in place, securing her positionn. "Uh uh. Not so fast, doll. Tell me why you didn't tell us".

With as much of an eye roller as she can manage, the young woman replies, "I didn't want you to worry".

"I'm worried now! I about blew a gasket when Xavier told us. You have been in more pain than is even imaginable, and you didn't tell anyone".

"Because I could handle it".

"Yeah, right. You look to be handling it so well right now. Jesus, you're just like Stevie. Bullheaded and self-sacrificing. You two have a fuckin' martyr complex or somethin'. Always tryin' to sacrifice yourself for someone else. You need to get over that shit. It's a bad fuckin' habit. It'll get ya killed".

"M' not a martyr, you fucking loser. I was just tryin' to help".

"Yeah, well, you helped yourself right into a fucking depression". He is exasperated. Arguing with her is like arguing with Steve - he'll never win.

"You seem to be doing better. Must'a done something right".

"Yeah, I'm doing better. Thanks to you and that Xavier guy. And even Logan, since he helped you refrain from killin' all of us. That's not the point. The point is, you should have told us that you felt all that shit more than me. We could have taken it slower, done more days instead of pilling it all into two weeks. Coulda been a little smarter 'bout it".

"But you're better. That's all that matters. You have Steve back, and Steve has you back. And you have you back. That's the most important part".

"I'm glad I have me back too. And Stevie. I don’t know what I'd do without him".

"I'm happy for you, Bucky".

"Thanks… So, you plannin' on joinin' us today, or you just gonna lay in here all day"?

Demeter's response is her rolling over onto her stomach.

"Really? You're just gonna stay in here?"

"I don't feel like coming out yet. Just let me be alone for a while. That's all I want".

"How do I know you ain't gonna try somethin' stupid in here by yourself".

"Cause I'm fucking depressed, not suicidal. I don't have the energy to even get out of bed, let alone kill myself".

"Fine. But we're going to check on you throughout the day, makin' sure you're okay".

"Looking forward to it" she retorts in her best sarcastic voice.

Bucky bends down to kiss her cheek. "See you later".

*

"Well, how did it go" Steve asks, seeing Bucky walking up the hall.

"It went alright. She at least talked a little. Said she wasn't ready to come out of her room yet. She's a lot like you, ya know".

"Whaddya mean by that" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

"You're both bullheaded and don't accept help from anyone. And you both have a fuckin' martyr complex".

"I don't have a complex. I just don't like bullies, and seeing innocent people get hurt".

"Yeah, no complex at all" Bucky replies sarcastically.

"Jerk".

"Punk". It feels good for Bucky to finally be able to joke around with people again. It is nice knowing that he isn't going to get punished for being playful or funny. It is great to have his Stevie back.

*

The rest of the day passes by. Each person takes a turn checking in on Demeter, asking if she needs anything. Logan brings her more crackers and cheese to eat, along with two bottles of water. She eats the whole plate this time and drinks one bottle of water. It is progress. She might not have been ready to leave the room, but she is making small strides to do so. She even gets out of bed at one point and walks over to the door, but decides against opening it, so she retreats back into bed.

The group go about their days as usual, except for the checking in on Demeter part. Thor even arrives back from his trip to Asgard last week. They all update him on the situation, and he is very sad to hear about Demeter. Thor wi always so jovial, and he wishes to visit Demeter to try and cheer her up, like they would do on his planet - drink, and sing, and dance. Bucky thankfully stops him from doing so. It is around eleven o'clock when everyone adjourns to their respective rooms, each of them hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

*

Yawning, Demeter sits up in bed, stretching her arms out. Logan isn't in the room. ' _Probably cooking me breakfast_ ' she thinks. She makes her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth for the first time in two days. Needless to say her breath stinks like last week's old garbage. Looking in the mirror, she see the reflection of her eyes, noting they are less blue than the day before, which is an encouraging sign. After she finishes brushing her teeth, she has a huge urge to pee. When she is washing her hands, it dawns on her that she hasn't showered in two days either. Sniffing herself, she thinks ' _Oh Jesus, fuck, that's bad. I'm definitely fucking showering_ '. After she undresses herself, she hops in the shower, washing off the stench that has taken up residency on her.

After the shower is complete, she hears Logan walking through the door calling her name. "In here" she calls out.

He walks in to find her toweling herself off. "Didn't expect to see you up".

"Yeah, I had some energy this morning. Figured I should probably at least shower. I kinda smelled".

"I noticed. Your stench was overwhelming my nose".

"Oh shut up" she says, whipping the towel at him.

"Does this mean you're feelin' better"?

"It means I'm getting better. I'm still not 100% better yet, but I'm getting there. My eyes are still blue".

"Not as blue as yesterday. I take that as a win. What are your plans today?"

"I think I'm going to come out of the room… Maybe watch a funny movie on the couch or something".

"Sounds like a plan".

"Is, um… are they… are they mad at me?"

"What? No. No one's mad at you Dem. I mean, Bucky is pissed you didn't tell him, but other than that, everyone's fine. Bucky's fine. He seemed alright after your talk last night".

"Okay". She inhales a deep breath for four seconds, holds it for seven, and releases it for eight. "I'm gonna get dressed, and then I'll be out".

"Should I put your food in the kitchen instead of on the bed?"

"What did you make?"

"I cut up fruit for you. There's yogurt in their fridge if you want that too".

She shakes her head no. "No, that's alright. I'll eat it on the bed… Thanks, Logan".

"You're welcome, kid" he replies, walking over to kiss her forehead. "Get dressed, eat, and then I'll meet you on the couch".

"Okay". She watches Logan walk away, pointing at the cup of fruit he has on the bed for her, before he exits the room. "Okay, Demeter. You can do this. Just one step at a time" she says out loud. Getting dressed seems like a chore to her today. ' _Wonder what they'd do if I went out naked… Meh. Maybe another time_ '. Walking back over to the bed, she eyes the cup of fruit like it is an enemy. "Okay. I can do this. Just take a bite, Demeter. Come on. You can do this. You're a trained assassin for Christ's sake. You can eat a piece of fruit". Thank heavens no one else is in the room. "Jarvis".

"Yes, Ms. Demeter?"

"It's just Demeter".

"Of course. My apologies".

"It's fine. Hey, um. Do you, uh, do you tell people what I say in here?"

"No, unless otherwise stated by you or Sir".

"Which Sir? There's a few of them out there if you hadn't noticed".

"Sir is Mr. Stark".

"Wow. Weird. Okay. So, has he requested audio files or anything?"

"I was told to report any talk of harming the Avengers".

Demeter scrunches her face, trying to think back to see if she said anything threatening towards them. "Have I said anything like that" she asks, unsure of herself at the moment.

"No, you have not".

"Okay. Thanks Jarvis".

"You're welcome, Demeter".

"What an interesting fellow" she whispers. "Okay" she huffs. "Time to eat some fruit. It's not gonna kill me. I can do this". Demeter is giving herself one hell of a pep-talk. She inches her way closer to the cup, seeing that there are cut up banana, apple, and strawberry slices. "Thank you, Logan" she whispers, picking up a piece of apple.

*

Thirty minutes later Demeter finally emerges from the room with an empty cup. She peaks her head out to see if anyone is standing guard or watching her door - you never know, the Avengers are a little creepy and weird in their own right. The coast is clear. As moves closer to the kitchen area, she hears voices talking to each other. From the sound of it, it is Clint, Bucky, and Logan all talking to each other. She makes it to the entrance and stops, deciding to watch the three interact. Clint is attempting to convince the other two that whatever his "plan" is, is a good idea. Bucky and Logan don't look that convinced, but Clint seems like he has the ability to charm his way into something. Without even looking, Logan says "it's not nice to stare, ya know".

Surprised that anyone noticed her, Demeter straightens her posture. "Uh, well, um, no one said it wasn't allowed, so there" she retorts, sticking her tongue out at him like the child she is.

This time it is Bucky piping up. "Real mature".

"Glad I came out of my room for this" she speaks as she begins to turn back to go to her room.

"Wait!" Clint reaches out and grabs her shoulder, effectively stopping her from going anywhere. It isn't like she has the energy to shake him off or anything, so might as well hear what he has to say.

"What" she whines, drawing out the word to sound more whiney.

"You're coming with me" the archer states, looking like he has a bright idea.

"Going with you where? If you hadn't noticed, I'm not Ms. Sunshine right now".

"Banner isn't Mr. Sunshine most days, but he still manages to get out. Barnes over here isn't Mr. Rays of Sunshine either, but he'll be getting out soon".

Bucky grumbles out "thanks for the vote of confidence, Barton".

"Even Logan over here seems like a party pooper,  but I bet he still gets out every once in a blue moon". Logan just levels him with a death stare.

"Come on kid, it'll do you good to get out for a bit". She knows Logan and the others are right, but that doesn’t make her feel like going any more than she did before. "How 'bout this: I'll make a deal with you. If you go out and have a shitty time, than you can come back here and kick my ass. I won't even put up a fight. If you go out and have a great time, then ya learn that you still have some fun left in ya".

Rolling her eyes, she lets out a loud, dramatic sigh. "Fine", drawing out the word as dramatically as possible. "Where are we going" she asks, turning to look at a now smirking Clint.

"Can't tell you. It's a surprise".

"Of course it is" she deadpans.

"Let's go. Don't want to be late".

"Ugh. Fine. See you two losers later" she accuses, pointing and glaring at the smirking Bucky and Logan.

*

"Here we are" Clint exclaimes.

"The carnival? You dragged me out to the carnival? Why?"

"Gosh, you're such a downer. Cause the carnival is fun, that's why. I'll even teach you how to beat the games - they're rigged anyways".

"That's right. You were in the circus. Didn't think you'd want to come back to a place like this".

"This is a carnival, not a circus. Trust me, I wouldn't go back to the circus unless it was for a mission. Come on, let's get started".

The two make their way through the carnival, starting off walking around the vender booths that people have up. Even though she knows it is fake, Demeter has her palm read and someone tells her what the future holds for her. After that, Clint and Demeter eat a hot dog, walking around some more. They stumble upon the petting zoo that is there, which of course brings a smile to her and Clint's face. Animals are amazing, who wouldn't smile at them. Demeter's favorite animal to pet is the goat, and Clint's is the sheepdog that is running around. Clint informs Demeter that he had a dog named Lucky during his early adulthood years. After the petting zoo, they play a couple of games, and win of course. Clint wins her the biggest stuffed animal from each game - needless to say they are unable to carry them all, so Demeter donates a few to some small children. Next on the agenda is the ferris wheel. "You know, I've never actually been on one of these before" she says.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah, really. The whole killing people sort of got in the way".

"Oh, yeah. Right. Forgot about that".

"Yup" she s, psopping the 'p' at the end of the word. "I've never even been to a carnival. Not even for a mission. I did have to watch films of families at the carnival, just in case I ever had a mission there. I never did though…" trailing off from her sentence.

"Right, well, um, sorry".

"Not your fault, dude. Thank you for bringing me here. At least I can experience it once in my life".

"You're welcome. Glad to see you're having a good time. You know, for a sourpuss like you".

Demeter playfully shoves him, smiling as she does it. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even an old sourpuss like me can still have a good time". They move through the line, eventually making it into the cart for the ferris wheel. "Sorry I haven't been great lately. It's just hard sometimes with, um, you know, everything". She is looking down at her hands, not wanting to make eye contact with Clint.

"You've seen my memories right?" She nods her head. "Then you know that I've had someone get inside my head and control me. Make me do things I didn't want to do…"

"Loki" she whispers as the ride begins to move.

"Yeah. It was tough. I knew what I was doing while he controlled me. I could see each person I shot. I saw that I almost destroyed the whole team, but in those moments, I didn't care. All I cared about was what Loki wanted. I hate myself for that. I hate knowing that Phil died from it. I mean, he's back now, but still. Thank god Natasha was there to stop me. I don't even want to know what would have happened if she hadn't been".

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that… It sucks. I mean, Loki had you for what, a couple days? Imagine that for fifteen years. I remember every kill I ever made. I remember the faces of each person as I killed them, what they felt… all their emotions, all their pain".

"You should talk to Nat. She was with the KGB longer than you were with whoever it was. The point is, I know what it's like to be unmade. Nat knows. The KGB did crazy things to her in the Red Room. Bucky knows. The poor guy was with HYDRA for seventy years. Even Steve knows what it's like - the army controlled him for a while, and before that, his failing body controlled him. Banner knows what it's like. That guy has to deal with the hulk every day. We all know what it's like. You're not alone in this". He wraps his arm around her shoulders as she cuddles up to him on the seat of the ride. The conductor stops the ride when they are at the very top.

"Thanks, Clint… I know I'm not alone in this. It's just sometimes I need time and space to recover. The amount of emotions that I absorbed, and how badly I felt them… it took a toll. I know every little thing HYDRA ever did to Bucky. I felt every emotion he did. For seventy years, that man did not have one pleasant feeling. And it hurts. My whole body hurts". She hadn't realized she begins shaking until Clint grips her tighter.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm not gonna say I know how it feels, cause I don't. I can't imagine, or still believe for that matter, what you did and how it felt. Talk to Barnes about it. You're the only one who knows what he's been through. Well, you and that professor guy".

"Xavier, yeah. He's amazing. So is Bucky. So are all of you actually. You guys really need to start your own PTSD support group or somethin'. The amount of shit you all have collectively been through is ridiculous".

Clint snorts at the idea. He imagines them all in a circle, looking at each other in awkward silence. "Yeah, that would go over well". The ride concludes and they get off to play some more games.

"Thanks again for this, Clint. I've had a really good time so far".

' _I can't believe I did something right_ ' he thinks. "You're welcome. Glad I could help. We all hated seeing you in bed, depressed and lonely".

Demeter makes a small huffing noise through her nose. "Yeah, well, again, a lot of bad emotions that I was trying to process. It takes time to heal from that. Especially mentally and emotionally. The physical stuff goes away the quickest, but it's the mental and emotional pain that lingers like a bitch".

"At least your eyes aren't blue anymore".

"They're not" she asks, surprise lacing her voice.

"Nope. They changed back on the ferris wheel".

"That's amazing. Thank you Clint" she squeeks, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "Does it weird you out at all? Seeing them change colors?"

"It did at first. Reminded me of Loki. But I guess you get used to it after a while".

"Yea, freaks everyone out the first time".

They eventually end up back at the entrance of the carnival. "Alright you little peanut, you ready to go?"

"Did you just call me 'little peanut'? Go ahead, call me it again, see what happens. I will kick your ass up and down the training room" she teases, taunting him with threats as they make their way to the car.

"Ooooh, what are you gonna do, huh? Feel me to death, ya _little peanut_ " he sasses with a  huge, shit eating grin on his face. Demeter throws a quick left hook that just barely misses his face. "Feisty".

"Oh, definitely the training room this week. I'm gonna kick your ass old man" she announces, getting into the car.

"Ouch. Hit a man below the belt why don't you. Not that old".

"Meh, old enough. Now drive. I have to fill my room with all of these stuffed animals you won me".

"Ma'am yes ma'am" he jokes, giving her a mock salute as he starts the car. He sees her grinning out of the corner of his eye. ' _Mission accomplished_ ' he thinks as he drives them back to the tower.

When they arrived back to the tower, Demeter shows off all of her stuffed animals that Clint won her. "Look" she exclaims as she sees Logan, Bucky, and Steve on the couch. "Clint won me all of these. They're all named after you losers".

"I'm touched" Logan says as straight-faced and monotone as he possibly can. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yes! There was a petting zoo there. I got to pet a goat!" She sounds like a little kid whose dream just came true.

"How exciting" he replies sarcastically.

"It was a goat, Logan. A goat" she shoots back. She can't understand how no one else is excited about the goat. It is one of her favorite parts of the carnival.

"Did you ride the ferris wheel" Steve asks.

"Yup. It was my first time ever. The guy stopped us at the top. It was nice".

"Stevie always loved being stopped at the top. It gave him a great view to sketch later. I loved looking at those sketches". He notices Steve slightly blushing next to him. They look happy, together again after all these years.

"I'd love to see them sometime" she suggests, taking the beer Clint handed her.

"Nice to see your eyes back to them pretty browns of yours" Logan notes, taking a drink from his bottle of beer.

"Well what can I say? Clint knows how to show a gal a nice time" she winks at Clint.

"So that's what they call it these days, huh? 'Going to the carnival'. Sure, sure". Steve might be portrayed as an old man by Tony and some media outlets, but he is just as much a jokster as the rest of them.

"There's only one way to find out, Steve". She blows a kiss to him and winks, making a seductive face afterwards.

"Ah, imagine it: an Avengers orgy". Leave it to Clint to make it super sexual.

"Thanks, but I think I'll stick with Steve" Bucky jests, lacing his fingers in with Steve's.

"Aw, Bucky. You don't want to have sex with Tony?"

"I'd rather shoot myself in the foot". That gets everyone to laugh.

"I guess it's just a pipe dream for us, huh, Clint?" Demeter loves that they all have a great sense of humor. It makes being around them easy and fun.

The rest of the night is spent hanging around and talking to each other. Demeter discloses to everyone about the goat, and the ferris wheel, and the stuffed animals. Everyone is happy to see her with a smile on her face. Demeter even informs them that she is going to kick Clint's ass for calling her peanut. Later that night when Demeter and Logan go to bed, she tells him that she is happy Clint dragged her out of the tower, and how it did her good. Logan is happy that she is starting to be herself again. This is the Demeter that he learned to love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How cute was it of Clint to take Demeter to the carnival! Protective Bucky is killing me - I love it!  
> The next chapter has a lot of smut in it. It's a nice break from all of the heartbreak and angst I've put everyone through.
> 
> Thank you all for continuing to read this story. I hope you all are enjoying it. Let me know what you think of it!


	16. The Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demeter spars with Clint and Natasha. The teams learns something new about Demeter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Dirty talk, name calling, and choking all happen in this chapter. It is all consensual and liked by both parties.
> 
> Enjoy this fun chapter while it lasts.
> 
> As always, if I missed anything in the tags, please let me know. Thanks.

It had been two days since Clint took Demeter to the carnival. Professor Xavier has left the tower, claiming that he needs to be back at the mansion, which is fine. Bucky is doing well - he has all of his memories back and is interacting with Steve fairly well. Demeter is also doing better, so the professor decides he isn't needed there any longer. Before Xavier leaves, he informs Bucky that if he ever needs anything, to not hesitate to ask. That goes along for the other Avengers as well. Kurt drops by after that to teleport him back to the mansion. Logan stays behind with Demeter, since she wants to stay a few extra days to recover and make sure Bucky is going to be alright.

Today is the day that Demeter is going to make good on her promise to Clint - to kick his ass in the training room for calling her 'Peanut'. Not that she particularly minds the nickname, she just likes messing with Clint. She finds him on the shooting range with his bow and arrows. She slowly, but not quietly, approaches him, letting him know that she is there. "Whaddya want?"

"I wanted to see if you wanted to spar for a bit. I do owe you one after all" she says with a glint in her eye.

"You really wanna to do that? You're gonna lose" he retorts, matching her smirk.

"We'll see about that, _old man_ ".

Clint puts his bow and arrows back into their cases, locking them up, and turns around to walk over to where Demeter is standing. "Alright _little peanut_ , let's go". Demeter rolls her eyes at him as they turn to leave the shooting range.

Once they arrive down in the very customized gym (of course Stark would customize it to everyone's strengths), they spot Steve, Natasha, Bucky, Tony, Bruce, Thor, and Logan. Bruce, Thor, and Logan are watching the rest of the team spar. Natasha is working on her dance moves (best way to stay agile and flexible), Bucky is practicing his knife abilities (he isn't ready to spar with anyone just yet), and Steve is sparring with Tony (if you call Tony getting his ass handed to him time after time sparring). Logan walks over to greet Clint and Demeter, and she lets him know that Clint is in for an ass whooping (which of course Clint denies and declares it will be the other way around). Thankfully Logan is willing to referee the match. Thor is acting as a spectator, awaiting his spar with the good Captain. He decides to turn his attention to watch the 'Eye of Hawk' bout with 'The Lady of Emotions'. God bless (or in Thor's case, Odin bless) the way Asgardians speak.

Clint and Demeter wrap their hands and then take their positions on the mats. "You sure you want this, peanut" he taunts, grin splitting his face in two.

"Oh yeah. Just be worried about yourself over there, old man" she sasses with a shit eating grin on her face.

"Alright. You ready, Clint" Logan asks. Clint nods his head and gets into his stance. "You ready, Demeter?" She nods her head as well, putting her hands up ready to fight. "Okay. This is a three round fight. First to pin the other wins the round. Ready, get set… fight". Logan quickly backs away from the mats, watching the two former assassins go at it. Demeter lets Clint land the first hit - gotta boost his confidence to make him think he's got it. She quickly counters with a left jab that he easily blocks. Demeter is able to land a hard kick to his side, and goes to sweep the legs, but Clint jumps out of the way. The two trade blows back and forth - some finding their mark, other's not. Demeter wants to get the first round over with, so she pulls Natasha's signature move out, jumping up and wrapping her thighs around Clint's neck, and using her body weight to flip him down onto the mats. Clint huffs out a breath in annoying defeat, and Demeter just grins at him. "First round goes to Demeter".

"You fight like Natasha" he accuses, using his arms to push her off of him. ' _Gonna have to switch up this game plan_ ' he thinks. He can hear Natasha yell at him from a distance to do better.

"I'll take that as a compliment" she says, standing up and offering a hand out to Clint to help him up, which he kindly takes.

Logan directs, "set up for round two".

"Good battle Lady Demeter". Thor is such a sweetheart, always complimenting someone on their battle skills. She of course knows that he could kick her butt any day of the week if he wants to.

Clint and Demeter get into their positions again, waiting for Logan to start round two. This time, Clint takes the first hit, but he quickly counters with an elbow to Demeter's face. Not wasting any time, he shoots a kick to her side, but she catches it after impact, rolling them onto the ground. Clint is able to move before she does, quickly positioning himself onto her back, twisting her arm behind her and shoving her head onto the mat. "Three, two, one" he whispers with an air of confidence. He feels Demeter reluctantly tap against his thigh to signal that she is done for the round. Clint, like the gentleman that he is, is nice enough to help Demeter stand as Logan announces Clint the victor for round two. Deciding to have a little fun, he jokes with her."You alright there, _little peanut_ ". The glare Demeter shoots his way lacks any real threat, as a small smile fills her face.

"We still got one round to go, old man. Better prepare yourself".

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see whose nickname stands after this round".

The two ex-assassins moved into positions as Logan announces round three. They circle each other for a brief moment, each person deciding how they want to proceed. Demeter fakes a jab, and follows up with a  right hook, which barely nicks Clint. He tries throwing a kick to her head, but she ducks and follows up with a  kick of her own to the back of his knees, making him drop to the ground. He quickly stands and barely dodges her punch. They circle around each other again, each regaining their footing and deciding upon the best way to continue. Clint is able to maneuver himself behind Demeter, wrapping his arm around her throat, putting her in a chokehold. She struggle momentarily, but is able to flip him over onto his back, dropping down on his chest with her arm raised in the air as if she is going to punch him. Logan declares the match over and Demeter the winner. "Caw caw, motherfucker" she jests, unable to help the laugh that escapes her throat.

"Ugh. get off of me". Demeter chuckles as she steps off of him, allowing Clint to stand. "I guess it's 'old man' from now on".

"I don't know. I kinda like birdman for ya now".

"God, now you sound like Tony" he states, annoyed at being called birdman by another person.

"It's not that bad of a nickname, birdman" Tony shouts after he is once again pinned by Steve, as Thor walks over to engage Steve in a bout of sparring (letting poor Tony get out of there).

"See what you started" he accuses, looking at Demeter as she laughs in his face.

Natasha walks over to congratulate Demeter on besting Clint. "You did good. Clint, sloppy, could do better". She wears the tiniest smirk on her face as she jabs Clint. "How about me and you go a few rounds" she suggests to Demeter, who instantly looks to Logan for advice. Natasha observes as the two communicate with just facial expressions. Demeter eventually looks back at her and agrees. "Okay". Natasha can tell that Demeter is unsure of herself, but doesn't understand why. After all, Demeter did just go three rounds with Clint, so why should she be uneasy about Natasha.

They took their positions on the mat as Logan, Bruce, Clint, and Tony watched on. Logan signals them to begin, and each woman circles around the mat, getting a feel for how the other one moves. Demeter is starting to get bored of just circling, which she knows is Natasha's plan. Demeter immediately moves to strike but rolls at the last second to miss Natasha's right hook. She quickly stands and the two circle each other again, each devising a battle strategy. Natasha is quick on her feet, always ready to strike. The red head moves to throw a jab/kick combo, only slightly landing the kick to Demeter's stomach. Demeter counters with a flying elbow, just barely clipping Natasha in the face. They are pretty evenly matched,  both having been child assassins for organizations that basically brainwashed them. The two women trade blows back and forth from that moment on. Natasha is definitely landing more hits, but Demeter lands a few good ones herself. Demeter takes a wild swing, which is just the opening Natasha is waiting for, as she grabs her arm, getting in front of Demeter, and pulls her down into a summersault. Natasha lands on top with her thighs on both sides of Demeter's stomach, while her forearm is pressed to Demeter's throat and her right arm up in punching position. Natasha looks down at the panting Demeter to find that her eyes are red. "What the hell does red mean" she asks, starting to become slightly worried.

"What?"

"Your eyes. They're red".

"Shit" she swears, rolling out from under Natasha and trying to turn her eyes back to brown. "I'm sorry" she apologizes, running from the mats, passing Logan and the others and exits the gym.

Logan shifts his attention to Natasha. "What the hell was that" he demands.

"You tell me. Her eyes went red".

"Red? You sure?"

"They were as red as my hair" she replies coolly.

"Ah, sorry 'bout that. I'll have her explain later. Excuse me". Logan swiftly leaves the gym and the confused, gaping occupants.

*

"Oh my God" she pants, as she inserts a finger into her wet folds. ' _Steve has me standing with my hands tied to the rope hanging from the ceiling so I can't move. He spreads the lube over his fingers and slowly opens me up from behind. I gasp at the sensation of his intruding fingers, slowing working their way into my hole. It's foreign territory - no one's taken me this way since a mission I once had. Once he's finished, he inserts his hard cock into my ass, inch by inch. Bucky's watching from the chair by the bed, palming himself through his jeans. Natasha walks up to where I'm standing blindfolded, and lightly traces what feels to be a riding crop on my stomach and down to my pussy. She gives it a quick swat as Steve thrusts in, the sensation causing me to cry out in pleasure. Natasha makes sure to hit a new spot on my body each time. Steve reaches around and twists my nipple with his one hand while his other is gripping my side, effectively holding me in place. At the same time, Natasha hits me with the riding crop, and I cry out in pleasure, Steve rocking me through our orgasms as he comes inside of me'_.

Demeter actually makes herself orgasm from her fantasy. She can still feel herself aroused, and she lets her mind run wild with the rest of her fantasy. ' _After I cum, Steve unties me from the ropes, and Natasha leads me over to the bed, all while Bucky is still watching from the chair to the side. Natasha grabs a tie that is used to blindfold me and uses to it tie my wrists to the headboard. "Shhhh" she says as she moves so my head is between her thighs. "Lick" is all she says. I stuck my tongue out and lick from the bottom of her folds all the way up to her clit, making sure to circle around and gently nibble on the stub. I can hear Natasha moan from the sensation, her arms roaming up and down her own body. I plunge my tongue inside of her, licking and eating her pussy like it is my mission. I pull out and lick and nibble on her clit again as she comes riding my face. I mop up her cum, making sure to eat every last drop. I look over as Bucky moans to himself, turned on by what he is seeing". "My turn" the red head says as she moves down in between my legs to repay the favor. Within minutes, I am coming again. I feel completely spent by the time she finishes. Natasha puts her clothes back on and leaves the room. It's just me and Bucky now. He gets up from his chair and moves to the bed. My wrists are still tied as he peppers my body with kisses, scattering a few hickeys here and there. "I'm going to fuck you so hard" he says as he slides his cock into my mouth. "That's right. Suck like the good little girl you are". He moves in and out of my mouth, hitting the back each time he thrusts in. His breathing speeds up and he removes himself from my mouth. "Good girl. You're doing so good for me. I'm gonna make this so good for you" he promises, lining his cock up with my entrance. He pushes in all at once, making me cry out. I feel like I have nothing left to give as he relentlessly thrusts in and out. Bucky whispers sweet praises to me as he takes me however he pleases. "That's right baby, come for me. I know you can do it". On the next push, he rubs my clit and I scream his name through my orgasm. There isn't much cum, but holy hell that is intense. He gives three more quick, hard thrusts before he comes inside me. He pulls out and unties my wrists from the headboard, massaging them to make the blood flow again'_.

Demeter is rubbing herself as Logan bursts through the door, immediately aroused by the sight and smell. "God damn, kid".

"Logan, please" she begs, giving him the poutiest look she can muster. She needs someone in her at the moment. "Please".

Logan is undressed within seconds, making his way over to the bed. "Just like old times, Dem. You're already begging for me". He inserts his finger into her. "You're so wet for me already. Such a fuckin' slut" he growls, knowing that she loves to be called names during sex. "Gonna fuck you so hard". He bites down on her shoulder near her neck as he pushed himself into her. "That's right. Take it like the fuckin' whore you are". Just like Bucky was in her fantasy, Logan is relentless as he pounds away in her. "Is this what you want, huh, slut" he hisses, wrapping his hand around her throat. "Want me to choke you? You like this, don't you? Like it when you can't breathe". Demeter is barely able to mumble out a low "yes". She is too far gone for actual words now as her moans fill the air. Logan squeezes her throat as he thrusts into her, making her orgasm for the second time that night. He comes moments after, rolling off once he is finished. "Fuck, Dem". She is unable to manage words right now. He curls around her, wiping hair from her face. "You're gonna have to explain why you ran out on them earlier".

"Later… Sleep and shower". She curls up next to Logan. She's missed the way he feels next to her naked, sweaty from a good fuck. They fall asleep, tangled together in limbs.

*

Demeter stumbles out into the kitchen/lounge area where everyone is, waiting for dinner to arrive. "Hey, everyone".

"Hello, mighty warrior". Thank Odin for Thor. He knows how to make her smile.

"Hey Thor. I uh, I just wanted to apologize about earlier".

"You mean earlier when you ran off after Romanoff kicked your ass? That earlier?" Tony, what an ass.

"Uh, yeah. That isn't the reason I ran off though. I can handle losing a fight ya know". Demeter is almost offended at Tony's words, then remembers it is only Tony.

"Does it have to do with your eyes turning red?" Of course Natasha wants to know. She is the first of the avengers to see her eyes that color.

"Yeah, it does".

"What does red mean" Bruce inquires, interested in 'science' as always.

"If black means anger and blue means sad, what does red mean?" Clint is toying with a drumstick in his hands for some unbeknownst reason.

Demeter sees Steve and Bucky on the couch together, looking at her with expectant faces.

"Red means passion, and love, and…pleasure". The room is quiet for a whole minute before Tony breaks the silence.

"You mean you were turned on by getting your ass handed to you by red over there?"

"I'm statin' to want to see how well you'd fair against me in the ring, Stark". She stands up straight, eyeing Tony up.

"I'm starting to want you to make me" he retorts, winking at her.

"Glad to know it's not just me he has that effect on" Steve acknowledges, looking genuinely happy he isn't alone in that feeling.

"Alright, alright, calm down children" Logan pipes up, opening the beer bottle in his hand.

Demeter focuses her attention back to Natasha. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for my eyes to go red on you. I apologize".

"No need to be sorry. Sex is a basic, natural instinct. Plus, I know that you feel it more than we do. I can't imagine what it's like to feel arousal at that high of a level". Bless Natasha for remembering that Demeter feels twenty times more than the rest of them.

"Thanks. It almost feels like being possessed sometimes. Like the only thing I need in life is sex. Nothing else matters in those moments. It's nice when I have someone there to help me out with it. And if I don't, then I take care of it myself". Demeter can actually feel Steve getting slightly embarrassed on the couch. She glances over at him, giving him a quick wink before turning her attention back to the rest of the group.

"What was your dirty sex fantasy about anyways? Tell me. I want to know. Give me all the juicy details".

"Tony. Try to have a little more tack". Poor Bruce. The things he's had to listen to Tony talk about in the lab while performing experiments and creating new suits - he should need therapy just for that.

"Oh, so sorry, Stark. 'M not gonna tell you".

"Who was in it? At least tell me that" he pleads.

"Fine. Steve, Natasha, and Bucky were in it. No one else". She can definitely feel Steve getting embarrassed on the couch. Luckily Bucky grabs his hand and squeezes, effectively calming him down.

"Oooo, kinky" he says, making sure to tease Steve about it. He wouldn't dare tease Natasha or Bucky about it - they each still have their murder death stare, and Stark is smart enough to not want any part of that.

"I don't know about you Stevie, but I'm kinda honored to be in her fantasy. After all, I am the best lookin' one here".

Steve lets out a genuine laugh at Bucky's response. "Sure are, Buck. The most handsome man on the planet".

"Awww, look at the geriatric love birds. Get a room" Tony teases.

"Don't be jealous, Stark. We know you want us".

"Wow. That Avengers orgy you joked about the other day Clint might actually come true".

"We could videotape it and post in on youtube - it'd get a million views in a minute".

"What is this youtube you speak of? We on Asgard are very open to sexual intercourse. We do not frown upon it, unless it is non-consensual. Then we imprison those who force themselves on anyone for life. They die in our cells".

"I like Asgard already" she admits, giving Thor a shy smile. "Anytime you want to have sex big guy, let me know. I am all for that".

"I believe my Lady Jane would not approve of this. I thank you for your offer".

"No problemo, dude. Now, I think someone said something about food? Maybe?"

"It'll be here momentarily" Jarvis announces from the ceiling.

Demeter and Logan take a seat over by Steve and Bucky on the couch. The two 'couples' curl up with their perspective partners, listening and chiming in the conversation every once in a while. She is happy that the team took her news well and didn't freak out. They all lounge around eating shawarma and watching shark documentaries. As much as she likes it here, Demeter misses everyone back at the mansion. She knows that she will be leaving here soon, but she is at peace with that - she at least knows she has a place to visit if she wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that you all are buttered up and happy from this smutty chapter, get ready for the pain!
> 
> Only two more chapters to go! I cannot believe I am almost done with this fic. It has been a wild ride writing it. I hope you all are enjoying it. Please let me know what you think.


	17. These Motherfuckers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper takes Demeter shopping, and they run into a bit of trouble. Avengers and X-Men must work together to accomplish their goal and save their friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is probably the longest chapter of the fic (or at least it seems that way).
> 
> *Warning: description of violence and killing*
> 
> *Note: there is sex in this chapter* - my favorite OTP gets together for all of you Stucky shippers!
> 
> As always, if I missed anything in the tags, please let me know.

"Sir, Ms. Potts is here" the AI announces.

"Thank you Jarvis". Tony backs away from his work station in his lab, giving himself the once over - he is covered in grease and is sweaty all over. "She's seen me worse than this" he says to himself. He watches as the head of his company walks through the sliding doors into his lab. "Good morning, Ms. Potts".

"Good _afternoon_ , Tony". She glances around to see what he is working on. "A new suit?"

"Tinkering. Working on adding more juice to the repulsors . Ready for your girls day out with whacko upstairs".

"Tony, be nice. She's not 'whacko'. From what you told me, she seems nice. She helped Bucky, and that means she's okay in my book. Everything will be ready for tonight. I called the caterer and design teams - they'll be here by five. Be nice and don't blow yourself up down here". Pepper gives him a small kiss on his cheek before riding the elevator to the top to retrieve Demeter.

The elevator doors opens, Pepper strutting out with her heels clicking on the hard floor. "Jarvis, where is everyone?"

"Dr. Banner is down in the lab with Sir. Agents Barton and Romanoff are at SHIELD, Thor is visiting with Ms. Foster, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are out for a run, and Ms. Demeter and Mr. Logan are in her room".

"Could you please let them know I am here?"

"Of course, Ms. Potts". A brief moment passes before the AI speaks again. "They have been informed and will be out momentarily".

"Thank you, Jarvis".

"You're welcome, Ms. Potts".

Pepper stands waiting for them in the open area between the kitchen and communal lounge. Thankfully she does not have to wait much longer as Demeter and Logan step out of their room, approaching Pepper with a smile. "Hello, I'm Pepper. I don't know if Tony has told you who I am or what I'm doing here today". The strawberry blond extends her hand for the two mutants.

Demeter stretches her hand out to embrace Peppers. "He didn't exactly tell me, but I do know who you are. It's an honor to meet you, Ms. Potts".

"Please, call me Pepper". She extends her handshake to Logan, who has a knowing smile on his face. "I'm assuming you're Logan. It's nice to meet you".

"Likewise" he says, not at all surprised by her firm handshake. She is a  CEO for heaven sakes.

"I know who are you, but I do not know what you're doing here". Demeter looks between Logan and Pepper, hoping one of them will tell her what she is doing here - not that it is any of her business or anything. Demeter just finds it strange she would go out of her way to meet her and Logan.

"I am here to take you shopping. Tony asked and cleared it with Logan. Are you ready?"

"Shopping? For what?" Demeter is confused at the sudden request to take her shopping. She has everything she needs and she is leaving the following day.

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to tell you. And I was told to politely ask you not to use your powers to find out" she speaks, a small apologetic smile on her lips.

Demeter's face scrunches, giving Pepper a hard assessing look before caving in. "Fine, no powers. Let me grab my phone and I'll be ready to go" she says, turning around to walk right back to her room to grab her phone. She reappears moments later with phone in hand. "Ready".

"Excellent. Come with me". She watches as Demeter gives Logan a hug and chaste kiss before walking with her to ride the elevator down to where Happy is parked, waiting for them. He greets both women as he holds the doors open for them, assisting them in if needed. Then they are off.

*  
"No" she says in a cold hard voice, looking at herself in the mirror with Pepper behind her.

"It looks beautiful on you" the CEO replies.

"It's poofy. I'm not a princess in the 1500's. It's a no". She crosses her arms over her chest (well, more like over the poofyness of the dress), raising an eyebrow at Pepper that basically entails 'fight me on this and you will lose'.

"Fine. Try these ones on" she hands Demeter five more non-poofy dresses.

"Ugh, fine. I don't even understand why we're doing this. I don't need a fancy dress or anything".

"In my experience, it's always nice to have one on hand, just in case". She catches Demeter's eye roll and lest out an exasperated sigh. "Pick a dress you like and I promise I'll take you shopping for casual clothes. Deal?" Leave it to the CEO to try and negotiate the situation and make a deal.

Demeter pops her head out from behind the curtains, giving Pepper a scrutinizing gaze before agreeing. "Deal" she agrees, popping her head back behind the curtains. Fifteen minutes pass before she reemerges, wearing a beautiful black dress that hugs her curves in all the right ways. Demeter watches Pepper's face, looking for any sign of disapproval, but doesn't find any. What she does find is Pepper's face lighting up as a big smile is plastered on. "This one".

"Definitely. You look stunning, Demeter".

"Thanks, Pepper. Now, may I take this ridiculously expensive dress off?"

"Yes, you may" she concedes, a small laugh escaping her mouth.

Demeter emerges a  minute later, holding the dress out to Pepper. "Thank you".

"Oh, you're welcome, Demeter. You looked beautiful in it" she assures, squeezing Demeter's hand reassuringly. "Give me just a moment to pay for this". Demeter patiently waits a good five steps back from the register, not wanting to hear the total of the dress. Pepper approaches her a moment later, looking ready to do more shopping. "All done. Now as I promised, casual clothes shopping".

A small smile blooms on Demeter's face. As nice as it is to dress fancy every once in a while, she prefers to wear jeans or shorts. She follows Pepper out of the store, immediately spotting Happy who takes the box from his boss's hands and places it into the trunk of the car. "Are you ladies ready to leave?"

"Yes, Happy, we are. We're going to be going to Manhattan Mall". Happy opens the door to let Pepper in first, then turns to help Demeter in.

Before Demeter can reach her hand out to Happy's, she feels something hit her neck. It feels just like the tranquillizing dart Clint shot at her all those weeks ago. She frantically searches around and sees men quickly approaching them. She attempts to use her powers, but is unsuccessful as the drug is already affecting her body. She slumps to the ground and can feel Happy attempting to pick her up before the other men arrive. Her eyes are closed, but she can feel a struggle between hands for possession of her body. In the back of her mind she knows Happy is trying to fight for her, but the other's are too much for him. She is theirs now…

*

"Sir, Ms. Potts is on the phone. She says it is urgent. If I may, she sounds in distress".

"Patch it through… Pepper, what's wrong?"

"Tony! They took her. We were getting into the car and they took her".

Tony can hear through the phone that she has been crying. "Who took who? What's going on?"

"We were just about to get into the car, and then someone shot her with some kind of tranq dart. All these men closed in on us. Happy tried to fight them off, but there were too many. They have her, Tony. They have Demeter".

"Shit. Pepper, I need you and Happy to come back here immediately. Don't worry, we'll find her". He hangs up with Pepper and immediately has Jarvis looking for video footage outside of the shop. Tony also has Jarvis instruct whatever team members are in the building to meet him in his lab pronto. He is reviewing the footage Jarvis found, watching the kidnapping happen. He is shaking by the time Bruce emerges from his lab.

"Tony, what's wrong?" Bruce looks from him to the video on the screen. "Oh my God".

"Yeah. I don't know who they are. There's no discernible markings on their clothes or faces. Jarvis is running facial recognition against all of them. Thankfully Pepper wasn't hurt, and Happy's injuries don't look to be too bad".

The two super soldier waltz in with Logan behind them. "What's this about, Tony" Steve asks, looking confused as to why Tony summoned them to his lab.

"Watch" is all he says as he replays the footage for them. Everyone's heads immediately whip around to see Logan extend his metal claws, looking like he is about to go on a murder rampage. "Easy there, big guy".

"I'm going to kill them" he growls, looking ready to fight anyone who would try and stop him.

"Woah, hey Logan, look at me. We're going to find her. We're not the enemy. Just calm down". He growls at Steve, but does retract his claws. "Good. Now Tony" he says, returning his attention to his teammate, "do we know who took her?"

"Not yet. Jarvis is running facial recognition. I also have him pulling any video with that car's license plate to try and track them".

"What about her phone" Bucky suggests, looking just as murderous as Logan,  but keeping his voice calm.

"They ditched it in the garbage can on the street".

Logan pulls out his phone to dial the professor. "I need you to find Demeter. She's been taken… Yes, I think by them. It was organized. Let me know as soon as you find her". He hangs up and looks at the men staring at him. "Xavier has a machine that can help find any mutant on the planet. He'll let us know when he finds her".

Everyone sits around, fidgeting with themselves while waiting for the desperately waiting for an answer. Tony does what Tony does best, he attempts to track her down using Jarvis. Bucky leaves the lab to go to the weapons room to gather his favorite guns and knives, amongst the other weapons he's procured - and damn does he look like the Winter Soldier again. His entire demeanor changes from visibly worried and angry, to mission focused and like death is about to rain down upon whoever kidnapped Demeter. Steve suits up and meets Bucky back in the lab. Logan looks as if he is about to shred every item in the lab out of rage. Bruce is looking a little green around the edges, attempting to hold off unleashing the other guy, who apparently enjoys Demeter and her tolerance of suffering.  Each of them about jump out of their skin when the phone rings fifteen minutes later. Logan almost crushes the phone when answering. "Where is she, doc?... okay… do you know where there?... what's located there?... that son of a bitch. I thought he was locked away back in the seventies. I'm gonna kill that sawed off little runt. Tear him limb from limb… Okay. See you soon". He hangs up with the professor and turns to face the group. "They're taking her to D.C. He has her. That's why they kidnapped her when she was just a kid, to experiment on her and others like her. I'm gonna kill him" he seethes.

"Who" is basically asked in unison by the group.

"Trask… Not sure if it's him or his dick of a son. Either way, they're gonna pay".

"Wait, hold up. Trask as in Trask Industries? The defense corporation?' Of course Tony knows their name. He did used to deal with people like them before he realized what his weapons were doing to the world all those years ago.

"Back in the seventies, Trask was attempting to experiment on mutants. He rounded mutants up like cows, poking and prodding to see how we worked. He almost had this one mutants DNA. If he ever got a hold of it, he would be able to wipe out not only mutants, but humans as well. He's a sick bastard and so is his son".

"We have to move out". Steve is already turning to leave the lab to go down to their private Avengers quinjet they store in the very bottom of the tower.

"The X-men are gonna meet us there. If it's anything like what Demeter has said about it, we're gonna need all the backup we can get".

"Let's move". Steve looks back over to Bucky who is being eerily quiet, which is probably scarier in that moment than if Bruce were to Hulk out. Everyone quickly suits up and boards the quinjet to fly to D.C.. On the plane, Logan informs Tony of the coordinates Kitty has sent him to meet them at. They land in an open field, just four miles away from Trask Industries. As they walk off the ramp of the quinjet, they are greeted by Xavier, Scott, Jean, Ororo, Remy, Rogue, Beast, Kurt, and Kitty. "What's the name of your baseball team" Tony asks, making a joke about how many of them there are.

"This is not the time to be joking. We have to find Demeter and get her to safety as soon as possible" Scott barks out.

"Hey Capsicle, I think I found your soul mate. You two will get along swimmingly" he sasses, not able to keep the disdain of Scott out of his voice.

"Let's just focus on finding Demeter. Do you know where inside they're holding her?" Steve is a strategist amongst his other duties, and him and Scott definitely will get along, both thinking the same thing.

"No. Cerebro was only able to direct me to the coordinates, but not the exact room. I can try and focus on finding her telepathically to help determine a more accurate location". Bringing his fingers up to his temples, Xavier focuses on telepathically finding and connecting to Demeter. He sees that she is in a room, wrists tied to chains that hang from the ceiling, kneeling on the ground bloodied and bruised. She looks as if she has been significantly tortured already, despite only being there for two hours. She is unconscious at the time, as Xavier attempts to communicate telepathically, but her mind is practically shut down. He redirects his search to those around her, inputting his consciousness into their bodies, looking around for any clues to direct him to Demeter. Thankfully one of the guards that is in the room leaves, and Xavier is able to have him tell the surrounding guards to leave, effectively clearing them an easier path. He is able to see what floor they are on and what wing of the floor. "Furthest room in the basement, on the west side of the building. She's been drugged - she won't be any use at getting out. It's up to us to get her. She looks bruised and bloodied, and has an extremely high chance of having multiple broken bones. It appears as if they've beaten her quite extensively". He observes the anger in each of their faces.

"Alright, everyone break up into teams. Kurt, we need you to get us a little closer. When there, Kitty, Beast, Jean, Logan, and Kurt are with me. Remy, Rogue, Storm, you're a team. Focus on providing coverage for us, and take as many of them out as possible. We're shutting them down once and for all." Scott is great at coming up with a game plan at a moment's notice.

"Bucky, stay out here with them and help with proving cover - kill as many of them as you'd like. Tony, see if you can access their computers and destroy any information or research on mutants and enhanced people alike. Actually, destroy everything they have. Bruce, stay here. If we need you, we'll give you the sign. I'm gonna go a different route to find her. Whoever reaches her first is to get her out as fast as possible. Everyone ready? Move out". Steve orders out commands for his team, just as Scott did for his. Kurt has everyone touching, minus Bruce and Xavier, who stay back at the quinjet. Kurt is able to get them to the outside of the building in the back. There, Storm commands her power and is able to make it foggy and lightning out as everyone who is going makes it inside. On the outside, Bucky finds high ground and begins picking each guard outside off one by one. Remy, Rogue, and Storm assist as well, taking out guards high and low. Once everyone is safely inside, they split up to carry out their missions.

Tony, with the help of Jarvis, finds their systems room and deletes everything in their files, whether it pertains to mutants or otherwise. He was destroys their machines (after he has Jarvis scan their dimensions and inner workings). Steve runs off to find Demeter, taking out as many people as possible on his way - Trask and HYDRA are interchangeable in his mind. Both want domination and control over the world and its people. Both are willing to experiment and kill hundreds of thousands of people to accomplish their goal. He is taking them out, doesn't matter if they end up dead or alive at the end - Trask will be no more after today. Thankfully because of Kitty, everyone in her group is able to phase through the walls with her, their sole mission of finding Demeter as quickly as possible. Let it be said that no matter if a person is phasing through a wall, a floor, or another human, it still feels weird. They are able to get a quarter of the way down before the alarms in the building sound. The entire place immediately goes into lockdown. "Tony" Steve speaks through his comms, "are you able to shut those alarms off and open the doors again?"

"Of course I can. This is child's play compared to my system. It's insulting that you even had to ask. I'm offended. Let it be known that Cap offended me. Do we need another team bonding exercise?' All while spilling off his classic bravado speech, he disables the alarms and unlocks all of the doors again.

"Thank you, Tony" he sighs.

After twenty minutes of searching, Team Scott locates Demeter. They quickly eliminate the guards standing watch, and especially eliminate the one torturing Demeter. "Found her. Kurt, we need you down here to teleport us out".

"Um, guys..." Steve awkwardly asks through the comms. "I think we have a bigger problem". He sounds like he is seeing the most terrifying thing on the planet.

"What is it, Steve" Bucky asks on high alert, now worried about his best friend.

"There's a room down here with what looks to be test subjects. They're strapped to chairs. We have to get them out".

"Steve, be careful. They could be dangerous. They could have powers". Bucky is already packing up his rifle to move into the building where Steve is.

"Steve" Xavier's calm voice breaks over the comms, "they are being experimented on just as Demeter had been. We're going to help them. They probably have a chip in their heads as Demeter did. Kurt is going to teleport them out onto the jet They should be kept sedated until we get them back to the mansion. There I can help them".

"Okay. Just hurry".

By that point, Demeter is already back on the quinjet, strapped into the medical bed they have on board. Bruce is taking her vitals, already contacting the doctors at the tower, having them prep for their return. Steve is helping Kurt with the other mutants, and the rest of the teams are busy finishing up eliminating as much as they can of Trask Industries. Once everyone is safely on the quinjet, they depart for New York. Xavier and the X-Men, along with the newly added mutants retreat on their jet, heading for upstate New York to the mansion.

When the Avengers touchdown at the tower, the medical group is waiting and ready to transport Demeter to the medical unit. The nurses are able to transport her quickly to unit, giving her an IV to flush the drugs out of her system before they give her medication for the pain. The doctors administered a CT and MRI scan, showing which bones are broken, if there is any internal bleeding, and if surgery is necessary. The nurses prep Demeter for surgery, needing it to reset the broken bones. Normally they would wait till the drugs are flushed from her system, but time is not on their side. Her injuries total a broken leg, three broken ribs, a broken nose and cheek, a dislocated shoulder, a cracked radius (forearm bone), two broken toes, and multiple deep cuts and bruises throughout her entire body. Recovery is going to be a bitch. Demeter is in surgery for twelve hours, although it seems like a week to the team. When the surgeons are done, they bandage her and put a cast on her arm, leg, and toes. Demeter is moved to the recovery room, where the best doctors and nurses tend to her, providing the best medical treatment Tony's money can buy. The all mighty Avengers wait outside the recovery room, looking on at the woman they've grown to like - even Natasha likes her. Logan paces back and forth outside, wanting to go in and help, but not knowing what he can do. He can heal, but there is no way of transferring his powers to her. This is nothing more than a waiting game for all of them.

"Wait, you heal" Tony squeeks, pointing at Logan. "Why can't we just do a simple blood transfusion? Your blood should heal her right?"

"No. My healing factor isn't in my blood. My body is also laced with adamantium - she would get metal poisoning, dip shit".

"There's no need to fight with each other. We should all go sleep. There's nothing we can do here. We can take shifts visiting and watching her, but for now, let's all go get some rest. Logan, please call Xavier and ask how the others are doing".

"Sure thing, bub". Just as Logan is walking away, Tony asks how none of this made the news. "You can thank the professor for that. He made sure it looked like an ordinary day to anyone outside the facility. No news".

"Huh. What a swell guy. Shame he's in a wheelchair. I could probably build him a better one. How long has he been bald for? Bald and crippled are not a good look". Logan has already walked away, not wanting to hear Tony's rant.

Suddenly a very familiar voice comes through. "What the hell happened" Natasha demands, walking through the doors looking pissed. "We're gone for two days and everything goes to shit. What happened?" This time she is giving them her signature eyebrow raise with her arms folded across her chest.

"Demeter was out shopping with Pepper for the party tonight. They left a store and someone snipped her with a tranq dart and kidnapped her. Professor Xavier was able to track her down using some machine, and we, along with the X-Men, rescued her from Trask Industries. They were the ones who originally kidnapped her as a child and trained her. We found others too. Before you ask, they're with the professor - he helped Demeter, figure he might be able to help them too".

"Блядь" she whispers in her native tongue. "How bad is she?"

"A broken leg, fractured arm, three broken ribs, nose and left cheek broken, dislocated shoulder, a couple broken toes, cuts and bruises, and probably one hell of a concussion". Bruce still looks a little green around the edges, but he is more worried at this point than angry.

"She'll heal. Won't be fun, but she'll be fine". Natasha knows better than most of them what it's like to recover from being tortured, especially by former bosses.

Finally Bucky decides to speak. "We'll be here for her when she wakes up. She won't go through this alone". He appears to be out of his Winter Soldier mode, and is more like his new self.

"I meant what I said. Everyone go to sleep. We'll come back down tomorrow to check on her". Steve is using his commanding Captain America voice, giving direct orders to his team, who begrudgingly listen to him. Well, Tony half listens as he goes to his lab before falling asleep in the spare bed there. Steve has a feeling no one is going to sleep well tonight, including him.

*

Steve startles awake from a terrible dream he is having. It is about the day he found Bucky tied to that God awful table in Zola's lab.  He often blames himself more for that day than he does for the day Bucky fell from the train. If Steve had stopped messing around being a puppet for the government and acting like a dancing monkey, he could have found Bucky sooner, perhaps before Zola took to experimenting on him. He could have saved Bucky all the torture and suffering he'd been through. Steve looks to the other side of the bed for his lover, but it is empty. Having a feeling as to where he is, Steve throws a pair of shorts on and a loose fitting t-shirt. He rides the elevator until it takes him to the gym, where he reluctantly finds Bucky pounding away on the punching bags. "Couldn't sleep?"

Bucky doesn't answer Steve at first, just continues his assault on the bags. "Yeah. What's your excuse?" Bucky never even looks at him, just keeps letting his aggression out on the poor punching bag.

"Nightmare".

At that, Bucky finally stops hitting the bag and turns to face Steve, taking in his appearance. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Buck. Just a nightmare. The important thing is you're here". His Brooklyn accent is heavy at this early in the morning. "Think that bags had enough. Wanna try your luck with me?"

Bucky studies his face, not sure if he is ready to spar with Steve or not. He hasn't even thrown a punch his way since that day on the hellicarrier. He doesn't want to hurt Steve ever again, even if it is sparring. "I… I don't know". Bucky looks confused, still not sure of himself.

"You're not gonna hurt me, Buck. I trust you".

"I trust you too, Stevie. The problem is I don't trust myself".

"You won't hurt me. And there are safeguards in place in case of an emergency. Jarvis is to alert Natasha if anything goes wrong. And if need be, then alert the other team members. You'll be fine, Buck. I promise".

Bucky ponders the idea a bit longe before he hangs his head in defeat, walking over to the mats. He still isn't sure he is ready for this. He isn't sure if he can trust himself in a situation like this with Steve.

"That's good, Buck. If it gets to be too much, let me know and we can stop. It's just you and me here, no one else. I promise I won't be mad if we have to stop". He waits until Bucky nods his head to continue. "Alright. Whenever you're ready". Both soldiers square into their positions, scouting what the other is going to do. Steve wants Bucky to make the first move, to show him this is his decision and that Steve is fine either way. Bucky eventually gets the hint after standing around looking at each other for a minute. Bucky advances forward, not as fast as he is capable of, but still quick enough to make Steve lose his balance slightly. He throws the first punch, but it is soft and slow enough for Steve to easily block it. "Come on, Buck. I know you're better than that". Bucky continues to throw a punch here or there, but none of them landing. Steve also notices Bucky isn't using his left arm. Steve finally drops his guard to stand up, looking at Bucky like he is annoyed. "You're not using your left arm. It's okay to use it, Buck. It's a part of you. I'm not ashamed or disgusted by it. I love you - all of you. Metal arm included. It might have been used for destruction before, but you can use it to save people now. It doesn't have to be a terrible reminder. It will be only if you let it. But I know you, Buck. You're so strong and brave, and I know you want to protect people, just like you protected me for so many years. Now, try and hit me like you mean it". Steve throws a quick punch, but Bucky is fast enough to block it, and throws one of his own that slightly grazes Steve's face. "There you go". It takes another minute or two before Bucky finally uses his left arm. They each throw punches and kicks that land - not hard enough to really hurt, but still hard enough for the other to stumble back. Bucky is able to kick Steve's legs out from under him, following him down onto the mats, pinning Steve's wrists in his left hand, while his right forearm gently presses to Steve's throat.

"Pinned ya" he smirks.

"Yeah, you did. How are you feeling?"

"I still didn't want to hurt you, ya punk".

"You didn't. I told you, you wouldn't. Now what do you want to do?"

Bucky hears the hint of challenge in Steve's voice, his smirk growing into something darker, more predatory. They both need to take their minds off of their hurt friend, and what better way than this. "You look so pretty pinned beneath me". Bucky gives an experimental roll of his hips, glad to hear the moan escape Steve's throat. "I remember this. I remember you loved it when I roughed ya up a bit before I made ya cum. Isn't that right, my little Stevie?" His voice is low and seductive, knowing exactly how Steve loves to be talked to.

"Y-yeah. I love it. Please, Buck". Steve lets out another low moan as Bucky starts rolling his hips even more, making sure to really press down on Steve's erection. "Oh God yes, please".

"Want me to hold you down and ride you until you're screamin' my name? Is that what you want?"

"Yes, Bucky. Please give it to me". He is almost whining for Bucky to give him release.

"Maybe I'll ride ya just like this and not let you come. Maybe I'll have you suck me off and come all over that pretty little face of yours, and not let you come. Whaddya think about that?"

Steve actually whines at Bucky's threat, thrusting his hips upward to meet his. "I'll do anything, just please, Buck".

"Please what? I wanna hear you say it". Bucky is reveling in watching Steve squirm underneath him.

"I wanna suck you off.. and I want ya to ride me till I scream your name. Please, Bucky". Steve is panting, unable to keep himself from being hard underneath Bucky. He needs this, he needs Bucky. Steve is grateful when Bucky slides off his shorts and boxers, still somehow managing to stay on Steve, keeping his wrists pinned. He moves so that he is straddling right below Steve's throat. All he says is "suck" before pushing himself into Steve's mouth. Steve relaxes his mouth as Bucky pushes in, slowly moving his cock in and out. It's been so long since they've done this, but thank the lord for muscle memory, because Steve takes him in like a champ. Bucky knows exactly what gets Steve going, and that something is dirty talk. He keeps telling Steve things like "you like this", "that's right, take it all", "you look like such a pretty slut for me", and "you're doing so good baby, taking me in and sucking me like it's your job". Steve is leaking pre-cum by the time Bucky pulls out and flops Steve over onto his stomach, positioning his ass in the air.

"Good boy. You're such a good boy for me, Stevie. God I've missed this". Bucky reaches his fingers around and shoves them into Steve's mouth to suck, getting them wet enough to open him up. "That's enough" he orders as he removes his fingers from Steve's mouth and quickly inserts one finger into his tight little asshole. "God, Stevie, you're so tight". He works his finger in and out, then slowly adds a second. Once his second finger is in all the way, he pumps them in and out, making sure to scissor Steve open before adding a third. By this point, Steve is a mumbling mess, unable to form full sentences. "You're doing so good for me, Stevie. Imma make this real good for ya". Bucky spits on his hand, which he uses as makeshift lube on his dick, before positioning himself against Steve's hole. He grabs onto Steve's hair, pulling his head back, leaning down to whisper in his ear, "I wanna hear ya. I want the whole damn tower to hear ya". He gives him a chaste kiss on the lips before shoving his head back down and pushing into him. Steve screams, which slowly forms into a moan as Bucky forces himself in, unrelenting in his pursuit. Bucky keeps spewing out praises to Steve, letting him know how well he's doing. Bucky continues rolling his hips, finding Steve's prostate in no time. Each man has a ton of pent up energy, a combination of sexual energy and tension, and this is certainly a fun way to solve that problem. Bucky can tell Steve is close, so he seductively orders "come for me, Stevie". With a  few more hard, deep thrusts, Steve is coming all over the mats, screaming his pleasure as loud as he can. Bucky follows only moments after, flopping down on top of Steve's back afterwards, letting them catch their breaths. "That was amazing Steve". Steve is still spent, only able to mumble his reply which comes out as "mhhmph". They lay there for a few minutes, before Bucky gets up to grab his towel, drenching it in hot water in the bathroom sink to clean Steve and himself up, as well as the mats. When he returns, Steve is still laying where he was when Bucky left. "Come on big guy, time to get up. I'll clean ya up, then we should go to bed". Steve reluctantly rolls over to let Bucky clean him and dress him. "Come on" he says, reaching down to pull him up onto his feet to make their way to the elevator. They hold each other all the way to their room, as each one nestles into the bed they share. "I love you, Steve".

"I love you too, Buck".

*

The morning consists of each Avenger (and Logan) taking turns looking after Demeter in the medical bay of Stark Tower. Logan has first watch - he practically releases his claws as he growls his demand at the team. No one complains as they each go their separate ways until the next person is due for a shift. Steve figures they still have their daily responsibilities, so taking shifts is the best idea. After Logan, it is Bucky, who takes over around noon. After him is Steve, who changes with Bucky around four o'clock in the evening. Bruce is next, staying with her until the nurses kindly ask him to leave for the night. It is the same routine the next day, except this time Natasha, Clint, and Tony take the afternoon, evening, and night shifts. Logan is always there, first thing in the morning. It isn't until the day after that the doctors wean Demeter off of the sedating drugs, letting her come back to consciousness. It takes some time for the drugs to wear off, but within hours, Demeter is waking up. She blinks herself awake, trying to figure out where she is. "Where am I" she mumbles, not really knowing if there is anyone there or not.

"Medical bay in Stark Tower. Fancy room for ya, kid". Logan is right by her side, holding her hand as Demeter turns her neck to look at him.

"What happened?"

"You were kidnapped. What's the last thing you remember?'

"Well that makes sense".

"Whaddya mean, Dem?"

"Why I hurt all over. The last thing I remember is being tranqued, and then being too drugged out to even think in some raggedy looking basement".

"We found out who your old employers were" he explains, thinking back on how he wanted nothing more than to kill each and every person in that facility.

"Who?" Demeter sounds much more alert, even though Logan can tell she is hurting.

"Trask. That asshole mutant hater. He experimented on you and others, hoping to make an army or something outta ya. We found others down there too. Don't worry, the professor took them back. He's helping them, just like he did with you".

"Oh thank God. I remember having trained a few mutants much younger than me when I was still there, before you happened. They must have stolen more people. Is he dead?"

"No. He survived unfortunately. We did however salvage enough evidence to turn over to the police. He's going to jail for the rest of his life for unlawfully and maliciously experimenting on people".

"Shoulda killed him". Demeter plants a solemn look on her face, happy that the others escaped and that the professor is helping them, but upset that Trask made it out alive. She yawns, but quickly stops as she winces in pain from her broken cheek. "How bad is it"

"Broken leg, fractured arm, three broken ribs, a side of your face is broken, and a couple broken fingers for good measure".

"Jesus, fuck. How long did they have me for?"

"Only a few hours. They were out for a  vengeance with you. Wanted to make an example outta ya - lettin' the others know what happens to people who run away".

"I hate them. I hope they all burn in hell". Her eyes are in the process of turning black from blue, as Logan squeezes her hand to center her.

"It's alright, kid. They ain't gonna hurt ya anymore". He is happy when her eyes return to blue, understanding they'll be blue for a while.

"I'm sleepy".

"Get some rest. The rest of the gang wants to see you. I'll tell em to come back later. You can also video chat with  the professor and 'em later. Sleep tight, kid" he says, kissing her on the forehead before leaving the room for Demeter to fall asleep.

*

Demeter wakes later that afternoon, staring directly at Bruce as she opens her eyes. "Thank God you're not green", attempting to sit up, but to no avail.

Bruce rushes over to her, gently placing his hand on her shoulder to nudge her back into a laying position. "Hey, no, lay down. You should try and take it easy on your ribs. They're probably going to hurt for a while. Can you tell me what day it is?"

"Thursday".

"Good. What's your name?"

"Demeter".

"Good. Can you tell me where your hurt?"

"Ribs, leg, arm, face".

"No head pain?"

"No, doc, no head pain. Just my face. What's the prognosis?"

"You'll make a full recovery. You need a lot of rest, the doctors can give you pain meds, and you'll be right as rain. Need to take it easy and let your bones heal".

"Awww, look at you being all mother hen to me. It's kinda nice, Brucey". Demeter flashes him the biggest smile she can with a broken cheek.

"Please don't call me Brucey. Tony already does, and I hate it".

"No problemo". Demeter watches as Bruce takes her vitals, making sure everything is as normal as it should be. "All good" asking after he finishes.

"All good. I leave you to it. I'm sure you'll have visitors shortly".

"Thanks, Bruce… Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure".

"When can I eat? I'm starving. I think I could actually, literally eat a whole cow right now".

That makes Bruce chuckle. "You can have something small. Best keep it to substances that are light and easy on the stomach".

Sarcastically she comments "Yay me. I get to eat grub for the next week…"

"Eh, we'll spice the grub up for you".

"Hardy, har, har, doc".

"I'll be in my lab. If you need anything, just ask Jarvis".

"You got it". Demeter watches as Bruce leaves, and not even five minutes after he's gone, Bucky is in the room, holding flowers in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other. "Oh, God bless your soul. Let me have a chocolate". She reaches her hands out for the box, hoping it is a mixture of all sorts of chocolate.

"Ahh, don't even care 'bout me, just the chocolate. I see how it is". He feigns innocence, carefully handing the box over to her. "How ya feelin, doll'?"

"Better now that I'm hearin' your Brooklyn accent. You're sexy when you talk like that", winking and blowing a kiss at him.

"You like it like this doll?" A smile plays on his lips, knowing full well how much Demeter is turned on by his old accent.

Demeter opens the box of chocolates and plops one in her mouth. "Mmmm, I think I like the chocolate better" she mumbles out in between chews.

"Stunning picture of beauty you are"

"Eh, fuck off" Demeter places one more piece in her mouth before closing the box and setting it aside. "I bet Steve talks with his mouth full". She keeps a straight face, not sure if he will get where she is going with her statement

"He tries" the ex-assassin replies with an equally straight face.

The two stare at the other for a brief moment, before Demeter's eyes light up and a smile blooms on her face, the pain be damned. "I knew it! Oh man, I wasn't sure who was what position in the relationship, but god damn, I knew it! This is so exciting. Tell me all about it, please. What's he like ? How was the sex? Please Bucky! I'm a slut for knowledge. Come on. Pretty, pretty, pretty please, with a cherry and sprinkles on top?"

Bucky practically doubles over from laughter, unable to contain himself at her sudden burst of happiness. "Ah, sorry Dem, I don't n' tell. 'S none of ya damn business". Bucky is still smiling, attempting to stifle the last remnants of his laughing.

"Aw, you're no fun. At least tell me this, was this the first time you two did the dirty since gaining your memories back?"

"Did the dirty? Is that what you crazy kids are calling it these days?"

"As opposed to what exactly? Barneymugging? Isn't that what you old foggies used to call it?"

"I used to tell Stevie I'd give his hide a good lickin'. That conveyed the message pretty clear".

Demeter is smiling again, so happy to hear about the soldiers sex life. "Oh, you kinky little fuckers. I like it".

Bucky scoffs at her idea of kinky. "Kinky, huh? It's not kinky at all. And what about your sex dream, huh? Wanna tell me what that was about?" He observes the woman before him blushing red, unable to help her embarrassment as she remembers what her sex dream was about. "I think your dream involved some kinky shit".

Swallowing her pride, Demeter explains the details of her dream. "If you must know, it started out with Steve having my wrists tied from a rope hanging the ceiling. I was standing, blindfolded, with my wrists tied above my head. He opened me up in the back with his fingers at a relenting pace, all while you watched from a chair by the bed. Once he felt I was ready, he pushed into me, not giving me much time to get accustomed to the stretch before he pounded into me over and over again". She can see Bucky squirm at the idea of Steve doing this to anyone. "Natasha was using a flogger on me during it, hitting my hot, wet sex as Steve assaulted my ass. Nat would roam the flogger over my hot, sweaty body, showering me with love taps from the flogger, until she decided to hit my clit and folds with each thrust Steve gave". Demeter watches as Bucky has to shift himself, relieving pressure off of his swelling cock. "Once Steve and I both came, he removed the blindfold from around my head, and untied my wrists, massaging them to work the circulation, peppering soft kisses across them once he was finished. Natasha led me to the bed, trying my wrists to the frame above my head so I wouldn't be able to touch her". Demeter coan feel her own heat pooling in her stomach, wanting someone to claim her right then and there. "Nat climbed to rest her thighs on either side of my head, and told me to suck. She rode my face until she came, and I licked every last drop from her. She slid down my body and did the same for me". This next part of the fantasy has Demeter blushing even more than before. "Nat left and you had me all to yourself. You told me you were gonna fuck me so hard, and you did, milking one last orgasm from spent body… And that's when Logan walked in and fucked my brains out".

Bucky is panting with want as he stands before her. He isn't exclusively into guys - he gave the dames a run for their money back in the thirties. He finds Demeter attractive, which makes her dream that much more hotter for him. His body and soul belong to Steve, but he would definitely do a threesome if it were to ever be offered, or even a foursome with Natasha in there too. "Jesus, Demeter. You are kinky". He knows the bulge in his pants is evident, but couldn't care less right now.

"Oh, my sweet little Bucky, that's just the tip of the iceberg with my kinks", winking at him as he blushes even more red.

His face grows into something darker, not a bad dark, but a hungry sex dark. Demeter tells him he doesn't have to stay, that he should go find Steve. "Be back later, bye" is all he replies before kissing the top of her forehead and quickly leaving the room to go find his lover.

' _Silly super soldiers_ ' she thinks as she attempts to get out of bed, but decides against it as her ribs protest against the movement. Bruce comes by to check on her after Bucky leaves, making sure her vitals are still good. He shoots her a skeptical look when he spots the box of chocolates next to the bed. Once he departs, the next visitor is Pepper. "Pepper, how are you? Are you okay? They told me you weren't hurt, but I wanted to make sure".

"No, I wasn't hurt. I'm so sorry for what happened. One minute we're walking and the next you were being kidnapped. Happy tried to fight them off, but there were too many of them. I'm sorry this happened to you".

"Oh Pepper, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself or Happy. You both were brave and I'm proud of you. I'm the one whose sorry. It was my past that put you in danger, and for that, I am truly sorry. I know I don't deserve it, but I do hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me".

"There's nothing to forgive. It wasn't your fault. This was all Trask's fault, not yours. I'm just glad that you're okay". Pepper reaches out and squeezes Demeter's hand, letting her know all is well. "If there is anything I can do for you, please do not hesitate to ask".

"I won't, I promise". Demeter looks conflicted, not really sure she wants the answer to her next question. "Is um… Is Tony mad at me?" She peers up to see Pepper looking confused.

"Not that I'm aware of. Why would Tony be mad at you?"

"Because I put your in danger" she whispers, still upset at herself for almost getting Pepper hurt.

"Oh course he's not mad at you. No one is. Is that what you've been worrying about? Oh, Demeter, he's not mad. If he is, he has no right to, because he puts me in danger every day just by being Iron Man. So no, he's not upset at you. Please do not worry about that". The CEO is already thinking about going down to his lab after her visit to make Tony see Demeter and explain that he isn't upset at her.

Biting her bottom lip, Demeter holds her gaze, focusing on her hands in her lap, only saying "okay".

"I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to go. I have a meeting in an hour. I'm very happy you're alive Demeter. I was worried about you. Once you heal up, I promise to take you out shopping again. After all, I still owe you casual clothes" she promises, smiling down at a woman who Pepper now considers a friend. Nothing like almost dying to bond two people together.

Demeter lets out a small sigh as she gives Pepper a small smile. "It's a date".

"Perfect. I will try and stop by sometime this week to see you again. Have a great day and rest". Pepper exits the room, leaving Demeter alone again. It is a short lived loneliness as Natasha slips in only moments later, spooking Demeter as her head is turned away from the door. "Hello".

Demeter about jumps out of her skin as the redhead's voice pierces the room. "Jesus fuck, Natasha. A little noise next time. Let a girl know you're there".

Natasha only rolls her eyes, taking in the sight of Demeter laying in the medical bed. "How are you?"

"Just dandy. Bruce says I'll be fine. Just need to rest and let my bones heal. Then I'll be right as rain".

"Not what I asked". Bruce has already informed Natasha of Demeter's injuries and her prognosis. Nat wants to know how she is mentally. She knows what it's like to be controlled, to be made and unmade. Natasha knows the toll of being captured by the people you hate most can have on the brain.

Demeter casts her head down and away from Natasha, not wanting to answer her question. Once Natasha asks again, Demeter answers, "I'm fine".

Raising an eyebrow at the woman, Natasha scans Demeter's face, looking at her like she's looking into her soul. It's creepy how she can make a person feel that way - exposed, like their whole life is on display for her. "Right. Being captured and tortured by your old employees did nothing to you". She waits a moment before continuing. "It's okay to admit that you were scared".

"I wasn't scared" she snaps back.

It clicks in Natasha's head that Demeter is putting on a strong face for her. The younger woman does not want to appear weak in the eyes of Natasha. She isn't sure why, but it makes sense now. Nat remembers what she was like the first year after being ~~captured~~ recruited by SHIELD. She worked her ass off and did everything in her power to impress her superiors (mainly just Fury and Coulson) and Clint, wanting them to think highly of her. This is exactly what Demeter is doing now. "You don't have to pretend with me. I know how strong you are". Her words catch Demeter's attention, noting how she is now looking at Natasha as if her last bit of fight is hanging on by a thin thread. "I remember how I was when SHIELD recruited me. I wanted to be perfect for them. I thought that if I showed I didn't have emotions and that I could follow orders, they would love me. Turns out they loved me with emotions. I learned that it's okay to show vulnerability to those who earned the privilege of seeing me weak. It made me stronger, knowing I had people I could rely on and go to when I needed". She watches as the words seep into Demeter's head, knowing that her words are effecting the young mutant.

The room is silent - Natasha put the ball in Demeter's court, and she is waiting for an answer. An internal battle raging in the mutants brain, not sure if she is able to trust Natasha seeing her like this or not. Like all battles, a side eventually wins. "I was scared they were going to use me to hurt everyone that I love" she whispers, her voice barely audible. "I didn't know if they were going to make me hurt Logan and the X-Men, or even you guys. I was scared I was going to be made into a mindless weapon again". A single tear rolls off of her cheek, landing on the blanket covering her. "I would rather die than ever hurt anyone again… I was only there for a few hours, but I've seen what they can do to people like me in a short amount of time… I never want to be that again". Demeter glances up to see Natasha watching her with a neutral expression on her face.

Eventually Natasha speaks. "We won't ever let that happen to you. You never have to be that person again". Here are to assassins who understand each other and the struggles each one faces. Demeter trusts Natasha, maybe not completely, but definitely more than she did before. If Natasha can find happiness (or at least something close to it) than so can Demeter.

"Thank you, Natasha… for everything".

"You're welcome". Easily switching from her slight vulnerability with Demeter to her natural state. Natasha informs her that Bruce is threatening to tear the team apart if they don't let her rest. "In the interest of living, I'm gonna go".

"Understandable. Tell Bruce I'm fine and he can check my vitals or whatever whenever he wants. Not like I'm going anywhere at the moment".

Nodding, Natasha replies "See you later", and leaves the room just as quietly as she entered. A shiver runs down Demeter's back as she thinks about how deadly Natasha truly is. Following the doctor's orders, Demeter decides to take a nap.

*

Dinner for Demeter is chicken noodle soup, courteous of some place in New York that Tony loves. Granted, they really do make delicious soup, and Demeter feels better after she scarves it down. Logan, Steve, Bucky, and Clint go down after dinner to visit her, hoping the soup helped. "It was delicious" she says. "Did you bring dessert?" She looks wide-eyed and hopeful that they brought her down a creamy chocolate deliciousness that she can devour.

"Did you eat all the chocolates I got ya" Bucky asks, looking around and spotting the closed box of chocolates on the counter.

"No, don't be silly. Those are for during the day to munch on. This isn't day anymore, this is night. Please tell me you brought me dessert. Pretty please" she begs, drawing out the vowels in the word "please". In this moment of begging for dessert, Demeter looks her age. It's rare when she looks young and innocent, and the men know that this is a special moment for them - they know she trusts them enough to be herself.

"Sorry, kid, no dessert". Logan can clearly see the look of betrayal on her face as he denies her dessert.

"Heathens, all of you. 'S blasphemous that you come down here without some kind of delicious treat for me. I'm hurt and need comfort food".

Rolling his eyes with a resigned smirk on his face, Clint replies "Maybe if you're good, I'll bring ice cream down for ya".

"With chocolate syrup and sprinkles" she says, perking up at the mention of ice cream.

"N' here I thought we were the desserts of your dreams" Bucky teases, using the knowledge of her sex dream against her.

Her face is suddenly red from embarrassment. Deciding to play it off, she coolly replies "I don't know what you mean".

"Y' know exactly what I mean. What me and Stevie did to you during your dream". Bucky's voice is low and husky, knowing it will get to Demeter.

"Fuck you Barnes" she says weakly, catching a slight shade of red in Steve's face as the exchange of words take place.

"Someone wants t' talk to ya kid" Logan cuts in, handing the Starkpad to her.

Looking down at it, Demeter suddenly sees Rogue and Remy on the screen. "Oh my gosh! How are you guys? I miss you. How's everyone back there?" Demeter is delighted to see her friends again, even if it is just through video.

"We're all good, Sugar. We miss you. Remy here asks 'bout you all the time. I think he misses his buddy, don't you Rem".

"Course I miss you, mon ami. Dis place is quite without you. They treatin' you good there?"

"Yes, Remy, they're treating me great here" she says, looking up and smiling at the three avengers standing in front of her. "How are the ones you recovered? Are they doing okay?"

"They're getting' there. The professor's been workin' with 'em and helpin' 'em like he did you. They're gonna be fine, Sugar. Don't you worry 'bout that. So, are Captain America and Hawkeye living up to your expectations? They were just delicious lookin' when we saw them". Demeter's face is instantly red, glaring daggers at Rogue for mentioning it. She frantically shakes her head side to side, putting her finger to her lips in a shushing motion. "Why's Logan laughing, Dem?" Sighing in defeat, Demeter turns the Starkpad to face Steve, Bucky, and Clint, all with huge smiles on their faces. "Oh…" is all the southern bell can say.

Demeter turns the Starkpad back to facing her. "That's why he's laughing…"

"If they's pick on you too much, let me know an' I's rough 'em up for ya".

Chuckling, she replies "Thanks Remy. I'm glad you all are doing good. I don't know when I'll be back, but I can wait to see you all. Tell Kitty I can't wait to show her all my pictures. I'm sure she's dying to see them".

"We will. Take care, love, and get feelin' better. Love an' miss ya". Rogue and Remy blow her a kiss through the video, and Demeter does the same to them, handing the Starkpad back to Logan after the video ends.

"Aww, isn't that sweet. The _little peanut_ has a crush on us Steve".

"It is sweet. If only she weren't injured, we could indulge her fantasy" he teases.

"This isn't going away any time soon is it" she asks.

"Nope". Clint purposely drops something behind him, so that he can turn around and bend down to pick it up, effectively showing his ass off to Demeter. "Oops" he says, placing the paper back on the table. Demeter raises an eyebrow at him, using her powers to make him feel like someone swatted his behind. "Ouch" he yelps, rubbing his ass with both hands to soothe the pain.

"Mhm, that's what you get" she teases, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Alright, punks, time to get out. Maybe, one of us will bring you ice cream later". Logan leads the three Avengers out after they all said their goodnights to her, each one kissing her cheek goodnight.

It is only a half hour later before Steve delivers Demeter a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with chocolate syrup and sprinkles. They sit and Steve talks about his day, keeping the mutant up to date with team affairs. Steve takes her bowl once she is done, and says his last goodnights to her, telling her to sleep tight and dream happy dreams, and that he will see her in the morning. Demeter watches as the blond super soldier vacate the room, leaving her to sleep for the night.

*

Bruce decides it is safe for Demeter to be out of medical, as long as she doesn't put too much stress on her broken bones. Basically he means that the team will cater to her beck and call, which is kind of nice for the mutant. Her eyes return to their normal brown color. It is hard to stay sad when she is surrounded by friends who love and care for her. Logan sticks near her the most, but Bucky is a close second as a mother hen.

Over the next three weeks, Demeter does what she can in terms of physical therapy for her broken bones, which are healing nicely. She still has a cast on her leg and arm, but the rest of her is looking a hundred times better. Natasha works with her in the gym, helping to strengthen her working muscles, and working on her broken ones as well (as much as she can with broken bones). Demeter is feeling more mobile than she has in the last three weeks since the incident happened.

Demeter is able to use crutches to get around the tower and outside. Pepper keeps her promise of taking Demeter shopping, making a girl's day of it. It is fun to finally be able to leave the tower. It isn't that she hated it or anything, but she feels so cooped up and has a bad case of cabin fever. Being outside and smelling fresh air lifts her spirits. Demeter knows that she will be leaving in a couple of days, and it is nice to spend the remaining time with friends, getting to go out and have fun before she returns to the school and the X-Men, whom she is excited to see in a couple of days. As nice as her time has been with the Avengers, Demeter has missed everyone at the school, even Scott. It is time for her to return to her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a roller coaster of a chapter. I must enjoy putting Demeter through the ringer or something. My Stucky feels were inputted into this chapter - they melt my heart.
> 
> Only one more chapter to go! The end is upon us my friends. Thank you again for sticking with me through this and reading it all. It means so much to me. You all are they best.


	18. Dawn of a New Era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang throws Demeter a going away party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely a sappy, fluffy chapter to end out the fic.
> 
> I do not believe any warnings apply to this chapter, so you all are safe. Enjoy!

Bucky is standing in the doorway watching Demeter pack the few belongings that she has in her room at Stark Tower. Today is the day that she's leaving. ' _Little does she know_ ' he thinks, staring at her, realizing what an amazing friendship he and her have made over the last two months. ' _Jesus, it's been two months already_ '. As she finishes packing up her clothes, the super soldier clears his throat, letting her know he's behind her. "Didn't mean to scare you" he says as he watches Demeter jump out of her skin.

"No, it's fine. I didn't even hear you come in. What's up?"

"Put your stuff down. Me and Stevie are takin' you out to lunch".

"Lunch? Now? I still have stuff to pack"  she trails off, turning to look at the remaining items she has to put in her bags.

"Yes now. Don't worry 'bout that stuff, it'll be done for ya by the time we get back. Now come on, we ain't waitin' all day". He watches as Demeter throws her hands up in defeat, dropping the items in her hands onto the bed and following Bucky out into the kitchen where Steve is patiently waiting.

"You two ready" the blond probes, looking excited to be going out with them.

"Yup. Didn't take much convincing to get Meter here to come with us". Bucky flashes her his award winning grin as he speaks. "Let's go". The three amigos ride the elevator down to the basement, picking one of Tony's expensive cars to take out. Steve drives - normally he drives like a speed demon (he did learn to drive from Bucky back in the day and during the war), but he's taking his time getting to the restaurant. The more time wasted, the better.

*

Pepper supervises as the decorators bring the decorations in and begin setting up. Tony and the rest of the team have decided to throw Demeter the going away party that was supposed to happen last month, but had to be postponed due to her untimely kidnapping. As odd of a meeting they had with each other, the team has grown fawn of Demeter, even Natasha has a soft spot for the young mutant.

The DJ is set to be there around 5:00 to start setting up, along with the catering staff. The party begins at six o'clock, which gives everyone roughly four and a half hours to have the whole floor decorated.  The floor the kitchen and Demeter's room and lounge room are on is just meant for the team. That floor is off limits. However, three floors below it is a floor dedicated to having parties and company over, which is where all of the workers currently are. Pepper is there to make sure everything is perfect. Let it be said that there is no better supervisor than the CEO of Stark Industries.

*

"So 'Meter, what's been your favorite thing while you've been here?"

Demeter holds up her index finger, indicating that she needs a moment to finish chewing her food and swallow it down. "My favorite thing, without a doubt, was helping you. I feel incredibly honored to have been able to help you with your memories".

Bucky stares at the young woman in amazement, that she chose helping him to be her favorite thing. He still has trouble grasping the fact that she was able to take his pain and come out on top. To him, if that isn't strength and courage, then he doesn't know what is. "The honor was all mine… I don't know how to repay you for it…"

"Nonsense. You don't have to repay me for anything. It was my choice. I wanted to do it. Please know that you never have to repay me for anything. James Buchannan Barnes, you do not and will never owe me anything. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am".

"Good. Now that that is settled, my next favorite part was getting to know all of you. Seriously, you all are amazing people. Bucky, you've been through so much in your life. You've lost so much, but you came out on top. You've beaten all odds in life, and I couldn’t be more proud of you. You are strong, and courageous, and caring, and loving, and are so incredibly selfless. No matter what anyone might say, I want you to know that you are worthy of everything. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I can't express how touched and honored I am that you let me into your heart and head, let me see everything that you never wanted anyone to see. You are my friend, and I love you".

Bucky's eyes are watering with tears he wants to shed from her speech. He tries saying something, but nothing comes out. He continues to look at her in complete shock and amazement.

Demeter squeezes Bucky's hand, which she took during her little speech to him. She doesn't know if she'll ever be able to express how much he means to her. Now, she turns her attention to Steve.

"Steven Grant Rogers. I cannot thank you enough for your support over the past two months. I remember the first time I was really bad, and you came in my room and sat with me. You didn't care that I wasn't talking, you talked to me without expecting any conversation in return. You opened up to me that day, and it meant a lot to me. I think you were the first person to get me to talk that day. You are a kind, generous, loving, honorable, worthy of all happiness, self-sacrificing martyr. You stand up for what you believe in and you don't let others dissuade you from those beliefs and convictions. I know you were just the same before the serum. And I really believe that Erskine would be so proud of you for keeping true to what he told you - to stay who you are; not a perfect soldier, but a good man. You've been through so much pain and hurt in your life, and you've managed to overcome every obstacle with your beliefs intact. That my sir, is truly an amazing feat. You've lost so much, and you've trudged through it with your Captain America persona, but you and I both know that you, Steve Rogers, was really hurting inside. You were reconnected with the love of your life, and I am so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I love you Steven Grant Rogers, and I am honored to call you friend".

Steve, being the emotional sap that he is, surges up from his chair and wraps Demeter in a hug that makes it hard to breath. He, along with Demeter and Bucky, has tears in his eyes. Demeter feels the stray tear trickle down his face and onto hers. She knows that no matter what happens in life, these two will always be her friends, her family. Breaking away from the hug, Demeter sits back down, staring at her two friends in awe. She is going to miss them. Steve and Bucky each assure her that she is more than welcomed to visit any time she wants.

"Thank you guys so much for lunch". Checking her phone she realizes what time it is. "Holy bananas, it's already three o'clock. Time flies when you're having fun I guess".

Finishing their drinks, Steve and Bucky share a glance. "We got one more place to take you. Think you're gonna like it".

Demeter, eyeing them skeptically stands and grabs her purse to leave with them. "What do you two have planned?" She watches as they both form mischievous grins on their faces. "I'm almost scared to know, but I'm game".

Steve drive Bucky and Demeter to Brooklyn. "What are we doing here?"

Bucky turns back in his seat to look at her. "We wanted to show you something". They pull up outside a rundown old apartment building. It is one of the few places that hasn't been torn down and rebuilt. "Come on" he gently orders, getting out of the car and holding Demeter's door open for her to get out as well.

"What is this place?"

Steve stepping up beside her, looks down at her, then at Bucky, and then back to the abandoned building. "Home" he whispers.

It takes a moment for it to register in her brain, but she finally realizes that this is where him and Bucky grew up. This is where they shared so many happy, fond memories of one another. This is their home.

She walks inside with them and up the stairs to where their old apartment sits. It looks as if it hasn't been touched in decades. To be fair, it probably hasn't. The whole building looks like it was used as a nesting spot for the homeless and druggies. Their apartment is in better shape than the rest of the building, but not by much. Bucky and Steve look in at awe at the place they once shared together. The place they used to huddle together during the cold winter months of Brooklyn, the place they reminisced about their first kiss. Even when they were younger, they both knew they wanted the other to be their first kiss. They shared something at such a young age, that some people never experience in their life - love.

Demeter can't believe they are sharing this with her. Sharing something so special and meaningful to the both of them. She knows the others on their team haven't even been here. Tears began rolling down her face, so caught up in emotions. "Thank you.." she says, spinning around to face them, "Thank you both for sharing this with me. I… I feel so honored". She sees that both men have tears in their eyes, rolling down their faces. This is emotional for them as well.

"You helped us more than you'll ever know. You helped give me the one thing on this whole planet that gives me life, gives me purpose. You gave me my Bucky back. I'm eternally grateful for that".

"And you helped give me my independence back. You helped give me my autonomy n' identity back. You know as well as me how much that means to someone like us. You and I are always going to share a certain bond, said so yourself. I still can't believe everything you did for me, and why you did it. Doesn't matter. I'm grateful either way. I love you, Demeter, and I will always be there for you. If you ever need anything, let us know. Me n' Stevie will be right there by your side".

Demeter is full on sobbing at this point. She is overwhelmed with love and care by these two super soldiers. Bucky and Steve sandwich her in a tight embrace, holding on to each other like this is their last night together. Demeter feels warm and safe in their arms, like nothing bad will ever happen to her as long as she's with them. She clutches Bucky as tight as she can, not wanting to let go. She can feel Steve behind her, keeping her safe. She knows in this moment, that she will always have a home with them.

Steve is first to pull away, knowing that they need to be heading back to the tower if they are to give themselves enough time to get ready for tonight's festivities. "We should be getting back".

"Yeah. I still have to pack everything".

"I told ya, Dem, we took care that for ya". Bucky's Brooklyn charm is back in full swing. He looks like the carefree, young man he once was. It makes not only Demeter smile, but light's up Steve's face.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just think you're tryin' to get rid of me. In't that right?" Smiling, she begins to move towards the door. "Come on ya big lugs. Time to head back". Steve and Bucky follow her out, but turn around to look at the place that was once their home, taking it in one last time.

*

Demeter hops in the shower for a bit, wanting to look nice for tonight. Steve and Bucky wouldn't tell her what was happening tonight, but they did tell her to look nice. Once she was finishes, she blow dries her hair and does her makeup. Someone left a beautiful black dress laid out on her bed for her to wear tonight. It hugs the curves of her body perfectly, andis low cut but still conservative. She does her hair in a 40's updo, and slips on a pair of red heels. She takes one look at herself in the mirror before heading out, her jaw dropping from how beautiful she looks. ' _Damn, I look good_ ' she thinks, turning to see her back revealed from the cut of the dress.

When Demeter walks into the lounge where everyone is waiting for her, she sees them all stop and stare.

"Damn, kid, you look beautiful". Logan waltzes up to her, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

"You clean up nice, Dem" Bucky compliments, admiring the view.

Tony walks through the door and is briefly taken back by the sight of Demeter dressed up. "Now that all you kids are ready, let's go. Don't want to be late". He leads them into the elevator and down two floors to where the party is. The doors of the elevator open, and Demeter is shocked to see the room full of people, decorations everywhere, and a banner that reads "Happy Going Away". Tony looks over at her and see's the amazement in her face. "Happy going away party. Come. Enjoy, dance, drink, do whatever. Night's about you". He leads her out of the elevator into the enormous room filled with people she's never even met before.

"This is for me…" she asks quietly, almost too low to hear over the music.

"We had this planned last month, but you know, you got kidnapped in all. Sorta puts a damper on a party". Tony walks over to join Pepper, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Wow" is all she manages to say at the moment.

"Come with me. I'll introduce you to everyone". Steve laces his fingers with hers, leading her over to the couches. "Demeter, this is Sam, Maria, Col. James Rhodes, Jane Foster, and Darcy Lewis".

"It's very nice to meet you all. Thor" she says, nodding at the God, "It's always good seeing you. Is this the Lady Jane  and Darcy you spoke of?"

"It is, Lady Demeter".

"Demeter, please. It's very nice to finally meet you Jane. I heard all about you and your work. Congratulations on the award. And Darcy, I head you tazed Thor. Nice".

"Yes I did. Proud of it". Demeter can already tell she is going to like Darcy.

"Oh, thanks" the brown haired woman blushes. "Are you from another planet too, or.."

"Uh, no. I'm from Earth. Have been all my life".

"Right. Sorry!"

"It's okay, I assure you". The young mutant turns her attention to Maria and Sam. "Deputy Director Hill, it's very nice to officially meet you. Same goes for you Sam. I've heard and saw so much about you two". They both say their hellos and shake hands. "And Col. Rhodes, I've seen so much about you as well. You're a good friend to Tony".

"Seen?" The three of them are looking at her with confusion.

"Oh, did they not tell you?" She looks over to Steve in confusion. He assures her that he informed them of her abilities. "Oh, oh don't worry. I didn't read your memories or anything. I've seen you all through their memories. That's how I know all of you".

"Well, any friend of Steve's is a friend of mine I'm glad you were able to help Bucky".

"Me too, Sam, me too".

The night continues on in a bundle of laughs and good times. They drink, eat food, and are in good company. Demeter even watches as Bucky tastes Thor's Asgardian mead for the first time. Let's just say Bucky could get drunk off of it if he tried. They play bored games, and when that isn't enough, Thor teaches them the story of Mjolner, his hammer. Tony of course has to see if he is able to lift it to become ruler of Asgard. He of course cannot, even with the help of his suit and Rhode's suit. Banner tries, and fakes hulking out afterwards - Demeter is the only one laughing. Natasha declines trying to lift it, claiming that it isn't a question she needs answered. Clint attempts, but he too fails. Even Logan and Demeter each try. Nothing. Steve is the last one to take a go at it. He tries with all his might, and right before he gives up, Mjolner budges the slightest bit. Thor's face drops in an instant, but is soon back to his jovial, smiling self when Steve is unable to lift it further. Demeter and Bucky were both watching and saw that the hammer ever so slightly move. They know Steve is worthy. Hell, the man is worthy to rule the entire galaxy if he wants to. Demeter shoots Thor a look that insinuates that she saw what happened.

The night goes on, and the conversation starts to die down. Maria and Rhodes leave roughly around the same time - they both have jobs to get back to in the morning. Jane and Darcy leave shortly after, needing to be back in New Mexico to continue her work. Sam sticks around for the night, which is nice. It gives her a chance to really talk about him and his life, and how he's doing trying to keep up with super soldier and Gods. Eventually the night winds down, and Pepper says her goodbyes to Demeter. Happy even comes up to give Demeter a hug and wish her good luck. All that is left now is Tony, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Thor, Bruce, Nat, Clint, and Logan. Apparently it is share your feelings night, because each person takes a turn telling Demeter how nice it is to have met her.

"You've been a lovely guest in my humble abode. You're welcome to come back if you ever want. Door's always opened to you. Though, I'm sure you could make someone open the door if you wanted. Could you? You can do that right? With your mind thing?"

"Tony, you're rambling again". Bruce gives her a reluctantly shy smile. "Thank you for helping over the last two months. It was nice doing yoga in the morning with you".

"Wait? You two did yoga? How did I not know about this? Jarvis, how did I not know?

"You were sleeping in your lab most mornings, Sir. Dr. Banner and Demeter practiced early in the morning while you were sleeping, sir".

"Huh, how 'bout that".

"It was lovely doing yoga with you as well, Bruce. I'm going to miss our talks".

"Likewise".

"Lady Demeter, if you ever need assistance, call and I will be there. You are a great warrior, and I am honored to have met you. You have the support of Asgard behind you in your endeavors".

"Awe, thanks Thor". The Asgardian Prince stands and walks over to her, picking her up off of the couch and embracing her in a tight hug. "Oh, wow. Thanks, buddy. I'm gonna miss you too". Thankfully the God sets her back down, letting her catch her breath.

"I know I haven't known you very long, but I can tell you're a good person. If you're ever in the city, look me up". Sam raises his glass to her, acknowledging his sentiments to her.

"Thanks, Sam. I'll be sure to do that".

"If you ever need a training partner or someone with shared life experiences, you know where to find me". That's what Demeter loves about Natasha - she's quick to the point and makes it simple.

"And if you ever wanna go to the carnival again or have a rematch, I'll gladly do it, my little peanut". Clint winks and raises his glass to her, a full smile on his face.

"Thanks old man. Dunno if you want me embarrassing you again on the mats". Demeter matches his grin with one of her own.

"Was a lucky go".

Chuckling, she replies, "Uh huh, right. And I'm a blond".

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever". Demeter is going to miss Clint. She loves the way he gets her humor and responds to her with just as much sass and sarcasm as he can. He knows what she needs even when she doesn't. He got her out of the tower and out of her head when she needed it the most. He was there for her. Clint also makes a delicious breakfast, which is of the highest compliments in Demeter's book.

"I'm gonna miss you, Demeter. Like I told you earlier, if you ever need us, all you have to do is call".

"Thank you, Steve. I promise I will". Demeter flashes a small smile towards him, reluctant to leave him in the morning.

"Yeah, I'll miss you too, ya little rascal. Again, I can't thank you enough for everything. I'll always be there for you Demeter, no matter what".

"And I for you, Bucky". She takes a look around at the conglomerate of people surrounding her. To the world, they are two super soldiers, two assassins, a genius/billionaire/playboy/philanthropist, a God, and a green rage monster. But to Demeter, they are a group of extraordinary individuals, all trying to survive in this messed up world, each with their own trials and tribulations. Each of these people have gone through hell and back, and have come out winning.

"I really can't express my gratitude and love for all of you. I know we got off to a rocky start, you know, you all interrogating me and all, but it got better. After that, you each showed me and incredible amount of kindness and compassion. You put up with me through the hard times, and you rescued me when I was kidnapped. Each and every one of you helped put a piece of me back together, and for that, I am eternally grateful. You are each so special. I did this earlier with Steve and Bucky, and I want to do it with the rest of you".

"Tony" she says, turning in her seat to face the goateed man. "You are incredibly smart, and talented, and loving. I know you try and hide it with your sass and quick comebacks, and uh uh" she says, waiving her finger at him, telling him not to interrupt her. "Like everyone here, you've been through some traumatic shit in your life. I can only imagine how each and every moment of it sucked. You amaze me how you continue to push through each day, knowing what goes through your head. I didn't know him, but I like to imagine that if your father were here, he'd be very proud of the man you've become. Not because of Iron Man either, but because of who you, Anthony Stark, are. I know it's tough, but let someone in every once in a while. You are an amazing man, and you deserve to be happy". She can see that Tony looks like he wants to cry, but is thinking of some witty retort in his head and failing. All he's able to choke out is 'thanks'.

Switching her focus from Tony to Thor, Demeter continues speaking. "Thor, my beautiful Asgardian Prince. You've been alive for thousands of years, and I know that you've experienced heartache and loss. I never read your memories like I did the others, but I do know about your brother. I was told of him, and your loss. For that, I am truly sorry. I can't even imagine what it must be like to lose a sibling, especially having been brothers for as many years as you two have been. Despite all of that, you are still a great warrior, a great prince, and will definitely make an extraordinary king. But more than that, you continue to be great man who is worthy of your title and power. You are incredibly caring and loving, like a golden retriever. You've seen the worst in humanities, yet you still have hope for a brighter future. That is an incredible attribute, and one I hope you never lose. I can only wish to be even a quarter of worthy as you are". The blond prince tucks his right arm to his chest, giving her a warriors acknowledgement.

Taking a deep breath in, holding it for eight seconds and releasing, Demeter shifts her attention to the red-haired ex-assassin. "Natasha… I know you and I have been through situations in life that we wouldn't wish on anyone. You and I are similar in many ways, and different in others. The one way we're similar is that we've both been given something that neither one of us thinks we deserve - hope. We've been given hope that we can better, that we can wipe the red out of our ledgers. I know you don't think so, but you most certainly deserve that hope. You are deserving of the hope, and trust, and love each person here gives you and has in you… You are the strongest person I know. You beat the Red Room. Yeah sure, you had help, but you did it - you beat them. You broke their conditioning and became a person who uses her skill set for good. That takes courage and strength. Before I was approached by you outside of that bar, I always wanted to meet you, but for the wrong reasons. I wanted to see if the rumors about the Black Widow were true, and if you were as great as the legends say you are. But now, I am beyond honored to have seen a part of Natasha Romanoff, not the assassin, but the person".

"Thank you". For once, Natasha's airtight lid on her emotions slips, and she shows a face of gratitude and understanding, one of care and vulnerability. The trust she has in Demeter and vice versa is astounding.

"Then there's Brucey over here" she acknowlodges, turning her attention to the quiet doctor. "Like Thor, I didn't go inside your head and read your memories. I'm actually not even sure how that would work with the other guy in there. Doesn't matter. What matters is that you've seen what I am, what I am capable of, and you didn't turn away. You spent time around me knowing that I could have easily evoked the other guy if I had wanted to. You invited me for tea and yoga in the mornings. You helped me feel included here. And for that, I thank you. You have the most self-control of anyone here, and I am completely jealous. I think my time here proves that I lack self-control, at least when taking in emotions. But you… you keep a lid on yours. You know that if you don't, a lot of people could get hurt. I know you think people only see the monster in you, but it's not true. We see the caring, gentle, kind worded man that you are. You deserve to let yourself be cared for, to trust letting go with someone. I promise you, you have that here. I know you don’t see how strong you are, but I do. You have an internal battle happening inside you every moment of every day, and you win those battles. Sure, you might lose a battle or two a year, but you win the war. That takes more strength than anyone here has. You are an incredible man, and no one, not even the hulk, can take that away. Thank you for everything you've done for me over the past two months. And thank you for not hulking out on me while I was in medical - yes, I know I was giving off bad vibes and making those around me feel certain emotions. And more than that, thank you for treating me like a human being, and not the monster I think I am".

"Uh.. well you're, um, you're welcome. And, uh, thank you". The doctor is more fidgety than he was earlier with more people around. He always looks so vulnerable, which Demeter supposes that he is. It only takes one instance to ruin everything he has worked for, and he wears that on his sleeve. Demeter nods her head as he gives her a brief awkward wave. Now for the last member of the team.

"And last but certainly not least, Clint. I still cannot thank you enough for helping me get out of my head when I really needed it. I know you know what it's like being trapped inside your own head, helpless to do anything but watch.  I know all of the stuff you went through growing up, how you became a part of SHIELD, and even the stuff with Loki. I know you've been shit on all your whole life, and I know you didn't think you belonged anywhere for the longest time. You belong here, with this team, fighting side by side with them. You deserve the respect, and care, and love that they give you. You deserve this family that you've found yourself in here. You are the best marksman in the world, and you have incredible eye sight. But that's just resume stuff. You are strong, and caring, and more emotional than you let on. You're also smarter than people think you are. You observe from  a distance and decide if someone is worthy of your time or not. And I can't tell you how happy I am that you think I deserve any of your time. You also have one of the best sense of humors I have ever seen in someone, and you cook a mean fuckin' breakfast, so you know I automatically love you for that. I'm happy you have love and someone to take care of you. You deserve that and so much more Clint Barton. Thank you for everything".

"You're, um… welcomed". Clint, like the rest of the group, isn't keen on showing public displays of affection. He does, however, walk up behind where she is sitting, and wrap his arms around her in a hug. When he pulls away, he makes sure to give her a noogie on her head and ruffle her hair up. Demeter of course playfully swats his hands away from her head.

"Seriously guys, thank you all so much for everything you've done for me over the past two months. I'm eternally grateful. I know the professor already told you all, but if you're ever up north, stop by the mansion. I'd love to give you all a tour and properly introduce you to my family. And if you ever need the X-Men's help, give me a call. We'd be more than happy to help, wouldn't we Logan".

"Yeah, kid, happier than whale shit on the bottom of the ocean".

"What a lovely image. Thanks for that. Don't mind him, he's a sourpuss. Alright, well, I'm going to bed. Logan and I are leaving around nine tomorrow. Thank you again for this party. I had an amazing time, and everything looked great. The food was delicious, the music was good, and the company was to die for. Means a lot you guys threw this for me". Demeter stands up as the team is murmuring their 'thanks' and 'no problems' to her. Each of them standing to gave her a hug goodnight, even Tony and Natasha who never hug. It is the best ending to this day that Demeter could have ever hoped for.

On her way back to her room, she reminisces about all of the events that have happened in the course of the last two months. She finished her road trip, was tranquilized and kidnapped, met the Avengers, helped a super soldier regain his memories, was tranquilized and kidnapped again, rescued, went to a fair, saw Steve and Bucky's old apartment, and found a new addition to her family. She wouldn't trade any of this for a thing.

When she reaches the room she has been staying in, Demeter strips out of the dress and into a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. She slides under the covers as soon as Logan walks in to go to bed as well. He strips to his boxers and joined her in bed. She snuggles up to him as much as possible, loving the feeling of being wrapped in his arms. She doesn't know what it is like for him having to put up with the casts on her arm and leg, but Logan never complains, just takes her for what is. He kisses her good cheek goodnight, and soon enough, they are both asleep.

*

The next morning, Demeter begrudgingly wakes to her alarm going off, playing the not-so-wonderful beeping noise coming from her phone. Rolling over, Demeter swiftly shuts the alarm off and rolls back over, not wanting to get up yet. Logan is already moving to get out of bed, nudging Demeter to do the same. He tells he'll make her breakfast and take their bags out to the lobby. She mumbles a response into pillow, letting out a long grunt of displeasure. She doesn't want to leave the bed - it's comfy and cozy. She eventually gets up when Logan reappears after his shower. Since they are driving, she decides comfy clothes will be best. She uses the restroom, brushes her teeth, and throws her hair up in a messy bun.

Demeter is excited to be going home and seeing everyone again. She misses Rogue and Remy, and the rest of the gang. It has been too long since she has seen them - phone calls, Skype, and their rescuing of her doesn't count.

Completing one last walkthrough of the room, Demeter steps out of the bedroom and makes her way into the kitchen. She is surprised to see a cacophony of assorted foods sprawled on the table. The whole group is seated at the table, enjoying a wonderful breakfast in each other's company. They each great Demeter as she walks in, Clint pushing out a chair next to him for her to sit down in. Conversation is easy flowing between the members at the table, discussing topics ranging from SHIELD, to puppies, to helping old ladies cross the street, volunteering projects they should all do (they could use some good publicity), Tony and Bruce's science projects, to what to have for dinner that night. Once Demeter and Logan are done eating, everyone says their goodbyes to them, wishing them safe travels and letting them know that they are welcomed any time. The last ones to say their goodbyes to her are Steve and Bucky. The two super soldiers engross her in another hug sandwich, each kissing her cheek goodbye. Steve and Bucky remind her to visit and that if she ever needs anything, all she has to do is call. Demeter tells them that she is going to miss them greatly, and that they can always Skype or they can come up to the mansion to visit. "It's super fun, I assure you. We have an awesome training room by the way. You guys should actually come up and practice in it. I think you'd enjoy it". She tells them that she will miss them and that she loves them.

After their goodbyes, Demeter and Logan ride the elevator down to the garage where her car is located. Logan throws the suitcase in the backseat, and helps Demeter in the front passenger seat of the car. With a five hour drive ahead of them, Demeter finds the comfiest position possible, leaning her seat back all the way and laying down to sleep while Logan drives.

The trip back to the mansion takes four and a half hours, with only one stop for a bathroom break. Logan puts the car in park and turns the ignition off, and gently shakes Demeter to wake her up. "Rise and shine sleepyhead. We're back". Demeter blinks away the dream she was having, the realization of finally being back clicks in her brain. He tells her that he'll get the suitcase in the backseat. She gets out of the car, stretches, and then shuts the door on her side. Walking with the assistance of her crutches, Demeter walks through the front door, taking in the sight of the lobby. She can hear the children on the upper levels running around, Rogue yelling at Remy for something on the second floor, and chatter coming from the kitchen on the first floor. She can feel this is the dawn of a new era for her. Demeter knows that she is finally back where she belongs. She is home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE MADE IT!!! Congratulations on making it through this fic and sticking with me through it all. Seriously, thank you all for reading. It means a lot to see each view, kudo, and comment on here. It took me roughly 4-5 months to write this, and I love knowing that at least some of you enjoyed it. I was so nervous writing an OFC, especially as the main character. Even if only one of you like her, I'm glad I wrote the character of Demeter. It was fun, and definitely emotional at times writing her story. This will probably one of the few X-Men fics I write, considering I mainly write Avengers fics. If any of you want me to write anything X-Men or Avengers related, let know in the comments or on my tumblr (loki-silver-tongued-god). If you liked, hated, or have suggestions for me, please comment and let me know. Thank you all again so much! You're the best!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this was chapter one! Please let me know what you think of it. I was so nervous to post it. It is going to be a long road ahead for Demeter, but thankfully the X-Men are there for her.  
> If you came here for the Avengers portion, they don't make an appearance until chapter 12, I believe, so sorry.


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